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BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 28, 2015 07:43
Aw! That's so precious, Maxie! Just so you know, I immediately shipped them together; I don't know if I got that from some of your previous posts, or just my tendency to ship characters, or what.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
findemaxam48
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on: May 28, 2015 07:56
Haha, Blue, I am so proud of you! I didn't ship them until very recently. It was so wierd for me...

Im glad you enjoyed it!

[Edited on 05/28/2015 by findemaxam48]
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Edhelharn
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on: May 28, 2015 10:00
What's your Nano account, Findemaxam?

So... here's my response to the prompt:

Lacy stepped over the threshold and peered into the dark house.
“May? I’m home!” she called softly. There was a bark, and a wagging terrier mix came trotting out of the kitchen. Lacy smiled and knelt, holding one hand up to keep the flowers from getting damaged by the dog’s enthusiastic greeting. “I missed you too,” she crooned, laughing as the dog licked her hands and face. “Who’s a good boy? Danny is! Good boy!”
Lacy rose again and went into the kitchen, trailed by Danny. She dumped her bag on the kitchen table and refilled the water bowl, then took her flowers and headed upstairs.
She paused outside her sister’s door. “May?” There was no answer. She must be asleep. Lacy hesitated, then opened the door gently.
Her sister lay in the bed, thin and gaunt from months of sickness. Her chest rose and fell slowly under the covers. The curtains were drawn, the room was dark and cool. Lacy held her breath as she walked in and shut the door.
“May?” Lacy knelt by the bed and took her sister’s hand. It twitched, and May’s eyes fluttered open. “May, I’ve brought you flowers.”
May’s head turned. She smiled faintly. “You… shouldn’t have,” she said, but her hand made feeble grasping motions toward the bouquet. Lacy placed the flowers into her sister’s hand and helped her close her fingers on them.
“See? I got some lilies,” Lacy said. “I know you like them. There were some really beautiful ones, you know, that looked like they were on fire, but I knew you liked the stargazer lilies. So I got you some.” She stood. “Wait a moment, I’ll get you a vase.”
She raced downstairs and got a glass vase and filled it halfway with water. When she came back into the room, May was touching the petals with her other hand and smelling the fragrant flowers. Lacy gently took the bouquet from her and placed it in the water, then set the vase on the bedside table.
“There,” she whispered. “You can smell them all day.”
“You’re a good sister, Lacy,” May said, tears sparkling in her eyes. “Thank you so much.”
“It’s what sisters do,” Lacy responded. She bent and kissed her sister’s thin cheek. “Sleep well.” She waited by May’s bed for a few minutes until the deeper, more rhythmic sound of her sister’s breath filled the room, along with the heady smell of the flowers. She was asleep. Lacy stole silently out of the room and shut the door.
Image Image Love is the strongest force the world possesses - Mahatma Gandhi
findemaxam48
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on: May 28, 2015 10:24
Very good! I like it! My NaNo account is Thranduil'sDaughter. Thanks for asking!
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Edhelharn
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on: May 28, 2015 11:47
Thanks!

Are the characters in your post OCs, or from some story I don't know yet?
Image Image Love is the strongest force the world possesses - Mahatma Gandhi
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 28, 2015 12:20
What a sad but beautiful prompt, Edhelharn! I like loving sister relationships.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
findemaxam48
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on: May 29, 2015 04:27
The characters are mine from my books. I rarely disclose some of the names because I will be publishing it professionally in the near future.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
PSK
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on: May 30, 2015 03:08
Great work everybody! I shall see if I can get this done, however it will probably be very short...
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
findemaxam48
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on: May 30, 2015 03:22
That's fine! Even if it's short, at least you have got the practice in.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
rhodilwen
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on: May 30, 2015 03:29
Hey, guys!! I'm still alive! Sorry I haven't been around recently. Between school and break and summer school starting, and another weekly writing challenge I do on my blog plus the serial story I've started over there, I've been waay to busy. lol!! How's everyone doing? It sounds like y'all's writing is coming along splendidly! Hi to the new people!

Here's my response to the prompt. Since Memorial Day was earlier this week, I wrote my prompt with that in mind. And we should always remember the sacrifice of the military.
Here goes.

~~~
I sit in the car, trying to nerve myself up to get out and approach that field of uniform white headstones. Doing so will finally make me admit the unthinkable. My brother is gone.
The clock tells me I’ve been sitting here for half an hour. I grab the bundle in the seat next to me and climb out of his truck. I know where he is. The memory of the funeral is forever ingrained into my mind. The muffled sobs of my mother, the crisp edges of the flag as it was folded, the roar of the guns, and the soft notes of Taps; it all replays before my eyes.

I clench the flowers in my hand as I stand before him.

“Hey, Sis. What took you so long?” I can hear him ask. “You brought me flowers?”

