The Fellowship of the Ring

Knock knock on the door…

Bilbo: Go away! I don’t want any!

Gandalf: Not even an old friend?

Bilbo: Mother?!?

Gandalf: NO! Just let me in!

Blibo: But you could be a robber.

Gandalf: But I’m not.

Bilbo: You could be.

Gandalf: I am not.

Bilbo: You could be.

Gandalf: I am not.

Bilbo: You could be.

Gandalf: I am not.

Three hours later…

Gandalf: JUST LET ME IN!!!!!*knocks down door*

Bilbo: Gandalf! Why didn’t you tell me it was you!

Gandalf: …………

Bilbo: Gandalf do you want some tea while you rumage around through all my stuff?

Gandalf: Yes, tea would be find.

Gandalf: I must be on my way to see Frodo your nephew.

Bilbo: He isn’t my nephew he is my mother’s daughter’s son’s third cousin’s twice removed pet dog’s former owner’s cousin! Or you could say he is my nephew!

Gandalf: Er…ok? But I really must be going now.

Gandalf leaves and Bilbo’s birthday party was about to start…

Blibo: Gandalf is this what you meant by party?

Gandalf: Uhhh maybe. *walks away*

Bilbo walks up on the stand and looks out at the crowd.

Crowd: SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH!!!

Bilbo: nah…good bye *puts on ring*

Crowd: *gasp!* *starts crying*

Pippin: Wait! He didn’t take the food!

Crowd: Hurray!!! *starts partying again*

Bilbo walked back to his house laughing to himself.

Blibo: Those fools will be so sad.

Party gets even louder..

Gandalf: Where do you think you are going?

Bilbo: I am going to Rivendell.

Gandalf: You should leave the Ring with Frodo.

Bilbo: NEVER!!! *hiss* YOU SHALL NEVER TOUCH THE RING!!

Gandalf: Bilbo! I told you not to drink that “punch” from your fifth cousin that hates you *grabs ring from him*

Blibo: Good bye then Gandalf. *leaves*

Gandalf: Where is Frodo???

1 hour later…

Gandalf: That’s it! I can’t work like this Peter! I will be in my trailer.

After things are straightened up they redo the scene…

Gandalf: He better come this time…..er….um….oh yeah….Where could Frodo be?

Frodo: Here I am!

Gandalf: *mutters* about time…. I will be back Frodo keep this ring safe and secret. *leaves*

Gandalf leaves and Frodo is very confused…

Gandalf: *looking through old documents and papers* Hmmm… This looks interesting…*starts reading a book entitled Loogie Lessons for the Beginning Wizard* So that is how they do it!!! *puts down book* Hmmm. what is this? *Picks up a book called 101 Ways to Keep Your Hair Silky and Shiny by Legolas Greenleaf It read*

Tips for your hair………
#1 Remember you comb/brush is your best friend.
#2 If you don’t have time to wash your hair in the morning (I usually set aside 3 hours), spritz it with water from a spray bottle before combing.
#3 If you have to go outside in a hurricane, use plenty of hairspray first. Otherwise you’ll have to settle for the “windblown” look.

Hmm.. This is a good book..*puts book under robe along with Loogie Lessons* *Starts looking again* What is this! *finds a book called The History of the Rings of Power* *throws book aside and finds Loogie Lessons for the Advanced Wizard* Perfect! *puts book under robe also* I will find just one more book. *looks around* WHAT IS THIS!!!! *finds book called How to Keep Your Hair Greasy and Dandruffy by Aragorn* *tosses book* I better get back to Frodo…

Gandalf leaves and heads back to Frodo…

Gandalf: Frodo do you still have the ring?

Frodo: Yes…*gets ring out from pocket*

Gandalf: Good! Ok now I have a tale to tell you….*starts telling tale of rings of power then somehow sidetracks to loogies*

Gandalf: That is the tale.

