Instead of chasing Merry and Pippin all over Rohan, Aragorn & Co decide to go straight to Gondor and take the throne by force. Unfortunately, Denethor stands in the way. In this episode, Aragorn and Denethor are scuffling over the crown of Gondor. Aragorn wrests it away from him and Denethor unexpectedly bursts into song.

Location: The royal Gondorian throne room.

Denethor:
Now I’m the steward of Minas Tirith, the Gondor VIP.
I’ve reached the top and had to stop and that’s what’s botherin’ me.
I wanna be the king of Gondor, and rule all of the town.
And be just like Isildur; I’m tired of bein’ ordered around.

Aragorn shoves Denethor away and places the crown on his head.

Servants and guards: (Join in harmony)

Denethor:
Oh, ooby-doo, I wanna ruin you! (Points at Aragorn)
I wanna rule alone, (Servants and guards: Cheep!)
Swipe the throne, (Cheep!)
Ooooo…
Can’t you see it’s true, (Shoobity-doo!)
A steward like me, (Shooby-dooby-dooby!)
Can promptly best this freak-show from the zoo!

Pippin: (Steps forward and does a pathetically revolting trumpet impersonation.)

The tune seems to pain Denethor, and he snatches the chicken leg off his plate and whacks Pippin upside the head, subsequently impelling him to cease trumpeting and crumple headlong to the floor.

Denethor: (Speaking) Oh how I despise show-offs!

Aragorn:
(Remains seemingly amused as Denethor utters his merry verse, but now, he becomes animated and commences jump roping with his arms.) (Chanting) Spukit! Spukit! Spukit! (Pleased, he makes his way to the throne and sits.)

Aragorn:
(Singing) Now I’m the rightful ruler, the Gondor VIP.
I’ve reached the top and had to stop ‘cause Denethor’s botherin’ me.
I wanna be the king of Gondor, and throw out this old clown.
And be just like Isildur—

Everyone goes silent and throws questioning glances at Aragorn.

Aragorn: I’m just kidding! You think I’m serious? Is this a serious face? Wait…don’t answer that.

An awkward silence follows.

Aragorn:
(Resumes singing) And be just like ol’ Elrond,
He makes me wear a gown!
Oh ooby-doo
I wanna be like him!
I wanna yell like him!
Smell like him!
Oooo!
You see that it’s true!
A daddy’s boy like me,
Can learn to be like someone like him!

Arwen gags and falls over.

Denethor:
Oh ooby-doo, Queen Arwen has the flu!
I wanna see my son,
Have some fun,
Burn some stuff! (Pulls out a large can of gasoline and a cigarette lighter. Accidentally lights himself on fire.)

Gandalf runs forward and tries to grab the gas can and lighter.

Denethor: (Speaking) No! You will not take my fun from me!

Gandalf clocks Denethor with his staff. Denethor continues to roast. Legolas enters in a Boromir costume and begins to dance and jump around.

Denethor: (Speaking) Boromir?! AHHHHHHHH!

Boromir/Legolas: (Chanting) Hey, da zap don roni! Edan na na zapzan don! An, zaninin, anin, azin, azon, azaptan-roni!

Denethor: (Chants along and begins glomping around, looking a lot like a dancing burning bush) Abadudee!

Boromir: And a zee banana!

Denethor: Abad, do, do, do!

Boromir: And a laba zini!

Denethor: Toza, toza, ceba dala dan!

Boromir: Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo!

Denethor: Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

Boromir: Get fried, baby!

Denethor: Abadulaeedaluu! Ahh! Ahh! Eeeeee!

Boromir:
You see that it’s true
Someone like me
Can learn to be like someone like you! (Points at Denethor)

Denethor: Ahhhhhhhh!

Boromir: Take me home, daddy!

Denethor: One more time! (Pats Boromir on the back) AHHHHH!

Boromir: (Costume falls off)

Denethor: Legolas?! Ahhhhhhhh! (Runs down the landing strip of Gondor and hurls himself over the edge)

There is yet another awkward silence.

Gandalf: So passes Denethor, son of Ecthelion, Lord and Steward of Gondor.

Aragorn: Does this mean I’m the king?

There is no reply.

Théoden enters the room, humming.

Théoden:
(Sings in a high-pitched, out of tune, voice) Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel you… (Looks around) Hey, where did everybody go?