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findemaxam48
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on: October 10, 2014 03:51
Alright. I am glad to see that the challenges are being worked on.

I am glad to see that your sequel is coming along, rhodil!



We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
OneSizeFitsAll
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on: October 11, 2014 05:35
Nice poem, Alex!

Here's my piece... Warning: I wrote this in between customers at work, on the back of a flyer that we give people as they come in, and using my cell phone as a hard surface to write on. In other words, don't expect much.


She was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed, her face grey and drawn, as though from some pain gnawing beyond it. Her brown lips were set together and her curiously misty black eyes stared through me into vacancy.

"Goodbye, Anita," I said as I stepped briskly toward her, my arms held out for a hug. "We're leaving now. It was nice seeing you!"

She straightened like a soldier called to attention. "Bye!" she said, a smile spreading across her face and the colour once more in her cheeks as she hugged me.

I had never thought her pretty, with her dark Philipino complexion, coarse black hair which was steadily turning white, and the deep wrinkles that covered her face. Yet, somehow, that smile seemed to smooth the years and pain away, leaving only what was young, and beautiful, and girlish in them.

"Have a safe trip!" she said as she released me. "Say hi to Kathy!"

"I will!" I called over my shoulder.

I opened the door...then looked back. She had turned and was talking to Stella, still with the same beautiful smile on her face.
Image"The Corrupteds are going to wake up and find that they are strong." -Cenor
findemaxam48
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on: October 11, 2014 11:56
That is really good, OneSize! Especially for being on your feet and multitasking! Where do you work?

Here is mine:

She looked at me when I learned to walk, and smiled,
and when I fell and howled, her smile,

brought me to my feet; toothless,I smiled,
and wobbled to her arms, smiling.

Dressed in white and black, up on stage, I smiled,
clenching ancient wood and horsehair, she smiled,

listening to horrid renditions of Jingle Bells, smiles
greeted me as I dismounted the platform, cheeks red, smiling.

She read my words,patently scanning the lines, all smiles,
as I tapped my foot nervously, lips in a half smile,

she laughed at the bits that were funny, smiled,
and I, they fear away, returned the smile.

She hugged me gently on that last day, smile
present, and I, unknowing, also smiled,

happy with my small middle school dance ticket, smile,
because she would be by the phone waiting to hear about it, and smile.

She left this world with a smile,
not to hear words of the dance or see my smile,

and try as I might, I couldn't smile
as I sat in those rows, smelled the flowers, didn't smile.

Hugging my trembling grandfather, couldn't smile,
placed my letter in with you, couldn't smile,

couldn't stand on the stage to get my award with a smile,
couldn't hold back the tears; my teacher smiled,

and let me walk off the stage. My friends smiled
and cried with me, worried that they couldn't see my smile

and for a time afterward, I didn't smile.
But then I see her, remember her smile.

And I hear her voice in my dreams, see her smile,
and, sitting on the ground in the grass, smiles

on the trees around me, I lift my letters, unsaid smiles,
place them to the Earth, and try to smile.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
OneSizeFitsAll
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on: October 11, 2014 01:39
It's beautiful, Maxie!!

I work at a pick-your-own orchard. And thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
Image"The Corrupteds are going to wake up and find that they are strong." -Cenor
Mareth_Ravenlock
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on: October 11, 2014 02:56
Lovely job, both of you!

I really am having trouble with this...I sort of know what I want to say, but I can't think of the words to say it in. Leave it to procrastinating me to wait until Saturday to think seriously about this...in my defense though, I was kind of thinking about it for most of the week. I just didn't think hard enough about it, obviously.
~Llama Warrior of Nessa~ Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. - Lewis Carrol
Alexanda
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on: October 11, 2014 10:56
I thought Maxie's prompt should be the first phrase of our work. Maybe not.
Eglerio Eru o I gely bân siriar. (Praise God from Whom all blessing flow)
findemaxam48
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on: October 13, 2014 12:09
Nope, it was just a prompt to get you going. Great job too, Alex!

And Mareth, its OK if you didn't get to a prompt. There are many more to come, such as...today's!

Prompt Number 2:

Earth has gained a new season, unlike anything it has had before. What is it like?


We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Cenor
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on: October 13, 2014 06:37
Here is mine!

