Meanwhile…..

Eomer: *in a helicopter* Calling Prince of Ithilien, do you read me, over and out.

Faramir: *Also in helicopter* You don’t have to page me, I’m sitting right next to you.

Eomer: Oh yeah. Heh. What is it?

Eomer: Well anyway, I can see Mt. Rushmore.

Faramir: Eomer, I can see it too. BECAUSE YOU’RE ABOUT TO CRASH INTO IT!!!!!!!!!

Eomer: Aaaahhhhhh!

Theoden: *in another helicopter* Horsemaster and Prince of Ithilien, are you alright?

Eomer: Yep, I did my Millenium Falcom maneuver and we’re alright. Thanks for caring, Rohan King, you’ll be getting a Halmark card in the mail.

Theoden: Landing spot in sight, Horsemaster, over and out.

Eomer: I see it, Rohan King. You wanna land first, or should I?

Theoden: Go ahead.

Eomer: No, you go ahead.

Theoden: No, you go ahead.

Eomer: Well alright.

Theoden: No wait, let’s try again. No, you go ahead.

Eomer: Nah-uh, you’re too late.

Theoden: *mutters* darn, curse you. *starts swearing*

Eomer: Rohan King, you forgot to turn your headset off.

Theoden: Ummm……….oops.

They land, and climb out of the helicopters.

Faramir: Have you ever seen the Cary Grant movie ‘North by Northwest’? See, it’s a mystery, and at one part the good guys are chasing the bad guys all over Mt Rushmore, and the girl-

Theoden: Um, I don’t really wanna hear it.

Faramir: You’re just mad ‘cause you had to land last.

Theoden: Am not.

Faramir: I’m not gonna argue.

Theoden: You are too.

Faramir: MmMmm. I won’t. Lalala, I’m not listening.

Theoden: Am not. Am not. You are too listening, I know it! Argue with me, pleeeaaase? You’re mean. I’m not talking you you.

Eomer: Theoden, I hate to break it to you, but actually, you *are* talking to him.

Theoden: Am not.

Eomer and Faramir: *slap heads*

Eomer’s cellphone rings.

Eomer: Hello, you are speaking to Eomer son of Eomund. If you sell insurance, buy some for yourself, you’ll need it when I get hold of you. If you are calling about the presidential thing, I’m working on it right now, if you are a telemarketer, buy some insurance from the insurance guy. If you are Mexican and don’t comprendo, press 2-er, dos, and I’ll translate as best I can.

Gandalf: Eomer, it’s me, your chief.

Eomer: Oh, sorry. If you are in Indian, HOW would you like a-

Gandalf: Eomer, it’s Gandalf!

Eomer: OH! Hey boss. Whassup?

Gandalf: Are you on Mt. Rushmore yet?

Eomer: Just landed, boss. Couldn’t you tell? If we were still in the copter, you would hear it.

Gandalf: Well, see, I’ve got this strange ringing in my ears.

Eomer: Had another party last night, did you?

Gandalf: That’s none of your business! Yes. Anyway, hurry up, quick! *hangs up*

Eomer: Ten four! *hangs up also* Boss says we’d better hurry.

They scamper across the mountain.

That same day……

Sam: Hey Mister Frodo. What up?

Frodo: *sniff* Aragorn banned pipe-weed. Did you hear?

Sam: Oh, is that what Pippin and Merry were crying about. All I could understand was ‘I hate him I hate him!’

Frodo: Mmhmm. So do I.

Sam: Yep, he’s puttin’ a clench on gardenin’ too. *sigh* He says only girls can garden now.

Frodo: Poor Sam. I’m sorry. He’s about to pass a law banning round doors too.

Sam: I hope Mr. Gandalf and them find the rightful president soon.

Meanwhile……….

Galadriel: Elrond! You’re just the man I wanted to see!

Elrond: *with a proud grin on his face* Ha! I bet you never thought I’d amount to anything, did you? And now look at me, a presidential advisor!

Galadriel: Just what I wanted to talk to you about! You! You are the one that banned tree houses, aren’t you?

Elrond: Well I-

Galadriel: I knew it! Uhhhhgggghhhh! *stomps off*

Elrond: But I’m afraid of heights. *sniff*

Celebrian: Ah HA! Found you at last!

Elrond: Look, darling, dearest, I can explain, OK?

Celebrian: No amount of explaining can fix this! Oh no, uh-uh! Nada, zilch, nyet! Get the picture? You were the one that passed the law saying that everyone had to drive a bug! You! And I just happen to have a Honda! I got stopped SEVEN times on my way home! And I got SEVEN tickets! And they made me listen to Clay Aiken all the way!

Elrond: Now THAT wasn’t my doing.

Celebrian: Ah ha, but you made up the no treehouse law! And the no birdbath law! What’s mother supposed to do know, sit home and knit?

Elrond: Well, as a matter of fact-

Celebrian: I am calling my lawyer!

Elrond: Uh oh. You can’t.

Celebrian: And why not?

Elrond: Well, Aragorn banned those too. You have to be a tree hugger to get into court. It’s kind of a pain. Treebeard made that rule, though, he’s in the senate and everything.

Celebrian: I just might KILL that Ellessar!

That night……..

Theoden: Pssst. Eomer. Look!

Eomer: It’s the president! We found him!

Theoden: Um, beg your pardon, but *I* found him.

Eomer: Oh boy.

Theoden: I did too.

Eomer: ………?

Theoden: Did too did too did too!