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findemaxam48
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on: May 15, 2015 03:18
Sorry guys, I will comment more later. I am just about to get pictures taken! Its prom night!

With that said, Mareth Ravenlock has control of the thread until Saturday evening.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 15, 2015 09:41
PSK, what I meant was the deaths were more someone else's idea & she led up to the deaths while I usually ended up giving them their last breath. That's a joint-effort, right? Ok, & I'm probably just trying to justify myself, as usual.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
Mareth_Ravenlock
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on: May 15, 2015 10:04
*Arrives rather breathless and dishevel* Greetings, all! Sorry for my absence...I was just finally able to get caught up on all those posts I missed.

To belatedly answer Maxie's question: I started my blog because I want to share my life with others. Where I am at in life right now - at home most of the time, doing school and wasting my life on Pinterest...well, it's just not that useful. I want to do something that can make a difference, even if that 'difference' is only giving someone a reason to smile, or be lifted up and encourage. That's basically my reason(s).

Great prompts, everyone! And Maxie, I really like the sound of Prompt 39...I hope to get something done for it!

I'm not entirely sure what having control of the thread means, but I'll try, Maxie.

Keep up the good work, everyone!
~Llama Warrior of Nessa~ Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. - Lewis Carrol
findemaxam48
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on: May 16, 2015 05:35
I'm back, guys! And a touch early, too. Thanks for babysitting the thread for me, Mareth!

Off of what Blue said, I am wondering what you all think of this. I saw something on Pinterest that said, "When the plotting gets tough,kill off a character." What do you all think of this? There was also something that said, "The main character can't die if the book is told in their point of view!" I would love to hear your thoughts on both of these.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 16, 2015 07:26
Well, I normally don't like killing off characters! However, I admit it can enhance the story, depending on your reasoning behind it and the situation. I do hate it when main characters die, despite my having done that very thing! However, once again there are some popular stories where the MC dies. I'd say it makes sequels much harder.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
findemaxam48
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on: May 16, 2015 08:40
My opinion on it is that if you are killing a character just because, you are not secure in the story or with your plot. A character death is there to test the MC, not to spur the plot along. Think, is there one death that happens each day that affects someone? Even the death of a known murderer is heartbreaking to the parents.

As far as narrator deaths, I am strongly against it for the same reasons, Blue. Even if you have multiple narrators. It, to me, looks sloppy and unprofessional. Especially in first person. I can handle it if it is in third person, keep in mind. But if it is in first person, I feel like it is an emotional plea for readers to talk about the book. But if you have done your job right through the rest of the book, the reader will be in love with your character and be infuriated with the death.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BelleBayard
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on: May 17, 2015 02:09
As in Ned Stark and so many others... Catlyn Stark, Rob Stark... I could go on... However, that is a very successful series of books and TV series so... sometimes it works, but it also does make people angry and sad, too. I also find it hard to kill off my characters, but occasionally you have to in order to move the story along. Still, I agree with Maxie. Be careful how you use it. As a wise author, many years ago told me... "Know the rules and use them before you break them." Same goes for plot devices. Don't over use them either.
findemaxam48
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on: May 17, 2015 02:54
Very true, Belle. I feel like some authors-usually unknown, unpublished, or unseasoned ones-kill characters to pull attention to themselves. It totally backfired for Veronica Roth. She lost huge amounts of popularity. A secondary character is one thing, and a main character is another.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Cenor
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on: May 17, 2015 11:40
Okay Maxie...I am doing a sci fi multi-POV story...close to the end one of the main characters must die in order for another, weaker character can rise and "save the day."

What do you think of this?
Image "Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."
PSK
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on: May 18, 2015 03:47
Cenor it sounds a little like the Bridge of Khazad dum. I think it works depending on how well it is written (and I am sure it will be written very well)!

That's a good saying Belle, I think it is very true. You have to be able to master a conventional technique before you can have the ability to mess around with the rules. Just look at Cormac McCarthy, he doesn't use speech marks and is totally unorthodox in style, but it reads wonderfully because he has the ability to pull it off. If I tried it, it would seem like a mess.