“Yeah,” I reply with a sniff as I set the bouquet of tulips down. “You remember when you brought me flowers at my senior recital? We didn’t think you’d make it back in time but you surprised us all.” My voice caught again.

“Aw, man, you’re not going to cry on me are you?”

“You’re not around to stop me.”

“You know I’m always around,” he sounded affronted.
“I know.”

I rubbed his dog tags hanging around my neck; everything you needed to know about my brother was stamped on those tags. But it couldn’t tell you how much he loved his country, how much he loved being a S.E.A.L.. They couldn’t tell you about the way his green eyes sparkled when he came home from a deployment to meet his family, or the way those same green eyes would sometimes just stare off into space as he remembered something he’d never tell us about. They couldn’t tell you how excited he’d been for me when I’d called him to tell him about my college scholarship. The only thing they could do now was remind me that he wasn’t around to wear them anymore.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

I scuffed the grass with my boot. I didn’t want to tell him but he always got answers out of me.

“I just miss you is all.”

“I know you better than that. What’s up, squirt?”

I almost smiled. I was only three years younger than he and almost as tall but he insisted on calling me that. I sat down and propped the tulips up against the headstone.

“I feel like I’m teetering on the edge and I don’t know if anything will stop me from going over. The school said they’d keep my spot only until the spring semester and I get to keep the scholarship. I know I should have just gone this fall but losing you really messed me up. I know Mom’s really worried. Everyone else seems to be dealing ok but me.”

“I’m sorry. What can I do?”

“Come back?”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Why’d you have to go?” I scrubbed tears away with my sleeve.

“It’s my job.”

I remembered him saying the same thing before he left for the last time. That’s what he had thought when he saved a fellow S.E.A.L. and several Marines in combat at the cost of his own life. His Navy Cross resting by the flag at home was no consolation.

”It’s just not fair!” I choked.

“Life isn’t always fair, squirt. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.”

“You always did love that stupid movie.” I finally smile a little.

He chuckles.

“Hey, do me a favor.”

“Anything.”

“Stop moping around out here. You’ve got a life to live. Yeah, I’m not there anymore but you know I’ll always be listening.”

“I’ll try,” I promised. “But I’m going to keep coming to visit.”

“Looking forward to it. But maybe just bring a drink next time.”

I laugh. “You got it, soldier.”

“And hey!” I can hear him calling after me as I walk away. “You’d better take care of my truck!”


[Edited on 05/30/2015 by rhodilwen]
The men of the east may spell the stars/ and times and triumphs mark/ But the men signed with the cross of Christ/ go gaily in the dark- G.K. Chesterton ~Member of the Realm of Ulmo~ http://clairembanschbach.wordpress.com/
findemaxam48
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on: May 30, 2015 04:18
rhodil, I love it! I especially like how you tied it into Memorial Day. Well done!
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Edhelharn
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on: May 30, 2015 05:04
Rhodilwen, it was so sweet! I actually teared up a tiny bit.
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PSK
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on: May 30, 2015 05:41
Wow nice!
So I did it, but I don't think it's great. Here 'tis:

Papa looks into my eyes.
“Don’t cry.”
“But I want to!”
His arm reaches up to his forehead as if to brush aside sweat or dirt or anything. But I know that he shields his tears from me.
“See. We both want to cry.”
“But we can’t. You have to be strong. Stronger than me.”
“Okay.”
“Promise?”
I nod.
Suddenly Papa gasps and quickly clutches his stomach. He is thin, and the blood is not drying up near his wound. He tries to suppress his pain by not making a sound, but he winces so hard that his eye lids clap together. He bucks forward, reeling into the grass, and vomits blood. Thick and mixed with the sparse food he had last night.
“Papa?”
As soon as he can, he opens his lips.
“Yes?”
“Am I going to be alone?” I feel like crying, bursting into tears. I want him to hug me. But that will hurt him.
“No. I will be with you.”
“But you said that you were going?” I am so confused. My Papa is leaving me. I will be alone in the dark forest. I can’t hunt, I don’t have any food.
“Just don’t cry.”
A long silence. We sit for what seems like eternity. It is not long enough. My bottom lip starts to quiver. I feel like going with Papa. I am just about to ask him if I can, when he stumbles to his feet.
“I am going now.” I nod. Just once, then I hang my head.
He drags himself away, half collapsing under his own weight. He says he will be back after a long time. I am not sure if he can even travel for a long time.
He starts to slow. I want to help him. I want him to make it at least to the trees. I don’t want him to fail on his journey. I get up to try to help him, but then I remember he told me not to. He disappears into the thick trees without looking back. I collapse to my knees and sob. The wind whips around me. A rain drop falls on my head, and thunder sounds some distance away. I am cold and I am frightened and my Papa is gone.
I cry myself to sleep.

The next week I set off to the forest. I will have cover there.
