I would like to thank everyone who responded to my Beta Challenge. You guys are the best, ever! I used several betas to help me with the next three chapters. Anath the GODDESS, AJ, Jennifer Stampede, Kim Le, and Lisa, thank you all so much for helping me and giving me your feedback. Your opinions have helped me immeasurably.

I started writing again with no beta at all, and now I have two! How cool is that? Jennifer and AJ, and theyÂ’re awesome. Thank you both so much.

I hope the next chapter meets with your approval, readers. Thanks for sticking with this story. It is really special to me, and I love sharing it with all of you. Please give me your thoughts and reviews. More chapters are coming soon!

Enjoy!

Rapunzel

Chapter 25

The green grass was sun-dappled and the weather crisp and clear. In the far distance, the River Glanduin glittered in its iridescent brilliance. The afternoon was waning and Legolas and Buffy rode together at a leisurely trot, the Elf guiding the horse close to the mountainside. One day after BuffyÂ’s epic sword fight with Elrohir, the party had resumed travel, their road taking them closer and closer to MoriaÂ’s West-door.

Elladan and Elrohir rode farther ahead, with GimliÂ’s pony struggling to keep up with the bigger animals. They wanted to scout out possible orc dwellings, for Moria was still infested with untold numbers of the miserable creatures. The elves and the Dwarf were not so foolish as to think that they could walk into the black pit and eliminate every single orc from its depths. Though Gimli naturally wished to do so, for he relished the idea of ridding his kinsmanÂ’s home of this filth, the group realized they were only five and could do no more than try to surprise small groups when they ventured outside the mountain after nightfall.

Elladan had tried to discourage the Dwarf from accompanying him and his brother. He was concerned that Gimli would not be as stealthy as they, with his heavily plodding stride and his tendency to act rashly, but the Elf saw the grim determination in the DwarfÂ’s eyes and knew that he would not be denied. So they galloped off, promising to send one of the Peredhil back for Buffy and Legolas once they had found something.

“You’re very quiet today,” Legolas observed as they watched the others ride off. She had not had anything to say when the others made ready for their mission. Indeed, she had not spoken much at all that day, in contrast to all her laughter and glee the previous morning.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Buffy replied. Her tone was pleasant and not at all unfriendly or forbidding as it sometimes was when she was pensive.

When no reason for her silence seemed forthcoming, Legolas tried to prod her into conversation. “Is anything the matter?”

“No, not really. I just don’t have much to say today, I guess.”

“No more stories of elves from your world you wish to share?” Legolas asked, grinning.

“Not unless you want to hear about the shoemaking elves again,” she said, laughing a little.

Legolas bit back a chuckle, remembering her mirth as she told them that ridiculous story about the elves and the shoemaker. He had acted sullen along with Elladan and Elrohir while listening to the tale, but in truth he hadnÂ’t minded the story all that much. The fact that she was smiling and talking was such a tremendous joy to him, that Legolas didnÂ’t care what brought it about. Even if he had to endure hearing about tiny, naked elves making shoes for a month, he would do so, if only to bring forth her laughter.

“If you wish to tell it again, you have my leave,” said Legolas, half-hoping that she would.

Buffy laughed softly again. “No, I’ll spare you the torture. This time,” she added as she threw a cheeky glance behind her. “Piss me off one of these days and I might tell it again, with you starring as one of the elves!”

Legolas laughed in response to her threat. “Would I be naked, then?”

Buffy’s eyes popped open wide at his question and her cheeks turned red. She turned back around abruptly. “Then again, maybe I won’t,” she muttered.

Legolas regretted his jest. He had not meant to embarrass her. She lapsed again into silence, sitting straight up and away from him. The silence stretched between them awkwardly, neither knowing what they could say to end it. Legolas sensed the tension within Buffy, as well as a little confusion.

In truth, he was experiencing some confusion as well. Seeing her smile gave him a joy that he had never known before. He supposed it was only because of their bond, but something in his heart told him that this was not so. Certainly, her moods had taken him on a journey like no other, and his emotions scrambled with hers until he hardly knew which way was up. He remembered their first meeting in Fangorn Forest and grinned widely, for it had been a singular experience. This small girl had not only easily tackled and pinned him, but she had mocked him and laughed at him as well.

