After everyone ate dinner, they all adjourned to the meeting room.

Elrond: Well, what now?
Arwen: Well, I’ve invited a special guest to come a speak today.
Legolas: Who?
Arwen: Smaug, our official treasurer. I thought he might be a good consultant for us.
Aragorn: Arwen baby, you know Smaug is a horrible speaker. I hate him.
Arwen: (mutters)Well what do I care, I hate you. (Louder)Besides, you’re no speaker yourself.
Aragorn: I am too.
Arwen: Are not.
Aragorn: Are too.
Arwen:(who decides to use reverse psychology on him) Are too.
Aragorn: Are not!
Arwen: Are too!
Aragorn: I AM NOT A GOOD SPEAKER, ALRIGHT! What?
Arwen: I told you. Well, I’m going to call him to see if he’s coming.
Aragorn: Oh, let me, darling.
Arwen: Hands off. Oh, alright, go ahead.
Elrond: (mutters)I don’t know. Last time we let Aragorn use the phone he almost choked himself to death on the cord. Not to mention ordering us 100 trampolines on accident. Then he sent them to the ‘Emperor’s New Groove’ set.
Emperor Kusko: So that’s how they got there.
Galadriel: Bug off.
Aragorn: (goes to the phone and dials Smaug’s number, looks around to see if anyone is watching, but Legolas and Boromir have everyone’s attention as they argue over who’s father is the meanest, so no one sees him hang the phone up, and then put it to his ear.) Hello, Smaug. Yes, this is Aragorn. (Begins talking loudly) You broke your wing! Oh no! (Arwen walks over and listens.) Well that’s too bad, I- (looks up at Arwen as the phone really rings. Arwen takes the phone from him.
Arwen: Hello? Gimli, yes, he’s here! Hey Gimli, it’s the seven dwarves!
Gimli: I know what they want, they want me to get Legolas to go kiss Snow White ‘cause they’re tired of having a dead dame on their hands, and the answer is no!
Arwen: He said no. Okay. Bye! (Hangs phone up.) Now Aragorn, you are going to call Smaug for real, Right now! Understand?
Aragorn calls Smaug, and finds that indeed, he is still coming. After a while, they hear a pounding noise, and Rosie opens the door.
Smaug: (with a lisp) Well hiyah, folks! What’s cookin’?
Gandalf: Smaug, have you been drinking?
Smaug: Well you don’t get this way from eatin’ peanuts!
Arwen: OK Smaug, go on with your speech.
Everyone knows what a horrible speaker Smaug is, and they immediately start talking all at once.
Smaug: Ladies and Gentlemen! Ladies and Gentlemen! Eh, pipe down, will ya’! ‘Ey! He brings out a bottle of wine, and pops the cork out. Everyone immediately shuts up, except for Aragorn, but he is silenced when the cork flies into his mouth.
Smaug: Eh that did it. Ladies and Gentlemen, due to the fact that Monday comes on Tuesday this Wednesday, the meeting that we were going to have Thursday will be moved to Friday this Saturday ‘cause Sunday’s a holiday.
Everyone murmurs, trying to make sense of this, forgetting that they are presently having the meeting that Smaug is talking about.
Smaug: Anyway, about this ring thing, I say, I’ll eat it, and that will be that.
Galadriel: That sounds about right. I’m all for it, as long as you eat my daughter’s ring too.
Arwen: And mine!
Rosie: And mine!
Eowyn: And mine!
Smaug: Alright, alright, I’ll do it. On one condition.
Eowyn: What’s that?
Smaug: I don’t know, I gotta think of one. That’s what they always say on TV. See, these guys wanted these other-
Gandalf: Uh, Smaug, we don’t wanna hear it.
Smaug: Oh darn. Well, I’ll think o’ something. You bring the rings to my house tomorrow, and I’ll eat them.
He goes out the door.
Aragorn: By the way, how do you get to Smaug’s house?
Arwen: By a stubborn old mule. Did you ever ride a stubborn old mule?
Aragorn: No.
Arwen: Well then you’d better get on to yourself.
Aragorn. Hmmhmmm. That’s a very funny joke, I think I’ll try it on Leggy. Hey Leggy!
Legolas: Yes?
Aragorn: Did you ever ride a stubborn old mule?
Legolas: No.
Aragorn: Well then hop on my back. What?
There is another knock on the door, and Rosie opens it.