What is a perfect or beautiful smile? According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a smile is an expression of happiness, amusement, pleasure, affection, etc. Nevertheless, is this all to smiling? I have seen many smiles, each is unique, each indefinable, and each beautiful in their own way. The way a new mother smiles lovingly at her new baby stroking the child’s soft, round cheek. A smiling father watching his child toddling towards him for the first time, his happy urgings increasing the child’s pace. An old woman smiling for the first time after her husband’s death, wrinkles crinkling around her mouth as the smile turns into laughter at her cat chasing its tail. Children receiving gifts, their faces filled with joy as they run across the room to thank the givers. A veteran watching as the American flag rises into the breeze, his face filled with loyalty and courage, and a slight proud smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Of these choices, I could not pick one above any of the others for each is special in its own way. I will leave that to the reader to decide.
Image "Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."
findemaxam48
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on: October 14, 2014 03:57
That is good, Cenor!

All of yours seem so happy compared to mine...
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Alexanda
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on: October 15, 2014 01:28
Here's mine. Sorry if it's too depressing. :/

You could barely see five feet in front of you. The air all around was a grey-white haze and you wear a face mask over your mouth. You walk slowly in the city, watching for any obstacles that stand in your way. You could see abandoned automobiles on the roadsides, and the only vehicles in use were bicycles. As you walked pass a shop, you hear a reporter on television announce that the haze level in the area has increased again far above the critical level.
It’s that time of the year again; the time when certain people around the world burn things like trash and useless pieces of wood, and the winds would bring the smoke over to many other parts of the world. People walk pass you, but you cannot see them, only hear them. Cyclists ring their bicycle bells to warn pedestrians of their presence.
Suddenly, you feel something going wrong inside of you. You start to cough and sputter. Then you’re suffocating. You fall to your hands and knees, struggling for breath. As you look at the ground, you see a newspaper, and the headline: 200 Dies From 2030 Haze.
And you realize, right there, that you’ll join the list.
Eglerio Eru o I gely bân siriar. (Praise God from Whom all blessing flow)
tarcolan
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on: October 15, 2014 10:28
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findemaxam48
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on: October 15, 2014 12:10
tarc, I think that is the best emoticon I have seen yet!

Really nie Alex. I like how you jumped 16 years ahead with a specific date.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
rhodilwen
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on: October 18, 2014 08:19
yay! Here's mine. I hope it's not to long or lame. I like yours, Alex!

After decades of war, here we were. Men and women of every nation and race gathered together in one place. Peace had finally been achieved, mostly through the efforts of one man. We were waiting to hear him speak, the new president of Earth. I was still dressed in my fatigues. After being a soldier for most of my young life, I didn’t really own any civilian clothes. I noticed I wasn’t the only one. I’d been offered a job in the new Peace Corps. No more calling it an army. “A new dawn” is what all the posters were saying. We waited only a few more minutes before the bell tower began to ring the hour. It was so riddled with mortar holes it’s a wonder it could still produce any sound. Our new president stepped up to the podium.
“Welcome, my friends. This is a momentous occasion as I’m sure you’re all aware. You are here, representatives of every nation on earth now gathered together as one. We’ve achieved so much in the past year. I ask you to forge ahead with me into the future. A new season is here; a season of cooperation, world health, and an opportunity for everyone to make their own fortunes. A season of men working together as one to take the human race to the next level of evolution. But most importantly it is a season of peace!” Through the cheers that erupted, I noticed one man shake his head and push his way out of the crowd. Maybe I would take that job. Who knew how long this season would last?
The men of the east may spell the stars/ and times and triumphs mark/ But the men signed with the cross of Christ/ go gaily in the dark- G.K. Chesterton ~Member of the Realm of Ulmo~ http://clairembanschbach.wordpress.com/
findemaxam48
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on: October 18, 2014 11:55
Good, rhodil! my favorite sentences are "It was so riddled with mortar holes it’s a wonder it could still produce any sound. Our new president stepped up to the podium."

Here is mine!

Winter. But there was no snow, no rain, only pewter colored pellets and scraps that fell like feathers from the sky, gathered, and dispersed again. Ash. It was ash. Some lay in the street corners, disturbed by the occasional warm wind, laced with thick chemical. The scene would have been disrupted by people, but they were hiding or just gone, below the ground, six plus feet under.
It was winter.
Nuclear winter.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
SadroTook
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on: October 18, 2014 05:04
Rhodilwen, I love your G. K. Chesterton quote! Ooh, all these talented writers intimidate me... I might share part of my story later.
tarcolan
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on: October 19, 2014 08:26
The little village of Fifsales sat in a cosy valley and minded its own business. It was much the same as any other village except for one curious fact. Every year on no particular day an unusual weather event occurred. The west of the valley would be struck by gales, mists and driving rain, hail and snow while in the east it would be calm and clear. The northern slopes would be warm and the southern slopes cold. So it was that the leaves of the trees turned golden and brown in the north-west while the trees in the south-east would be coming in to bud. The south-west would be deep in snow while the north-east would be dry and drowsy warm.

