Merry’s in the kitchen
Gimli’s in the hall
The balrog is upstairs
Burning down the walls.

Lurtz is almost dead
The carpet’s turning red.
It’s cause he was stalking Frodo
So Sam choped off his head.

Jingle Bells
Moria smells,
Strider still not King.
Oh what fun it would be if Denethor had the one ring.

Oh Jingle Roast,
Saruman’s toast,
Pippen likes to eat.
I wonder how much time is left
‘Til this song is complete.

Gollum’s in the basment
Sauron’s taking over the world. Legolas is screaming:
“Help I’m being chased by screaming fangirls”
Pippen ate all the turkey
Everyone is angry and now he is washing dishes for being a bad boy.

Jingle Jives
Gandalf’s alive,
Elrond has cool eyebrows. Bombadil was an idiot
But no one cared anyhow.

Oh jingle jime
I can’t quite rhyme,
Ents are very slow,
Bill the Pony is a horse and Boromir… uh…is dead.

I told you I can’t rhyme.