Legolas is alone at one o’clock in the morning and feeling very homesick… suddenly he bursts into a song:

Take me down to the Mirkwood city
Where the grass is green and the elves are pretty
Oh, won’t you please take me home

Take me down to the Mirkwood city
Where the grass is green and the elves are pretty
Take me home Oh, won’t you please take me home

Looking like an urchin living out on the street,
This moppy hair is hard case that’s tough to beat
I’m your charity case, so buy me new combs,
I’ll pay you at another time
Take it to the end of the line

Ragz to richez or so they say,
Ya gotta keep pushin’ for the good looks and hair
It’s all a gamble when it’s come to looks,
Ya treat it like a captial crime
Elves are always doing their time

Take me down to the Mirkwood city
Where the grass is green and the elves are pretty
Oh, won’t you please take me home

Take me down to the Mirkwood city
Where the grass is green and the elves are pretty
Take me home

Strapped in the chair of the messy hair
Why I’m here I can’t quite remember
The head elf says it’s hazardous to look old and ugly
I’d have just one cigarette but they’re bad for my teeth
Tell me who you’re gonna believe

Take me down to the Mirkwood city
Where the grass is green and the elves are pretty
Take me home, yeah

Take me down to the Mirkwood city
Where the grass is green and the elves are pretty
Oh, won’t you please take me home

So far away, so far away, so far away, so far away

Captain Gandalf’s been torn apart
Now he’s white with a broken heart
He said- look for me at dawn
I must be losin’ my mind- “Are you getting wrinkles?”
I’ve seen it all a million times

Take me down to the Mirkwood city
Where the grass is green and the elves are pretty
Take me home

Take me down to the Mirkwood city
Where the grass is green and the elves are pretty
Oh, won’t you please take me home

Take me down to the Mirkwood city
Where the grass is green and the elves are pretty
Take me home

Take me down to the mirkwood city
Where the grass is green and the elves are pretty
Take me home Oh, won’t you please take me home

Oh I wanna go, I wanna go, oh won’t you please take me home
Oh won’t you please take me home

Take me down to the Mirkwood city
Where the grass is green and the elves are pretty
Take me home

Oh, won’t you please take me home

Legolas realizes he is out of tune, shrugs, and goes to sleep.