Scracth outside of window…

Gandalf: Get down Frodo! *walks to window and picks up Sam Gamgee*

Gandalf: What have you heard Sam?

Sam: I only heard about the destuction of Middle-earth and a ring that could kill everyone and that a dark lord was rising again.

Gandalf: Oh is that all..at least you didn’t hear anything important like the loogie tale. But you better go with Frodo anyway… Head to Bree I will meet you there unless for some strange reason an old friend had become a traitor and imprisoned me on top of his tower and I was rescued by an eagle but……I should be there.

Gandalf leaves and Sam and Frodo start on their journey.

Frodo: Well let’s get going Sam.

They leave then run into Pippin and Merry and a couple of days they arrive to Bree…

Guard: Halt! Who goes there!

Frodo: I am Frodo Baggi-er…Underhill..

Guard: Come in.

They go inside and wait in the Prancing Pony…

Frodo: Tell Gandalf we have arrived.

Butterburr: Gandalf isn’t here.

Over to Gandalf….

Gandalf: Saruman, I am afraid I have found the one ring.

Saruman: I know that Gandalf! *shoots him with is staff*

Gandalf: Ahhhhh!!!

They start break fighting but since Saruman is white he beats Gandalf…

Saruman: *makes Gandalf float to the top of Orthanc*

Two hours later…

Gandalf: I am bored up here… I have an idea! I will practice my loogie skills on the orcs down below. *spits*

Orc: *spit lands on him* Hey! Who did that? *looks to orc laughing next to him* Why I otta *starts fighting orc*

Gandalf: Hey this is fun!!

But then a moth flies by..

Gandalf: Mister Moth go tell an eagle to save me.

Moth: Ok.

The moth flies away then a few mintues later an eagle flies by and picks up Gandalf and they fly to Rivendell..

Frodo: So Gandalf isn’t here…hmm…come on let’s go and wait for him..

Sam: Mr Frodo that guy over there has been staring at you the whole time we were here.

Frodo: Bartender who is that over there?

Bartender: That is….um….I think Jumper…..no….Hopper….No…wait…I know this one…..oh yeah Strider!

Frodo runs up to Pippin but is knocked down and ring flies up and just happens to land on his finger…Then he crawls to a corner and takes it off..then Strider comes and takes him and the hobbits to the other inn across the street and they wait..

Strider: We must wait till dawn to leave.

Frodo: Can’t we leave now.

Strider: No….*stares at Frodo more*

The ringwraiths go to their old rooms and stab the beds but it was only pillows and they Screech

Strider: That’s our cue..

They walk for days till they reach Weathertop…

Pippin: Merry let’s make a fire so the Ringwraiths will know where we are and can stab one of us and we almost die!

Merry: Ok!

They start a fire and the ringwraiths start to come..

Frodo: Fools!! The ringwraiths are coming!

Sam: Uh oh!

Strider: Hurry up here. *throws swords to each of them* Here!

Sam: *gets hit in the eye* Oww you throw bad!

Pippin: *gets hit in the leg* My leg!

Merry: *ducks* Woah!

Frodo: *sword goes straight to him* Hey thanks!

They run up and the ringwraiths come and they fight but Frodo is stabbed..

Frodo: OWWWW!!!!!!! I AM STABBED!!

The ringwraiths run and they head on…

Sam: Strider, Frodo is dying…

Strider: We will not let him die.

Just when all hope seemed lost for Frodo Arwen came…

Arwen: I will take him to Rivendell.

Strider: Ok *thinks to himself* as long as I don’t get hurt…

Arwen rides to Rivendell and Frodo is in bed…

*Frodo wakes up and sees Elrond.*

Elrond: *says some big words then leaves* *think to self* That day of looking words up in the dictionary was worth it! Now Frodo thinks I am actually smart!

Frodo: *goes back to sleep*

Three hours later…

Frodo: *wakes up again*

Gandalf: It is October 24, Wed., 2:30 and-

Frodo: October wold have worked.

