(Legolas) Dearest darlingest Daddy Thranduil,
(Gimli) Dear Pops,
(Both) There’s been tons of confusion over the Ring here in Rivendell,
(Gimli) I want to kill the elf now
(Legolas) I want to drop kick Gimli
(Both) But I know I have to behave very well, there’s been that confusion for you see I’m partnered with…
(Legolas) an annoying little grimy dwarf who tries to pull my blonde hair out
(Gimli) Legolas
(Legolas) I know this feeling, it is nothing new,
(Gimli) I felt it ever since you first looked at me,
(Legolas) it makes me angry
(Gimli) it makes me mad
(Legolas) why bother telling,
(Both) it’s driving me crazy,
(Legolas) fervent as Sauron,
(Gimli) it has an awful name:
(Both) Loathing, inter-racial loathing,
(Legolas) for your beard,
(Gimli) your ears,
(Legolas) your helmet,
(Both) let’s just say…I hate you a lot,
Every way you act just turns me off,
even though I’m supposed to be nice,
it’s simply just loathing,
purely and deeply emotional,
like watching Aragorn and Arwen,
it’s gonna last a while,
it came on centuries ago,
and it hasn’t failed to go away,
we will both be loathing, hating eachother for the 3rd Age.
(Legolas fangirls) Oh Legolas, you’re just so hot,
just being near you makes me faint and exhaust,
we don’t understand how you stand through it,
when your partners just 2 feet tall,
darling Legolas you’re a God…
(Legolas) I know and keep flattering me
(Legolas fangirls) Poor hot elf forced to join up,
with an ugly dwarf disgusting and small,
we want to tell you, we respect you even MORE!!Aaaah! We share your…
(All) Loathing,
plain out hatred that’s annoying,
hopefully it will not kill us,
Let’s all say,
it’s a nusiance,
it will never go away, I’ll bet,
and it will grown so stronger yet,
and we will be loathing,
deeply and emotionally loathing,
always plainly loathing you,
my whole life long!!