The Fellowship of the Ring was enjoying one of its lighter moments in Hollin. Merry and Pippin were wrestling with Boromir, while Aragorn watched, laughing and smoking his pipe. Sam was cooking a meal of potatoes and bacon over the fire, and Frodo and Gandalf were having a conversation. Legolas was looking over the land, enjoying the nature of the deserted land.

Legolas was the first to notice the strange sight. “Gandalf,” he whispered, not wanting to frighten Frodo, “do you see that cloud in the West?” Gandalf squinted and looked to the West.

“Yes,” he whispered back, nodding.

“What could it be?” Legolas asked.

“What’s wrong, Gandalf?” Frodo asked. Gandalf shushed him, and continued to look to the West.

“It is approaching rapidly!” Legolas said.

“Gandalf!” Frodo nagged, “What’s wrong?” Gandalf shushed him again, louder.

“Gandalf! A shadow passes from the West!” Aragorn announced.

“We know,” Gandalf answered.

Within a minute, the entire Fellowship knew of the shadowy presence. Pippin began to panic when it was only yards away from their campsite. Gandalf had to threaten the young Hobbit with his staff to get him to be quiet.

At last the shadow reached them, and from it appeared the three strangest people the 9 travelers had ever seen in their lives.

Han Solo was having problems with his ship The Millennium Falcon, and not for the first time. “Han!” Leia screamed, “Put it into lightspeed now!”

“I did!” Han shouted back, getting worried and mad, “She won’t jump!”

“Can’t you-” Luke began, but Han cut him off angrily.

“Would you shut up!?” he snapped. Then, in one last effort, he jerked a knob with all of his strength, and the Falcon jumped into lightspeed just before an Imperial ship made its mark. But instead of coming out of lightspeed and finding themselves farther out in space, they found themselves in Middle-Earth.

The 9 travelers stared at the 3 Rebels for several seconds, until Han could take no more. “I think we made a wrong turn,” he said sarcastically. Leia decided she could take no more. She immediately began throwing insults at the captain and pointing out every mistake he had ever made in a chain of flaming words. Luke, however, actually realized there were people in front of him, and that they were just as puzzled as he was. Their blank stares said so.

“Aaah… I’m Luke Skywalker,” he introduced himself, “I’m a Jedi Knight. Where exactly am I?” He tried his best to sound polite, but it’s kind of difficult when the people you’re speaking to don’t know what a Jedi is.

Gandalf cautiously stepped forward. “I am Gandalf the Grey, and you’re in Middle-Earth,” he said. Luke didn’t understand, but he decided he wouldn’t ask.

“The two ummm… arguing people are my friends Princess Leia and Captain Han Solo,” Luke introduced for Leia and Han. Han snapped his head around at the mention of his name.

“Captain?” Boromir questioned, studying Solo’s looks, and deciding he wasn’t fit to be captain of an army.

“Yeah, got a problem with it?” Han asked in a disrespecting voice. Gandalf, Aragorn, and Boromir frowned at him. Legolas stepped out.

“I am Legolas, son of Thranduil, King of Mirkwood,” he said, bowing.

“Would that by any chance make you a Prince?” Luke asked, trying to sound polite. Legolas nodded but said nothing.

“My name is Aragorn, son of Arathorn,” Aragorn said. Gandalf managed to get the Hobbits to come, forward.

“I’m, aah… Frodo Baggins,” Frodo said, still a bit scared of the newcomers.

“Merry Brandybuck,” Merry said.

“And I’m Pippin Took!” Pippin exclaimed.

“Samwise Gamgee,” Sam said.

“Great, now that we’re all happy and know each other, could you tell us how we get back?” Han asked, getting really annoyed.

“Where are you from?” Aragorn asked the strangers.

“We need to get back to Naboo,” Leia answered.

“Na-who?” Pippin inquired, earning a death-glare from Gandalf. He shrunk back into the grass.

“Naboo. Don’t you know where it is?” Leia asked.

“I’m afraid not,” Aragorn answered, “But I’ll do my best to help you.” Luke and Leia thanked him, while Han leaned up against a rock and crossed his arms.

Out of the blue, Legolas shouted “Crebian from Dunland!” and Aragorn added “Hide!” Han’s head shot up and Luke and Leia looked around frantically to obey Aragorn’s command. Han didn’t know what to think, and he didn’t really care to.