Frodo is called to a secret council…

The Council of Elrond

Aragorn: *whispers* Pssst Elrond…Where is Arwen?

Elrond: I wouldn’t let her come *thinks to self* Mainly cause I am wearing her tiara and dress…

Elrond: People we are here about one thing. The most important thing ever.

Legolas: I want a big salad!

Gimli: Steak!

Aragorn: Chinese….er…Elvish!

Elrond: People people, settle down, we will choose the food in an orderly manner.

Legolas: SALAD SALAD!

Gimli: STEAK!

Elrond: We will get the order down just wait…

Elrond’s Helper: Ok that was Gimli and the steak…Legolas….and the salad….Aragorn…Elvish…..Gandalf what did you want?

Gandalf: Ummm…I am not hungry…

Frodo: Pizza!

Elrond’s Helper: Ok Frodo….pizza…

After they get the food ordered they start the council…

Elrond: Now back to the meeting.

Frodo: *looked around* *thought to self* Hmm…that lawn gnome looks a lot like Gollum….

Gandalf: AZOG NOZG JEZODFG!!

Frodo: Gandalf! Was that the Black Speech!!??

Gandalf: No I stol….. got this book about loogies and I am doing council loogies. One moment. *starts choking*

Legolas: Was that one?

Gandalf: No, I swallowed a bug!

Elrond: Gandalf, Tell me your story.

Gandalf: You want me to teach you loogie lessons!?!?

Elrond: No! The story about Saruman!

Gandalf: Of course…But I told Frodo my tale…Well…Saruman is in fact evil. You can tell because he has the pointy nails. I mean they were pointyyyyyy!! Wow!

Elrond: Yes Gandalf, thank you for that…..er….imformation.

Elrond: Ok now, who will carry the ring?

Gimli: I wouldn’t trust it in the hands of an elf!

Legolas: Oh yeah like a dwarf would be better!

Gimli: You nancing fairy!

Legolas: You smelly ground hog!

Gimli: At least our women don’t look so ugly!

Legolas: Oh yeah I am sure a beard is really attractive!

Gimli: *gasp* How dare you! You take that back!

Legolas: No! HAHAHA! *sticks out tongue*

Frodo: I WILL CARRY THE RING!

Everyone keeps fighting…

Frodo: I said I WILL!!!!!!!! CARRY!!!!!!!! THE RING!!!!!!!!

Gandalf: And I will guide you!

Aragorn: You have my sword

Legolas: And my shampoo…If I want to share it….well…er…no…you have my brush……well…not that either….you have my….well….I will just come and look pretty!!!

Gimli: And my axe.

Sam: I am coming too!

Elrond: Of course, Even when you aren’t invited to a secret council that changed it’s date twice because of you.

Merry and Pippin: And we are coming!

Elrond: It will be the nine companions. The Fellowship of the Ring!

Pippin: Great! Now where are we going?

The next day

Gimli: I am bored.

Legolas: Let’s have a talent show!

Gimli: OK!

So they got ready to perform on the stage…Elrond was the judge…

Gandalf: *spits loogies all over the place*

Elrond: Ewww! *dogdes loogies*

Gimli: *did a belly dance while singing row row row your boat*

Elrond: Interesting….next!

Pippin and Merry: *start eating*

Elrond: We all know you can eat! Next!

Boromir: *sings M&M song about Groovy M&Ms* You could win cash every summer for the rest of your life….

Elrond: Hmm…..next!

Sam: I am doing imatations…*does Legolas first* OHHHH I BROKE A NAIL!!! *does Gandalf* PEREGRIN TOOK!

Pippin: Hey that was pretty good!

Elrond: Next!

Aragorn: I am going to clean my hair!

Elrond: YAY!! Next!

Frodo: I am going to disappear! *puts on ring* *after a few mintues takes off ring*

Gandalf: Frodo I told you not to put it on!

