By anadzejesach
Parody of "All You Need Is Heart" by Damn Yankees

Setting: The great army of the East is slowly being defeated by the armies of the West. This is the battle of the Pelennor Fields. As the sun begins to show itself again the Easterlings who earlier sang that they were emotionally scarred start this song… the song that spells the end to the Easterling Alliance of Song. (Note: as the song is sung the Easterlings are gradually dieing off until the last line, when there is only one Easterling left)

You’ve got to have heart, all you really need is heart,
When you’re surrounded and you know you can’t win,
That’s when the grin should start.
You’ve got to have hope, musn’t sit around and mope,
Though you’ve been impaled by this guy right here,
Face up to your fears and hope.

When you’re hopelessly outnumbered,
Get your chin up off the floor.
You can be a tragic hero.
So you’ll never win the war-

You’ve got to have heart, leagues and leagues and leagues of heart,
Oh it’s fine to still be living of course,
But keep that old horse before the cart,
First you’ve got to have heart!

A great general, we haven’t got,
Sauron: Hey!
A great captain, we haven’t got,
Captain: Hey!
A great army we haven’t got
Everyone: Hey?!
What’ve we got?

The last Easterling:
We’ve got heart, all you really need is- uh
The last Easterling, seeing himself outnumbered, runs off

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