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Eruantalincë
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Post The Ring poem translated, check please?
on: November 22, 2003 06:38
Aiya ilquen,
I tried to translate the poem of the Ring (with the four famous sentences). Could anyone please check the translation?

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky
Neldë Cormar Aranin Eldalion nún Menel
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone
Otso (Cormar?) Heruin Naucorion mí hrótaranta ondorion
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die
Nertë (Cormar?) Atanin ya umbartien firmë
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
Minë Herun Mornio mahalmassen mornië
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie
Mí nórë Mordor yassen i Huinen lumnar
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them
Minë Corma herit ilyen, Minë Corma hirit
One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them
Minë Corma hostat ilyen, ar mí i mornië avaleryat
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie
Mí nórë Mordor yassen i Huinen lumnar

Thanks in advance for checking .

[Edited on 22/11/2003 by Eruantalincë]
Eruantalincë
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Post RE: The Ring poem translated, check please?
on: November 24, 2003 02:16
P.S. Searched the internet for a translation, but I couldn't find it. So if anyone has a link, that would be welcome as well.
Malinornë
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Post RE: The Ring poem translated, check please?
on: November 25, 2003 01:16
Aiya Eruantalincë!
I've found a link for you, to "Fellowship of the Word-smiths". This site has more Sindarin than Quenya, but it is still very useful. But, when you check how the Ring verse is translated by this other person, bear in mind that it isn't the only "right" way to do it, so don't be discouraged if you find many differences between that and your own translation.
/ Mal

http://www.elvish.org/gwaith/ringpoemq.htm
Eruantalincë
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Post RE: The Ring poem translated, check please?
on: November 25, 2003 02:39
Aiya Malinornë, ar hantalë.

I will compare that version to mine. If I find something worthy of discussion or if something confuses me, I will ask this question here.
Malinornë
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Post RE: The Ring poem translated, check please?
on: November 25, 2003 04:37
Yes, please do! We love discussion!
Camannar
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Post RE: The Ring poem translated, check please?
on: December 07, 2003 09:08
Well Done Eruantalincë, I think it has a nice ring to it. Yess, precious, there is my little idea of a joke. It's very nice sounding.

Cam~
Eruantalincë
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Post RE: The Ring poem translated, check please?
on: December 09, 2003 02:47
Aiya ilquen,
back again and I compared the translation of Maciej Garbowski (the one of who Mal gave the link) to mine. There are quite a few differences, so I will give it sentence by sentence (sit back and have a nice cup of coffee/tea). The sentences in red are my translations. I only can give my reasons to implement the grammar like I did.
Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky
Nelde cormar Eldaron Aranen nu vilya.
Nelde Cormar Aranin Eldalion nún Menel
I used this construction for I think 'cormar' refers to 'aranin' (-n used as 'for'), 'eldalion' as genitive in relation to aranin (kings of the Elves)
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone
Otso Heruin Naucoron ondeva mardentassen
Otso Heruin Naucoron mí hrótaranta ondorion
The suffix -n on Heru should be clear, as well as the genitive ending '-on' on Naucor. I used the word hróta for hall and the posessive 3rd-person ending '-nta', but the plural of 'hróta' could as well be 'hrotë' instead of 'hrótar'. The genitive form ondorion refers to what material the halls are made of, but it could as wel be 'ondorielva', I think.
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die
Nertë firime Nerin yar i Nuron martyar
Nerte Atanin ya umbartien firme
I used Atan instead of Nér, for I thought it referred to the race of Men, not to the gender. Therefore, I did not translate 'mortal', for Mankind is mortal. I used 'ya' in the way of 'who' and the perfect tense for umbartien, but this last 'n' is not necessary, I think. And 'firme' as infinitive of 'fir', but it could be as well replaced by the gerund (?)
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
Mine i morë Herun mormahalmaryasse.
Mine Herun Mornio mahalmassen mornie
The dative ending on Heru and the genitive Mornio, yes. For mahalmassen, maybe the 'n' should be replaced with 'r', mahalmasser (on his throne). O:blush:, and I see that mornie perhaps should be replaced with 'mórë' or something, for it is an adjective. In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie
Mornoreo Nóresse yassi i Fuini caitar (I thought 'caita' was for literally lying down?)
Mi nóre Mordor yassen i Huini lumnar
Literally: In (the) land Mordor where the glooms lie/are heavy
One Ring to rule them all. One Ring to find them
Mine Corma turië te ilye, mine Corma hirië te (seems like the writer used the gerund?)
Mine Corma herit ilye. Mine Corma hirit
I used the infinitive for 'heru-' ([verb] to rule, to govern) and 'hir-' to find and the suffix -t for 'them'.
One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
Mine Corma hostië te ilye ar mordoresse nutië te.
Mine Corma hostat ilye ar mí i mornië avalyeryat
I used the (questionable) verb 'avalerya-' to translate 'to bind'. I did not use the locative for 'in the darkness', for I do not know if it will be a correct use (it is only planned to bind 'them' in the darkness, they are not bound yet)

Well, that's my idea about translating the poem. So shoot.
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