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GillyWhitfootofHaysend
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Post A Song Translation
on: April 03, 2005 11:35
I translated this song from "Cold Mountain" awhile back.This is the song that is sung at the Church(by the Sacred Harp Singers).
Here it is:

Fairwell,vain world,i'm going home.-Navaer,ardhon___,Badithon mar,

My savior smiles and bids me come-Hiril nin raiad a pedad nin tolo,

And i don't care to stay here long.-A u-aniron______and hi.

Sweet angels beckon me away,-__________nin____.

To sing god's praise in endless day,-Glira Eru elgirad vi arad u-vethed.

And i don't care to stay here long.-A u-aniron______and hi.

Right up yonder,christians,-________,Cristans.

Oh,yes,my lord,for i don't plan to stay here long.-Ah,Yei,Hiril nin,or u-aniron______and hi.

I'm glad that i am born to die,-Im Gelir___Cuion gwanna,

From grief and woe my soul shall fly,-O_________Guren Reviatha.

And i don't care to stay here long.-A u-aniron______and hi.

Bright angels shall convey me home,-____________nin mar.

Away to new Jerusalem,_______Ieruselem___.

And i don't care to stay here long.-A u-aniron______and hi.
gwendeth
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Post RE: A Song Translation
on: April 03, 2005 02:26
With the usual S/N/NS 'disclaimer' - here's some suggestions. As always, they may not be the best but might give you ideas.
Fairwell,vain world,i'm going home.-Navaer,ardhon___,Badithon mar,

In what 'sense' is the word 'vain'? In the MSWord thesaurus one 'meaning' is 'empty' - cofn > gofn, lenited. Personally, and why it's so, I don't know but it 'feels' right to say "mar nín" to me. Not necessary of course.
My savior smiles and bids me come-Hiril nin raiad a pedad nin tolo,

One option for 'savior' I've seen is 'Beredir'. - don't forget the accent, "nín". "Peded" (with the 'e') is the gerund of 'ped-'. Somehow, I think this could be worded better. Where did you find/how did you construct 'raiad'? A little detail, please! Especially since I'd think a different 'case' than the gerund would be needed.
"Hiril" is female "Lady" - not sure why you chose that.
And i don't care to stay here long.-A u-aniron______and hi.

Ú-aniron darthad sí al lû and. (I don't want to stay here for [a] long time). Note: I don't really thing 'and' means 'long' in this sense - it's more of a 'physical length' thing, but in lieu of anything better... *sigh*
Sweet angels beckon me away,-__________nin____.

Now about:

Rodyn velui cano enni (divinities sweet call to me)
To sing god's praise in endless day,-Glira Eru elgirad vi arad u-vethed.

Glired/Linnad egleriad Eru ned arad al-vethed.

"To sing" would need the gerund form, I'd think. 'Ned' is used mostly in a 'temporal' sense rather than 'vi', I think.
Right up yonder,christians,-________,Cristans.

Perhaps, "Aphadrim en-Gristo" for Christians (followers of the Christ).

Maybe: "Ennas Aphadrim en-Gristo" (there Christians)
Oh,yes,my lord,for i don't plan to stay here long.-Ah,Yei,Hiril nin,or u-aniron______and hi.

Ai, Hîr nín...
I'm glad that i am born to die,-Im Gelir___Cuion gwanna,

I'd say:

Gerin 'ell i onnen gwannad

(I have joy that I am begotten to die)

"Gelir" is a noun, not a verb.
From grief and woe my soul shall fly,-O_________Guren Reviatha.

How about:

O nîr a naeth faer nín reviatha.

(From tears and woe spirit mine will fly)

Bright angels shall convey me home,-____________nin mar.

Rodyn gelair tegithar nin na mar nín
(Divinities brilliant will lead/bring me to home mine) A little 'awkard that.

Away to new Jerusalem,_______Ieruselem___.

I really don't have any suggestions here, I'm afraid.


[Edited on 4/4/2005 by gwendeth]
"Tolo si, a tiro i cherth Eru" "Come now, and see the works of God"
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