I plod through the trees, not sure of direction. Lost, lost without my Papa. I am hungry. I am starving. I want to go to death.
I know about death. Papa never told me but I figured it out. That is where I am going next. I think it might be near here. I think that is where you can go to sleep then not be tired. Me and Papa loved sleep. It was the best thing we ever did. Maybe Papa was going there. He wouldn’t go without me, he must be going somewhere else.
As I keep plodding along, I see something grey on the ground. There is a grey material, like felt. It has some crimson on one side, a faint patch but growing ever darker until the material folds. I turn over the log it is wrapped around. It is Papa.
His face is white, and he has creatures burrowing inside his cheek. His eyes are shrunk and black, with red liquid around them. His leg is almost ripped by the jagged branch he has fallen on. I can see something white underneath the flesh. I think it is called bone.
A joy comes over me. Papa has come back! He looks happier than before, maybe it is because we have reached death. We were so close but we didn’t even know! I am happy. I hug the body. It is cold, that’s strange. Maybe you have to be cold in death, because it gets so sunny and warm…
I go over to the grass under the tree. I rip some white flowers out of the ground. I clench the flowers in my hand, and walk over to Papa. I put them down. Now he looks more happy.
I lie down next to him. I am tired. I can sleep.
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 30, 2015 07:48
Rhodil, beautiful! I teared up as well. What a sweet scene.
I almost teared up at yours too, PSK! It's so sad! How old is the MC?
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
findemaxam48
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on: May 30, 2015 08:14
Ahh PSK! Your prompt responses always make me cry! At least that means that it is very good. My favorite thing about these prompt responses is that we are able to see how different people write about the same thing. I mean look! My prompt took on a romance feel, and rhodil's and PSK's were more sad. Incredible.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 30, 2015 09:59
I know, Maxie! It is nice to see how many different ways a single sentence can be interpreted. I wish I'd thought of a graveside scene now instead of that sad romantic one, although that did up my word count for mini-NaNo!
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
rhodilwen
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on: May 30, 2015 02:24
Thanks, guys!

Nice job, PSK! I will admit, it was a little eerie there at the end for me and a little sad.

I do like seeing everyone's different take on the prompts, especially this last one. We got such a range of emotions. I love it!
The men of the east may spell the stars/ and times and triumphs mark/ But the men signed with the cross of Christ/ go gaily in the dark- G.K. Chesterton ~Member of the Realm of Ulmo~ http://clairembanschbach.wordpress.com/
PSK
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on: May 30, 2015 05:45
Thanks everyone! Blue he is probably about 8-ish but he lives in the wild with just his dad so only knows what his dad teaches him.

Yeah that is a good point. We have a good range of writers here. Hooray to us!

Image
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 30, 2015 10:32
Ok! I knew he had to be a child. Do you have any more about them?
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
PSK
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on: May 30, 2015 11:26
No I just kinda thought of a kid clutching flowers and I wrote the piece, so I have never done anything with those characters before.
Maybe I could do some prompts based on them, that seems cool.
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
findemaxam48
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on: May 30, 2015 11:31
And would help you develop consistency. That is the hardest thing for so many of my friends.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
PSK
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on: May 31, 2015 01:08
Yeah true. I am okay at writing shorter pieces but as I have said before, anything long, more than 5 word pages, is when I drop off and loose concentration which makes the writing go all yucky.
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
findemaxam48
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on: May 31, 2015 03:41
Definitely practice on it. I never had difficulty with that, honestly, but my weak point is editing. I can't not edit just because I hate it! Hahaha. Just keep going. Reward yourself when you meet a goal.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
PSK
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on: May 31, 2015 04:31
Ah yes. A good apple pie should do it
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
findemaxam48
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on: May 31, 2015 05:08
Okay, the next time you meet a goal, we will all send you virtual apple pies.

I am really liking this goals thing. Anyone else want to jump onto this virtual rewards system?
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Edhelharn
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on: May 31, 2015 07:38
For the Nanoers here, I think there's a Carrot and Stick thread in the Word Wars, Prompts, and Sprints forum all about rewards.
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findemaxam48
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on: May 31, 2015 07:57
I generally do not use the NaNo forums because they are so crowded and you can't find what you posted a half hour after you post it. But that is just me. We can make a similar system here - if you meet a goal or a deadline, you get something, although I have no idea what that would be.

New prompt tomorrow at around two thirty EST!
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Cenor
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on: May 31, 2015 11:33
Here is my prompt!

Its a little rushed do to the computer going dead pretty soon...but I hope the story is good!


Remington Ashton dried her dripping hands on the red towel hanging above the sink. She cast a worried glance at the setting sun, who cast the long, finger-like shadows of the trees towards the blackening east. Worry grew in her heart, like a deeply rooted weed that she couldn’t pull out.