Frodo: Oops!

Elrond: *yawn* Next!

Legolas: *starts singing* I’m a barbie elf in the barbie world. I’m made of plastic it’s fantastic. You can’t touch my hair or undress me anywhere. Imagination. Life is your creation.*does front flip* Im a blonde and an elf in the fantasy world. *does splits.* dress me up make me jive I’m your dolly. You can’t touch. You can play. If you say im always yours. Ooooo. I’m a barbie elf in the barbie world. *does backflip and takes off shirt*

Elrond: *claps enthusiasticly* Wow Legolas! What a performance! Now I must decide. hmmmmm………. *thinks to himself of course it is Legolas but I don’t want it to be too obvious* And the grandprize winner gets this lovely 20 pound basket of hair care products, a 15 pound bag of beauty products and this lovely trophy! and the winner is………..Legolas Greenleaf the Barbie Elf! *a topless Legolas walks on stage in tears*

Legolas: Wow! Well I would love to thank Aragorn’s support in keeping his hair dirty so I am pressed into keeping extremly clean and dandruff free hair of course! And I would love to thank Elrond for hosting this talent show that I have won. And I would like to thank Arwen for pushing myself to be even prettier than before! Thank you thank you all! *Legolas happily took the hair/face products and walked off stage smiling and crying*

The Fellowship decided to leave the next day…

Pippin: Gandalf I am hungry.

Gandalf: We already ate.

Merry: I am bored.

Boromir: Gandalf let’s rest here.

Gandalf: Fine!

So they stopped and rested…

Boromir: Merry and Pippin I will train you with your swords.

Pippin: Ok.

They start fighting but Merry gets hurt…

Merry: OWWWW!! GANDALF!!! BOROMIR HURT ME!!

Boromir: *mutters* Tattle tale…

Gandalf: Boromir go take a time out!

Boromir: But I don’t wanna.

Gandalf: MARCH MISTER!

Boromir: Fine!

Merry and Pippin exchange glances and laugh…

5 minutes later….

Gandalf: Are you ready to behave Boromir?

Boromir: Yes.

Gandalf: Ok let’s-

Legolas: CLOWNEYES! FROM FUNLAND!

Aragorn: HIDE!

Everyone hides till they leave…

Gandalf: Let’s get going now and hurry!

They arrive to the Misty Mountians and try to go over but some disagree…

Gimli: We could pass through the Mines of Moria!

Gandalf: I would never go through that creepy mine even if you dared me!

Gimli: I doubledar…. dumbledore you!

Dumbledore: *pops up*

Gimli: You are not in this movie! And anyway you are dead.

Dumbledore: *disappears and mutters something about stupid dwarves….*

Gimli: But we will never make it over.

Gandalf: We will try!

Gimli: How bout I wait here-

Gandalf: No!

Legolas: If he gets to wait I want to too!

Gandalf: EVERYONE IS COMING!!!

They decided they better listen to him and they climbed up…

Gimli: *throws snowball in Legolas’s hair* HAHA!

Legolas: *VERY MAD* DWARF YOU WILL PAY!!

Gimli: Uh Oh! *runs*

Legolas: *grabs icicle and uses it as an arrow* Eat this dwarf!

Gimli: Hey! That isn’t fair! *icicle goes right past him just barely missing him* HAHA! YOU MISSED! *then he gets his sleeves and pant legs stuck to the side of the mountian*

Legolas: Good bye Gimli!

They all leave him because no one saw him but Legolas…

Gandalf: AT least it isn’t that bad!

Right when he said that it seemed a blizzard started…

Gandalf: WE CAN’T GO ON! LET THE RINGBEARER DECIDE!

Frodo: *thinks to himself* Nice warm mines…..cold mountian top…..I choose the mines!

As they head down they see Gimli…still stuck…

Legolas: Hello Gimli! We have decided to go to the Mines of Moria do you want to come?