That had been a definite sign to Legolas that his life would never be the same henceforth. Indeed, this changeable little Slayer held a piece of his fëa and their destinies would forever be linked. Surely this explained the sense of completeness that had overcome him the other night when they embraced.

LegolasÂ’s heart ached at the memory of holding Buffy so closely. He was holding her now, his hands merely keeping her in place as they rode. He was fighting the urge to tighten his grasp and pull her to him, when suddenly she sighed and leaned back into his chest. At first he was startled at this sudden change, but then his arms crept around her waist and he rested his chin on the top of her head. His heart leapt and the comfort that he found in this intimate pose nearly made him weep, for the contentment that engulfed him sent his mind into a whirl of confusion.

He did not know what was happening to him. All he knew was that this was not what he had planned for himself back when the War of the Ring had ended. Once the great conflict had ended, Legolas had wanted to wander Middle Earth and perhaps find a new place to settle once he ceased his explorations. It was something he wanted with all of his heart, to see all that he could and then carve out a niche for himself in the world. Then, when he could no longer ignore the call of the sea, he would sail West to live in the Undying Lands.

Now he felt rootless, completely at a loss. Meeting Buffy had made him unsure of himself and his place in the world in a way that he had never been in the past. And yet, he thought as he relished the feel of her in his arms, he was whole when she was near. Legolas drew in a deep breath, his emotions in a tangle. What had this girl done to him?

Buffy shifted against his body, trying to find a more comfortable position. Finally, she settled back against him with her cheek leaning against his right shoulder. Her eyes were closed and her breathing deepened, as if she slumbered. Legolas could not help but wonder why sheÂ’d suddenly decided to sleep just then. He could sense that her emotions were spinning and making her anxious, although he did not know the reason. He doubted very much that she was asleep or that she was even trying. Perhaps she is overwhelmed with care about the troubles in her life, but does not wish to burden me at the moment, he thought. Ah, it is too late for that, little one. I now have a share in all of your worries. He tried to overcome his feelings about his own predicament in order to offer her comfort so that she could sleep if she needed to, but it was proving difficult.

Buffy, for her part, was also in a land of confusion. The embrace theyÂ’d shared the other night was haunting her as well. She was attracted to him. As in really really. Supercalifragilisticly. It started the moment she first tackled him in the forest, but her fascination with him had built over time until she just couldnÂ’t deny it anymore. In the beginning, it was all about his looks, especially his eyes. Seriously, he was so pretty she could start writing bad poetry any day now. What am I doing? Buffy agonized. She did not need a romance or any kind of flingage right now. She had recently come back from the dead, for the love of PeteÂ’s Dragon. She wasnÂ’t at some college party, flirting with a hot, new guy and testing the waters. But she really wanted to test those waters. She wanted to jump into the waters headfirst and cavort.

An image of a naked Legolas cavorting in a stream manifested itself in her fevered brain. Stupid, stupid Legolas! she fumed internally. Why did he have to say that? Naked Legolas. Naked Legolas with whipped cream and hot fudge. Stop it, stop it, stop it! She shifted again, completely discomfited and unable to rest. Plus, she now had desserts on the brain as well as sex. She wasnÂ’t really trying to sleep, anyway. She had relaxed against him in order to escape further awkward silences and conversation, and because she was at a loss for anything better to do. If she was sleeping, they couldnÂ’t talk about the naked thing. Buffy kept her eyes squeezed shut, fearful that if she opened them, Legolas would know what she was thinking.

He seemed to always know what she was feeling in any case, which completely baffled her. Whenever she needed comfort, he was always at her side, ready to hold her hand or talk soothingly to her. Another strange thing was that his concern for her did not feel like coddling. It felt like friendship, true friendship. That was what she valued about him the most, above all his prettiness.

The best part was that, for the first time since her resurrection, Buffy was feeling alive. When she looked into LegolasÂ’s eyes, her blood warmed, and her heart sped up. Being close to him as she was at this moment was waking up her senses, thrilling and frightening her at the same time. Her deep sadness still remained, and some days were harder than others, but it was better than feeling nothing at all.