As to killing characters: I love doing it. I have never written anything remotely like a novel though, so I am not sure about it in longer stories. Referring to Cormac McCarthy again, if anyone has read the Road then that is a good example of an emotional and enhancing way to kill off a character. (Esseentially it is about a boy and his dad making a journey to the coast after the apocalypse. The dad is all the boy has and pretty much all other survivors are really hostile, then the dad dies.) It is really well done, and brings emotion, so in that way would say it is acceptable, even beneficial to the story. Much of the story is seen through his and the boys eyes, but it still works.

I think it is how you do it rather than whether you do it that makes it good or bad.

[Edited on 05/18/2015 by PSK]
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
findemaxam48
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on: May 18, 2015 05:13
Cenor, it all depends on what said character has done so far. Have they done a lot previously? Were they unpleasant? If it was the former, I still think that it is a big no-no. Despite the fact that another character is being built up, it still may backfire badly on a reader. In Divergent, the MC dies so the other MC can save the day. Take a look on Good reads for Allegiant, and you will see the rage. For the films, there has been talk of making Tris live in order to regain popularity. That book came out two or more years ago. Veronica Roth hasn't published since.

PSK, that is true, as far as the how-its-done. I talked to my English teacher today and asked what she thought. She told me it would be a bad move to bump off a main character. There are a ton of other examples in literature that flow with the Divergent trend. Many were banned during their time period.

Not saying I'm right...just stating from observation and experience.

Prompt Number 40:

Write about the love of your characters life. May be more geared towards the girls, but...Alex...PSK...give it your best try!
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Cenor
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on: May 18, 2015 06:05
Okay so maybe not kill the main character.....maybe I can change him into a secondary...

There will be death however, because it is set in a huge war between two planets...a secondary, but very important character will be killed about mid-way...what are readers feelings about secondary characters who die to save others or prompt others to flee (you know who I mean Blue )?

The prompt sounds good! Maybe I will do it this time Are fanfics allowed? I haven't done any romance in my stories...
Image "Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."
findemaxam48
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on: May 18, 2015 06:25
Fanfics are certainly allowed.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
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on: May 18, 2015 09:18
I love romantic stories, the smuttier, the better, especially if Thorin is involved. I can use my dwarven OC for this, since Thorin is the love of her life (to Marida, it was Thorin or nobody, not even the brother of her jealous cousin, Kali). You can read more about it on my AO3 account:

http://archiveofourown.org/users/Island_Queen

The love of Marida's life is the one and only Thorin Oakenshield. Although they've only been married for a couple of years, they've been together since before the dragon attacked Erebor, so you might say they've known each other their entire lives. Unlike Thorin, Marida's from a mining family originally from the Blue Mountains (with no relation to the line of Durin). They first met in Dale, when her father took her there as a way to get her mind off of her mother's accidental death (she died in a mining accident). Little did he know that it would end up changing her life forever.

Although Marida said nothing happened between the two of them when they were alone for about ten minutes or so when Thorin was asked to go look for her (since Marida had a bad habit of wandering off, especially when she was in a place she's never been before), something must have, since on the trip back home from Dale, Marida seemed to be quite emotional, like she was being ripped away from something (or someone, but her father didn't figure this out until later). He even tried to set up Marida with other dwarves in an attempt to get her mind off the young dwarven prince, but all attempts failed. One of the last suitors that Marida's father tried to set her up with told him to "Give her who she really wants. If she marries one of us, she'll never be happy, and it may cause a rift between the two of you." It was that speech (and finally learning what did happen between Thorin and Marida in Dale) that finally convinced him to head back to Erebor and try to set something up between the two of them, even if it meant being in the mountain kingdom just prior to Smaug's attack, where Marida would have been crushed by one of the dragon's massive limbs if Thorin wouldn't have pulled her out of the way at the very last moment.

