Chapter 1

Joyful sounds of a party filled the air that night in Rivendell. Music was playing, some danced, other enjoyed the magnificent food prepared for the spring’s festivities. The tables were decorated with white and lilac fabrics; matching drapes and wreaths were hanging from the trees together with silver lanterns on every free bough. It was breathtaking. Many had travelled from Lórien and Mirkwood to honour the beginning of Sheelala [Spring Festival] and their long journey had been fully repaid by the magnificence of the celebrations. Everyone seemed to be truly happy. But there was one who preferred to stay away from the bustle of celebrations.
There, on one of the balconies that overlooked the festive courtyard, stood Elrond Half-Elven, the Lord of Imladris. A voice broke the silence.
“You don’t want to join us my friend?” asked Gandalf startling the elf who had not heard him approach. “It is no use to dwell on the past Elrond…,” he added sensing his friend’s melancholy.
“She shouldn’t have been there Gandalf, it was my fault…,” replied Elrond looking at the starlit sky, regret shining in his eyes.
“You…we couldn’t have done more than we did,” said Gandalf a touch of sadness in his voice.
They stayed there in silence a while longer, remembering a friend lost.
~ * ~ *~*~
“I’m going to a better place Jeanne, do not be sad,” said the older woman.
“I don’t want you to leave me grandma…I…I won’t make it without you…” she managed to say in between sobs.
“You’ll find your way,” she replied gently as she touched her granddaughter’s face, feeling the tears on her cheeks. “Do not cry my child, u i vethed na i onnad.” [This is not the end, it is the beginning]
“What are you saying?” asked Jeanne puzzled. She did not recognise that language, had never heard it before. Or had she…? She remembered how her grandma used to sing to her when a child she woke up in the middle of the night shaken by nightmares. The words she used…”Kaima, kaima ten amin tirith lle” [Sleep. Sleep, for I guard you]…she did not understand them but she knew that they had a soothing effect on her. She felt secure when her grandma sang to her like that. But now…she didn’t know how conscious her grandma could be in that moment. She seemed to be talking to herself. Jeanne thought she’d recognised some words, “Valinor”, “Imladris”. She remembered them from the fairy tales her grandmother used to tell her, but they made no sense to her in that moment.
” Jeanne…you have to promise me you will do what I asked you when time has come,” she asked taking her granddaughter’s hand in hers.
“Don’t think about that now, you’re not going to die, I won’t let you…,” replied Jeanne obstinacy in her voice.
“My child, my time has come, I know it. It’s time for me to go back…remember what you promised…Im meleth lle [I love you]”. It was a barely audible whisper.
“Please don’t leave me…I need you…,” she said clutching her grandma’s hands tight, feeling life slowly leave Ryanna…and then she was gone. And Jeanne cried, she cried until she had no more tears left.
~ * ~ *~*~
“Jeanne…,” a familiar voice brought her back to reality. “Jeanne, are you ok?” asked her boyfriend concerned.
“Oh…yes, yes I’m fine,” she managed to reply slowly taking in the surroundings.
“We have to go,” said Mike guiding her down the alley of the church, as Father O’Reilly carried the urn with Ryanna’s ashes in front of them. There was a strong outward wind blowing as they reached the lake.
Trying to hold back the tears she felt forming in her eyes, Jeanne walked alone to the end of the pier and shed her grandmother’s ashes into the water, saying her farewell to her grandma with the words she had promised to say. “May your soul follow the rays of light to the Grey Havens of your kin’s land, may the grace of the Valar take you to the Undying Lands. Namarie [Farewell]. We’ll always remember you.”
The sun was setting as the remaining of the ashes touched the water and Jeanne could have sworn she had seen a flash of light coming out of the water. *How could that be possible?* she thought to herself. She turned around to see if anyone else had noticed, but apparently they had not. Her mind must have been playing games with her. Finally, one after the other, everyone walked down to where Jeanne was standing and threw white roses into the lake as their last farewell to their friend.
~ * ~ *~*~
It had always been her grandparents who had taken care of her. They were the only real family she had. Her mother had died when she was a child and her father…well, he had never showed any interest for her, he considered her some kind of “collateral damage”. And her mother’s death did not change things.
A faint smile appeared on Jeanne’s face as she remembered how she had come to live with her grandparents and how she’d been surprised to find out that people in town thought Ryanna to be a witch. Well, she’d always thought that her grandma was a bit…let’s say eccentric, and the fact that she had no memories whatsoever of her youth, of any family or anything at all before she had met Jeanne’s grandfather, did not really help. But the only witchcraft Jeanne had ever saw her perform were her herbalist skills, which everybody in the small town appreciated, despite their suspicions about their “magical” origin.
