Title: No Longer
Author: Mythical Rhythm
Pairings: Erestor/Glorfindel
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Glorfindel is tormented by nightmares, triggered by thunderstorms, reliving his death. Erestor tries to help his friend.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Professor Tolkien. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this story!
Warning: AU
Beta read by slayer9649
All remaining mistakes are mine.
Feedback: yes, please

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With a sigh Erestor accepted the stack of papers that still needed to be signed and posted before tomorrow morning. With Elrond in Lothlórien and not expected back for a few days yet, the task of signing the trade agreements fell to him. The weather outside mirrored his thoughts, it was storming, thunder and lightning chasing each other in the sky. The rain was pouring against the windows, cold drafts were roaring down the chimneys, making everyone shiver. Another sigh. Shaking his head he turned towards the clock, almost midnight. Almost everyone was free of duties at this time of the night, able to relax with a glass of wine in front of the fireplace. Erestor looked wistfully around his study. Reaching for the next paper he stopped when he heard a chilling scream.

Glorfindel.

With a grimace he got up from his chair and poured himself a glass of wine. Glorfindel had always had trouble with thunderstorms. He had never known what exactly the problem was, for Glorfindel, though kind and generous, could be very prideful. Only Elrond had been admitted into his rooms during such times. Others had tried but never succeeded. Shivering, he turned to look out of the window. The wind was blowing the rain so hard against it that he was barely able to see through it. As lightning graced the sky once more, yet another scream echoed through the Last Homely House. Frowning, Erestor wondered what was taking Elrond so long. Looking back at the stack of papers, he cursed.

Wine glass dropping forgotten on the floor, he ran out of his study. Those who had not yet turned to their beds looked up in surprise to see Elrond’s normally stern and calm Chief Councilor flying down the halls.

Gasping, he arrived at Glorfindel’s rooms. Raising his hand to knock, he called out.

“Glorfindel!” With no sounds coming forth except for the rumbling sky, he tried again.

“Please answer me, Glorfindel!” Still nothing.

Groaning in frustration, he carefully opened the door. Peeking around the corner he found that Glorfindel was nowhere in sight. Opening the door further he stepped inside. It was completely dark, apart from the lightning occasionally lighting the room. Never having been in Glorfindel’s rooms before, Erestor recognized it as a study. Moving towards what he supposed was Glorfindel’s bedroom, he hesitated. He was about to violate someone’s privacy, and it did not sit well with him, but then again, was he to leave Glorfindel to his torment? No, he decided, he had been alone himself far too often. Silently he entered the room, which was indeed the bedroom. With a puzzled expression he searched the room; chairs had been thrown around, the bed was a mess, but still no Glorfindel. Wearily he moved around, stopping when he heard a whimper. “Glorfindel, my friend?”

Glancing around his eyes finally came to rest on the closet. Muffled whimpers and sobs seemed to come from within.

With a shaking hand Erestor opened the closet door. Tunics and robes met his gaze and finally at the back, Glorfindel. Had the situation been different Erestor would have found it very amusing that the proud Balrog-slayer was hiding in a closet. However, seeing Glorfindel’s face, white with terror and anguish showing in his eyes his eyes, made him swallow.
Hard.

He had no idea of what he should do now that he had found Glorfindel. All kinds of scenarios had played in his mind during the mad run to Glorfindel’s rooms and yet none of them had prepared him for this. His golden friend, reduced to a whimpering mess.

As Glorfindel stared back at him he began to wish Elrond was there with him, he would have known what to do. Outside it still hadn’t stopped storming and as Glorfindel caught sight of a flash of lightning he cowered and screamed with a raw and haunted voice. Erestor watched with panic mounting in his chest and did the only thing that came to his mind; he stepped into the closet and closed the doors.

It was dark and the only thing Erestor could see was the light glow of Glorfindel’s eyes. When Glorfindel started backwards he wondered if he had made the right decision, at least his screaming had been reduced to whimpering. Not that that was any better.