Gimli: *shakes head* Now get me down!

Legolas: *pulls out icicles* That should teach you not to touch my hair!

So they go to the Mines but are stuck because Gandalf can’t open the door…

Legolas: Gimli, women in the work force still aren’t getting much respect. I had this friend and right when she got her job her new boss asked can you make a good cup of coffee? She stormed right out of that Starbucks!

Gimli: Speaking of Starbucks, you know there are too many when you see one across the street from another! You stand there and face one Starbucks, you think….there can’t possibly be a Starbucks behind me…who would be that stupid….then you turn around slowly expecting to see a D.Q. or something and there it is a Starbucks!

Frodo: Gandalf, what is the word for friend in Elvish?

Gandalf: Umm….gellin’ like a fellin’ no umm tellin’ no….ah yes..mellon!

Door Opens…

Watcher grabs Frodo…

Everyone keeps going…

Frodo: HELP!!!

Legolas: *shoots arrows*

Watcher: OW!! Here! Take the hobbit!

Aragorn: *chops tentacle off*

Watcher: *drops Frodo* Just leave me alone!!! *cries*

They walk inside…

Legolas: This is terrible!

Aragorn: What is it?

Legolas: I can’t believe it!!!

Aragorn What!

Legolas: THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER!!!

Aragorn: WHAT IS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Legolas: I can’t use my mirror in this darkness to fix my hair!!!

Aragorn: …………

Gandalf: Come on you two.

They seemed to walk for hours until Gandalf did not remember which way to go…

Gandalf: I seem to not remember which way it is.

Legolas: *whispers* It seems when you get old the first thing to go is your memory.

Gimli: *whispers* Yeah. *they snicker*

Gandalf: Ah yes! It is this way!

They went and then they came to a tomb…

Gandalf: *looks around* Hmmm… *picks up old book* It is entitled Balin’s Diary… *thinks to self* The Loogie book was better….This is what it reads…

Balin’s Diary

Day 1: I was so bored I went to the Gap of Rohan and bought a very stylish diary! Go me!

Day 2: Decided to throw party! Everyone is invited! Except the Balrog.

Day3: Everyone has arrived! Started out party when Durin did a belly dance! He is good at it! Then Fili arrived. He said he fashionably late. Yeah right! How do you be fashionably late when your outfit is 500 years old! EWWW!!!

Day 4:-

Gimli: Skip to the end!

Legolas: I like it!

Gandalf: Fine.

Day 50: Orcs came and started attacking! I ran in hid in my future tomb room.

Day 52: Our food supplies are low. I hear drums. They are coming!

Day 53: They are attacking the door. DRUM DRUM DRUM! I offered them free make overs but they didn’t accept it! They are comin-

Gandalf: That was it.

Pippin: Watch me make a fool out of my self, Merry and knock this dead skeleton in the well and make lots of noise!

BANG!!!!!!!

Gandalf: Fool!

Pippin: Told ya!

DRUM DRUM DRUM!

Gandalf: They are coming. *puts down book*

Legolas: *sneaks over and hides book in pocket* Yes!

Orcs are attacking the door…

Legolas: Do you want a make over!?

Orcs: NO!!!

Gimli: Why did you even try that?

Legolas: It was worth a try!

Orcs break through the door and they fight! After awhile a troll comes in when it is finally killed they run…

Gandalf: RUN!!

They run down and around and around and down…

Legolas: Are we there yet?

Gandalf: Almost.

Then they reach a bridge and they all run over as Gandalf holds up the rear, at the end of a bridge is a long line for a Moria gift shop…

Gandalf: *gets and waits in line*

Balrog: *comes up behind Gandalf and tries to cut*

Gandalf: Hey! No cutting!

Balrog: *Tries to pass again*

Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT!!!!!!!!!!! PASS!!!!!!!!!!

