Twisted Little World by crazyelvenfangirl
Disclaimer: Yes, I have read Diary of a Fangirl and the VSD’s, but I didn’t copy them!!!! This is the diary of a fangirl from MIDDLE EARTH (well, me)!!!
Day 1: Set out from HQ–Smaug’s old lair. Aired out the place and put in thousands of posters and lifesizes and plushies. 36 in our pack. Going after Legolas and Pippin. Legolas first, because he’s closer.
Day 2: Nothing happening. So bored. Only thought of tasty elves keeping me awake and running with the rest.
Day 3: Same as yesterday.
Day 4: Ran into large group of orcs. They had shiny stuff. Chased them. They ran away screaming when they saw us. Shiny stuff is useless glass ball. Other fangirls tossed it but I secretly shoved it in my pack. Is V. pretty. Shiny stuff rocks!
Day 5: have discovered V. interesting fact–when I go all dreamy-dreamy about Legolas, I can see him in shiny glass thingy. V. cool. Will not show others just yet.
Day 8: finally! Arrived in Mirkwood today, disguised as convoy from Elrond. Ha. They believed us. Too busy nancing around in search for some giant spider thingies to notice some of us drooling. Poncy, lovely, gorgeous, adorable….must stop momenarily as am drooling all over diary.
I am back. …….gits. Anyway, have come up with cunning plan: all fangirls will keep heads down and look only at helmeted guards. Haha! Am truly a genius.
Day 9: Helmeted guards way too buff to look at. Are they TRYING to force us to give ourselves away?!?! Really, how likely is it that ALL the helmeted guards just HAPPEN to have their shirts off? Must stop…drooling again…
Day 10: Saw prettiest deer today! We were walking along, when it barreled through and ran over Titania. V. good, as she was poncy, stuck up dwarf in the first place. Now she is even shorter. Next thing we know, an arrow comes out of nowhere and KILLS the pretty deer!!!!! Evil hunter steps out of the woods to reveal that he is SEXY!!! He is also…..LEGOLAS!!!! Mass drooling, swooning, attacking sex god of an elf. He called for help, so we had to snog him to shut him up. Damge was done, though. Two other yummy elves came into clearing. All human/dwarf fangirls started to attack them both–soon found out one of them was female. Redoubled attack on yummy elven BOYS. Elleth ran away during confusion.
Day 11: Damn. Caught.
Day 12: haha! They only have 11 elves to guard us…and a lot of rope and tranquilizer. Talked to head elf, who looks very harried. Said his name was Seagoll Glenfare. Noticed it was anagram of Legolas Greenleaf. He said yes, he was Legolas’ little brother. Thrandiul apparently not very creative fellow. Am allowed to keep my diary. And read stuff that I made up to an audience, but must be kept in straitjacket and/or leash. They will eventually run out of tranquilizer. I hope. Hopefully, before long another Legolas-stalking pack will come along and free us. Heard there is another pack coming this way from Frodo-tracking in Shire in a week. They’d better damn well hurry up….
Day 13: TAKE YOUR TIME, GIRLS!!!! Really sexy elves guarding us!!! Must stop–drooling AGAIN!
Haha! Elven guards get nervous when we mutter and swear–they’re all males. Seeing as how Legolas is under armed guard (ERU DAMNIT!!!), may have to start on these yummy guys first. Why would they have an all-male guard?!?! Oh well–NOT COMPLAINING!!!!
Day 14: Haha! Almost all of us have broken free of damn ropes at some point or another but can’t get past sexy guards–too tempting. Now understand why we have all-male guard. Clever.
TO BE CONTINUED??????
Oh, yes, btw, “elleth” is Elvish for “female elf”. A friend pointed out that in the context of the story, “elleth” looked like a name. Just wanted to clear that up. SATISFIED, KATIE?!?!?! *grumble grumble*
38 Comments
This is so funny! Keep writing!
This is so funny! I luv it!
interesting…….. but nice, still…… interesting, oh! elves are yummy
This is awesome! Hey, can I b in it? If not, it’s still awsome, I can immagine my crazy friends(and me) doing something like this if we lived in ME.
This was hilarious! You know what you should do? Put in the story about Legolas and his twin brother and how they were cheating on us and…*gets carried away by husband*
hilarious. pls keeep on ritin
lol! Laughed my brain’s out! Loved it! Please please please write more! -gets on knees and begs- Pleaeeease?….
