Hold the weed, put back the beermugs
They have powers to console
We gather here to sprinkle flashes
from our late friend’s pipe-weed bowl
Gandalf always had a motto
That he never failed to bring
“Meddle in the affairs of Wizards, you’re gonna think about these things”
Back then the Balrog said our flesh was soft.
He unsheathed his sword and held his whip aloft.
And although Gandalf’s checkout time came way too soon
Before his brains start waving he composed this tune:

When the Took is foolish,
All the Orcs are Ghoulish,
And the Elves are waving Farewell
When the true king finds you
May this lay reming you
That you won’t see Gandalf in Hell!

Then he fell into the chasm
With the Balrog at his feet
And we all thought we had lost him
Cause he knew when he was beat
So we continued to Lothlorien
To visit with the Elves
After mourning him in Moria
Where the dwarves once delved
But then he popped up in Fangorn
So our hearts were healed and no longer torn
And we rode off to Gondor to replace the king
While Frodo went to Mt. Doom to destroy the Ring

When the Took is foolish,
All the Orcs are Ghoulish,
And the Elves are waving Farewell
When the true king finds you
May this lay reming you
That you won’t see Gandalf in Hell!