Gandalf breaks the bridge and they both fall in…

The Fellowship all run out in sad and some are crying…

Pippin and Merry: *crying* I miss Gandalf!

Frodo: *walks away to be alone…*

Sam: *follows Frodo*

Legolas: *thinks to self* YES!! PERFECT!! Now I get to use my sad face!!!! *looks sad*

They are all sad and they rest for a few minutes…

Legolas: Hmmmm… *gets an idea* *starts singing* I’m a barbie girl in the barbie world. I’m made of plastic it’s fantastic. You can’t touch my hair or undress me anywhere. Imagination. Life is your creation. *does back flip*

Aragorn: Ok enough Legolas. Let’s go!

They all leave a little happier thanks to Legolas for cheering them slighty up…they run all the way to Lothlorien…

Aragorn: This is Lothlorien…

Gimli: They say there is an Elf Witch in these woods.

Legolas: Elf Witch?

Gimli: Yes, Elf Witch!

Legolas: Riiiiiight.

Gimli: They also say there are giant man/elf/dwarf/hobbit eating mushrooms.

Legolas: Who tells you these things!?!?

Frodo: *looking around very scared*

Sam: Mr. Frodo are you all right?

Frodo: Does it look like I am all right?

Before Sam could reply Haldir and some Elves popped down from no where…

Haldir: *in Elvish* Welcome to Lothlorien…when you enter you can not leave.

Legolas: *in Elvish* I guess you don’t get many visitors then.

Aragorn: *in Elvish* So Haldir what have you been doing?

Haldir: *in Elvish* I just got my nails done.

Legolas: *in Elvish* From where?

Haldir: *in Elvish* The Iron Mountians.

Aragorn: *in Elvish* I heard they do miracles there.

Legolas: *in Elvish* I have been meaning to get my nails done…

Aragorn: *in Elvish* Anyway could we stay here?

Haldir: *in Elvish* Why not.

They go deeper in the woods when they try to make Gimli where a blindfold…

Gimli: I am not wearing a blindfold!

Legolas: Oh just put it on you gnome!

Gimli: How dare you! I otta-

Legolas: You otta what? *pulls out bow*

Gimli: Ok fine.

They are almost there when they talk…

Legolas: Aragorn, Do you think Gimli is still mad at me?

Aragorn: Let’s just say if I were you I wouldn’t walk in front of him in a dark alley.

Then they enter Lothlorien…

Gimli: Are we there yet?

Pippin: Almost…*winks to Merry*

Merry: Gimli! Make a right!

Gimli: *turns and hits a tree* Owww!

Pippin: Left left!!

Gimli: *turns and falls in a small brook* Hey!! *takes off blindfold* Why you!!!*chases Pippin and Merry*

Legolas: Do they realize how foolish they look? *as he speaks he puts on a face mask made out of old mushrooms and lembas*

Aragorn: I guess not. *snickers* They say the really foolish people never know how foolish they really are.

The next day…

Legolas: Move over!

Gimli: This is my spot!

Boromir: Whose buying the popcorn?

Aragorn: I will go get it. Now everyone hand in your share.

Legolas: I don’t seem to have any change with me…

Aragorn: We will need more then all our ones.

Gimli: This looks like a job for….A TWENTY!!! *pulls out twenty*

Galdariel: What are you guys doing in my hot tu-er…..mirror?

Legolas: Mirror? Looked like a hot tub to me!

Galdriel: Just get out!

The 4 members sadly left the hot tub “mirror” and go back to the pavilion…

Legolas: We will go back….later…

In the dead of night they sneak back to the hot tub running from tree to tree dodging the elves and the other companions…

Gimli: Ok, Legolas you swing around the east side, Aragorn you take the west and Boromir will take the south and I will go north and double back to throw off any followers-

Legolas: Gimli, The hot tub is right in front of us.

Gimli: Oh…

They finally reach the hot tub and they get in and talk…

Legolas: *has had a change of heart* I guess you can have some of my precious strawberry bubbles *he gives them each a pennysize* There!