“Glorfindel?” Erestor reached out his hand. Glorfindel jerked back as though scalded.

“Please…it burns…leave me alone!” he cried, folding his arms around himself. Though he could no longer see the lightning and thunder, he could still hear it.

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He moved, his back hitting the side of the mountain. A whip, cracking at his shoulder. Gasping, he moved away from the heat. As the beast roared and reached out with its claw, he cried out. He could endure this no longer. The fire and shadow, as he remembered it, were too real. He could no longer recognize friend from foe as his memories pulled him further into delirium. For ages he had been fighting the demon, partially with the help of Elrond, but never succeeding to make it vanish forever.

Being shaken from his thoughts as the beast approached Glorfindel gave it all he had. Blocking the blows, he screamed, realizing that he was once more being pulled to his death. His body leaving the mountain, he noticed that instead of burning, everything was cool. Then, everything went black.

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Erestor glanced in surprise at his hand. Glorfindel now lay unconscious in his lap after he had knocked him out. Glorfindel had seemed possessed, warding off every attempt at comfort. Everything he tried seemed to make it worse, even to the point of Glorfindel hitting him in the head. Erestor’s hand had apparently realized what his mind had not, Glorfindel needed to be stopped. Clutching his head, Erestor groaned softly. With Glorfindel’s heavy weight now lying on his legs, he began to notice that the closet was very uncomfortable. He wished he could get someone to help him, but then he would have to leave Glorfindel on his own and he wasn’t about to do that.

Sighing, he resigned himself to a restless night as he pulled Glorfindel up so his head was resting against his chest. His hand skimmed over his friend’s handsome features, the strong chin, momentarily lingering on the full pale lips, then continued upwards, the straight nose, wing like eyebrows and finally he raised his hand to tangle in the golden tresses, now damp with sweat. While stroking his hair, Glorfindel snuggled closer to him, completely trusting his friend.

Erestor thought back on the last time he had held his friend like this. It had been back in Gondolin. The city had already fallen and the eagles had brought Glorfindel’s burnt and dead body back from the abyss. Erestor had broken down upon seeing his friend, bereft of life so precious. He had cradled the body to his chest, wailing and screaming for the Valar to return his friend. They had returned him, but at a great price. Though Glorfindel had never told him, Erestor knew he remembered his death. And he himself knew what it was like to be reminded time and time again. He knew what it felt like to wake up every morning and find an empty bed.

Shaking his head and pulling Glorfindel closer, he slowly felt himself start to nod off.

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Stretching slowly, Glorfindel yawned. His eyes clearing, he took in his surroundings. He found what had awoken him. Glaring light filtered through from under the closet doors, and he buried his head in the softness behind him. As if being plunged into a bucket of ice cold water, he sat straight up. He had never slept straight through after such a night.

Now hesitant to turn around and face what ever was behind him, he willed himself to remember as much as he could of the past night.

It had started with the storm, it had made him remember. With Elrond not around he had tried to keep himself sane for as long as possible. He knew people thought him strong and brave, but as he had found out, he was not invincible. He also knew he had given up, so why was he still here?

Seeking answers, he turned around. To say he was surprised was an understatement. He stared into Erestor’s dark eyes which were glazed over in sleep.

“Erestor…” he murmured, not knowing why, except that he liked the sound of it.

The cold advisor stirred, yet did not wake. Glorfindel grinned. Having found the answer he turned around a bit more to observe his unexpected saviour.

Erestor looked tired, though at peace. The night must have been very uncomfortable for him, Glorfindel realised guiltily. Making up his mind he carefully opened the closet doors and stepped out, with a lot of difficulty, into the room. Bending over, he took Erestor into his arms and carried him over to the messy bed. Taking a moment to appreciate the beauty he took off Erestor’s outer robes and shoes. Slipping him under the covers, Glorfindel joined him a moment later. Snuggling close once more he gripped Erestor tight, contently falling into reverie.

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An hour later Erestor awoke, in bed, not alone, and with a happy heart.

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Fin.