Is that long enough, or do you need more info? I got the idea by something that Richard Armitage said about Thorin's history, that he may have had a love of his life, but was killed by Smaug, though in my story, he saves her from this fate in the nick of time. I play Marida (and Thorin) on the Arwen Undomiel Family Tree (which is set in an alternate universe, so I don't have to worry about becoming a grieving widow anytime soon).

[Edited on 02/02/2016 by Lady Oakenshield]
findemaxam48
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on: May 18, 2015 09:45
Lady Oakenshield, I like your price! It fulfills the prompt perfectly. Only thing is, Merida does not seem like a Dwarvish name. But that may be just me. Otherwise, very good!
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 18, 2015 12:11
Oh! I love this prompt!!!! I'm totally going to do it when I have the chance! Can it count for my mini NaNo if I'm doing a secondary character rather than my MC? My MC is a guy so I can't get inside his head as well, not to mention he's so not my type...Can you tell I'm getting desperate on my word count?
Lady Oakenshield, I enjoyed your prompt, & I'm not even a Thorin fan! I love the suitor's advice to Marida's father. I'm all for people-not-dying, AU sorts of stories. Good job!
And you all have made me feel guilty for killing off 3 out of 4 MC's...But I seriously do have a really good reason! What I'm thinking is on here to post those deaths in a short sequel but try it out as one on Fanfiction.net. Then if people really don't like it I can do the same thing on there. Just in case you're wondering, the chapter includes multiple important character deaths (there are four total, and two include breaking my own rule of not killing off a husband if the wife is still alive without killing her too). I also feel guilty about two more deaths...
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
PSK
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on: May 18, 2015 09:28
Lol, blue I guessed you would love it as soon as I saw it.

I will try, maybe the love of his life is dead, and he is describing her. That's more my style
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 18, 2015 10:08
Haha! No one would ever guess I'm a hopeless romantic! Actually, I sometimes enjoy writing romantic tragedy...I could actually say that started my writing since I'd tell myself terrible tragedies while trying to go to sleep...But trust me, these prompts will probably be over-the-top crazy romantic, no tragedy! (Yes, if no one minds I want to do two, make up for all the prompts I've skipped!)
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
PSK
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on: May 19, 2015 01:52
Only two...?
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
findemaxam48
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on: May 19, 2015 06:18
You can do as many as you would like, Blue. I created this one with you in mind. Give it your best shot, PSK! You can do it. Maybe I will torture you all next week by having you all write from the perspective of the opposite gender...*evil grin*

Happy Tuesday!

*Scours "Writing and Saving Graces" board on Pinterest*

*sings a song because the internet is slow*

So, we all overlook stuff. Especially if you are me. I would rather focus on food than my homework. And then i forget to do it and have to scramble at midnight to get it done. But we all overlook stuff in our writing, too, especially in world building.

Check this article out: http://the-right writing.tumblr.com/post/111780225563/basic-overlooked-worldbuilding-questions


