There is another knock on the door, and Rosie opens it.
Secret Intelligence Man: (in a robotic voice) Gandalf, you have just been switched from senator to Secret Intelligence.
Gandalf: Oh goody gumdrops!
SIM: You will no longer use phrases such as ‘goody gumdrops’ Gandalf. If you are excited, you may emit a contained ‘Yay’ but that is all. Do you accept these terms?
Gandalf: I guess.
SIM: Yay. Yay. Come with me Gandalf.
SIM and Gandalf leave.
Elrond: Excitable fellow, isn’t he? Well, what now?
Aragorn: I feel like yelling at someone.
Elrond: That’s my job!
Aragorn: Sorry. What can I do? (His cellphone rings.) Hello? Oh, wonderful! I’ll tell them.
Arwen: Tell us what?
Aragorn: Saruman just got elected president of the ‘Save the Trees’ campaign.
Gandalf: (popping out of nowhere) Yay. Yay.
SIM: Very good.
There is another knock on the door, and before Rosie can open it, a man bursts in, knocking her unconsious. Arwen calls an ambulance, and discovers that the man on the phone is her old boyfriend, and begins chatting.
Man: Which one of you is Arwen Un-unda-undi-umbrella-um, which one of you is a woman?
Everyone points to everyone else. The man walks up to Legolas.
Man: Um, you wouldn’t happen to be Arwen Umbrella, would you?
Legolas: I am outraged!
Man: Well, pardon me Miss Outraged, I’m looking for Arwen Umbrella.
Elrond: She’s over there on the phone.
Man: Now why would anyone in their right mind be sitting on the phone?
Elrond: Do I have to answer that?
Arwen hangs up.
Man: Are you Miss Arwen Umbrella?
Arwen: No.
Man: I thought you said this was her!
Everyone: (Hit themselves in the head.)
Arwen: What do you want.
Man: Um, I’m from the Acme Building Company, and I’m here to tell you that your Bath and Bodyworks building is finished.
Arwen and Legolas: Hurray!
Gandalf: (again popping in out of nowhere) Yay. Yay.

Legolas and Arwen rush off after the Man, and Rosie is still on the floor, unconcious.

Pippin: Oh, my cell phone! (He answers it) Hello? Yes, this is he. Oh, boy! (He hangs up his cell phone.)
Merry: What is it?
Pippin: We just got elected the presedential food tasters!
Merry: Oh boy!
Gandalf: (pops in, but before he can say anything, Boromir and Eowyn push him out the window.)

Merry and Pippin rush off to start their new job, and Gimli sits down on Rosie.

Gimli: I’m bored. Anyone want to call a random phone number and hang up?
Boromir: We did that last week.
Aragorn: Why can’t we all go home?
Elrond: I don’t know. Why can’t we?
Galadriel: I see no reason not to.
Eowyn: I smell something burning.
Legolas: (Looks startled) My spinach puffs! (He rushes off)
Aragorn: Well, I guess I’ll go *heh heh* (he pats his stomach) rule my kingdom some more. (He smirks at Boromir) It’s really too bad about you not being king and all, but, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
Sam: Which way?!
Galadriel: (points down) That way.
Sam: (drops to the floor and in Bugs Bunny fashion goes underground.)
Aragorn: (Goes out the door)
Boromir: (growls) I wish I were king.
Galadriel: Well, that’s it for me. I’m heading home.
Frodo: Home on the range! Where the deer…
Gimli: (Slaps Frodo) Quiet please.
Frodo: Why? Were not in a library……with Ma—rian. The Libra—rian.
Galadriel: Now you’ve gone and got that stuck in my head. GoodBYE!
Frodo: What is good…about goodbye! Where is the sin….in sincere…….!
Boromir: I’m outta here.
Gimli: Me too.
Eowyn: Me three.
Frodo: Three blind mice….three blind mice……

TBC