*Aragorn is walking through Middle Earth with the Fellowship, and he is quite bored. So, what does he do? Pull out a cowboy hat and start singing, of course!*

Aragorn:
Someday I’m gonna be famous
Yeah, I’m gonna be the king
Ruling sure will be easy
After this fellowship thing

Can’t wait to loose all the hobbits
They really cramp my style
Can’t wait out to boot out Denethor
‘cuz that guy’s a piece of bile

‘Cuz when you are a king like me
It’s namárië servility
No matter what you do
People think you’re cool
And they’ll still honor me
And I can throw a major fit
When my country isn’t just how I like it
They’ll say I’ve gone insane
I’ll blame it on my reign
And the pressures that go with it
When you’re a king like me

I get to cry to Mithrandir
When things don’t go my way
Don’t do community service
At 87, I’ve done my pay!

I’ll be in all the gossip
They’ll say some awful stuff
But the more they run my name down
The more taxes rise up

‘Cuz when you are a king like me
It’s namárië servility
No matter what you do
People think you’re cool
And they’ll still honor me
And I can finally get my girl
Have our marriage broadcast to the world
And when Gandalf says I’m vain,
I’ll blame it on my reign,
And say it’s just so tough
Being a king like me

So I’ll put on my pack and head out east
To the land of fiery doom
I’ll be a real life hero
Kicking out Sauron
Hey, hey, glory
Here I come!

‘Cuz when you are a king like me
It’s namárië servility
No matter what you do
People think you’re cool
And they’ll still honor me
Being a king like me

Yeah, a king like me!

*Aragorn realizes that everyone else in the fellowship has stopped and is watching him. Boromir is being restrained by Legolas and Gimli, and the latter’s arms look like they are ready to give. Sam is growling at him. Frodo has the ring clutched tightly in his hand and his eyes are really big and wide and fearful. Merry is standing next to Sam, giving Aragorn the death glare, and Pippin is looking around in his pack for more apples. Gandalf sighs.
“Aragorn, I think we need to have a little chat. What’s this, the third time this week?”*