By IthilielCuivienien
Parody of "American Hairbands" by Tuff

Gondorian Ranger

Yeah, well I’ve been up and down, Town to town with several guys,
Then tortured for six long months by Nazgûl, Cavetrolls and the Uruk-hai
And some very fearful Orcs.
It’s time to stand up, fight back
Be proud and finally be King
So if you want a piece of me
Come and get it!

Isildur is gone but I’m back
Wearing leather pants and a backwards hat
Sword slung low
Where the down boys go
Rohan’s here, so on with the show
I’m Gondor Health
And dressed to thrill
I’m a Dúnadan with the looks that kill
I rocked and rolled, n’ long hair is back
And I grew up fighting bad guys, left, front and back
I’m fighting Orcs, eighty-nine
Wishing to be with you all the time
You’re in Rivendell, sweet love of mine
I want another piece of that cherry pie

They call me Strider
Leather jacket in black
Shoot your arrows in the air
Yeah we’re giving it back
N’ say (shout, shout) at Sauron again
And say (shout, shout) at Sauron my friend
So say (shout, shout) never letting it end
And say (shout, shout) yeah…
(Bad Uruk-hais)

I like little Gimli and Legolas
Haldir is dead, alas
Théoden, Éomer
When Faramir fought, Denethor ruled
Yeah, I went round and round
Fighting out in Rohan
Got loud in Helm’s Deep
Erkenbrand with Gandalf twixt
Ten thousand bad Uruk-hais in the mix
Give me Éomer and his Rohirrim riders
Háma, Gamling, Déorwine and Dúnhere
Love Arwen, don’t put up with trash
I like to ride and shoot and fight and slash

Rangers
Wearing leather in black
Shoot your arrows in the air
Yeah we’re giving it back
N’ say (shout, shout) at Sauron again
And say (shout, shout) at Sauron my friend
So say (shout, shout) never letting it end
And say (shout, shout) yeah…

Yeah, I saw your orc bands
Staring at your dark banner Wearing that dirty black armour,
When you’re goona learn dirtball You just can’t mess with Gondor’s army
”What d’you wanna do with your life?”

I’m a Gondorian Ranger
Watch me fight
You can shoot your bows
Or you can turn in fright
Gondor’s returned king
I’m a Dúnadan
I am Elessar, not like Isildur
Super strong and super wild
Sauron’s Mouth and Mordor have gone wild
Imrahil comes from coastal lands
I wanna see great Gondor back, Ruling these lands
Up all night, gonna fight all day
I love my Arwen and I love M.T.
I won’t waste my breath, but here’s a clue
Hey, Sauron and your folk, we don’t like you
Who cares about Witch-king, bringer of despair
When we got Aragorn
And of course Éomer
If you wanna fight back then read my lips
Let’s shout it out loud
For freedom at last

They call me Strider
Leather jackets in black
Shoot your arrows in the air
Yeah we’re giving it back
N’ say (shout, shout) at Sauron again
And say (shout, shout) at Sauron my friend
So say (shout, shout) never letting it end
And say (shout, shout) yeah…

I’m a ranger, wanted dead or alive
Calling (Shout, shout, shout, shout)
I’m gonna fight orcs in the still of the night
Say (Shout, shout, shout, shout)
Gonna take you down to fair Minas Tirith
And (Shout, shout, shout, shout)
Everybody let’s sing, defying Sauron

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