The Lord of the Rinks: The Fellowship of the Rink by Faerie_Decay13
(A/N: The idea is partly my buddy Ceridwens….. the title is her dads. No offence any Legolas fans…)
THE LORD OF THE RINKS:
THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINK
Legolas stormed into the locker room. “Aragorn, mellon nin, I hate you.” The Ranger looked up. “Why, my dear elf.” Legolas pulled up his sleeve. “From practice yesterday. I have bruises bigger than your ego.”
“Bruises bigger than your ego” Aragorn mocked him. “If I remember correctly, mellon nin, you signed up for hockey.”
“I signed up because you told me it was a figure skating competition. I am not a hockey player.” He cringed as he said hockey. “I am a delicate-”
“PRISSY!” Elladan and Elhorir yelled out together.
“…. Elf who is not prissy. I have bruises in places I never thought could bruise. Mainly from you, Aragorn.”
“Oh….. the whole ‘Ranger-hits-puck-with-big-hockey-sword-but-misses-and-hits-nancy-elf-instead’ incident? It was an ‘accident’! I swear!” He winked at Elladan. Legolas looked like he could scream. “Look….. Legolas, I said I was sorry! Do you want a written apology?” Aragorn laughed.
“Alright. Now. We’re all in uniform…… so I’d like to introduce the new additions to the team since Gollum went crazy calling the puck his ‘precious.'” Coach Gandalf walked out. “Ok….. Middle Earth Moos….. where’s Chubby? Oh well….Here we go:
Aragorn and Legolas
WING:
(R) Elhorir
(L) Elladan
CENTER:
Glorfindel
GOALIE:
Elrond
MASCOT:
Chubby the Cow (Thranduil)’
“Ok….. any questions…” Gandalf looked around at his newly assembled team. “None? Ok. In the rink for practice!”
17 Comments
I love it! It’s awes-….. wait….. I wrote it….. Oh well. It still rocks!
hahaha chubby the cow is now my favorite mascot in middle earth go middle earth moos!
Hi! I really like your story so far, especially the first part. I hope there will be some more soon!
btw. do you like playing hockey? Personally i’ve never tried ice hockey but i play ordinary hockey and i detest it! But it’s so funny reading about it.Your story rocks!!
*sets herself back up on chair after falling off it from laughter* VERY FUNNY!!!! WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
VERY FUNNY!
*and….hit gandalf in the nose?* just a guess, lol I thought that was great! Keep up the good work!
I think that it’s an excellent start to the story. Any story with Legolas in is great. Keep it up!!!!!! I want to read on!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!! Leggy seems sooooooooooooo blond in this, meaning no offence to any blond people who might read this………….keep going!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*recovers from LOOOOOOONG laughing fit and wipes tears from eyes* this was soooo funny!!
Hmm. It’s a very cool concept, and it could really be made into a classic.
HOWEVER, the ‘prissy Legolas thing’ is getting to be trite. Now, I’m as LIG (Legolas is Girly) as anybody, but come on. This kind of story, ‘fraid not. Now, don’t get me wrong. Clean this sucker up, give it a more LOTR air, cut down on the ‘effeminate elf’ and you’ll be fine.
Ok….. the next chapter should be up in a few days….. and dont worry….. it wont be LIG for long! (wait til the first game!)
keep goin plez its awesome. A+++++
See! Not very LIG-ish anymore!
I don’t know if you care but this is what I think:
Chapter 1: Absouballyutely brilliant!
Chapter 2: I found that a bit boring!
Chapter 3: Quite side-splitting!
Chapter 4; Like the bit with Arwen but the rest of the time I’m just bloody scared on that on!
I luv it! write more!
Well, I’ll give you this — Legolas the Wimp has been utterly removed, LoL.
Now,I’ve got some compliments and some criticisms, so I’ll dish out the compliments first.
1. You’ve put LotR into hockey. That’s an accomplishment in and of itself.
2. You have effectively established the main characters and players, and have started the development of several of them.
3. You also have yet to mention their mascot in great detail, which is a plus considering it’s nature, Lol.
Now for criticisms…
1. Please cut the crazed fans, LoL. To my knowledge that only happened once, and that was at the old Blues/Philly game back in the ’70s, and that was the players attacking the fans. (Think Bobby Plager…) Way over-the-top.
2. I beg of you to describe the game a little more. Hockey action is easy to write because it’s EXCITING. The first period went by in like, four sentances.
3. Ok, so I should have clarified. I said ‘try making Legolas less girly’, and I should have also said not to make him end up like one of the ‘Broad Street Bullies’. It would have been better if he’d used that agility to cleverly eliminate them without the machoism.
4. This a mere technicality: the penalties. ‘Illegal checking’ could be a million and one things: boarding, cross-checking, slashing, etc.
Now for a suggestion: make the teams real teams (Flames, Sharks, Capitals, etc.) to give it a modern feel. If you watch any hockey at all, that can be a lot of fun. Think Martin Saint-Louis versus Legolas. Oh, and think of someone of more prodigious girth to play goalie — or have Gandalf suggest whatever-her-name-is to get fattened up so she can block shots, LoL.
The reason I haven’t added a chapter in a looooong time was because the 1st period utterly suked. I’ll introduce the 2nd team at intermission, and I’ll fix alot.