~ The Fellowship (but not Boromir) are walking through Minas Tirith at Christmas wearing Santa hats and flashing red noses, dragging an unwilling Gandalf along behind them. As they reach the first house’s door, they begin to sing… ~

We wish you a Merry Christmas,
We wish you a Merry Christmas,
We wish you a Merry Christmas,
And a Pippin New Year!

[Seemingly oblivious to the hard sharp things being thrown at them from windows, the Fellowship continue singing]

Good tidings we bring,
To Gondor’s new King!
For Sauron has been defeated,
And the Quest is complete!

EVERYONE ELSE: SHUT UP!!!!!!!

[The Fellowship keep singing except Gandalf, who slips away unheeded to a pub]

So bring out the miruvor,
So bring US the miruvor,
SO BRING US YOUR MIRUVOR,
And we’ll leave you alone!

[The occupants of the building throw money and miruvor at the Fellowship to drive them away. The Fellowship move on to the next house, and it continues for the whole night. On Christmas Day, the Fellowship’s wives wake up to find a lot of rich, happy husbands!]