Patrick had called almost three hours ago, informing her that he would be late tonight. But she knew what was really happening. He was on a very important case involving a newly developed drug gang; so “late” didn’t fool her, especially after 10 years of marriage.
“May!” Remington called, out the back door, “time to come in!”
A little six-year-old girl hopped into the kitchen, trailing dirt and dandelions. Remington looked up from the tv, where she was watching the news anxiously.
“Mommy!” May screamed, “Look!”
“What dear?” Remington said startled, her heart jumping within her.
“Flowers!” the little girl cried joyfully.
Remington breathed a sigh of relief and approached her daughter. She took the flowers in her hands and clutched them too her heart.
“Thank you so much,” Remington breathed, inhaling the sweet scent of dandelions.
After hugging May, Remington washed her up and put her to bed. Darkness filled the land outside, but every light in the house was on. She knew she would regret it later, when the electric bill came in, but the light kept the glimmer of hope shining in her heart. The news blared about politics and weather until midnight and Remington sat on the couch, her arms wrapped around her knees. She was almost asleep when the tv screamed.
“Live! Shooting at 54 Boulevard, two officers killed and one wounded…”
The tv rattled on, but Remington’s face paled as the picture of the officer being loaded into an ambulance.
“Patrick,” she whispered.
She jumped as the phone rang and with shaking fingers she answered.
“Is this Mrs. Ashton?” an emotionless voice asked.
“Yes,” she answered, her voice quaking.
“Your husband is in the trauma unit in Jakington Hospital. If you…”
“I’ll be there!” Remington cried, hanging up.
She pulled her coat on hurriedly, praying the whole time. Grabbing the sleepy May, from her princess bed, Remington rushed to the car. Dialing a number she backed out of the garage.
“Hey sis,” she said.
“Remington, you do know it is 12:30 in the morning don’t you,” a groggy voice answered.
“Yeah, but...it’s Patrick….he’s been shot,” Remington sobbed, trying to see the road well enough. “I need someone to watch May.”
“Bring her over,” her sister said, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” Remington sniffed, “I’ll be fine.”
After dropping May off, Remington sped to the hospital. Her heart pounded and the tears ran down her face.
“No, no, no!”
The car slowed to a stop, the gas arrow was poised on Empty. Remington wept as she abandoned the car and ran with all her might. It was 1:30 when she ran into the hospital.
“Ashton,” she panted.
The nurse pointed and Remington tore through the double doors. She stopped horrified at the window looking into Patrick’s room. He was on a bed, covered in blood, and numerous machines surrounded him. She felt herself getting sick from the sight of his blood, turned black from the contact with air.
“Let me in!” she screamed.
Two nurses stepped in front of the door, blocking her way.
“He’s my husband!” Remington cried.
At that moment a doctor ran out of the room and Remington ducked under the surprised guards and rushed into the room. She grasped Patrick’s hand that lay cold and limp on the bed and prayed earnestly ignoring the doctors.
“Remi,” Patrick’s rasping voice murmured.
“Patrick,” her broken voice breathed.
“You're here,” he choked.
"Yes," she wept.
He smiled faintly, then closed his eyes.
Image "Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."
findemaxam48
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on: May 31, 2015 12:53
I like it, Cenor. More comments to follow; it's late and I'm going to bed.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
PSK
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on: June 01, 2015 04:00
Nice! I like the use of emotion and stuff. I don't know about drug case, seems a little cliché. That is a very minor detail though
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
findemaxam48
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on: June 01, 2015 04:18
Yeah; I find that nowadays, crime cases and the like are very overdone. With all the TV shows and the like. But I like the characters! And your word choice is good.

Prompt number 43:

The night is quiet. And so far, bloodless.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
findemaxam48
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on: June 01, 2015 11:52
Tip Tuesday:

The odds of you winning the lottery are one hundred and seventy five million to one. The odds of you writing a NY Times bestseller are two hundred and twenty to one. Start writing.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
rhodilwen
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on: June 02, 2015 02:51
Speaking of writing, I found another contest! This one is for a collection of Sleeping Beauty re-tellings. It's $10 to enter and you have until December to submit. Your entry has to be between 5K and 20K. Here's the link and rules! http://www.rooglewoodpress.com/#!writing-contest/c22i6

I'm going to give it a shot. I already have my idea. Now to find the time...

Nice prompt, maxie!!
The men of the east may spell the stars/ and times and triumphs mark/ But the men signed with the cross of Christ/ go gaily in the dark- G.K. Chesterton ~Member of the Realm of Ulmo~ http://clairembanschbach.wordpress.com/
findemaxam48
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on: June 02, 2015 03:12
Thanks rhodil! Looks good.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Edhelharn
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on: June 02, 2015 02:37
Thanks for the link, rhodilwen!

Interesting prompt. I'll give it a shot...
Image Image Love is the strongest force the world possesses - Mahatma Gandhi
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