On that day everyone in the village would gather on the green, and not a few of the birds and animals as well. For there the four seasons met to bicker and spar, and all the varied qualities of the seasons could all be felt together, storm and calm, heat and cold, snow and dust. And the name of that village means Five Seasons.
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OneSizeFitsAll
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on: October 20, 2014 09:07
Wow, all these awesome entries! I've been enjoying reading them as they come in, and they're all very well done! Maxie, this was the best idea EVER!!

Sadro, you don't need to be intimidated. We're all just people who love to write and want to improve. We'd love to read something of yours!!

Here's mine. Sorry it's kinda long and very dumb and slapstick...I just couldn't resist.

The wind roared past me like a freight train, tugging at my hair like my like my brother used to, threatening to pull it off my head. It slapped against my face, hot, and burnt smelling.

The scorched, brown grasses snapped, and all around me they rushed upwards, accompanied by leaves and twigs, torn from the trees and bushes. A newspaper flew past--one moment there, the next, out of sight--followed by a crumpled candy wrapper.

I struggled across the street, head down against the wind. It wasn’t weather fit to be out and about in, but after a few weeks of it, life had to go on as usual. I gripped my grocery bag tighter as a gust of wind threatened to yank it from my hand.

I staggered down the sidewalk, catching onto telephone poles, fences, anything to help me keep my balance. A street sign was torn from its post as I passed, and disappeared into the clouds, barely missing my head in its flight.

Walking was dangerous these days, but driving was even more so. The wind blew cars off course, causing huge pile-ups on busy roads. No one got in a car now, not if they knew the meaning of the word “crash”.

A rush of air caught me off guard, and I found myself lifted off the ground and hurtling skyward. Around me spun magazines, welcome mats, even a stop light. A branch appeared out of nowhere, and I made a frantic grab at it. As the wind died down, I found myself clinging to a high bough on a blackened oak tree.

As I stared down at the roofs below me, my heart thumping at the rate of a space rocket, I was uncomfortably aware of why the media had named this strange new season “Rise”.
Image"The Corrupteds are going to wake up and find that they are strong." -Cenor
tarcolan
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on: October 20, 2014 12:40
Nice. Burnt wind. All these pieces are really good.
Would it be helpful to offer some constructive criticism? I for one need it, no-one else reads my stuff. I think people know each other well enough and it would help us to improve. I can see a couple of things wrong with my little piece.
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findemaxam48
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on: October 20, 2014 01:02
Constructive criticism is good. Does anybody object to getting it, so no one accidentally offends anybody?

In the meantime...


Prompt Number 3:

If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which would you pick and which would you not pick? Why?

Feel free to branch out with this. It can be sort of a personal essay, or you can turn it into a short or not so short story.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
rhodilwen
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on: October 20, 2014 01:15
No objection to getting constructive feedback. I'll try to give some too.

Ooh...tough one. I may or may not get to this one. Two more tests this week and a practical coming up.
The men of the east may spell the stars/ and times and triumphs mark/ But the men signed with the cross of Christ/ go gaily in the dark- G.K. Chesterton ~Member of the Realm of Ulmo~ http://clairembanschbach.wordpress.com/
OneSizeFitsAll
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on: October 20, 2014 04:43
Constructive criticism is awesome! No one gets better without it. Definitely feel free to criticise my stories as much as you want.

Oh dear...of course you had to spring that one on me right after I saw Doctor Who for the first time... :/
Image"The Corrupteds are going to wake up and find that they are strong." -Cenor
Cenor
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on: October 20, 2014 06:46
I don't mind any. Matter of fact you might need to comment on this document since I whipped it up last minute.

Kelly pushed through the frantic crowds that rampaged the city's stores. She shivered, partly from cold and partly from fear when she glanced up at the sun. Already poisonous green fingers were strangling the sun's fiery rays. They had already lost the moon, now it was only a blob of ugly green despair for the people. It had been a year since the "Experiment" failed, or rather exploded. The government had kept it secret, only a privileged few knew what the most famous scientists in the world were working on in that building surrounded by barbed wire and armed guards. That is, until the building exploded, killing the scientists and decimating the buildings nearby. At first nothing happened. Life went on as it always did. But the following month a green mist started choking any and all natural light: the sun, moon, stars. Thousands died in the three months that followed. Then the mist lifted, the sun, moon, and stars shone just as brightly as they had three months earlier. Then exactly a year later, the mist returned. Kelly knew of the rumors that had spread like wildfires when the mist returned. The most probable of them was that the "Experiment" was planned by the government to "accidentally" explode, killing all who knew it's secret, to decrease the human population. Only problem was, it was backfiring. The mist was returning. The Speakers blared constantly about the growing threat. The Transportations and Hovercrafts were already shutting down, people would have to revert to the old way of Walking. The Food Producers were in high demand, their machines running constantly. The Caretakers gathering as much energy from the sun as they could and the Developers stopped Child Creating fearing that children genetically developed would be sick and weakly. Kelly returned to her family's living area, a neat white building shaped exactly like all the building surrounding it. Just before she punched the Open button she turned and stared at the fading sun. A new season, unlike anything before, was taking over their world.