Really informative for us all.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 19, 2015 10:11
Fabulous! And I think I figured out a way to get my first one into the story, with it remaining relevant to the plot! And yes, only two for now...I'm rather flattered that you think of me, Maxie. I hope I don't disappoint you, or make you gag as I'm more likely to do...
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
findemaxam48
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on: May 19, 2015 11:11
Hahaha you won't disappoint me. I'm happy to read anything, even if it is bad, which it won't be.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 19, 2015 12:36
My first response to this week's amazingly fun prompt is from the fourth installment of Mushu's and my miniseries. It contains some massive spoilers for both parts three and four, so don't read it if you don't like spoilers. With that said, here's a reminder of Middle Earth history: Dírhael and Ivorwen are Gilraen's parents, and Gilraen and Arathorn are the proud parents of the most famous Ranger, Aragorn. This setting to this prompt takes place somewhere in the time that Gilraen and Arathorn first realize they are falling in love with each other. And now what you've all been waiting for (prepare with a barf-bag for over-sentimentality!):
“Mama, what was it like when you and Daddy first fell in love?” Gilraen asked as they worked in the kitchen, cleaning up after the evening meal.
Smiling, a dreamy look crossed Ivorwen’s face. “For me, it was love at first sight. I was getting ready to fix my hair for the dance that night and glanced out the window. There he was, the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen!” Pausing with a hand on the bowl she prepared to wash, she looked up at the ceiling, grinning. “My heart ached to know him, and was fulfilled when my oldest brother, your Uncle Alcarin, convinced him to ask me to dance with him. I knew that rascal brother of mine put him up to it, but then my Dírhael asked me for several more dances, his own idea. I knew as he held me it has been a long time since he had relaxed, much less danced. He concealed some deep pain within his heart, and I wanted to help ease it somehow. But the only thing I could do was dance with him, which certainly excited me! The way he held me was so strong, yet gentle, and he kept enough distance between us to keep people from suspecting that I or he were anything more than just partners for the moment. But I knew deep in my heart he’d be my dance partner my entire life.
I just knew he was the one for me. He confirmed my suspicions when he fulfilled all the tasks my father insisted on before we could begin an official courtship. He wrote me the sweetest letters, always enclosing a dried flower as a secret way of telling me he loved me. I saved all his letters and flowers,” she smiled even broader at her precious daughter.
“The hardest part of our courtship was his being three days away. I knew he truly loved me when he visited as often as he could, which ended up being only a few times a year. I never could justify his missing a week of work just for me. He even gave up going on his frequent missions as a Ranger to be a blacksmith so he could better provide for me. He’s always put me first, put my needs ahead of his own, even before anything was official between us.
Things went on this way about four years, then he finally asked me to marry him and saved me from an orc, all in one day! You know, having an orc raid on your village for the first time in twenty years certainly doesn’t make for a good engagement day, but we obviously got through it relative unscathed.
I missed him so much in the few months before our wedding! All our letters and visits brought us into a deep, unfailing friendship. I trusted him with all my secrets, and he slowly opened up to me and shared more with me. He became the only person I really wanted to comfort me when I was sad. I always hated for people to see me cry, even Mother or my best friend Rícan. But I at last opened up to him and he gently held me, sometimes physically, but mostly in a deeper, unseen way. He’s always been here for me as my stronghold, the one who upholds me when I’m weakest.
I still miss him when he’s out working all day, but I know we can’t be together all the time. Being apart makes our time together even sweeter. He’s the only person I want when times are tough, or even when everything is going well. I know he’s always there for me, whether he’s physically present or not. And nothing is better than snuggling up in his arms and letting him kiss me, his sweet lips confirming our undying love for each other. He means the world to me, and I have no idea where I’d be without him.”
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
PSK
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on: May 19, 2015 07:17
Don't do that maxie. I hardly ever write from female perspectives. It's too harrdddd...

Despite myself I quite enjoyed that Blue! (As far as I could anyway.) Well, written and captures the emotion. Lacking blood, but oh well...

I will try to do this actually, it would challenge my less evolved writing side. Of course I will never be able to create the wishy washy overly romantic stuff but I shall try.
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
PSK
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on: May 19, 2015 07:50
Ok, done it. Guess what it ends in...
By the way I think I managed to make it a bit wishy washy. It is a bit... graphic (not in the romance way, in the blood way) and most of it is not about love, but some is. I'm pretty sure everyone knew I wasn't going to write a happy romantic scene, so it is probably somewhere near what you were expecting.
Here goes:

He whipped around just before he heard the muffled scream. He saw the heavy bar crash into her midriff with a dull thud, and then he heard that scream. His eyes widened as he saw it. The pole seemed to fall so slowly, it seemed as if he could have sprinted over to her and got her out of the way. That was why he hated himself afterwards. He could have saved her. He was an undeserving, useless fool. After the pole slammed into her ribs she had collapsed. It was almost graceful, a smooth transition from standing to lying in a blink of an eye.

Then the scream.

Then his scream.