Even the kids seemed to forget all about the witch-thing when Ryanna told them those incredible tales of elves and dwarves and other strange creatures. Her personal favourite was the story of Luthien, a beautiful elven princess who had forsaken her immortality to stay with the man she loved; it reminded her of her grandparents. She had never seen a love so strong and deep down she believed that after her husband had died, Ryanna had lost her will to live and had let herself slowly fade. She missed them both so much.
Jeanne felt drained of all energy. For the first time after her grandma’s death she found herself all alone in the house that had welcomed her that many years ago. The house where she had shared so much joy. The only place she could really call home.
Mike had left for New York earlier that evening, after one of the many arguments they’d had lately about his career and his new job in New York. He had asked her to move in with him in the new apartment his firm had found for him, but she felt she was not ready to give up her life, at least not for him. It was a feeling that had been creeping up at her for some time now, but it was only after her grandma’s death that she had fully realised that her relationship with Mike had become more a matter of not wanting to be alone, than really wanting to share her life with him.
~ * ~ *~*~
“I have to go back to New York. Why don’t you come with me?” he asked her while he was packing his bag.
“How can you ask me to leave at a time like this?” she replied dryly.
“Jeanne, I know how much you loved your grandma, but it is our future we’re talking about here,” he said.
“It’s your future we’re talking about!” she snapped back sounding more harsh than she had meant to. “Look, you can’t ask me to move right now, there are so many things I have to take care of, like the house and everything else…”
“Why don’t you ask a realtor to take care of the house?” he replied matter-of-factly.
She looked at him in disbelief. “You don’t really think I’m going to ask a stranger to take care of the house of my grandparents, do you?!”
“Maybe it’s not the best time to take a decision,” he replied walking to her. “Why don’t you take some time to think about it and we can talk about it when you come to New York.”
“I need some time alone Mike,” she said startling him, “time to think…”
“Think about what?” he asked puzzled.
“About my life, my job,….” She hesitated, “About us…,” she finally said walking out on the veranda.
“Oh…ok, if that’s what you want,” he replied from the living room. “You know where to find me when you take your decision.” But he did not get any answer.
She heard his footsteps as he walked to the door and closed it behind him as he left.
~ * ~ *~*~
The night was completely silent, save for a few distant calls of night birds. Elrond was wandering aimlessly through the gardens of Rivendell, when he found himself walking down the narrow path that led to Ryanna’s memorial as if attracted by some invisible although familiar force. Ever since her death it had become the place he fled to seeking for solitude when the burden of worries became too heavy. It was a place where his soul could find some rest.
When Celebrian had sailed to Valinor, he had tried to be strong. He believed it would make it easier for his children if he did not show how much it broke his heart to see his beloved wife leave him. But after a while the pain, and he had to admit the resentment, had become almost unbearable. His fight with himself to keep up the mask of the strong elf lord had not gone unnoticed to those around him, his grumpiness starting to affect his work. The only person that had had the courage to tell him he should do something about it before it destroyed him from within had been Ryanna. Maybe it was because she had not been in Rivendell long enough to know that one should not tell the mighty elven lord what to do, or maybe because she’d hung around with Gandalf too much, he did not know. But he was grateful she did. But now she was gone, his sons were wandering through Middle Earth and Arwen had left for Lothlorien. He was alone and once again he tried to find refuge in his memories of more happy times.
He did not know how long he’d been sitting there. He had lost track of the time letting his mind wander to a time when he did not have all the worries he had now. But the echo of the loss of many friends in the years had outweighed the pleasant memories and had taken him back to reality, his eyes dark as if shaded by a cloud.
“Do not let the past burden your heart,” said a soft voice from the darkness of the woods that surrounded the memorial.
“Who is it?” asked Elrond startled. “Show yourself!” He ordered wondering who had dared to intrude in his private sanctuary.
“Is that how you welcome back a friend?” asked the woman’s voice again.
Elrond seemed to recognise the voice. “It can’t be…” he thought aloud.
“Why not? Someone told me one should not underestimate the power of the Valar,” replied Ryanna coming out of the shadow to reveal herself.
“Am I dreaming?” he asked walking to the woman standing in the moonshine, wondering if his mind was not playing games with him.
“I hope not. I feel pretty much alive for a vision,” she replied amusement in her voice. “And I don’t think the Valar would go through all these troubles to give me back my mortal body only to show up in your dreams my lord,” she said smiling to him.
“How is this possible?” he whispered as he reached up with his hand to touch her face as to make sure he had not gone completely mad. “I’m happy to see you too Elrond…” she replied, the familiar smile lighting her face.

tbc