The Very Secret Diary of Aragorn, Son of Arathorn
THE SECRET DIARY OF ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN
By Cassie Claire
Day One:
Ringwraiths killed: 4. V. good.
Met up with Hobbits. Walked forty miles. Skinned a squirrel and ate it.
Still not King.
Day Four:
Stuck on mountain with Hobbits. Boromir really annoying.
Not King yet.
Day Six:
Orcs killed: none. Disappointing. Stubble update: I look rugged and manly. Yes!
Keep wanting to drop-kick Gimli. Holding myself back.
Still not King.
Day Ten:
Sorry no entries lately. V. dark in Mines of Moria. Big Balrog.
Not King today either.
Day Eleven:
Orcs killed: 7. V. good. Stubble update: Looking mangy.
Legolas may be hotter than me.
I wonder if he would like me if I was King?
Day 28:
Beginning to find Frodo disturbingly attractive. Have a feeling if I make a move, Sam would kill me. Also, hairy feet kind of a turn-off.
Still not King.
Day 30:
In Lothlorien. Think Galadriel was hitting on me. Saucy wench.
Nice chat with Boromir. He’s not so bad.
Took a shower. Yay!
But still not King.
Day 32:
Orcs killed: none. Stubble update: subtly hairy.
Legolas told me that a shadow and a threat had been growing in his mind.
I think Legolas might be kinda gay.
Nope, not King.
Day 33:
Orcs killed: Countless thousands. V. good.
Boromir killed by Orcs. Bummer. Though he died bravely in my arms, am now quite sure that he was very definitely gay.
Not so sure about Gimli either.
RIP Boromir.
Still not King, but at least Boromir seemed to think I was. Might however have been blood loss.
Day 34:
Frodo went to Mordor. Said he was going alone, but took Sam with him. Why?
My God, is everyone in this movie gay but me?
Not so sure about me either.
Still not King, goddammit.
37 Comments
I thought it was hilarious! Could u send me some more! this is my email address [email protected]! PLZ Send me some more!!!
OMG I LOVE THE VSD!! I’ve read all of them about 5 thousand times! PLLLEEEAASSEEE write more i cant live without them!!!! great job!!
funny.
well i thought the aragorn one and legolos one were funny but the hobbits….. well i think the hobbits rock so… i really disliked them. but in my honest opion the aragorn and legolos ones were hysterical but the hobbits….no.
i completely enjoyed reading this “journal entry” the fact that she incorporated the story and humour made it worth the time it took to read. although it is a good thing she rated it PG-13. :)_
Oh, my God. I love these. I’ve read all of them way too many times to count. Gotta love that:
Still not King.
haha that was pretty funny..good job
Great again borromir one was funny this one was hillarious . loved it and by the looks of it a lot of other people did too. The reffering that everybody i ncluding himself was a homosexual was classic.
very impatient for a king.
You’re really good at that… still not king though.
That was…….
VERY FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Still not king, though.
omg, this is one of the funniest things i’ve read here. seriously, it made me laugh out loud for real 😀 heheheh
Aragorn’s gaydar has gone somewhat haywhire 😀
I loved that part… putting “still not King” at the bottom of every entry. And the “Is everybody in this movie gay but me?” part. LOL, LOL, LOL.
I love all the secret diaries! I’m laughing so much when I’m reading them! Thanks so much 😀
Waaaaaaaay funny! 😀
on youtube? did you get it off that, or did you come up with it?
I imagined gimli going flying of the mountain.
it was interesting quite funny except the last 3 offensive and rude
Goblin- “Look, Tim, bob just got crushed by a dwarf!
I love it, please write some more!!!!
still not king…LOL!
Lol! These are all hilarious!!
“My God, is everyone in this movie gay but me?”
“Still not King though.”
Lol!!! 😛
Haha “still not king”
Lol! These are all amazing!
You don’t need gay jokes and profanity to be funny… Just saying.
Could you fit stuff in about the Ring? (think he’s gay..lol)
Sam and Frodo, still a better love story than twilight! Aragorn isn’t gay though!
Sam and Frodo, still a better love story than twilight! Aragorn isn’t gay though!
Sam and Frodo, still a better love story than twilight! Aragorn isn’t gay though!
rofl to the fudging death
hahahaha this was veeryyy funny!!!
Is everyone in this movie Gay except me? Not so sure about me.
I have now collapsed on the floor crying with laughter.
Still not king…..
I just died.
Gross, something’s wrong with the author
Love the humor