Frodo: ‘Is this the re- al life? Is this just a Gandalf dream? Caught in a Boggy Marsh, no escape from this brown waistcoat… ‘

‘Open your eyes… look up to the Eye and scream… ‘

Sam: ‘Um, didn’t realise this was a Queen tribute’

Frodo: ‘I’m just a poor hobbit, I need some platforms… Because I’m very short… very small… knee- ee high… to an ant…’

Sam: ‘Scary when the ring takes hold… that really, really matters… to the plot…’

Frodo: ‘To the plooooot…’

Frodo: ‘Gandalf… Just stroked the Ring… Put it up against my skin, don’t realise the trouble that I’m in…
Gandalf… the quest had just begun… have I gone and thrown it aaall awaaaay?!’
Gandalf… Ooh ooo oooooh… Didn’t mean to make you die, that’s the last time I will go into a mine, that’s for sure, that’s for sure… because you really, really mattered…

Too late… I’ve put the Ring on. Sends shivers down Sam’s spine… he likes to see me all the ti- iime… Goodbye, Sam and Gollum, the Ring is stuuuck, got to leave you both behind to fiiiind some butter…
Gandalf… Ooh ooo oooooh… I don’t wanna to whine, but I just wish you’d come back and save us aaaaall!’

Gollum: ‘Sssspaced out Masssster Hobbit!’

****************************************************************************************

Ents: ‘Hoom hoom hoom hoom… Hoom hoom hoom hoom’

Aragorn: ‘I see a white silhouette of a Wizard!’

Legolas and Gimli: ‘Saruman! Saruman! He is sponsored by ‘Daz’!’

Gandalf: ‘Lots of fire and a Balrog- Very very Frightening- but- now- I’m- back!’

A and L and G: ‘Oh that’s great! Oh that’s great!’

Gandalf: ‘Yes it’s great but now shut up.’

A and L and G: ‘Alri- ight so-oo-oo-oo-oo

***************************************************************
Théoden: ‘I’m just a corrupted King, nobody loves me.’

Wormtongue: ‘He’s just a corrupted King, I had nothing to do with it.’

Gandalf: ‘Saruman, back down or I might just have to sing!’

Legolas: ‘Isn’t that what you’re doing anyway?’ Oh wait… yeah, Saruman- Back down!

***************************************************************

Frodo: ‘Jesus Christ, Faramir, will you let us go?’

Faramir: ‘I will not, NO! I will not let you go!’

Frodo and Sam: ‘Let us go!’

Faramir: ‘I will not! I will not let you go!’

Frodo and Sam: ‘Let us go!’

Faramir: ‘I will not! I will not let you go!

Frodo and Sam: ‘Let us go!’

Faramir: ‘Will not let ye go..’

Frodo and Sam: ‘Let us go!’

Faramir: ‘Will not let ye go..’

Frodo and Sam: ‘Let us go- oo- oo- oo- o!

Faramir: ‘No! No! No! No! No! No! NO!’

Frodo: ‘Oh Faramir, Faramir, Faramir just let us go…’

Sam: ‘Yo- ur bro-ther was seriously messed up by the Ring… by the Ring… by the Ring……..!’

Faramir: ‘Oh alright then, you can go…’

Frodo: ‘Woah Sam didn’t realise you were such a good singer!’

Sam: There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Mr. Frodo. *winks*

***************************************************************

Aragorn: (to Warg) ‘So you think you can drag me and leave me to die?’
(To Legolas post- ‘You look terrible comment): ‘So you think you can spurn me and cause me to cry- y?’

‘Ohhhhh, lady (Legolas: ‘Hey!’), can’t do this to me, blondie… I’m gonna go kill… I’m gonna go ki- ill some Orcs…!’

*Éowyn, the Rohirrim and a few thousand Orcs jam on the air guitar*

Haldir: ‘I’m a fan of sixties music myself… Ow! *dies*

***************************************************************

Sam: ‘Do we really matter? Will we be in books? Do we really matter (looks at audience), do we really matter… to ye…?’

Merry and Pippin: ‘You forgot about us…’

*CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH*

The End