I found myself wanting his touch so badly that it pained me to think of him touching anyone else.

Dreaming of his arms wrapped around my waist, his warm hands pressed against the small of my back. Fantasizing about his lips brushing my forehead as my face lies nuzzled in the perfect curves of his graceful neck; it was almost too much for me to bear. I shook violently as a concerned hand rested upon my shoulder.

“Gynlin, are you alright?”

The sound of my name being murmured was enough to bring me back from my trance. I had been doing it again, letting my mind wonder to places that I knew would never exist. I didn’t understand why I allowed such things to be thought about, it tortured me enough to even see him. His face so beautifully carved from the centuries of love, hate and emotions that my feeble human mind was incapable of comprehending. I wanted to understand, I wanted to know what it was like for him to witness such things. I wanted to know why he looked as though the world of Middle Earth was weighing so heavy on his shoulders and I wanted to be the one to lift that weight. I wanted to love him. I wanted his love in return.

“Gynlin!”

“Yes, I’m fine.” I muttered, getting up from my seat in the carved stone chair. Once again marveled by its creators, captivated by the gentle swirls chiseled into the rock with such care, such precision. Again, another thing human hands were never able to replicate. I looked at mine, thinking how my hands weren’t worthy of touching such beauty. Much like I was never meant to touch him.

“You don’t look like you’re fine. You face looks like someone’s ripped your very heart out of your chest! How can you lie to me like this? To your best friend?!”

I smiled at Melidoy’s mock self-pity and found that it was the first time that I had smiled in what seemed like years. It felt good. It felt wonderful to be happy again, even momentarily. My friend’s eyes twinkled under the brightly lit canopy, no doubt pleased to see I had crawled out from underneath the rock I had been hiding. But soon my happiness was replaced with despair. I was mourning for a love I never had to lose. Oh, how I desperately wanted it. Even if it were a doomed love, I wanted to experience it more than I had ever wanted anything before.

Melidoy frowned at me, her forehead wrinkled in an annoyed scowl. “Its him, isn’t it? You’ve been thinking about that elf again!”

I stared at her. I could feel the backs of my ears burning hot with embarrassment and my eyes filling with tears. The salty wetness stung them. I shook my head and quickly swiped them away, trying to not catch Melidoy’s grimace.

“Good grief, Gyn! This is ridiculous!”

“Don’t call him ‘that elf’, Mel.” I sniffed.

“Oh, excuse me. Lord Elrond, then.” She scoffed, slapping her hands on her knees and getting to her feet. “You can’t keep going on like this. I hate seeing you so depressed all the time. Its not meant to be, Gyn. An elf and a human just aren’t meant to be.” She smiled, placing her hands on my shoulders.

“What about Aragorn and Arwen?”

She blinked at me, her mouth hanging open. Her face reddened with frustration but she managed to remain calm. “They’re royalty. They can do what they want. We’ve had this discussion before and to be frank I’m growing quite weary of it! Its tiring, really! I’m so bored with always being the voice of reason in this friendship!”

I sighed and attempted to run my hands through my long hair. A feat in which proved difficult due to the knots and tangles it acquired during the long journey to Rivendell. Once again my mind wandered back to him, wishing it was his hair I was running my fingers through.

“Not that I blame you.” Melidoy interrupted my thoughts. “Look at him. He’s quite a sight to behold. That dark flowing hair, the mysterious gray eyes, the perfect skin. And a body to die for! What’s he got hiding under those robes, I wonder!” She grinned, elbowing me in the side in a playful manner.

“Stop that.” I hissed. “Have some respect! We’re in his house.”

“Oh, do come down off that stage, Gyn! The only reason we are here is because the man you are supposed to marry come next week was summoned by your obsession! No wonder you dropped all your duties and insisted on tagging along.” She snorted.

I raised an eyebrow. “What is your excuse then?”

“Come now! You expected me to let you have all the fun?! Don’t be silly, girl.” She laughed when I rolled my eyes. “Now, I demand we join in the celebration and dance. If you can’t have an elf at least you can dance with one! I hear you’ve never partied until you’ve done it with the likes of magic folk!”

Before I could resist I was spirited away to the stone courtyard, tossed amongst the various elves, humans and dwarves in our group. The warm night air was filled with the joyful sounds of a party. Everyone seemed truly happy, enjoying the breeze, the exquisite elfish music, food and drink.

I could’ve used one at that point…

Melidoy quickly grabbed the first elf she came to and was instantly lost in the dizzying circles of the fast dance. The sound of laughter filled my ears, flooding my heart to the point of bursting. I had to leave, I had to be alone. Free to wander to the part in my mind where I could rightfully say that I was happy. To that place where Elrond loved me and I was allowed to love him back.

I felt the closing, choking sensation in my throat.
I felt the tears again.
I needed him.

I found myself running from the courtyard, momentarily catching the worried looks of the party goers. Melidoy called out my name, still clutched in the elf’s hold, ready to return to the spinning across the room at any given moment. My betrothed stopped his deep conversation with a dwarf and stared at me. I couldn’t return his gaze. As I passed Elrond his face turned towards mine. He quickly got to his feet and stood beside his fine chair, squinting in intense surprise. Our eyes met for just a fraction of a second but in my mind it lasted forever. It caused me to shiver, to break the trance.

And then the moment was gone.

I closed my eyes and ran harder and faster than I ever had before. Tears of extreme distraught ran down my cheeks and splattered on the delicate elven material of the dress given to me as a gift. Blindly, I ran out onto one of the magnificent balconies, stopping only when I had reached the edge and gasped as I leaned over the railing and stared into the darkness below. The sound of the river drained out the then low murmur coming from the courtyard.

