It’s been a long and tiring journey
And I’m standing here at night.
With the schizophrenic on my left
And the fat hobbit on my right.

Into the depths and widths of mount doom
I’ve got heaps and heaps of time
To decide the fate of Middle-earth
I can’t find the word to rhyme.

My dreams came true…
When I found you
My precious…

If you, could see, my ringsy
Would you run or would you hide?
If you, could feel, my precious piece of steel.
Legolas, I hope you can hear,
‘The target’s not my rear.’

Standing here before lava
My hand is falling off my arm
You know, I am gonna keep it.
I bet it won’t do me no harm.

Now he’s got my finger,
I hope Sam makes prosthetics too.
He can make Rose Cotton marry him
And his garden, how it grew!?

My dreams came true
Until I dropped you
My precious…

If you could hear with my ears,
You would die of Gollum’s scream
If you could smell the lava when he fell.
Legolas, hope you’ve had a beer
‘The target’s Gimli’s rear.’