Lab: retreating again into a world where dumb mariners do not exist. /At last he came to Night of Naught . . . /

Ear: NIGHT OF NAUGHT????????!!!??!! What does cool “naught” mean anyways?

Tal: *mumbling* Ihatemynameihatemynameihatemyna– *looks up suddenly* Oh. naught. In no degree; not at all.

Ear: How can a cool night be cool in no degree; not at all?

Aut: I dunno. Ask Bilbo. *Bilbo appears* Hi Bilbo! How can a night be in no degree; not at all?

BB: I dunno. Ask that one elf, er, um, Legolas! That was it!

Aut: Why? *Legolas appears melodramatically*

Leggy: {melodramatically}Why not? All know that er, um, — what are we called anyway? Elves, that’s it!–elves are the wisest creatures.

Ear: Then cool Leggy can answer my cool question! How can a cool night be cool in no degree, not at all?

Leggy: {melodramatically} Alas, alas, a question I cannot answer! Oh, may death come swiftly to hide my shame! *falls down melodramatically* See, I am already close to death! Namarie, kemen! *dies melodramatically* Lo, I am dead! *disappears melodramatically* *Bilbo disappears*

Tal: I feel as if I should be giving a definition.

Lab: Well, that was random! /And passed and never sight he saw . . . /

Ear: Hey! Noone has answered my cool question!

Aut: Ask Mandos when he gets here. *Mandos enters*

Ear: Cool Mandos! How can a cool night be cool In no degree; not at all? *Mandos points to his mouth and shakes his head*

Mac: Don’t you know? Mandos will speak only when it is commanded by Manwe! *Mandos nods empathetically* [FYI: mac is short for Macilwen, which is “swordmaiden” in Q/S. Also is me.]

Ear: Cool!

Lab: OK, as noone has any (relevant) comments on the last line, I will go on. /of shining shores or light he sought./

Ear: What cool shores did I cool seek?

Aut: Valinor, I presume.

Ear: Presume?

Tal. Presume. take to be the case or to be true. I hate my name.

Aut: Talk to you after cla–no chapter.

All {except A+T}: Ooooooh, Taliesin’s in trouble! Demerits, demerits. [FYI: demerits are what you get if you misbehave or don’t pass dress check or don’t do your homework at Faith Christian School. This is a normal happening.]

Ear: Cool! *rather long silence*

Lab: As everyone seems to be out of something to say . . . /The winds of wrath came driving him . . . /

Ear: Cool wrath?

Tal: *fuming* wrath. (a. intense anger. (b. The condition I am currently in.

All: Anger management classes!

Ear: I’m cool not /done!/ How can cool winds cool drive?

Aut: Oh no. Let’s just skip to the part where Leggy dies. *Leggy appears melodramatically*

Leggy: {melodramatically} why would we want to do that?

Aut: I dunno. Why?

Leggy: {melodramatically} Ai, a question I cannot answer! Eheu, the second question unanswerable! Oh may death take away the curse of shame! Nai hiruvanye gurth! *falls on floor melodramatically* Si gurth hirienyas! Namarie, kemen! *dies melodramatically* Ai, nanye firn! *disappears melodramatically*

Tal: “Nai hiruvanye gurth!” means “Be it that I will find death!” “Si gurth hiranyas!” means “Now death (it) has found me!” “Namarie, Kemen!” means “Farewell, earth!” “Ai, nanye firn!” means “Alas, I am dead!” This guy was weird!

Aut: Say, Mac, get Las (not Leggy) to check your Q/S. I think it’s a bit off.

Mac: Bug off, Aut. *Aut sulks in corner for about 3 sec and then comes back*

Lab: Tal, you forgot Eheu.

Tal: {fuming} it’s |/TALIESIN!!!!!!!!/| {unfuming} Eheu. Alas. Latin.

Lab: Thanks, Tal!

Tal: Must . . . . kill . . . . Lab . . . . must . . . . kill . . . . Lab . . . . Lab . . . you . . . must . . . die

All: Anger management classes AND demerits! Ooooooh!

Ear: How can cool winds cool drive?

Mac: Shut your mouth upwards. Oh, and I’m higher up on the power chain than Aut is *Aut sulks* so you have to do what I say.

Ear: cool darn.

Lab: Ummmmmm . . . /and blindly in the foam he fled . . . /

Ear: You MEAN I cool LOST my cool SIGHT????!!!??

Aut: NO, you just temporarily couldn’t tell where you were going.

Ear: cool!

Lab: Is there anything else or shall I go on?

Ear: Why did I cool flee?

Aut: Oh no. Is there anyone who can answer this or is Leggy going to have to die again? *Leggy appears melodramatically*

Leggy: Finally, one that I do know! {melodramatically} You were fleeing because *fanfare* the winds of wrath were driving you! *disappears melodramatically*

