Sung to the tune of “American Pie” by Don MacLean.
Any similarities between this song, and Weird Al Yankovic’s song “The Saga Begins” are purely intentional.

A long long time ago
I can still remember how that chapter used to make me glad
Strider moving along with stealth
Heard bells on the horse of that fair elf
And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

But December nineteenth made me shiver
Peter Jackson did not deliver
Bad news in the forest
Of all Peter’s cuts, the poorest.

I can’t remember if I cried
Although Asfaloth is still the ride
But something touched me deep inside
The day Glorfindel died

So bye-bye, my poor Glorfindel guy,
Rode his horse-y on his course-y
But that course was a lie
And that old Arwen said “Hey Glori, bye-bye!”
I’m singin’ Glorfindel can never die,
Glorfindel can never die.

Tolkien wrote the Flight to Ford
And he did not give Arwen a sword.
Male elves are great you know!
Didn’t Glori help with Frodo’s pain?
Although his part might not be main,
I’ll only see him in the book again.

You may say I’m obsessed with him,
But without him things would’ve been so grim
He was with them for three days:
He kept Frodo out of his haze!

They were a lonely little group of five
But with our Glorfindel, Frodo’s still alive.
In the movie Pete did us deprive.
Of our Glorfindel guy.

I started singin’
Bye-bye, my poor Glorfindel guy,
Rode his horse-y on his course-y
But that course was a lie
And that old Arwen said “Hey Glori, bye-bye!”
I’m singin’ Glorfindel can never die,
Glorfindel can never die.

Now if those five had been on their own,
Frodo would’ve been dead as a stone.
But that’s not how it’s supposed to be
While the elf-lord pondered Frodo’s hurt
Asfaloth made Riders eat the dirt.
And the cheers did come from you and me.

Oh, and while the horse was runnin’ fast,
Glorfindel stood strong till the last.
Frodo had crossed the Ford
Thanks to the great elf-lord.
And while Jackson read a script so cut,
He thought Tolkien was in a rut.
And we sang dirges in a hut
The day Glorfindel died

We were singing
Bye-bye, my poor Glorfindel guy,
Rode his horse-y on his course-y
But that course was a lie
And that old Arwen said “Hey Glori, bye-bye!”
I’m singin’ Glorfindel can never die,
Glorfindel can never die.

Helter-skelter horsey ran for shelter,
When Arwen comes out I want to belt her.
She is no normal elven lass.
But dear Glori could kick her ass
He’s a gentleman, he let it pass.
But now Glorfindel’s just a thing of the past.

Now the council time, his shining hour,
He debated about the Ring’s power.
He said we have one choice,
In that wonderful elven voice!
And Erestor is now also gone,
And Galdor too, they’re up for pawn
At least he kept our old Elrond,
The day Glorfindel died

We started singin’
Bye-bye, my poor Glorfindel guy,
Rode his horse-y on his course-y
But that course was a lie.
And that old Arwen said “Hey Glori, bye-bye!”
I’m singin’ Glorfindel can never die,
Glorfindel can never die.

Oh, and there they were all in one place,
Sat in a circle, face to face
With no time left to start again
So come on, tell your news tell it quick,
Glorfindel’s time, it starts to tick.
Sometimes I think I’m Glori’s only friend.

Oh, and as I missed him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
When Arwen showed up there,
I almost tore my hair!
And as the movie went into the night
I thought about poor Glori’s plight
I won’t let this go without a fight,
My dear Glorfindel died.

I was singin’
Bye-bye, my poor Glorfindel guy,
Rode his horse-y on his course-y
But that course was a lie
And that old Arwen said “Hey Glori, bye-bye!”
I’m singin’ Glorfindel can never die,
Glorfindel can never die.

I am a girl who sings the blues
And I want to tell some happy news
But my dear elf has gone away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d bought my books years before
And the man there said he agrees with what I say.

And in the streets the fans all screamed
The purists cried, and sat and steamed
But not a word was spoken,
If we had we’d all be broken
And the elf-lord I admire most
My dear Glorfindel, (now a ghost)
Met up with Jackson, now he’s toast.
The Glorfindel died

We started singin’
Bye-bye, my poor Glorfindel guy,
Rode his horse-y on his course-y
But that course was a lie
And that old Arwen said “Hey Glori bye-bye”
I’m singin’ Glorfindel can never die,
Glorfindel can never die.
I was singing bye-bye, my poor Glorfindel guy,
Rode his horse-y on his course-y
But that course was a lie
And that old Arwen said “Hey Glori, bye-bye!”
Singin’ Glorfindel can never die.