Gandalf
Don’t you see, Frodo! Darling Frodo! Glorious Frodo! It’s so simple!
Step One – We take this ring
Step Two – We go on a journey through Middle Earth
Step Three – We somehow get into Mordor

Frodo
Mordor?

Gandalf
Yeah, Mordor? Where else would we destroy it?
Step Four – We drop the ring into Mount Doom
And before you can say step five,
there is peace and happiness throughout the land!

Frodo
Really? Nah… It’ll never work!

Gandalf
Oh ye of little faith!
What did Elrohir say to Elrond
when everything looked bleak?
What did Bilbo say to me
as we struggled toward Smaug’s peak?
What did Isildur say to his troops
as they fought orcs every where?
I’m sure you’re well aware!

Frodo
What did they say?

Gandalf
We can do it! We can do it!
We can do it, me and you!
We can do it! We can do it!
We can make this dream come true!
Everything you ever wanted
Is just waiting to be saved.
Beautiful pales
Filled with lots of good ale!
All you wish, so delicious
And driving you mad.

We can do it! We can do it!
This is not the time to shirk!
We can do it! You won’t rue it!
Say goodbye to “no adventures”
Hi adventure! Yes, adventure!
I mean you sir, go beserk.
We can do it. We can do it.
And I know it’s gonna work.
What do you say, Frodo?

Frodo
What do I say?
Finally a chance
to see the world, sir…
What do I say?
Finally a chance
to make my dreams come true sir!
What do I say?
What do I say?
Here’s what I say to you, sir?

I can’t do it. I can’t do it!
I can’t do it. That’s not me!
I’m a hobbit! I’m a midget!
I am tiny, can’t you see?
When it comes to long great travels…
There’s a few things, I just can’t.
Hearing my name,
Next to “crazy” and shame!
All the talk, ’cause Hobbits talk!
Would drive me insane!

Gandalf
Why, you miserable, cowardly, wretched little caterpillar!
Don’t you ever want to become a butterfly?
Don’t you want to spread your wings and flap your way to glory?

Frodo
NO!!!!

Gandalf
We can do it. We can do it.
We can rid us of that ring!
We can do it. We can do it.
To Mount Doom, the ring we’ll bring!
Come on, Frodo, can’t you see-o …

Frodo
Hey Gandalf. Please stop the song.
You’ve got me wrong. I’ll say so long!
I’m not as strong a person as you think.
Hey Gandalf, please can’t you see.
I can’t do it! It’s just not me!
If you can’t tell the bottom is line is that…
I stink!
I can’t do it!

You see freedom, I see death!

Gandalf
We can do it!

Frodo
I can’t do it!

Gandalf
We can do it!

Frodo
I can’t do it!
I can not can not
can not can not
can not can not do it!
‘Cause I know it’s gonna fail!

Gandalf
Fail? How can it fail? Don’t you see, Frodo?
There’s alot more to you, than there is to you!