In Isengard, Saruman and his minions are up to no good, as usual. This time, they’re scheming about what to do with Aragorn, who (if he manages to unite the West) could ruin their evil, evil plans for joint world domination with Sauron. To their chagrin, Aragorn’s bid for Gondor’s king seems to be gaining more and more popularity by the minute. Consequently, Saruman, Wormtongue, and some higher ranking Orcs and Uruk-hai have assembled in an Orthanc council chamber to decide what is to be done… The song takes place just before the Fellowship leaves Rivendell.

Wormtongue: Good Saruman
The council waits for you
The Uruk-hai and Orcs are here for you!

Saruman: Ah, gentlemen
You know why we are here
We’ve not much time
And quite a problem here.

Saruman uncovers the palantir, revealing in it an image of a crowd of rabid Aragorn fan-girls (and a couple of guys who think Aragorn’s cool), plus Gandalf, Arwen, Legolas, Faramir, Elladan and Elrohir, all four hobbits, and a few curious bystanders.

People in palantir, minus Legolas: We’ve found a Superstar; we’ve found a Superstar! We’ve found a Superstar; we’ve found a Superstar!

Wormtongue: Listen to that howling mob of morons at his feet!
A word or two of hearsay and the whole world wants to meet!

Wormtongue, Orcs and Uruk-hai: He is dangerous!

People in palantir, minus Legolas: Aragorn, Elessar—

Wormtongue, Orcs and Uruk-hai: He is dangerous!

People in palantir, minus Legolas: —tell us that you’re what they say you are!

Wormtongue, Orcs, and Uruk-hai: He is dangerous!

People in palantir, minus Legolas: Aragorn, Elessar—

Lurtz: The man’s back in town right now to whip up some support
A fan-girl rousing mission that I think we must abort.

Wormtongue, Orcs and Uruk-hai: He is dangerous!

Wormtongue: Look, Saruman! They’ve torn up Elrond’s yard!

What Wormtongue has seen is, in fact, the rabid fan-girls storming the house of Elrond looking for souvenirs of their current crush, who lives there.

Lurtz: Quick, Saruman, this may just be our card!

(Lurtz thinks that they might be able to get Elrond on their side through this.)

Saruman: NO, WAIT! We need a more sinister solution to our problem…

Wormtongue: What then to do about “Estel of Rivendell”? Greasy-haired ranger-man, hero of fools?

Lurtz: No brains and no talent, yet scored a hot girlfriend.

Saruman: One thing I’ll say for him, Arwen’s a jewel.

Wormtongue: We dare not leave him to his own devices
His half-witted fans will get out of control
But how can we stop him?
His fan-base increases
By leaps every minute—

Lurtz: There’s never a lull.

Saruman: I see bad things arising
The West crown him king which would ruin our plan
I see thousands united –
Our elimination because of one man
Thousands united because of one man.

Wormtongue, Saruman, Uruk-hai and Orcs: Because, because, because of one man.

Saruman: Our elimination because of one man.

Wormtongue, Saruman, Uruk-hai and Orcs: Because, because, because of one, ‘cause of one, ‘cause of one man.

Wormtongue: What then to do about this “Estel-mania”? How do we deal with their wanna-be king?

Lurtz: Where do we start with a man who is bigger than Fëanor was when Fëanor did his Silmaril thing?

Saruman: Fools! You have no perception
You might as well look for a pie in the sky
We must crush him completely
So like those before him, this Aragorn must die. For the sake of our vict’ry, this Aragorn must die.

Wormtongue, Saruman, Uruk-hai and Orcs: Must die, must die, this Aragorn must die.

Saruman: For the sake of our vict’ry, this Aragorn must die!

Wormtongue, Saruman, Uruk-hai and Orcs: Must die, must die, this Aragorn must, Aragorn must, Aragorn must die…

Saruman covers up the palantir, and with a look of über-evil determination, he and his minions set out to carry out their sinister plot…