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…do you want! Telemarketer: How would you like to buy– Legolas: No! *hangs up* The phone rings Legolas: Screw Telemarketers!*slams phone down* The phone rings. Legolas: I hate you morons!…

…to the person you wish was dead! Theoden: *runs back and buys only one* Saruman: How about this, MINI TV!!! Gimli: I will buy one!! Saruman: But wait there’s more,…

…Originally the numbers had to be written in the duodecimal number system (based on the number 12 instead of the number 10). That’s why there are digits for 10 and…

…but handed back the stupidly pink cell phone to Arwen. Arwen squealed with delight and immediately made the phone start playing “Every Time” by Brittany Spears. “Stop that confounded music,…

…the Mithril that we paid! You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid! You could buy the Shire with the Mithril that we paid! Paid! Paid! Paid!…

…But now our neighbors are our friends. And we Eredrim have not been idle. We number nearer a hundred thousands now, and we have villages in every bay of the…

…um, I guess it’s probably about three hours behind us. VOICES: Thank you! Line goes dead. Elrond stares at phone. Phone stares at Elrond. Elrond drops phone down onto his…

…Sam in a boat) *** ELROND: Reason number 567 why you shouldn’t marry Aragorn: I don’t like him. ARWEN: I had not noticed. ELROND: Reason number 4,109 why you shouldn’t…

…smile, he politely thanked the Nazgul and waited as Rosie exchanged phone numbers with the Wraith. “You’ll love the Shire,” she was saying. “It’s very family friendly.” “That’s just what…

Orckies and Evil Minions This is Mordor number 5 One, two, three, four, five Everybody on the Nazgul, so come on let’s ride To the Green Dragon around the corner…