Buffy could not help but be glad that she had somehow been dropped into this world. As conflicted as that made her feel, she knew that were she still in Sunnydale, she would not be doing as well as she was now. Nothing at home coaxed emotions from her the way this place did. The beauty of it was a balm to all her hurts. She did not feel as raw and exposed as she did on the Hellmouth, where everything was hard, bright, and violent. Though she had never been one to commune with nature much, the sight of the trees and the rolling hills blanketed in grass, the mountaintops obscured in mist, and the clear night sky brought her peace when she was suffering.

Buffy opened her eyes, no longer able to feign sleep. It was a dumb thing to do anyway. I only did it to get elf snuggles, she told herself. ItÂ’s not like heÂ’s complaining, either. He went right for the cuddle. Buffy knew then that she had to be careful. If he was developing feelings for her- oh get over yourself, Buffy. Not everyone falls in love with you. She shook off the thrill that coursed through her stomach and convinced herself that he put his arms around her only to keep her on the horse. It was how they always rode when she slept. ThatÂ’s right. Just keep it friendly. Really, really friendly.

She decided to end the charade at last. “Sorry,” she said aloud to the Elf. “Guess I dozed off for a little bit there.” Buffy made a show of waking up, yawning, and stretching her neck.

“Did you?” was Legolas’s soft reply. His voice held a slight quirk, as if he was smiling at her in amused disbelief, and Buffy’s insides jolted.

Oh crappity crap! Did he know I was faking? Buffy lifted her head to look back at him, and found that he was looking directly down at her. She froze. Their eyes were locked together, their faces close to touching. BuffyÂ’s pulse raced and her breathing quickened. HeÂ’s going to kiss me! she thought in a panic, but she did not move. She wanted to draw his head down to hers and touch their lips together, but she could not muster the courage.

Almost as soon as she had the thought, Legolas dipped his head a little, his eyes questioning. His eyes flickered briefly down briefly to look at her slightly parted lips and she wet them in subconscious anticipation. LegolasÂ’s gaze became fixed on her mouth, and his eyes darkened at the sight of her tongue. BuffyÂ’s breath caught in her throat and she closed her eyes. A long moment passed, and absolutely nothing happened. BuffyÂ’s eyes opened again, and she was dismayed and embarrassed to see that Legolas was no longer looking at her, poised for a kiss. He had straightened up, and was looking off into the distance, completely detached.

Buffy turned back around and pulled herself out of his arms. Legolas made no attempt to hold onto her, and Buffy took that as a sign that sheÂ’d made a complete ass out of herself. What in the hell did I just do? What was he doing? Her embarrassment started to turn into anger. What kind of game had he been playing? She was surprised to find that her eyes were a little wet. She blinked a few times, releasing a tear or two. Using her shoulder to wipe the moisture away, she stole a glance the Elf. He looked back down at her furtively, and then looked away again. He looked extremely uncomfortable.

Did I totally misread the signals? she thought. Buffy tangled her fingers in the horse’s mane, idly playing with the coarse hair. And what’s with the tearing up? She frowned. Maybe I had something in my eye. She stifled a sudden gasp, as she came to a realization. I had something in my eye. Legolas was looking at it, and was about to tell me, when I went all “Gone with the Wind” on him.

Buffy wanted to hang her head. She was now openly lusting after the Elf, and she had officially wigged him out. She started to tear up again, and did her best to stave off the weepfest. Her light mood was rapidly dissipating. Had she now alienated one of the only friends she had in this strange world? He and Gimli had both stepped up to assist her without hesitation or without even being asked. Xander and Willow had been like that once. But after they refused to let her rest in peace, she felt like they were pulling off little bits of her day by day, they hung onto her so hard. Legolas only asked of her what she was willing to give.

Buffy resolved not to mention the incident. She would pretend it had never happened, and she hoped Legolas would do the same. She was saved from further brooding when the sound of hoof beats reached her ears. Gimli was trotting toward them, looking fierce.

“Blast those Half-Elven demons!” he shouted.

Legolas laughed as he nudged Arod into a faster trot. “What happened, friend? Did they desert you?”

“Yes, curse them!” Gimli answered. “No doubt they wished to keep all the slaying to themselves, the fiends.”

“Did you find an orc camp, then?” Legolas inquired as they drew closer to the belligerent Dwarf.

