Over to the riders…

Gimli: Hey baby. *winks at Legolas*

Legolas: Why do I let you live, WHY?

Gimli: That’s a nice outfit Aragorn.

Aragorn: Thank you…

Gimli: But it would look better on my floor!

Aragorn: Why do you let him live?

Legolas: Wait, I remember now. IS THAT A SPIDER ON YOUR FACE!?!?

Gimli: AHHHHHH!!!!!! GET IT OFF!!! IT’S IN MY HAIR!!! AHHHHH!!!!

Aragorn: Minas Tirith calls for help!

Theoden: Then we wi-

Gimli: AHHHHH!! THE EVIL INVISIBLE SPIDER WILL KILL US ALL!! RUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!

Theoden: ROHAN WILL ANSWE-

Gimli: SPIDER!!!! AHHHHH!!!

Theoden: Does he have an off button!?

Legolas: He’ll pass out in a few minutes.

Aragorn: My sword can make an off button…

Gimli passes out…

Legolas: See.

The riders head out to rest outside the city for some reason…

Legolas: I’ll get Gimli. *kicks Gimli*

Gimli: Yo. *gets up*

Legolas: We are going.

They ride out but stop a few feet away from the town and camp…

Legolas: Why did we stop a few feet away from a heated, prosperous city?

Theoden: Err…we didn’t have enough room for all the riders.

Legolas: Then how did we all fit in for the party?

Theoden: Er…*walks away*

That night…

Gimli: PARTY!!!! *puts on the pink fuzzy thing*

Legolas: OH NO!!

They go into the tent and screaming is heard…

Elrond dramatically walks up the cliff to meet Aragorn…

Elrond: Ok…let me look at my notes…

~~NOTE~~
Aragorn, here is a sword.
~~END~~

Elrond: Perfect.

A shadowed figure walks behind him and switches his notes with his…

Elrond walks to Aragorn and they talk…

Elrond: Well.. ummm…*looks at note*

~~NOTE~~
Elrond meet me in the bright alley behind the police station.
~~END~~

Elrond: Err.. umm.. Aragorn.. here is a…weapon of some kind…*thinks to self* Come on baby, you can do this….*out loud* a.. um… SWORD.. yeah that’s it…anyway here it is…it is here and here it is…oh yeah…I should have given it to you sooner but I had to get Arwen out, but she came back…Anyway here it is.

Dramatic music starts to play.

Aragorn: The sword has been reforged! *swings word out from sheath and almost slices Elrond’s tiara*

Elrond: Watch it…this is Arwe- I mean…priceless.

Elrond: Anyway. Remember some dead mountain pass…what was the name…ummm.. Paths of the…something…I don’t know. But it is the creepy yet friendly looking mountain path over there.

The next day…

Legolas: Hey baby. *to Eowyn*

Eowyn: Hi.

Legolas: You come here often?

Eowyn: No, I usually don’t camp a few feet away from a heated town that has flourished greatly.

Legolas: Ahh… me neither.

Eowyn: *walks away*

Legolas: *follows after Eowyn* Wait up baby, You must be tired, you have been racing through my mind all day.

Eowyn: *slaps him*

Legolas: *thinks to self* SHE TOUCHED ME!!! MUST….NOT….SHOOT ARROW INTO NECK….

Eowyn walks away again but Legolas follows…

Eowyn: I don’t want to hear it.

Legolas: Just one minute.

Eowyn: Fin- IS THAT A SPIDER IN YOUR HAIR!!!

Legolas: OH MY GOSH! GET IT OFF!!! GET IT OFF!!! *swings madly around and knocks self out*

Eowyn: That worked out well…

Later that day…

Theoden: Come now peasants, stop worrying about your meaningless lives and let us ride to death!!!!! I mean err VICTORY!!!!

A few people cheer but it dies out rather quickly…

Aragorn: THE KING WILL RIDE THIS WAY!!! ANYONE WHO WANTS TO FOLLOW CAN COME!!!

Gimli: OOOOHHH! *runs next to Aragorn*

Legolas: I suppose they want me, come on Eowyn.

Eowyn reluctantly follows…

Aragorn: Sorry, we can only have three in all.

Legolas: Bye Gimli, ok let’s go.

Gimli: I am not going!

Aragorn: Since I am king I choose….EOWYN to leave.

Eowyn: Ok.

Legolas: NOOOOOO!!!

They walk to a mountain pass but Legolas spies on Eowyn through bushes

Eowyn: Do I even NEED a bodyguard?

Knight: Yes.

Eowyn: Then why do we have to hold hands? People are getting the wrong idea about us.

Knight: Would you rather have me repeatedly stab and shove you around?

Eowyn: Never mind.

Legolas: AHA! I KNEW YOU WERE LYING TO ME!

Eowyn: Ahem.

Aragorn: Come on!

Legolas: Fine.

Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas head into the mountain pass…

Legolas: Why did we have to take Gimli?

Aragorn: THE KING DOESN’T RESPOND TO STUPID QUESTIONS!

Gimli: Do you like my butt, Aragorn?

Aragorn: Well…

Legolas: And that wasn’t stupid?

Aragorn: Umm… is that an orc!

Legolas: Like I’d fall for that one.

Aragorn: Sorry, it’s just a mountain wall.

Legolas: A MOUNTAIN WALL!!! *turns around with camera*

Behind a bush near Aragorn…

Eowyn: So your plan to sneakily follow the three riders involves stepping on a lot of dry twigs?

SNAP!

Knight: Well these are big twigs.

Aragorn: Do you hear whispering and twig snapping?

Legolas: No.

Gimli: Time to exercise!

Legolas: Oh please no! Aragorn tell him no!

Aragorn doesn’t respond…

Legolas: Oh King Aragorn tell him no!

Aragorn: Ok, Bad Gimli, don’t pee on the horse!

Gimli: *starts to rip pants off*

Legolas: NOOOO!!!

SNAP!

Eowyn: Stop that already.

Legolas: *turns around and sees Eowyn and Knight* What are you doing here?

Eowyn: Oh umm hey… ummm… err…

Aragorn: Why are you here mortals?

Eowyn: We are-

Knight: *gasp* I know you! I faced you in an epic battle!

Aragorn: I chopped your arm off in about 5 seconds.

Knight: Well, let’s settle this, here and now!

Eowyn: No, you are my body guard and I order you not to.

Knight: *whispers something to Aragorn*

Aragorn: I am…*looks at hand* threatening you Eowyn…

Knight: Then I MUST save you Eowyn!

Eowyn: *sigh*

They both pull out their swords…