(Sung by Sauron)

Look at these rings,
Aren’t they cute,
Wouldn’t you say I’m a lovely brute,
Wouldn’t you say I’m Sauron,
The Lord of Everything?

Look at this land,
Filled with Orcs,
How many of them can fit here at once?
Looking around, you’d say, sure,”He’s a dark evil lord.”

I’ve got Nazguls with long silver blades,
I’ve got cave trolls as my servants,
Want an Warg as a pet?
I’ve got a billion.

But who cares,
Mordor’s too small,
I want Middle-Earth!

I want to be with those horsie-men,
I want to see, want to see them drinking,
Singing songs in that…whatsit again…oh Meduseld Hall!

Being an eye,
I don’t get all I want,
Bodies are required for leading armies,
Hacking and chopping at…all Free Men!

Beyond my walls,
There’s free land,
That I can corrupt on demand,
Just hanging out,
Waiting for me,
Ruler of Middle Earth!

What would I give, to capture Lorien for Me??!
What would I pay, to see the White City destroyed to bits??!
Betcha in the Shire,
They aren’t prepared,
To see their precious gardens burning,
While I sit there,
Looking over,
My conquested LAND!!

I’m ready to go out and fight them all,
Ask the Dwarves to kindly leave their caverns,
So I can use the gems to pay my debts!
When will I get all my power back,
So I can destroy goodness and light?!

Watch me, you’ll see,
Someday I’ll be,
Ruler of Middle Earth!!