“We found a few traces farther up the mountainside,” Gimli said, his breathing labored. “Then they followed a trail only they could see. They took off so fast that I could not follow. I was determined to be of some use, so I came back to get you. If it had been you and I on that hunt, you would not have abandoned me, friend.”

“We shall follow them, then,” Legolas agreed heartily. “Then, when I find their trail, I shall not let you fall behind.”

Gimli smiled, and looked to Buffy with a gleam in his eye. “Are you ready to hunt some orc, Slayer?”

Determinedly swallowing her recent attack of the doldrums, Buffy nodded. “I’m charged up, armed, and dangerous,” she replied.

“Let us be off then. No doubt we are needed,” Legolas said, looking up at the darkening sky. “Night will soon fall, and those creatures will be roaming freely.”

Gimli turned his pony around, heading back the way he had come. Elf and Dwarf spurred their mounts forward, and Buffy held onto ArodÂ’s mane. LegolasÂ’s arm was about her waist again, gripping her tightly. An electric feeling coursed through Buffy at the contact, but she shrugged it off, trying to steel herself for battle.

“I will beat you this time, Gimli!” Legolas shouted to his friend. “Your kills will not outnumber mine!”

“That’ll be the day, Elf!” was the Dwarf’s jovial reply.

“You guys have an on-going contest or something?” Buffy asked in bewilderment. “What’s the prize?”

“The satisfaction of knowing who is better!” cried Gimli.

Buffy rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Boys.” After a moment she declared, “Count me in!”

* * *

“I was just enjoying the feel of the wind on my face, that’s all,” Buffy was muttering to herself as she paced. “I didn’t want to get any dust in my eyes, so that’s why I closed them. I wasn’t expecting a kiss, no siree.” She stopped and sighed loudly, satisfied with her ready explanation, should it ever be needed. “I just hope he doesn’t bring it up,” she said worriedly. “I hope that I don’t bring it up!” she added in alarm. “Just have to know when to let things lie,” she advised herself. “’Cause I’m real good at that.”

Feeling calmer now that she had totally deceived herself into thinking she had no reason to be embarrassed and humiliated, Buffy sat down by the campfire. The early morning light was breaking through the trees, and she was alone for the moment at the bottom of the mountain. The others were disposing of the bodies of the orcs they had slain during the night. As the warrior with the most kills, Buffy was happily exempt from this duty, much to Legolas and GimliÂ’s annoyance. Especially Gimli, she thought with a smirk.

Buffy giggled as she recalled the look on the DwarfÂ’s face when they tallied their scores. The twins let themselves out of the competition out of a severe lack of interest, but she, Legolas, and Gimli reported in almost immediately after the battle was done.

“Ten,” declared Legolas with a satisfied grin.

“Twelve!” cried Gimli in triumph. “Ha ha! Beat that!”

Buffy gestured to the pile of bodies behind her. “Twenty,” she said simply.

“What?” said Gimli, his smile turning into a ferocious frown.

“Count ‘em and weep,” she told the disbelieving Dwarf.

The large party of orcs had startled the companions, who had only thought to confront a small band based on the trail the twins had found. Their numbers had the elves speculating on the purpose of such a large group afterwards. They did not appear to be transporting anything of worth which they might have found in the Dwarven stores, so they could only guess at why they had ventured forth with so many.

They were still discussing the possibilities when they returned to find Buffy minding the fire and rummaging for breakfast in one of the travelersÂ’ packs. While Elladan, Elrohir and Gimli walked directly to the camp to wrangle food away from the Slayer, Legolas hung back, observing.

A pang of guilt stabbed through him at what he had nearly done the previous afternoon. He had almost completely lost his head and forced his attentions on her. The strange thing about it was that he did not remember ever thinking of trying to kiss her before that moment, but when she looked up at him as she had, something in his mind clicked into place. The angle of her head and the intense green of her eyes had captivated him, and then he had glanced at her lips and his mind was lost.

Legolas swallowed and closed his eyes as he remembered. In that moment, he had wanted nothing more than to taste her mouth and feel its softness against his. It seemed as if he had always wanted it from the first time he laid eyes on her. For almost one agonizing minute, he contemplated giving in to his desire, but he had to tear himself away at last, knowing that doing so would not lead to happiness for either of them.