He ran over to her, only a few meters away, and knelt down beside her. Dark blood was slowly seeping through her beautiful satin dress, mixed with small drops of clear pleural fluid, leaking from the place where the pole had cracked the ribs. Her face was covered with the sweat of death. But she still looked so beautiful. He did not understand how a woman could be so beautiful. The smooth curves of her pale cheeks, balanced with such fragility against her deep blue eyes. The eyes in which he could see her gentle, calm soul. He knew he would never see life in them again.

“Thomas,” she breathed softly.

Thomas. He remembered the first time he had heard her say that name. It has captured his heart, his brain and apparently his spinal cord. He had stopped mid step, it seemed as if a wave of pleasure and contentment had washed over him. He had revelled in this new found beauty of voice for only a few seconds, until he realised the voice has an owner. Then he had turned and seen her, and he knew a flame had been lit inside him. She was standing in the middle of the grass, still wet with the dew from the morning, with the sun shining behind her and surrounding her in a wondrous light. She looked like an ethereal goddess. Then when his eyes had adjusted to her radiating beauty, he had been pulled further into the trap of love. He stared in amazement at the way that her eyes looked straight through him, and then at how perfectly her face had been sculpted. The work of the creator was definitely blessed. Then his eyes had been drawn to her lips, so natural yet full and cherry coloured. He had never had the courage to get anywhere near those lips.

As he broke from his dream of musing, he saw through his streaming tears that her eyes were closed. He would not let her die without knowing.

“I love you,” he whispered back to her.

He brought his lips to hers, and he felt what he had wanted to feel from the start. As he drew away he saw her eyes open. Amazement and surprise, and then…

His heart was broken.

*

The basement door opened. A scream. The man was hanging from a rope; his neck was roughly grated from the chord around it; his eyes were open but dead. Tears had dried on his cheeks.


[Edited on 05/20/2015 by PSK]
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
PSK
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on: May 19, 2015 07:53
The asterisk (*) signals a time jump by the way.
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
findemaxam48
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on: May 20, 2015 05:26
PSK, oh my goodness! That was incredible! Brutally honest, and true to detail. It was so heartbreaking, but beautifully written.

Blue, very good. I like how her tone is so nonchalant. You have a knack for romance writing.

Tech Wednesday!

If you use Gmail, you can use Google Drive. This I the best editing and work in tool I have encountered thus far. You have fifteen GBs of space, which is more than a standard flash drive, to create and store projects. These include word documents, spreadsheets,and PowerPoint presentations.

To edit and share, you can simply send the document to another Gmail user. The editor can then open and save the document. If they want to comment, they can highlight a portion of the text, go to "edit" at the top, and then "insert comment."

You can also open Microsoft Word documents, etc., with Google Drive. Just download try file and drag it over to your storage space. I find this program especially useful to editing and sharing purposes because...no WiFi needed! You can edit and work offline.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 20, 2015 07:13
Wow. I am amazed at you, PSK! That was so tragic, yet Thomas was so precious. I could sense his heart breaking. And thank you for actually reading mine & liking it! Ivorwen isn't good with blood; she'd be more likely to either scream & panic or perhaps faint if there was anything to do with her seeing blood. Actually, I think if Dirhael died or anything like that, she'd die too.
And thank you, Maxie! Ivorwen comes very easily too me, & I definitely enjoy the romance! Yes, just in case everyone is wondering, my next one will indeed be featuring my most favorite character (with the exception of Sam only) Thranduil.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
Elnath
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on: May 20, 2015 09:44
I am in the middle of writing a novel series...
It's so hard, especially if you are good at procrastinating (as I am).
I would love to share a little excerpt with you guys, if that is okay.


Also, about killing off the main character when it is in their perspective... I would be the writer to do that sort of thing...
It actually sounds quite interesting to write.

