Hobbits!
N.B To sing this song properly, you are advised to use your best Gollum voice when performing it!
Camera pans down in between a valley towards a small river running at the bottom. A rock is in the middle of this river. As the camera travels down, we see that Gollum is sitting hunched up on the rock with his arms around his knees and his mournfully singing of his mortal enemies, hobbits……
Gollum:
Hobbits!
Filthy little hobbits!
Tricksy nasty hobbits!
Who stole my precious from me!
Master!
Kind and lovely master!
My friendly and nice master!
Who keeps my precious from me!
Spoken: (But we will get it, yes we will precious…)
Fat one!
The hobbit who dislikes me!
He eats all he can find for he’s always hungry!
Hobbits!
The titchy race of Middle Earth!
The gardeners of Middle Earth!
Who travel on quests through the world!
Spoken: Gollum: For no purpose precious
Smeagol: Yes precious that’s right
Deagol!
My stupid and poor cousin!
My fishing-loving cousin who I throttled to death
(Yes you did precious and you can do it again
Yes precious of course)
Hobbits!
Filthy nasty hobbits!
Tricksy little hobbits!
Who stole my precious from me!
Spoken: Gollum: And we will get it back. Yes precious we will..
Smeagol: If we can get off this rock that is
Gollum: Of course we will precious
Smeagol: But we can’t swim!
Gollum: SHUT UP! I’M WORKING ON IT!!