What would she say if she knew what he had been thinking? No doubt she would feel angry and put upon. The nerve of him! How could he assume that she would want such a thing? If he had kissed her, she would have reacted with disgust, feeling insulted and used. She had already braced herself against it when she closed her eyes, he thought. He could not understand, though, why she had not turned her head away from him, unless she did not wish to be unkind.

She need not have spared his feelings, he told himself. He had deserved censure, of that he had no doubt. One did not simply go around kissing young mortal women in oneÂ’s care, it was just not done. He nearly laughed at the thought that Buffy would be indignant if she knew he considered her to be in his guardianship. She would bristle and declare that she could take care of herself, but she still did not know of the bond he had created and the promise he had made to her when he woke her from her deadly sleep. That, if anything, made her his responsibility, and he had no business making unwanted advances, especially since he had no idea why he felt this way or where it would lead.

Legolas watched as she spread out her bedroll and proceeded to make ready for sleep. He was glad to see that she had eaten a substantial breakfast just then. It meant that she was taking care of her needs and not dwelling too much on the terrible situation she had been thrust into. He would watch over her while she slept, he decided. The Elf did not want to risk any more nightmares that would spoil her lighter mood.

He moved toward her nonchalantly, testing his welcome. He sat down by her bedroll and picked up a packet of Lembas for himself. She gave no sign that his nearness bothered her at all. In fact, he sensed some relief and gratitude that he was nearby while she stretched out on her pallet. This satisfied him, and some of the guilt he harbored over the day before ebbed a little.

As Buffy drifted off to sleep, the others breakfasted. No one spoke until Gimli loudly announced his intention to sleep and made his bed. Legolas had to suppress a laugh when the DwarfÂ’s snoring began almost immediately after heÂ’d lain down. Buffy sat up with an irritated grunt and whacked him on the shoulder to get him to stop. Legolas chuckled at this, and she turned and smiled at him briefly before lying down again and closing her eyes.

LegolasÂ’s heart warmed at that shared moment. He was still smiling when a sudden noise from the horses caught his attention. He looked up to see Elladan leading the animals away to a clearing.

“We will be taking the horses to feed and then find water for them,” Elrohir told him. “Take your rest, for we cannot stay long.”

Legolas nodded, and the brothers turned and left the campsite. Elrohir stopped and looked back at him, his gaze questioning. Legolas frowned at him, eager for the other Elf to be gone. He did not wish for a repeat of their conversation about his feelings for Buffy or his fate. He felt a stab of annoyance, recalling how the twins had pried and questioned his actions. When Elrohir did not move, LegolasÂ’s frown deepened and he impatiently gestured for him to go. Elrohir took the hint and left, but not before Legolas saw him smirk and shake his head.

He wanted to hurl his Lembas at the retreating ElfÂ’s head, but regrettably he had already eaten it. Legolas found a large pine cone instead and threw it, hitting his target right between the shoulder blades. He could not help letting out a sharp laugh at ElrohirÂ’s stunned face when he spun around. Legolas tried to look innocent, but failed miserably. He chuckled again when Elrohir turned on his heel indignantly and marched out of sight, his dignity ruffled.

Legolas looked at Buffy, hoping his laughter had not disturbed her slumber, but she was sleeping peacefully, lying on her side with her hand under her cheek. This pose made her appear so young and untroubled, and Legolas wished that were so. All he could do was help her bear her burdens and not add to her troubles.

A thought occurred to him suddenly. When he had almost kissed her the day before, he had not gathered any sense of her feelings at all. He could only speculate about how she really felt about the situation, because he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that her inner reaction was closed off to him. Legolas really had no idea what she wanted in that moment. He straightened up, extremely puzzled. Why was it that he could sense her every moment of distress or anxiety, become carried on the waves of any joy she felt, but he could not hone in on any feelings of attraction?

And why should it matter? Do I really want to know how she feels about me? he wondered. I know she likes me well enough, but does sheÂ… He stopped those thoughts abruptly. How ridiculous. I am acting like I am just out of childhood. What does it matter if she finds me attractive? It certainly does not matter! Nothing can ever happen between us! Ever!