Lab: From west to east and errandless
Unheralded he homeward sped.
Ear: so my cool home is in the cool east? Cool oh no!
Aut: no, it was just further east than where you were. You were up by Tol Eressea.
Ear: I cool knew that.
Aut: really.
Ear: No cool really! I cool did! Oh, and that’s cool all. So, for cool Manwe’s sake *evil look from Mandos* er, for cool Mandos’s sake *Mandos looks gratified and sits down* go on!
Lab: Oh no. This is going to be funny. *Aut, Tal, and Mac start laughing; they know what’s coming {duh duh duh DUH}* There flying Elwing came to him . . . *joins Aut, Tal, and Mac in laughing*
Ear: Who’s cool Elwing? **Aut Tal Mac and Lab rolling on the floor, attracting lots of strange looks** What’s so cool funny? **Elwing comes running in** [curiously] who’s this? **Elwing throws herself at him and hangs off of his neck** [by now thoroughly confused] Ummmm . . . hi?
Elw (if you don’t remember who she is {i.e. if you haven’t read the Silmarillion} you have two choices. One, go buy The Silmarillion [recommended] two, go back to chapter one.): Eärendil, Eärendil, utuvienyelye! Utuvienyelye! {Oh, btw, it would be GREATLY appreciated if my Q/S would be corrected. Las, I know you told me, but I didn’t take notes **bangs head on keyboard** so I forgot.}
Ear: ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? (i/ e. very confused.)
Tal: **stops rolling on the ground laughing long enough to say . . . ** Utuvienyelye! — I have found you. **rolls on the ground laughing again**
Aut etc.: **rolling on ground laughing** **the typist sneezes about five times**
Ear: Who cool are you? **Elwing straightens up suddenly and scrutinizes Ear closely**
Elw: You do not remember me! You do not remember me! May it be that I will be sent back swiftly so that I can kill myself! Ai, ai, a, ai! Eheu! Ai! Eheu! **starts crying very loudly**
Ear: {looking a bit coo– oops, didn’t mean that — concerned} Ummmm . . . of cool course I cool remember you! **Elwing stops crying and scrutinizes him again**
Elw: Really. Ah well. Are the Elr’s (oh, the dreaded!) anywhere around here? **Manwe enters; Mandos waves hand wildly to get his attention**
Manwe: Speak, Mandos. {Note by Mac (who has replaced the Aut; whoo-hoo!) This is about all that Manwe is going to say (he says it multiple times) so get used to it! Nyah!}
Mandos: I think they’re alive. Manwe can we quit this arrangement?
Manwe: No.
Elw: Ai, eheu, ai, ai! My sons are alive, yet I am dead! Ai, eheu, ai! **Mandos again waves hand frantically**
Manwe: Speak, Mandos.
Mandos: Lo, the gift of foresight — and of using long words– is upon me! I foresee that thine son Elros shall become like as unto Gil-galad, only as unto a Man also. A great King of Men shall he be. This is his doom; as a Peredhel he might choose his doom, and his doom that he shall choose shall be the doom that is like as unto the doom of Men. Moreover, he shall see death, but not for diu. **A cliff appears pessimistically as Mandos stops to draw breath, a very hard undertaking. For how does one draw breath?**
Elw: Ai, ai, ai! Nevermore shall I see my son Elros! Nevermore! Ai, A! ai! **throws herself off the cliff; cliff disappears pessimistically; Elwing reappears through the floor** OK. Now what about that rotten stinker, Elrond? I never liked him. He wasn’t heem at all. (Note by Mac: I’m sure that Elwing liked both her twin sons equally well. I was just being random –when did I write this, anyway? — oh, about three months ago) **Mandos again again waves hand frantically (He’s goin’ to be doin’ a lot o’ this, so get used t’ it!)**
Ear: Cool! or should it cool be cool “not cool”? I cool don’t know. {goes on talking to himself about the laws of grammar and an unrecognizable woman who happens to be his wife.}
Manwe: Speak Mandos.
Mandos: However, Elrond’s doom shall be like as unto the doom of the Eldar and the Noldor. Lo, he shall be the great herald of Gil-galad, the great Elven-king whose march shall bring him into the darkest country, the country of Mordor. His doom shall be also to be like as unto a counselor to a halfling, hobbit, perian of a land known by the name of the Shire, whose doom shall be to destroy the Lord Sauron.
Elw: Darn. I never liked the kid. No good reason, but I don’t.
Elrond: MoooOOOOooMMMM!!!!! Hey!!!!!! **bursts out sobbing** My mother doesn’t like me! My mother doesn’t like me! Waaaaaaahhhhhh! Waaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Elw: Oh, just shut your mouth upwards. Did you just die?
Elrond: **sniffle sniffle** kind of doi, Mom.
Elw: {mutters} and more’s the pity. **Mandos waves hand frantically**
Manwe: Speak, Mandos.
Mandos: May I utter a decree unto Labyn —
Lab: **Dances around in a circle** {sings} someone used my full name, someone used my full name, someone used my full name **Mandos waves hand frantically**
Manwe: Speak, Mandos.
Mandos: {very quickly} I hereby utter a decree unto Labyn to continue with his epic.
Lab: **still dancing and singing** Someone used my full name, someone used my full name, someone — oh. **stops dancing and singing** Anyways, And flame was in the darkness lit . . .
Ear: You cool mean someone cool had a cool lighter and they cool used it! **Looks very pleased with himself and is very puffed up**
Elw: Well, doi, no! Lighters weren’t invented then. Don’t you know anything?
Ear: **Deflates** Oh. **Brightens up** cool!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Aut: I was supposed to talk to you after chapter.
Tal: Right.
Aut: To give you demerits.
Tal: Why?
Aut: Because you hate your name and because you had disrespect for my high and noble aut-ity.
Tal: Aut-ity?
Aut: Authority. Anyways, would you rather be named Bob or Taliesin?
Tal: Taliesin.
Aut: Dagordacil or Taliesin?
Tal: Taliesin. I don’t feel an overpowering desire to be called “Dag.”
Aut: then you’re stuck with Taliesin.
Tal: I still hate my name.
*aut holds out a demerit…form-thing.*
Aut: Sign this, please!
Tal: Darn.