They see me plantin’
My garden
I know they’re all thinking
I’m so short N’ chunky

Think I’m just too short n’ chunky
Think I’m just too short n’ chunky
Can’t you see short n’ chunky
Look at me I’m short n’ chunky!
I wanna roll with-
The Elf Lords
But so far they all think
I’m too short n’ chunky
Think I’m just too short n’ chunky
Think I’m just too short n’ chunky
I’m just too short n’ chunky
Really, really short n’ chunky

Best friend to Frodo Baggins
Would’a carried him to Mordor in a wagon
Would’a jumped down the throat of a dragon
(Then wouldn’t mind downin’ a flagon)
A Gollum hater I always was
But that should be super obvious because
Even though Frodo gave him applause
I saw all his freaky flaws
When he followed us like he always does
I wanted to date Rosie Cotton
But my shyness I had forgotten
So I drink ale feelin’ rotten
Gettin’ all the more besot (en)
I snuck into the council of Elrond
To spy on all the Elf blondes
Found out they were guys and felt conned
I bet wigs were what they all donned
I wanted join the Fellowship
The cooking gear I could equip
Though I knew it would be a trip
I expected it to be in a ship
Instead we all are walkin’
No breath left to do any talkin’
The Elf, all of us he’s mockin’
It’s all us shorties he’s knockin’
Dwarves and Hobbits

They see me roll on, my pony
I know in my heart they think I’m
short n’ chunky
Think I’m just too short n’ chunky
Think I’m just too short n’ chunky
Can’t you see I’m short n’ chunky
Look at me I’m short n’ chunky
I’d like to roll with-
The Elf Lords
Although it’s apparent I’m too
short n’ chunky
Think I’m just too short n’ chunky
I’m just too short n’ chunky
How’d I get so short n’ chunky?