Legolas tried in vain to quash the curious part of him that was desperate to know this part of her mind and heart. What would be the point? For all he knew, there was someone she cared for back at home that she had not spoken of yet. His heart sunk at the thought. How can I find out without appearing too inquisitive? he thought, before mentally slapping himself in vexation. Stop! I must stop this at once! I am driving myself mad Suddenly, Legolas was startled from his tumultuous thoughts when a soft voice broke through.

“What’s wrong?” Buffy was sitting up on her pallet, staring at him in polite concern.

Legolas blinked, surprised that he had not heard her stir. “I… nothing, Buffy, I am well,” he responded finally, and then frowned, wondering what had woken her. “Are you all right? Have you been dreaming? Is anything disturbing you?” He knelt by her urgently, ready to help her if she needed him.

Buffy leaned away, a little disconcerted by his overly solicitous demeanor. “Uh, no, not until you started getting all mother hen-like on me.”

Legolas relaxed and grinned self-deprecatingly. “I am sorry. You know that I worry for you… when you sleep.” He sat back, giving her room to breathe.

Buffy smiled gently back at him, hugging her knees. “It’s okay. I haven’t actually been asleep for a little while.”

“Oh? Why did you not say anything?”

She shrugged. “You looked like you had a lot on your mind.” She eyed him slyly. “Maybe that’s what woke me. You were thinking too loud.” She glanced over at Gimli. “That and Gimli’s snoring.”

Legolas chuckled a little nervously at that. “Yes, I’m afraid my mind is somewhat occupied.”

“Anything I can help with?”

He fought down a stab of panic. “No! Of course not. I am just woolgathering, that is all.”

Buffy’s eyebrows shot up at his vehement denial. “Okay, just thought I’d ask. I’d like to help you out a little is all. We’re always going on and on about me, and I thought maybe…”

Legolas calmed down, touched by her offer. “Thank you. I appreciate that. But I hope you know that I’m quite happy to be of service to you.”

For some reason he could not fathom, Buffy blushed a little at his last statement and coughed. “Right. Um… so I guess I’ll try to get back to sleep… I guess.” She stared off into the night, her eyes full of the same uncertainty he had been feeling of late.

“Are you all right?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m just thinking.”

“Anything in particular?”

She opened her mouth, about to reply, but stopped herself. It seemed to Legolas that she was having some sort of inner debate. Finally, she smiled wryly and replied, “You’ve heard it all before. The self-pity crap. I’m the Slayer, wah, wah, wah. I won’t blame you if you run away now. I’m even sick of me.”

Legolas chuckled. “At least, you’re honest and objective about it.”

Buffy wrapped her arms about herself protectively. “I’m sorry. I know I bring you guys down all the time.”

Legolas frowned and shook his head benevolently. “Don’t apologize, Buffy! You won’t just suddenly recover from wounds so deep.”

“It’s a process, I get it.” Buffy shrugged and picked at the lint on her blanket. “Problem is though, that the wounds keep getting reopened. My life is just more and more of the same old, same old. Slaying, fighting, bookoos of demons, egomaniacal people who want to take over the world. And what is with that, anyway? Why would anyone want that job, it would totally suck!”

Legolas ignored the last comment, focusing on her problem instead. “But you get something out of it, do you not? Even if you fail sometimes, you do succeed in saving lives, saving the world.”

“Yeah, there’s some job satisfaction,” she agreed halfheartedly, “but I wish I didn’t feel so goddamn alone all the time. Being the Slayer separates me from everyone else.”

“Anyone in a position of leadership and responsibility feels that way,” Legolas assured her softly. “In a way you are not alone in… being alone.”

Buffy looked up at him sharply. “I think I’ve heard that somewhere… in a song or something. Where have I heard that before? Oh, that’s gonna drive me crazy now. Thanks a lot!” She shoved Legolas playfully.

He smiled, regaining his lost balance. “At least it will give you something else to think about.”

“True.” Buffy smiled back and nodded, then looked at the Elf apologetically. “Again, sorry for all the angst and self-absorption. It’s a huge fault of mine, I know.” She laughed. “See? We’re going on and on about me again. And here I thought I was growing.”

“You are also extremely hard on yourself. Did you not find peace after your death? How many people in your world can say for certain what awaits them after they die? You have the comfort of knowing that when death claims you again, you will regain that peace.”

“I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way.” Buffy paused, and then shook her head. “Nope, still hurts.”

