“Before He Eats”
When Pippin eats Merry’s food, it’s sure-fire revenge! A loving parody of Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood.

I’ve known Pippin Took since he was just a wee little lad –

I know that he’s a little frisky.

He can sure make some trouble – that goes double if you’re talking about having food and whiskey.

Last week, he stole all my food thinking I wouldn’t care – didn’t even spare the mushrooms.

But he don’t know…

That I ate all his apples and left the cores on his very newly polished wooden floors,

Iced my name onto his birthday cake.

Made confetti for a party using all his rice,

I fed his cheese to all the mice.

Maybe next time he’ll think before he eats!

Right now, he’s probably up singing some

crowd-pleasing pub song over at the Prancing Pony.

Right now, he’s probably saying “I’m drunk,”

and he’s a-thinking that he wants to steal my turkey,

Right now, he might be at my house ready to go in and raid my whole pantry.

But he don’t know…

That I ate all his apples and left the cores on his very newly polished wooden floors,

Iced my name onto his birthday cake.

Made confetti for a party using all his rice,

I fed his cheese to all the mice.

Maybe next time he’ll think before he eats!

I might’ve saved some trouble for Farmer Maggot,

’Cause the next time that he eats,

The whole Shire knows he’ll eat his own food!

Oh… his own food…

’Cause I ate all his apples and left the cores on his very newly polished wooden floors,

Iced my name onto his birthday cake.

Had a smoke of his Old Toby at half past nine,

Ate his second breakfast that was mighty fine.

Maybe next time he’ll think before he eats…