[Edited on 05/20/2015 by Elnath]
Annog nin daf pladan tele ci?
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 20, 2015 10:16
Greetings, Elnath! I'd be interested in reading an excerpt from your series! Would you mind telling us more about it?
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
findemaxam48
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on: May 20, 2015 10:46
I would love to read it as well! But bear in mind, those the internet. If you are seeking publication, as I am, I would change names a but to make sure nothing is kidnapped from you.
We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.
Elnath
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on: May 20, 2015 11:27
Okay so this story is in a fantasy world that has yet to be named, and it is about a quest to save a kingdom. or something of that sort.
Please note that unlike the Tolkienesque dragons, the dragons in here are typically friendly, this of course is solely on circumstances, however.
Also, Bonoras are a creature I made up and they are part squirrel, part weasel, and part mouse. They are about the size of a squirrel.

well here it is then... (it might be a little long, sorry in advance)

Sara woke up to her pet bonora, Aylice, licking her palm. She giggled at the tickly sensation. Aylice stopped when she noticed Sara was awake. Sara rubbed her eyes tiredly and then looked out the window. It was just before sunrise, which meant she had slept a little later than usual.
Sara sat up, stretched and turned so her feet hung off the side of the bed, brushing the cold floor. She ignored the cold and stood, bending over so her head didn’t hit the ceiling of the small attic room, because of her height. Sara lit the candle on her nightstand. Aylice stared at Sara from her perch and flicked her fluffy tail. Her light brown fur glistened in the candle’s glow and her long weasel-like body was bundled up to keep warm.
“You lazy little bonora, come here.” Sara chuckled and clicked her tongue. Aylice immediately hopped up and ran to Sara, clambering onto her shoulders. Sara gave a small smile and then walked in front of her mirror, Aylice cuddled against her neck, drifting off.
Sara looked with dissatisfaction at her unruly dark brown hair and her green eyes, so different from the other villagers. Sara’s eyes turned their attention to her ruby necklace. A smile came upon her face as she thought of a song her mom sang to her.
‘How did it go?’ she thought as she tried to remember, ’Oh yeah!’
She sang aloud quietly,
“Listen Little One,
You’ll never have to fear,
I’ll always be near,
For I love you so,
Even when you feel alone,
Look up in the sky,
One day you’ll see,
With light in your eye,
Who you were meant to be,
And at that time we’ll meet again,
And you wonder where I’ve been,
Nothing else but to say,
I’ve watched you from that very first day,”
‘Am I forgetting some of it? It just doesn’t feel complete…’ Sara thought with a frown. ‘It always makes me wonder if my mom knew she was dying…’
Sara looked down at her messy clothes and sighed. ‘Why do I have to be so different?’ She thought. Her clothes were messy and worn.
Sara walked to her door and opened it quietly, not wanting to wake anybody up. She made her way down the steps and into the hallway, where she bumped into someone. Sara squeezed her eyes shut nervously.
“Oh! I’m sorry!” She yelped, opening her eyes only to see it was Collin, Sorren and Martha’s 18 year old son. ‘Ugh, of all the people to bump into, it had to be HIM.’ Sara thought. He had always been mean to her since she had been taken in.
“Watch where you’re going, Orphan.” Collin said with a warning tone.
‘I could say the same to you.’ Sara held the comeback in and instead just said, “I am so sorry, Collin!”
Collin rolled his eyes and said, “Whatever, but you might want to hurry up and get a move on before Father and Mother awake, Orphan” Collin walked past her towards his room.
Sara clenched her fists and tried to ignore him and keep walking. Collin looked back at her for a second with a quiet sigh. Too quiet for Sara to hear.
She walked through the hall and glanced around the foyer. It was an inviting foyer with bright pictures and happy faces. The lighting itself gave people this joyful feeling of being welcome.
‘This foyer is lying about this house.’ She thought. ‘They may be welcoming, but things sure aren’t joyful.’ Sara turned her attention to the coat rack and grabbed her well used jacket. She slipped it on and opened the front door, the cold breeze rushing in. Sara put her nose on Aylice’s soft fur and trudged towards the barn. It had snowed overnight and was at least a foot thick. ‘I’ll have to shovel the driveway.’ Sara sighed as she thought.