By the way Maxie, what do you mean by trapped? Will be in the tv series acting with the characters or on the outside?

[Edited on 10/21/2014 by Cenor]
Image "Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."
findemaxam48
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on: October 21, 2014 01:02
Only thing I see wrong with your little piece there are some grammatical and structural things, Cenor.

Take trapped however you'd like, Cenor. Some may take it like you are there with the actors acting, and others may take it like you just showed up in the show. Its pretty open to be worked with.

I would love some critiques.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
rhodilwen
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on: October 21, 2014 06:24
Maxie- yours is really eerie. You give some good visuals. My only thing is that there seem to be a lot of commas? It just gives some odd pacing. But you might not listen to me, punctuation is not my strongest suit.

Tarc- you had a really neat idea! I just got confused when you started in on the south-west/north-east weathers. It didn't quite make sense to me with the way you had described the regional weather before.

Gem- great visuals! I really felt like I was there being pushed around by the wind as well! Maybe just some punctuation errors to fix.

Cenor- I agree with Maxie.

God job, everyone! This is fun! Thanks, maxie!

[Edited on 10/22/2014 by rhodilwen]
The men of the east may spell the stars/ and times and triumphs mark/ But the men signed with the cross of Christ/ go gaily in the dark- G.K. Chesterton ~Member of the Realm of Ulmo~ http://clairembanschbach.wordpress.com/
SadroTook
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on: October 22, 2014 09:50
Here's my attempt, and I am open to criticism!

The warm sunlight filtered down through a thin layer of wispy clouds. It illuminated the whole city with a soft glow, and the morning fog was forced into submission. Even a gentle breeze complimented the sun’s bright rays. However, none of the busy Londoners paused to note the pleasant atmosphere. Everyone had places to be and tasks to accomplish. Only one young girl took a moment to appreciate it.
If she had been in different surroundings, she would have gloried in the fine weather’s romantic beauty. But, then again, how much beauty can the crowded streets of downtown London conjure up? Oh yes, a stray historical building may bring a fleeting moment of joy, or a glimpse of a pastoral countryside a passing serenity, but once in the midst of the masses, reality strikes. The 21st century is a disappointing time for a romantic to live, and such was Lily.
She had been so looking forward to her visit to England. Her fantasies of this country had been fed largely by books she loved, and from which she had imagined England to be heaven on earth. How hard, then, when she arrived, to find that it was terrestrial after all!
Now here she was; lost, lonely, and fearing that this whole trip had been a complete disaster. Resigning herself to the fact that romance was found only in books, Lily determined to brace up her courage and continue on her way, though to where she had not yet decided.
At this precise moment, a tall man wearing a black trench coat whipped by her, but halted suddenly and turned towards her.
“You are an American, I perceive,” said he. Startled by his abrupt and keen observation, Lily replied uncertainly,
“Yes, I am.”
“And you are lost.” Lily sheepishly nodded. The man scoffed rudely, and muttered half to himself, “That’s why it helps to memorize the London A-Z.” Then, addressing her once more, he said, “I’m sorry this trip was not all that you dreamed it would be, and do tell your brothers hi for me, and who knows? I may see one of your books on our store shelves one day. Ah, but here comes John. He must have found my experiment in the fridge. Good day!” And with that, the strange being left Lily still lost and lonely, but with a new sense of adventure that moments before she had been sure could not be found in the real world.
findemaxam48
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on: October 23, 2014 12:44
I like it, Sadro! Is the TV show Dr. Who? Or were you working on the last prompt? I like it either way. One thing: watch your semi-colons. They are used to separate two different ideas, like this...

I was tired; there was much to be done.

If the ideas are connected, but you want a slight separation, use a colon. (

I was tired: i was up late, and slept restlessly.

rhodil, I do use a lot of commas. It is not my intent, it just kind of flows.