“It will for a while,” Legolas told her quietly. “In the meantime, take advantage of this time you’ve been given. Think of it as a gift.”

“I’ll give it the old college try.” Buffy dropped her sarcastic demeanor at Legolas’s reproving look. “No, I’m serious. I will.” She closed her eyes and made a deep sigh. “I just wish…” she trailed off, her voice barely audible.

“What do you wish?” Legolas whispered, moving closer to her.

Buffy glanced sideways at him, looking a little sheepish. “More deep thoughts,” she warned. “I just wish I knew why I was back. From the dead, I mean.” She shook her head sadly. “And why I’m here, in this place. My life is just one big question mark.”

“I wish I could tell you,” Legolas told her earnestly.

Buffy turned to look him straight in the eye, and his heart gave a sudden leap in his chest. “I wish you could too.”

Neither said anything for a long moment. They held each otherÂ’s gaze and the sounds of the morning surrounded them, filling the void their silence made. He wanted to keep talking to her. He wanted to tell her how uncertain he was of his purpose, just like she was. But Buffy looked away and suddenly yawned, her eyes beginning to droop.

“Well, perhaps you should try to go back to sleep. We still have much ground to cover, and will no doubt run across more orcs. You need rest.”

“Yes, Mommy.” Feeling slightly affronted, Legolas began to draw back, but she reached out and caught his hand. “Sorry. In all seriousness, you’ve really been… taking care of me. I’m really thankful for that.” She smiled up into his face. “You don’t know how much.”

The touch of her hand burned him and his heart swelled. Fighting to control his roiling emotions, he smiled back at her. “It has… been my pleasure and my honor to be your friend, Buffy,” he whispered.

Buffy looked a little embarrassed at that remark. She shyly squeezed his hand before letting go to lie back down to sleep. Legolas watched her with a heart full of both sorrow and happiness. In that moment, when she held his hand, everything suddenly became very clear. He loved her.

It was as if the earth was suddenly up, and the sky was down. Though she had only held his hand but a moment, the contact made his heart accelerate, and his limbs shook slightly. He loved her. After thousands of years of living in this world, he had never been in love, and now, at long last, he loved. The ache in his heart turned into a sharp longing, a longing to touch her and hold her. To catch her up and sing a soft song of love into her ear. To have all the privileges a lover would be granted: kissing her mouth, stroking her hair, and caressing her face. But more than that, he wanted to make her smile and laugh. He wanted to be her happiness, and nothing else would do for him but to make her his.

This feeling was so wonderful and terrible at the same time. Not only did music and light fill his being, but also dread and despair. For he loved a woman he could never have, and the pain that lanced through his heart was enough to bring him to his knees. The situation was completely impossible. She did not belong in this world. She would soon go home, and he would never see her again. What would happen to him then? Legolas realized with sadness that he would most likely die of grief. Or perhaps he could depart to the West and leave all that he knew in order to escape the pain.

Legolas knew he could never reveal how he felt. She had been through so much and was so far from her home and everything she knew. She did not need the burden of knowing she held his heart in her small, powerful hands. Therefore, she could never learn of their mystical connection, for if she was ever made aware, she would then be privy to his feelings as he was to hers. This would stifle their friendship and grieve him all the more.

Once again, her voice broke through his troubled thoughts. “Legolas. Middle Earth to Legolas. Come in, Legolas.”

Legolas blinked, and wondered what she must be thinking of him, staring at her so intently while caught up in the whirlwind of emotion. What could she read in his face? Struck nearly dumb, he could only stammer, “Sorry.”

Buffy frowned at him, clearly puzzled. “Doing the shepherd thing again?”

“W-what?”

“You know, gathering the wool,” she said with a smirk. “Isn’t that what shepherds do?”

“Uh…”

“Now it’s my turn to be sorry,” she said. “That was kind of lame. But you looked so lost for a bit there… are you okay?”

Legolas sat back, his thoughts racing, and he willed himself to be calm. Fixing his mind on her words, he finally said, “Gathering wool? Oh! Woolgathering!” he laughed nervously. “Woolgathering, I see, I…understand… now,” he finished tiredly. Oh, miserable Elf, he chastised himself. What has become of you?