Legolas: YRCH!!!!

Aragorn: Orcs?!?!?

They all scramble out of the hot tub and run but Legolas lags behind and when they are out of site he sneaks back and uses the tub for himself…

The next day…

Aragorn: What ever happened to the orcs Legolas?

Legolas: Uhhh…

Gimli: And where did you go?

Legolas: Uhhh…

Boromir: And why does your hair smell so good…

Legolas: I stayed back and fought the orcs…..and they were wearing perfume…?

Gimli: Oh, ok as long as you didn’t sneak back to the hot tub…

The next day…

Legolas: Aragorn, did you know that Galadriel has tons of old toys but won’t let anyone play with them?

Aragorn: I have an idea.

They go over to Galadriel’s and have a feast and give her a ton of wine that makes you drowsy…

Legolas: Anymore wine Galadriel?

Galadriel: Why thank you. *falls asleep*

Legolas: Yes ! * starts playing with barbie elves.*

The next day….

Gimli: You made Galadriel fall asleep so you could play with her toys?

Legolas: Yeah.

Gimli: That is so immature.

Legolas: There is a Dwarf Bake Oven…..

One hour later……

The sound of a timer dinging goes off….

Gimli: Who wants muffins!

Aragorn: I do!

Legolas: You know that mix is over 50 years old?

Aragorn eats it anyways

The next day………

Aragorn: I guess it is time to go.

Galdariel: I was going to use my Dwarf Bake Oven but the mix is gone…

Legolas: uhhhh, Gifts!

Galadriel: Ah, yes let us give you gifts.

She hands Aragorn a a shinging golden sheath

Legolas a beautiful new bow and some arrows

Merry and Pippin new shiny golden swords

Sam a box with magic powder in it

Sam: I am so misunderstood!!! *runs off*

She hands Boromir a magnificiant golden belt

Frodo a crystal phial

Galdariel: And what would an Elf give a Dwarf?

Gimli: Well I would like one hair from your golden head…

Galdriel: *thinks to self* Is that all!? I will give you three.

She gives them food and boats and they leave…

Frodo: Aragorn are we there yet?

Aragorn: No!

Sam: Are you sure?

Aragorn: Yes!

Frodo: Sam what should we do?

Sam: Let’s sing a song! 1000 bottles of ale on the wall, 1000 bottles of ale! OOOOO You take one down pass it around 999 bottles of ale on the wall……*they go on and on until they are around 100 when Aragorn interupts*

Aragorn: Please be QUIET!!!

Frodo: No!

Aragorn: Yes!

Frodo: Why?

Aragorn: Because I said so!!

Sam: That’s not a reason!

Frodo: What number were we on?

Sam: I don’t remember. Let’s just start over!

Frodo: Ok! 1000 bottles of ale on the wall, 1000 bottles of ale! OOOOO You take one down pass it around 999 bottles of ale on the wall……

Over to Legolas’s and Gimli’s boat…

Legolas: Elves are WAAAAAAAY better than Dwarves!

Gimli: Yeah right!

Legolas: At least we are immortal!

Gimli: Well we don’t where dresses!

Legolas: At least our women don’t have beards!

Gimli: How dare you!

Legolas: HAHA!! *sticks out tongue*

They continue arguing….over in Pippin, Merry and Boromir’s boat…

Pippin: Boromir, I am hungry!

Boromir: We already ate!

Merry: Look how much fun Frodo and Sam are having! We want to go over there.

Boromir: Just stay here!

Pippin: I am STILL hungry!

Boromir: WE ALREADY ATE!!

Pippin: But I AM HUNGRY!!

Merry: Me too!!

Boromir: BE QUIET!!!

Merry: Your mean!

Pippin: Yeah! But I am still-

Boromir: If you say you are hungry one more time…..POW!

