(At the Council of Elrond,)

Strider: You can bet there’s no need to fret
When I am in a fight and on a roll!
But I’ve got a confession,
My own secret opression,
And it’s making me lose control.
Elf 1: Everybody, gather ’round!

[Spoken:]
Strider: If a hobbit can be our Ringbearer, then I can tell my secret– I’m Isildur’s heir.
Council: What? — Murmuring– He’s just a smelly ranger, ignore him.
Strider: I’m heir to the throne of Gondor! I even have the broken sword to prove it!
Council: Not another sound!
Aragorn: Someday I’ll marry Arwen and make her my Queen!

[Sung:]
Council: No, no, no, noooooo…
Stick to the stuff you know!
If you wanna be cool
Follow one simple rule:
Don’t mess with the flow, no- no-oo!
Stick to the status quo!

Glorfindel: Look at me and what do you see?
An elven lord without compare,
But inside I am stirring–
Something strange was occuring,
It’s a secret I need to share!
Elf 2: Open up, dig way down deep!

[Spoken:]
Glorfindel: Arwen stole my horse!
I was supposed to take the halfling and his friends to Rivendell, but she stole my part!
Elf 2: Is this claim legal?
Council: Not another peep!
Glorfindel: But what about history? It’s been messed up!

[Sung:]
Council: No, no, no, noooooo…
Stick to the stuff we know!
It is better by far
To keep things as they are:
Don’t mess with the flow, no- no-oo!
Stick to the status quo!

Elf 3 (indicating Figwit): Listen well, he’s ready to tell
About a need that he cannot deny!
There is no explanation
For this awesome sensation
And he’s ready to let it fly!
Elf 1 (addressing Elf 3): Speak your mind and you’ll be heard!

[Spoken:]
Figwit: *is cut off*
Council: Not another word!!!
Elf 3: But he didn’t even say anything yet!
Elf 1: Exactly!

[Sung:]
Council: No, no, no, noooooo…
Stick to the silence, ohhhh!
If you wanna be cool
Follow one simple rule:
Don’t mess with the flow, no- no-oo!
Stick to the status quooooooo–

No, no, no,
Stick to the stuff you know!
It is better by far
To keep things as they are:
Don’t mess with the flow, no- no-oo!
Stick to the status quooooooo–

(Instrumental break)

Elrond: This is not what I want,
This is not what I planned,
And I just gotta say:
I do not understand!
Something is really–
Elf 1: Something’s not right–
Elrond: Really wrong!
Both: And we gotta get things back where they belong!
We can do it!
Figwit: *is cut off*
Council: Stick with silence, oh!
(We can do it!)
Glorfindel: Asfaloth!
Council: He has got to go!
(We can do it!)
Aragorn: Elendil’s lot!
Council: Keep your voice down low!
Not another peep! No!
Not another word! No!
Not another sound! No!
Elrond: EVERYBODY QUIET!!!
(Everybody turns to Frodo, who inspired the whole mess)

[Spoken:]
Frodo (to Bilbo): Why is everybody staring at you?
Bilbo: Not me, you.
Frodo: Because of the Ring thing? I can’t have people staring at me, I really can’t!

[Sung:]
Council: NOOOOOO!!! No, no, no!
Stick to the stuff you know!
If you wanna be cool
Follow one simple rule:
Don’t mess with the flow, no- no-oo!
Stick to the status quooooooo–

No, no, no,
Stick to the stuff you know!
It is better by far
To keep things as they are:
Don’t mess with the flow, no- no-oo!
Stick to the status,
Stick to the status,
Stick to the status quo!