*Sauron gets up with a microphone in his hand, and starts swaying*

Balrogs don’t cry
(they don’t cry)
Balrogs don’t cry
(I said they don’t cry)
My balrog went to die
(my oh my)
My balrog didn’t cry
(heh, I know why)

Wizard: Told my balrog he had to go
Thought that he would know
(oh no)
But he said to my surprise
Balrogs don’t cry

Balrogs don’t cry
(they don’t cry)
Balrogs don’t cry
(I said they don’t cry)

Maybe I was cruel
(was I cruel?)
Gandalf is a fool
(he’s such a fool)

Balrog: Shame on you your Master said
Shame on you, your flame is dead
Shame on you, you had to die
Balrogs can’t cry
(their tears evaporate)

Balrogs don’t cry
(they don’t cry)
Balrogs don’t cry
(s’not just an alibi)
Balrogs really can’t cry
(they can’t cry)…