I ran a trembling hand across my eyes. My face was slick with tears. It was then I noticed the spiraling staircase leading down into a small clearing on the river’s edge. Fireflies blinked on and off in the darkness, their reflections silently danced on the water’s surface. It was so beautiful, so peaceful that I had almost forgotten what I was so troubled by.

For just a moment I remembered there was life beyond what I saw in his eyes.

My hand rested on the marble railing. I looked down, terrified that I could not see any farther than a few steps. But something called to me. I needed to go down the stairs. I needed to be at the water’s edge. I needed to be under the stars and away from the bustle of celebration. With each unsure step down I came closer and closer to my freedom, closer to peace. I stopped only to remove my delicate shoes. The cool rock underneath my naked feet cause a smile to adorn my tired face, moving faster just to feel the soft grass.

Finally reaching the bottom, I teetered on the last step, waiting for the perfect moment for me to touch the earth. The grass felt wonderful. I lifted the long dress, bundling it in my hands and dashed for the river. My feet splashed in the surprisingly warm water. I fell to my knees, letting the water rush over me, wanting to wash away any thought of him and yet wanting to hold onto it with all my might.

“My eyes have seen many battles. But I have never seen one battle with themselves as I have seen you do this evening.” A soft, velvety voice broke the silence. I opened my eyes, startled to see the very object of my torment standing before me. His gray eyes seemed to glow like the fireflies that flitted about the water, like silver stars against the night sky. His dark robes touched the water, floating on it like leaves do the air. A small and strange smile grew across his lips when the pain in my eyes lifted at the very sight of him.

“I have been told by many that I am an excellent listener.”

I couldn’t help but smile, despite the continually falling tears. ” I fear this is a problem that even you would be unable to fix, Lord Elrond.” I sighed, climbing to my feet. Elrond moved ever so slightly to take my hand and helped me out of the water. So taken back by his small gesture, I sucked in my breath and held it until I no longer felt his touch. Yet his warmth still lingered on my fingers. His touch was as light as that of a butterfly’s kiss but I felt it deep in my bones. It grasped my heart and held it in its iron clutch. I found myself helpless against such power. I lowered my head, my hands covered my face and again I wept. Mel was right! I thought to myself. I AM just a silly girl!

“Please, it troubles me to see you so distressed, Gynlin! What is it that hurts you so?” Again I felt his touch as his hands closed around my shoulders. I shuddered under his warmth again. So brave was I when my hand slowly reached up and held his. Our fingers intertwined. I dared to lift my head and meet his stare. His amazing eyes were wide in wonder.

“Tell me, Gyn. Do not fear to talk to me.”

I swallowed hard, squeezing his hand, feeling his hold on mine tighten as well. It felt as if my heart would surely burst from my chest were it to beat any faster.

“I am torn…” I started, I choked the words back, fighting so desperately to gain control of my shaking voice. “What does one do when their heart demands so much but it is their mind who remains rational? I cannot decide if I should obey what my mind says to keep others in happiness or if I should seek what my heart yearns for only to be disappointed in the end. I fear I cannot make this choice but if I don’t it will continue to feed the sorrowful state that I am in right now. That is a burden that I am unable to bear.”

Elrond’s free hand lifted from my shoulder and cupped my chin. I couldn’t control the shaking anymore. I let out a small helpless cry and fell into his arms. His strength immediately enveloped me, cradling my shivering body against his.

“You have a good man. A man who has taken the vow to treasure you always. What is it your heart demands that it doesn’t already own?” Elrond whispered into my ear. I could feel his warm breath on my neck. My hands groped at the soft material of his robe. I shook again, frantically trying to control the hunger for him that burned inside of me like a raging fire.

I turned my face so it was rested against his neck. His soft skin felt like heaven to me. “Yes, he is a good man. Such a good man he is that he battled long and hard along side so many others to protect Middle Earth. Such a good man that he promised me that he’d die before I’d ever feel the pain of being alone. He is such a good man that if I were to be true to my heart…” I stopped, lifting my head from his neck and staring into his eyes. Our faces within just inches of each other’s. “…I would be betraying his trust, his devotion to me and our soon to be marriage. It would break his soul. It would destroy the spirit that makes him such a good man. I cannot bring that down upon him. I cannot admit to what has torturing me for so long now! I cannot be true to myself and say…” My voice trailed off.

“What? What is it you can’t admit to?” Elrond pleaded, his hold around my waist tightened.

My bottom lip trembled. I had never been so terrified and so overwhelmed with emotion before. I wanted so badly to tell him, to continue to feel his body against mine. I feared that if I waited too long the moment would be gone and my chance would be lost.

“I cannot be true to myself and say that you are the one my heart belongs to. That yours is the touch that makes my skin quiver in rapture. That your gaze is the one I longed for…” I lowered my head and quickly covered my mouth, mortified that I had finally released what built up tension that mere words would allow to escape. I squeezed my eyes shut in despair when I felt his hold on my waist loosen. I shook my head and started to back away from his body when I suddenly felt his hands caress my face. My eyes opened to find his staring back, his lips revealed such a sweet smile that it was unbearable to resist them.

“Nai hiruvalye mel.” Elrond whispered, his mouth brushing against mine with each word. I closed my eyes, reaching up around the back of his neck and finding his hair. I ran my hands through it, feeling each silky strand tickling my fingertips. I could control myself no longer. My body fell limp against him as his arms once again wrapped around my waist, his hands pressed firmly against my back. My lips parted and were met with his. The waters swirling around our feet, the soft song of the evening breeze and the hum of celebration no longer existed. Our worlds were united, forever bonded with just a kiss. I found it hard to stand, hard to breathe, hard to even believe that it was happening.

I finally had the love of the astonishing creature that I had been seeking for so long. Elrond’s words would ring in my ears for the rest of my human life. For I had found love, an immortal love that would remain strong until the end of time.