Day 1

Note to self: candid cameras, Legolas, and Aragorn are a bad mix…

In a cave. In hiding. Got caught by Aragorn and Legolas after a rather amusing prank. Of course they didn’t see the funny side. Especially not Legolas, since Aragorn had just nearly strangled him as a result of said prank. Now they’re after my blood. Cheesing off both the King and Queen of Gondor and the Prince of Mirkwood simultaneously was a very, very bad idea.

Can hear noises outside. Going further in. I may be a bit scared of the dark, but I’m terrified of what will happen if I’m caught…

Day 2

Yes. Cheesing them off was a bad idea. I am now on the run from part of the armies of Gondor and Mirkwood. I am never going to play pranks on royals again. (Let’s see how long that resolution holds up…)

Anyway, I’m going to go to Rivendell. If anything, I want to see my family again before the soldiers catch up with me — and maybe convince Elladan and Elrohir to try and get me back into the good books of cheesed-off royals. If they don’t see the funny side, nobody will, if half of what I’ve heard concerning their own pranks is true. (I do believe they did something similar themselves once…) Plus, I might be able to pick up some tips… 🙂

Day 3

This is more serious than I thought. There’re Wanted posters all over Gondor now. They’re saying I’m a robber! (Aye, of dignity, maybe.)
I am so dead.

Note to self: Rip down as many Wanted posters as possible.

Day 4

Hmm, I wonder if I should just balance a bucket of paint on that door… no, no, no. No more prankstering. (Say, is that even a word?)

Starting to get prank withdrawal. Itching to dye somebody’s eyebrows. Though I learned from Elrond that if I value my life, I’ll stay away from people’s eyebrows. (Mind you, it was almost worth it. He didn’t manage to get the dye out for months.)

Number of Wanted posters ripped down: 9. Number of Wanted posters still to be ripped down: 9,999,991. Approximately.

Day 5

Ack. I gave in and balanced the bucket of paint on the door. The victim was not happy. Now I’ve got yet another person wanting to kill me… as if half the world wasn’t already on that list anyway.

I must get control of this prank withdrawal. If I go on like this, I will really honestly get myself killed… Oh, okay. One more bucket…

Day 6

Eep.

I am never going within a mile radius of a bucket again in my life.

Or of a stable.

Still, having a horse means I can escape faster, I suppose.

Which I should do right now. Bye-bye!

Day 7

In a cave again. It’s becoming a habit.

Right, let me explain yesterday.

I gave into my withdrawal and put a bucket on top of a door again, as you know. Unfortunately, the next person — people rather — to come out were a very large group. I’d picked a pub, hadn’t I.

Anyway, bucket fell. People avoided it. Bucket hit the ground. Bucket exploded. Big chunk of the base knocked somebody out.

I ran. Now, I know it’s instinct, fight or flight and all that, but the stupidest thing I could have done at that moment was break cover. They all chased after me like a pack of hounds. I dodged into the nearest building, which happened to be a stable. Ended up in a stall right at the very back, cornered.

Of course, being in a blind panic and unbelievably stupid, I jumped onto the horse and charged them. Fortunately I didn’t knock anyone else out, they all got out of the way, and yes, I got out okay, but now I really am a robber. A horse thief! What’s punishment for stealing horses these days?! Oh dear Eru, merciful Ilúvatar, don’t let it be death. Please, please, please!

If only I hadn’t played that prank on King Elessar. (I am too scared to call him just “Aragorn” any more.) I wish candid cameras didn’t exist.

Wait — do candid cameras exist? I mean, this is Middle-Earth and all. We aren’t advanced enough for cameras yet…

Well, we are now, this tape proves it.
Life really sucks, doesn’t it?