Yeah I came up with Lord of the Rings
*Nose begins to grow*
I did!
*Nose grows longer*

————————
Three Chandeliers for the Elven-Kings under the sky,
Seven Tiffany Styled shades for the Dwarf-Lords in their halls of stone,
Nine Chinese Lanterns for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One Barbie Night Light Cover for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Lampshades were made.
One Lamp Shade to rule them all, One Lamp Shade to find them,
One Lamp Shade to bring them all and in the shade bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shade lies.

Frodo sits beneath a tree, trying to figure out a way to have a thumb war with himself. He hears Gandalf’s off-key singing, winces, then looks up.

Gandalf: The road goes ever on um, uh…..

Frodo runs towards his carriage, trips over nothing and lands in a heap in Gandalf’s arms.

Frodo: You’ve had a haircut!

Gandalf stops the carriage

Gandalf: A wizard never has his hair cut, Frodo Baggins. Nor does he just let his hair grow longer and longer. It grows precisely as long as he means it to.

Frodo looks utterly confused. Gandalf looks at Frodo and begins to laugh. Frodo, thinking Gandalf is laughing with him, laughs too.

Frodo: It’s wonderful to see you Gandalf!

Gandalf: What do you mean see me? I don’t disappear and reappear like your uncle.

Frodo again looks confused. He sits besides Gandalf in the carriage as they drive through some poor hobbit’s garden, knocking over several garden gnomes in the process.

Frodo: What news of the outside world? Tell me, Everything.

Gandalf: Everything? My name Gandalf not Everything.

Gandalf begins muttering to himself trying figure out a way that Frodo could have been switched with a Took at birth.

Gandalf: Ohh! You’ve thrown me a “Welcome Back” party.

Frodo: It’s Bilbo’s 111 birthday party, Gandalf.

Gandalf: I knew that.

Gandalf looks disappointed. He hunts in his robes for a gift to give Bilbo and pulls out a half-eaten packet of chewing gum.

Frodo: Before you came along we Bagginses were worse thought of than Tooks.

Gandalf: Indeed?

Frodo: Never had any sense or did anything worth doing.

Gandalf: If you’re referring to the incident with the dragon, I was barely involved. All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door.

Frodo looks confused again and pulls out his script. He begins sounding out the word “the” on the cover. Gandalf pulls the script away from him, and notices SG LOVES RC on the back.

Frodo: Whatever you did you’ve been labeled a disturber of the pie.

Gandalf: Peace.

Frodo gives him the Vulcan sign, thinking it’s the peace sign. Gandalf sighs. Frodo jumps of the carriage and waves to Gandalf, who drives past the sign that says no entry, and into Bag End stops in front of the gate on double yellow lines. He walks up to the door and knocks it with his staff. Door opens and a very angry hobbit stares at Gandalf.

Angry Hobbit: Yes?

Gandalf: Bilbo Baggins!

Angry Hobbit: You’re the second one this week! He’s next door.

Gandalf goes next door and knocks on the door

Bilbo: No thank you! We don’t want any more visitors, well wishers, washing powder samples or distant relations.

Gandalf: What about Mormons?

Bilbo: Is that you Frodo? You haven’t lost your key, have you?

Gandalf: It’s me Bilbo. Good to see you! One hundred and eleven years old –who would believe it? You haven’t aged a day.

Bilbo open his mouth to say the same, but changes his mind and closes it again quickly.

Bilbo: Tea? Or there might be the remainder of Frodo’s chocolate milkshake lying around.

Gandalf: Just tea, thank you.

Bilbo: Ah right. You don’t mind if I have it, do you?

Gandalf: Oh no, not at all.

A sharp knock on the door and a woman’s voice is heard

Lobelia: “Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins!”

Bilbo throws himself towards the wall, hiding.

Bilbo: I’m not at home!

Gandalf: I’ve not got the wrong house again, have I?

Bilbo looks at Gandalf utterly confused a look that seems to run in the family.

How will the party go? Find out in the next chapter!
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PLEASE REVIEW!
I don’t mind if you say you hated the lot of it.
Please (if possible) tell me your favorite (and least favorite bits).
Thank you!

(If you’re wondering were the rest has gone I put it in the next chapter, so at the parts would be shorter and I can post chapters up weekly).

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