By LarienElendil
Parody of "Carwash" by Christina Aguilera, featuring Missy Elliot

Y’all small hobbits, I’m one big catch
(This is a dwarf tale exclusive)
Y’all small hobbits, I’m one big catch
(Here we go again)
Y’all small hobbits, I’m one big catch
(Say what, say what, yeah)
Y’all small hobbits, I’m one big catch

Ooh, do do do do do do do
Balrog, balrog
Ooh, do do do do do do do
Balrog, balrog

(Yeah, let’s drop it on ’em like this)

Ooh, do do do do do do, na na na ah, ooh
Ooh, do do do do do do, na na na ah, ooh

We may have delved too deep,
Let me tell you it’s still better than being an elf
There ain’t no telling what you might meet
A goblin or maybe a cave troll.

Running from the Balrog
(oh oh, yeah yeah)
In the mines of Moria, yeah
(ooh, yeah yeah)
In the mines of Moria
(sing it with me now)
Running from the Balrog, yeah

Said, said, said, sing

(Work and work)
Well those goblins never stop coming
(Work and work)
Keep those giant doors barred
(Work and work)
My fingers to the bone
(Work and work)
Keep on and can’t wait till they decide to go home

Hey, get those mines dug today
Fill up and you don’t have to pay
Hey, get those mines dug today
Dig it up, right away

Work in Moria,
Watchers in the water make their jaws lock
When I swim through the grim, I’m too hot
Y’all can make y’all bets
Y’all small hobbits, I’m one big catch
Balrog’s lair, bow down playa
‘Cause this right here will be your worst nightmare (nightmare)
Work that, work that, pop back, hurt that
Turn this up and bang it all up in the surface

(Work and work)
9 to 5 I got to keep that fat stack coming
(Work and work)
No matter how big the Balrog is, gotta keep running
(Work and work)
Digging mines ain’t no place to be a know-it-all elf
(Work and work)
That’s why I work, and work

Working in the caves (ohhh, yeah)
In the mines, yeah (come on work, Baby work it, say now)
In the caves (ahh)
Working in the mines, yeah

So come on, come on, come on, come on, come on

Ooh, do do do do do do, na na na ah, ooh
(Now keep it coming)
Ooh, do do do do do do (woo, so), na na na ah, ooh
(You may not ever find mithril, but hey)

Hey, get those mines dug today
(hey)
Hey, get those mines dug today
Hey, get those mines dug today.

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