Buffy looked at him appraisingly. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for a couple of minutes now, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, I am fine,” he answered much too quickly. Trying to calm his nerves, he cleared his throat. “Was there something you needed?”

“I just had a question about something,” she replied hesitantly.

“What is it?”

Buffy tried to think of how to tell him what she wanted to say. She had lied to him before, about the reasons she couldn’t sleep. The “poor me, I’m the Slayer” explanation was all too often the truth, so when he had asked her what was wrong, she just blurted that out. In reality, though, she had been thinking of the fact that she had never thanked him for saving her life. It felt like it was forever ago, but she thought about it often, unsure of the right words to say. A few days ago, she had made the decision to thank him by submitting to his wilderness lessons instead of saying the words, but she knew that simply wasn’t enough. Something had to be said about it, and she owed him an apology as well, for acting so nasty to him after her awakening.

When she had opened her eyes to see him so lost in thought, she hated to disturb him, but if she didnÂ’t tell him then, she might never get the chance. She was so annoyed with herself for chickening out that, when she lay back down to rest, she found such a thing impossible. Though she was stumbling over her words, Buffy was glad that she finally found the guts to say something, even if it sounded lame.

“I… well, first I wanted to thank you not just for being my friend, but…” Buffy paused again, gathering her thoughts. “I didn’t say thanks before, when you, you know, saved my life.”

Legolas stared at her, and she took that to mean he did not know what she was talking about. “When I was sleeping like that. I would have died if you hadn’t woken me up.” She put her head down and fixed her gaze on the ground as she spoke. “I have to admit, at the time, I kind of wanted to die. I was dreaming that I was back in… that place.

“I know I was mean to you about it, and I’m sorry about that.” Buffy looked up, stopping his voice when he would have objected. “Really sorry. I think I was so mad because… while I was asleep, I really believed I was back there. I think I wanted it so much that I convinced myself it was real and that must’ve been why I couldn’t wake up.”

Legolas just listened to her, silently nodding as Buffy poured her heart out. As she stared into his eyes, so full of compassion and understanding, she thought she might start bawling at any moment. Seriously, she marveled to herself, this is what is so amazing about him. He lets me justÂ… be. I could so get used to this. Feeling she was leading her thoughts into dangerous territory, she continued.

“But then you were there,” she told him. A gentle breeze ruffled their hair and the leaves of the trees above them. “I heard your voice. I can’t remember what you said, but you pulled me out… and you saved me.” She laughed self-deprecatingly. “Saying ‘thanks’ sounds so lame but all the same, thanks.”

Legolas could not speak for a long moment. When he found his voice, he simply replied, “You are welcome, Buffy.”

The wind picked up a bit, and Buffy pulled her blanket tighter around her body. “Can I ask my question now?” she asked softly, and Legolas nodded. “What was it that you said? How did you wake me up?” Buffy didn’t know why, but her heart was pounding in her chest as she waited for his answer.

Again, Legolas did not reply right away. Only the sound of the breeze filled their ears for a while as he looked away from her a moment. When his eyes met hers again, they were filled with a softness that thrilled and puzzled her.

“What I said was,” he began, and then stopped. “I simply called to you with my heart.”

Buffy’s heart stopped. Her eyes were wide, and she just stared at him for a long time before saying, “Oh,” very softly.

Legolas stared back at her, unable to tear his gaze away. He could not move or think. He wanted so much to reach for her, but he used every ounce of strength he possessed to resist. Buffy did not move either. Her beloved eyes soon filled with tears, and two drops spilled over the edge and ran down her cheeks.

Unable to bear it anymore, he finally broke the silence. “You are tired, Buffy. You should get some rest.”

Buffy jumped, startled from her stupor. “Um. Yeah,” she said dumbly. “You too. I mean, I know you don’t sleep, but you look like you could use some.” Suddenly mortified that she had insulted him, she amended clumsily, “Not that you look bad, it’s just… what with the traveling and the orc killing, we’re all a little worn out, and… you know when that happens, people just lie down and close their eyes, and I’m going to stop talking and do that now, so, um, good night!” With that, she flopped back down on the pallet with her back to him, squeezing her eyes shut but doubting she would ever get to sleep.

Legolas smiled sadly. He loved her more in that moment than he ever thought he could love another being. This was the end of all things for him. When she went home, his heart would go with her.