Pippin: *sticks out tongue*

They ride on like that till Aragorn and Boromir explode…

Aragorn and Boromir: BE QUIET!!!!!!!!!

Everyone decided to listen to them…

They rode down the river for a while till they stopped for the night…

Legolas: WHERE IS MY LIMITED EDITION, VINTAGE, STRAWBERRY SCENTED BUBBLE BATH SOAP!?!?!?

Gimli and Boromir: *snicker to themselves*

Boromir: Legolas, I saw you drop it in the river……………..

Legolas: OH NO!!! *dives into the river and is in there for hours until* FOUND IT! *holds up a muddy but yet pinkish bubble bottle*

Gimli and Boromir: *both of their jaws drop in shock*

Legolas: Thank you Boromir. And for that you can use some….well….you can look at it.

Gimli: *whispers to Boromir* I thought you took care of that.

Boromir: *whispers back* I dropped it in about 20 miles back I guess the current took it down.

Gimli: *whispers* Do you think Legolas swam 20 miles up!?

Legolas: It only took me about ooooh somewhere to 20 miles up the river.

After that….incident….they went to sleep…

That morning they needed to decide where to go….so Frodo left to go and decide….

Aragorn: Where are you going Frodo?

Frodo: I am going to decide where to go…

Frodo runs off…

Boromir: Wait Frodo I was just about to take the rin- errr- wait!

Runs off too…

Boromir: Frodo please let me take the ring!

Frodo: No! *sticks out tongue and puts on ring*

Boromir: Errr that smelly, dirty, ugly, fat hobbit, I will take the ring when he reappears-

Frodo: I heard every word you just said.

Boromir: Errr- ummm Frodo wait I am sorry…

But Frodo had already left…

Aragorn: Frodo has been gone an awfully long time…

Legolas: Let’s go look for him then.

Aragorn: Sam and I will go this way, Legolas, you and Gimli go that way. ….and Merry, Pippin and Boromir will go that way.

Everyone goes there way except Legolas and Gimli…

Legolas: It says here if you want the best tan we should flip 45 degrees.

Gimli: Ok *they both flip*

Legolas: Think we should go and find them?

Gimli: I guess.

Legolas:…….Am I moving yet?

Gimli: No.

But before they could say anything else they heard the Horn of Gondor….then uruk-hai jumped out from the bushes and Legolas and Gimli jumped to their feet and fought them…

Aragorn: That is the Horn of Gondor! I will use every ounce of strength I have in my body to save Boromi- Hey! A penny! Find a penny pick it up and all day you have good luck!

Sam: We will never find Frodo this way…..*runs back to boats*

Over to Boromir…

Boromir: Run Hobbits!!*is being attcked my uruk-hai*

Merry: To where?

Boromir: ANYWHERE!*more uruk-hai appear*

Pippin: You don’t have to yell.*both of them run….but are captured by uruk-hai…*

Over to Aragorn…

Aragorn: *sits down and examines penny* I will name you Phillip!

Just then twenty uruk-hai popped out of no where…

Aragorn: *jumps to feet and starts fighting*

Aragorn: *is hacking and slashing at them but “Phillip” falls from his hand*

Uruk-Hai: Hey a penny! *picks up penny*

Aragorn: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Before he could reach them they heard a call and ran off…

Aragorn ran after them and found Legolas and Gimli very sad…

Gimli: He was a good man.

Legolas: It couldn’t have been prevented.

Aragorn: I miss Phillip also.

Legolas: Phillip!? Boromir was killed!*finds an interest in his nails*

But Aragorn was digging a hole…

Aragorn: There we go!

Gimli: That isn’t big enough for Boromir!

Aragorn: Boromir? This is for Phillip! Boromir died? I will make a grave for both of them.

Gimli: No time. Let’s carelessly put him in a boat, and throw pointy objects on him and push him down a river.

Legolas: Ok.

After they do that they decide to go and save the hobbits…..and Phillip…