I’m on this thing to keep you Legguy fan girl’s away from my Pippin! And to be one of the sane ones when we’re around Elves! I love it though, it’s so funny, please can we go to the Shrie? If we kiddnapp Pippin then we could hold him for Randsom and we’ll let him go if you get Leggy. Thanks for doing me the honour of being a Pippin fangirl in a Leggy fan girl story. Write more, write lots more! It’s too good to stop! xxx
EruveElen
I thought that your story was VERY ingenious……(Heehee!!!) I happen to love Legolas also……..Of course…..next time you should take a more stealthier approach…….(like sneaking into his room and hypnotizing him…Heehee………
Hee, hee, hee! v. good. I wonder if the Frodo fan-girls would go all the way to the undying lands (that is the place over the sea isn’t it?). Liked how you added things from The Hobbit, as not many do. Can you PM me when you do more?
I like it. I like it a lot. I think it is very funny. Keep writing!
PLEASE FINISH IT!!!
i love pippin! this is great! itd be soooo much fun to make this into a movie ( i want to be an actress and/or director someday) yay! please continue!!!!!!
well, iluvpippin116, i’ll let you make this into a movie IF i can be in it… ok? I PROMISE I’LL WRITE MORE THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!
Hey, not too bad. You should continue writting if you enjoy it.
Cheers
Cleire
Keep Writing *in Dangerous voice* btw, my name’s Flic, I like Leggy + Frodo, there has to be at least ONE!! 😉
V. good!!!!!!! I want to see what happens next!
omg, I completely forgot I volunteered to be a Pippin fangirl…I was supposed to make a special name up, wasn’t i? Oh well. Aw man, how could Pippin leave! I don’t care about the other Pippin fangirls. I get him first!!! LOL. j/k
Anyway great story and write more soon.
Very cool, especially as it captures the essence of fangirl perfectly. YAY!! Write more soon, please!
(And I didn’t think the “bad” chapters were that bad…they served their purpose.)
I lurve it! My sis lurves it too, she’s right behind me!
hey, its funny. keep going. CoE is the only thing on my internet that works, which actually is quite convenient, so I need SOMETHING to survive! But I think when you were in Mirkwood, you should have waited for the load of tranquilizer to arrive, and then got the best-climbing/shooting fangirl to climb a tree and jump down when the guards were sleeping. Then, she should shoot THEM with tranquilizer, and you could all sleep with them and then run off. there.
I have Friday off this week, so i PROMISE i’ll add at LEAST 1 new chapter for all of my fanfics!!!! ^.^ *sniffle* YAY PPL HEART MY FICS!!!!! Hang in there yall….
mawhahaha! You can never gag me!!! Thanks for includung me, I can only hope to get more annoying. This story rocks monkeys. xxx
EruveElen
I thought ur story ROCKED!!!….screw whoever thinks it wasn’t….*shakes fist*……i like elves but i LOVE FRODO……..u hafta continue w/ ur story…it really is good…..continue damn u *shakes fist*lol….
anywayz ttyl…Tigerlily
OOOH SO funny!!! I wanna be a carzed Fangirl! Please? *begs and gives fabulous gifts*
Very good, have you made a sequel yet? Like the bit about drooling.
I like it a lot!!!!! How many more chapters? Can you put me in one? Please please please pretty please? I’m Willow by the way.
Very good
*hug* You’re awesome and uber-spifftaculsome! Keep writing this is V. V. funny.
haha this is funny! Keep going!
Hysterically funny- innuendo excellent. Do mention if the Balrog and Gollum have fangirls, and please keep writing this!
I love it!!! Finish it!!!
Here, my name’s Anna. I’m a Aragorn/Legolas Fangirl.
very funny, i laughed at every word even when nothing about that word was funny o.o i’m a nazgul fangirl, and if i had the chance i’d hogtie one and drag him to the prancing pony and hug him to death… by the way wavecaller, i know a gollum fangirl. she usually quotes,”he’s so hot it hurts,” and that is scientific proof that all gollum fans are radioactive and unstable. and even though i’m a balrog fangirl too, i wouldn’t hug them o.o
Yay! u posted more!! i keep checkin when i come on…i kno pathetic…lol but ur fanfics so good!! lol could u plz plz plz put me in as a frodo fan prsn…names Tigerlily…oh…it says it when i said it..lol meh…see ya!!
once again, a brilliant triumph. keep it up and keep me laughing.
Excellent.
ARG i am so very sorry i have not updated…my computer crashed and i lost everything i was working on…*sniffle* give me another week or two–i PROMISE i’ll have another chapter AT LEAST of EVERYTHING up by christmas!!!!!!
very funny, i like it a lot. =]