“Han!” Leia whispered, motioning for him to hide in the little rocky cave with her and Luke. Han unfolded his arms, and with a “Yes, your Worshipfulness,” reluctantly obeyed.

The crebian passed over, and the Fellowship decided to have a private meeting concerning their “visitors”.

“What do you all think of them?” Gandalf asked. Frodo stepped forward.

“What if they’re spies from Mordor? What if they want the Ring?” he asked frantically.

“You could be right, Frodo,” Aragorn said, “but I’m not certain I believe they are spies.”

“I like them! Leea, or whatever her name is, is pretty,” Pippin piped up.

“Nobody asked you, Pip,” Merry scolded his friend.

“Did too! Gandalf asked-” Pippin began.

“He wasn’t asking you!” Merry argued.

“Silence!” Gandalf boomed, drawing the Star Wars people’s attention.

“We must take them to Gondor!” Boromir said, “My father will know what to do!”

“Denethor would burn his own son!” Gandalf argued, “I don’t think I want him to deal with the strangers.” Boromir pondered this, then decided not to say anymore. After all, his father was getting rather strange.

“What about my father?” Legolas wondered out loud.

“NO!” Gandalf shouted. Legolas shrunk back.

“Take them to Lorien,” Aragorn suggested, “The Lady of the Wood will know what to do.”

Gandalf nodded, “A good decision, Aragorn.”

“But-” Gimli began to argue.

“Gimli! Shhh!” Legolas shushed the Dwarf.

Gandalf turned around to Luke, Leia, and Han. “We have decided on what to do,” he announced, “We will take you to Lorien. Lady Galadriel will tell you what you need to know.” Leia and Luke thanked the Wizard, but Han was suspicious… as usual.

“Lorien? How far is that by ship?” he asked. Aragorn raised an eyebrow.

“Ship?” he asked.

“Yeah. You been living under a rock?” Han asked.

“The only way to get to Lorien is on foot or horseback, and we have no horses,” Aragorn said.

“What’s a horse?” Han continued to question. That surprised everyone, and the Hobbits took a few steps back.

“We will travel on foot,” Gandalf confirmed, “We should reach Lorien within a month’s time.

“A month?” Han shouted.

“If you have a problem with it, you’re welcome to stay,” Gimli invited.

“I think I will,” Han yelled at the Dwarf.

“Han!” Luke yelled at the Captain.

“What?!” Han shouted back. Luke pulled him aside.

“Look, Han, we’ll never get to Naboo if we don’t go with them, and the Republic needs our help!” he said.

“Since when I did I fall into this?” Han asked, angrily, “What do I look like to you, a Jedi?”

Luke laughed a little, “Not at all. But you’re the only one who can get us there once we get back.”

“Without the Falcon,” Han said, “You want me to get you to Naboo without the Falcon? And what about Chewy? Where’s he?” Luke then realized they were in more trouble that he had thought. Han actually had a point, for once. He thought for a minute. While he was doing this, Leia broke the silence and stepped in between Luke and Han, and looked at Han with flames in her eyes.

“You’re coming with us whether you want to or not, understand? Stop being a-”

Han cut her off, “Fine, sweetheart. Whatever you say, your majesty.”

And so they set off, with Gandalf in front, Frodo beside him, then Legolas and Gimli, the rest of the Hobbits, Boromir, Aragorn, Luke and Leia, and Han falling behind.

Caradhras was where the real trouble began. Everything was the same as it would have been for the Fellowship, but the rest were having problems of their own. Luke was having horrible memories of a past experience you probably already know about. Leia was struggling desperately to keep walking, and Han was barely even trying. He was having bad flashbacks of eating his Ton-Ton, but I won’t talk about that.

“There is a foul voice in the wind!” Legolas shouted back to them. At that instant, the mountain began to quake. One second everyone was only cold, shivering, and could see little, and the next second they could see nothing, couldn’t breath, and were eating snow. Everyone shoved their way through the snow, and the Hobbits, and Han, began to complain.

“Gandalf! I’m cold! And wet! And hungry!” Pippin whined.

“Stop bothering him, Pippin!” Merry shouted at his cousin, “You couldn’t possibly be as miserable as me!”

“Gandalf,” Frodo squeaked, “Couldn’t we go through the mines?”

“No!” Gandalf shouted fearfully.

“But… Gandalf,” Frodo said, pretending to cry and cough, “I don’t think I can…” Then Frodo began to pretend to choke a little, trying desperately to convince Gandalf to go through Moria. It worked. Gandalf decided to have a little pity for the little Halflings and spare them death.

