*Author’s Note: I’ve always thought the Grinch theme was pretty funny, and I even like to replace “Mr. Grinch with “Denethor”. Then I thought, why don’t I write a parody saying positive things about Faramir? So here it is.*

You’re a great one, Faramir
You really have the strength
Though it’s said you have a different kind
Than the rest of your family, Faramir

You are the one who deserved your father’s seat as steward
Long before he burned himself!

You’re a bright star, Faramir
Men and women scream your name
You’ll shine forever in our clear night sky
Long after you are gone, Faramir

Which, of course, would be a
Very long time!

You’re a brave one, Faramir
You never cease to amaze
Your heart is even bigger
Than the Haradrim’s Oiliphants, Faramir

Though you may be Eowyn’s man, it would be nice if every girl had
Her own Faramir!

You’re a lucky one, Faramir
I know no other man
Who has led two hundred men to death
And lived to tell the tale, Faramir

For, you are more of a sole survivor
Than anyone who has ever won the million on
The reality show!

You’re Prince Charming, Faramir
You are Gondor’s fresh young face
You have the most delicious eyes
And one very flawless smile, Faramir

Your soul is a heavenly five-star restaurant and sweet shop, overflowing with the most scrumptious assortment of entrees and desserts imaginable, mangled up in
One big buffet!

You’re a champion, Faramir
You really beat the odds
You’re a winning jerkey-jockey
And you drive a winning horse, Faramir

You’re a…
Fifty-foot tall mountain of vanilla ice cream and homemade brownies

With chocolate sauce!