My Prompt for this week:

The channel changed, sending him into a cooking show, and he was on the menu,
sitting in a tangerine bowl sitting in sifted flour,

and then inside a high action police chase, in the passengers seat,
lights on, sirens blaring, as the car hit the shoulder of the road and launched

him into space, tethered to a cord that kept him from going into hyperspace,
feet leaving the ground as he leaped into a crater, falling into a

cartoon ocean with a sponge, laughing as hamburgers hit the grill,
paying customers lining up to eat, because they all had gotten

food poisoning from some provider, as the news said, as the pretty blonde anchor held out a microphone to ask him about it, and just as he was about to answer,

the remote moved again, and he was back where he began,
getting sifted along with the flour.


We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Cenor
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on: October 25, 2014 09:37
Wonderful Maxie! This prompt is taking me a bit longer to figure out. But I have an idea now.
Image "Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."
findemaxam48
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on: October 25, 2014 01:48
Ideas are always god. This was a difficult one, inadvertently. I'll try to lessen up on you guys come Monday. Or will I...?
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Cenor
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on: October 25, 2014 07:50
Oh please oh please oh please! Have mercy! Pretty please with chocolate pudding and honey goo goo? I have cookies!

How's everyone's writing going?
Image "Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."
OneSizeFitsAll
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on: October 26, 2014 03:11
No go. I can't think of anything to write for the prompt. That could be partially attributed to the fact that I'm spending all my writing time planning my nano novel. :/
Image"The Corrupteds are going to wake up and find that they are strong." -Cenor
rhodilwen
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on: October 26, 2014 04:34
Wow...It's already Sunday.... No prompt for me this week. Sadly, but I would have chosen Arrow or Once Upon a Time. Doctor Who was also a viable option.
Sadro- glad to see a Sherlock fan!

My writing? Still pretty nonexistent. Editing is the worst. So is school. Looking forward to Christmas break when I can actually work on my projects again.
The men of the east may spell the stars/ and times and triumphs mark/ But the men signed with the cross of Christ/ go gaily in the dark- G.K. Chesterton ~Member of the Realm of Ulmo~ http://clairembanschbach.wordpress.com/
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on: October 27, 2014 02:44
Happy Monday! Here is Prompt Number Four!

If you could go back to one period in history, what would it be and why?
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
findemaxam48
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on: October 30, 2014 12:00
It is now Thursday! If you will participate for the prompt this week, be sure to post!

Was this one too difficult? Uninteresting?
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BelleBayard
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on: October 30, 2014 07:19
I'll give it a go. I would go to medieval ages. While life was difficult and class differences pretty severe, it was a fascinating time. Although some called it the Dark Ages, in reality a lot of very interesting things happened. I would like to see the interaction between the Normans and the native folk of Britain, painful as it was. I'd also like to see what the Scots clans were like back then, before Scotland became a part of "Great Britain."
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on: October 31, 2014 07:21
Okay here is week 3's prompt. I decided to do a commercial type document.

*tv blares* This week on White Collar *screen shifts to dark alley where Peter Burke and Neal Caffrey stand* Why did you have us come here? *young man steps out of shadows* Because this is the only safe place. *Narrator interrupts* When a mysterious stranger approaches the White Collar division secretly showing them a file that can bring down the nation's top illegal drug-trafficking business they can't resist. If only they can find one more clue. Only problem is, the drug lords will do anything to stop them, including hiring hit men. *Tv shows Peter and Neal dodging bullets* The mysterious stranger has been running all his life, his parents were FBI agents before they were killed in the Holman Accident. The stranger thinks that their death was planned. *Tv shifts to Peter and Stranger talking* They'll kill me if they know I still have the file. You have to bring them down Burke or else they will bring you down. *Tv changes to car screeching as one car rams into building narrowly missing Peter. Burke peeks into the car* It's empty. *Narrator ups interest* Will Peter and Neal succed in bringing down this drug lord or will they fall in the process? Who is this mysterious stranger? Join us next time for White Collar here on Ion Television.

Here is Prompt four:

There are two places I would go. First, the Middle Ages, around or during the Hundred Years War. I would, if I could, sneak into the English army to fight the French. This time period has always fascinated me. If possible I would serve as a bowman under the Black Prince.
Secondly, I would live in America during 1774-1783. It was then that our country won her independence. It would be an honor to see that unfold. If I was a boy, I would become a member of the Connecticut Regiment and fight alongside my war hero Joseph Plumb Martin. Since I am a girl I would be a spy for the Continental Army.

So since I am really late for Prompt 3 I wrote Prompt 4 earlier than I would have.
Image "Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."
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