They reached the Gates of Moria the next day. “The letters read: Speak Friend and enter,” Gandalf said.

“This place reminds be of Dagoba,” Luke said.

“Dago-who?” Pippin asked.

“Dagoba, where Master Yoda once lived,” Luke answered. Pippin didn’t understand, and wanted to ask more questions, but Merry stopped him. The two Hobbits began throwing pebbles and rocks into the water. Aragon was too busy speaking to Han Solo to pay any attention to it.

“What’s the old man waiting for?” Han nagged.

Aragorn sighed, “The doors will only open if you speak the password.”

“Well, what’s the password?” Han continued. Aragorn began to answer, but heard Frodo.

“It’s a riddle,” the little Hobbit said, “Gandalf, what’s the Elvish word for friend?”

“Mellon,” Gandalf said, and the doors opened.

“Melon?” Han asked himself. Leia laughed and pushed him forward.

“Why is the ground so uneven and… crunchy?” Luke wondered.

“My Cousin Balin was never the tidiest Dwarf,” Gimli laughed. Pippin bent over to examine whatever he was stepping on, expecting it to be jewels or something, and soon let out the shrillest scream you’ve heard since the Nazgul. Boromir followed Pippin’s lead and examined the floor.

“This isn’t a mine! It’s a tomb!” he said. Gimli glanced down just long enough to see the hundreds of Dwarf-Skeletons scattered all over the floor. He let out a shout of surprise, then a scream of terror when he realized only one thing could have killed them.

“Goblins!” Legolas shouted.

“We should never have come here!” Boromir yelled at Gimli, as the Dwarf continued to wail. At that instant, a long, sleek tentacle reached into the mine and grabbed the now-screaming Frodo. Aragorn let out a battle cry and raced at the arm. He managed to hack it off and free Frodo. Luke, Leia, and Han were beginning to have more bad memories. This one was a memory of being in a certain garbage compressor on the Death Star.

“Why does everything on this journey reflect nearly every bad experience I’ve ever had?” Luke groaned.

“Coincidence,” Leia said.

“I call it bad luck,” Han said. That very moment, around 30 writhing tentacles emerged from the lake and snatched up Frodo once again. The poor little Hobbit started his screams of bloody-murder again, while Aragorn, Legolas, Boromir… well, pretty much everyone but Merry and Pippin tried desperately to rescue the Ring-Bearer. Of course, some had their flaws; like Han and Leia reaching for their laser pistols, only to find that they weren’t there. Luke also found his weapon missing, which certainly would have proved useful.

“Luke, aren’t you going to at least try to help?” Han shouted at the Jedi Knight.

“What do you want me to do, fist-fight it?!” Luke asked. At last the final blow was made, and Frodo was set free again. The nine… erm… 12, sprinted into the mine and avoided the creature’s grasp by only a bit before it shut the doors.

“Great. So now we’re stuck here,” Han said angrily. “Yes, it seems so,” Gandalf confirmed, trying desperately to quench his temptation to turn the space captain into a rat.

After many ears had heard plenty of “Sorry, Merry, I stepped on your foot,” and “that wasn’t me, that was Legolas,” and “That wasn’t me, that was Han Solo,” and “Yes, it was me to stepped on!” and “Ow! Han, why did you punch me?” and “I didn’t punch you, I punched the Dwarf,” and lastly “No, you punched me,” the 12 travelers’ eyes adjusted to the dark.

Soon Gimli rushed into a certain chamber and… you know what, let’s skip ahead to the part where everyone is crying because Gandalf just “died”.

“I’ve never seen anything like that before!” Luke said to Leia and Han. The three were recovering from their experience with the Balrog, and so far all they accomplished saying was just what Luke said.

“Come!” Aragorn said “We must continue on without him.”

“How far are we from our destination?” Leia asked.

“Your destination is only a two day journey from here,” Aragorn answered, “Our own lies on the other side of Middle-Earth, but you need not worry about it.”

“Where’s Mr. Frodo?” Sam asked, worry in his voice. The other 10 looked around for the little Hobbit frantically, until they found him walking away from them.

“Frodo! Where are you going?” Pippin cried. There were tears in Frodo’s eyes, but he slowly walked back to the company.

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Thanks for reading this much! I’ll update asap, but I’m currently working on like 3 other fanfics and a fictional book. Please review! Thanks! 🙂