She heaved the barn doors open and heard the animals moving around. She allowed a small smile at hearing their eagerness. She hurried to the feed bins and grabbed a scoopful of horse fodder. She fed Banner first. Banner was the horse that had been with her when she was found. He was a really sweet horse; In fact it seems he doesn’t mind listening to her vent about her problems. Sara stroked his neck and smiled at him.
Sara finally made herself turn away to feed the other animals. After Banner is the rest of the horses, the cows, the pig, the sheep and the chickens. She hurried through feeding the rest because she knew that Sorren and Martha would wake up before she could finish her chores.
After the feeding was done, she started on collecting eggs. She took into account that they were producing less eggs than normal. ‘They must be unhappy… I will have to read to them later.’ Sara made a mental note and then continued to collect eggs. She took the collected eggs to the house and slipped inside the kitchen. She grabbed the ingredients she needed for breakfast and hurriedly made breakfast. She placed the scrambled eggs, the toast, the bacon and the juice on a tray. She carefully carried the tray up the stairs and to the master bedroom. She knocked on the door and waited patiently for a ‘come in’.
After a moment, she heard Sorren say “Come.” She opened the door and stepped in. She walked to the bedside and handed them the tray. Martha nodded in approval and Sorren stared at Sara. ‘He obviously has something to say… maybe I did something wrong.’ Sara thought. Sorren looked over towards Martha and then back to Sara.
“You received a letter yesterday. We have looked over it and decided you may read it.” Sorren said, turning to his food. Martha reached for her nightstand and handed an envelope to Sara.
“Thank heavens someone is claiming you!” Martha said and dismissed Sara with a look. Sara bowed slightly in respect and scurried to her room.
‘What did she mean by claim me?’ Sara wondered.
When she reached her room, She lit her bedside candle. She sat on her bed and stared at the envelope in her hand. She slowly took the letter out and unfolded it.
‘Well, the handwriting is neat...’ She thought before proceeding to read.
Dear Sara,
How good it is to finally get in touch with you. I have been looking everywhere for you. Get your things and go to Welfort Forest, by the big oak. I sent someone to bring you to me. you will need to be there by mid-afternoon on wednesday.
Yours,
Oliver
Sara couldn’t believe it. She had family! Sara quickly grabbed her things and set them in her sack. She removed Aylice from her shoulders, waking her up. Sara put her down on the bed.
“I have family, Aylice! I am going to go meet him! We must hurry! I want to leave as soon as I am able.” Sara smiled and grabbed her necklace absentmindedly. Aylice climbed into the sack and cuddled up, falling asleep again.
When an hour or so passed, The Curt’s allowed her to leave. She waved goodbye to them and couldn’t help but to ignore Collin completely. ‘Jerk.’ She thought. He wasn’t even waving back. Sara raced towards the forest, not wanting to miss her chance. She ran through the forest, knowing exactly where the big oak was from many days of exploring and hiding away.
When she reached it, she didn’t see anything except a bonora or two. Aylice shifted in Sara’s sack and poked her head out. She chattered excitedly to the other bonoras. Sara smiled at them. She too could barely contain her excitement.
‘What will he be like?’ Sara wondered. ‘Perhaps he will be sweet and kind, and tell me stories of when I was little...’ Sara got lost in her thoughts until she heard a sound. She quickly turned around, standing behind her was a dragon. It was light blue and looked feathery. She nearly mistook it as a big bird. It was taller than Sara by about two feet. She was shocked to say the least. She had never seen a dragon before, let alone had one up close.
“A-are you my ride to Oliver?” Sara asked, unable to control the stutter. The dragon stretched its wings and made an affirmative sound. It blinked at her happily. The dragon turned so she could climb on, and that is when Sara noticed the small saddle. She gulped. She knew about saddles, and that one did not look safe at all. It didn’t have anywhere for her to put her feet and it looked worn.
‘I have to do this if I want to see Oliver!’ Sara thought, trying to be brave. She gathered as much courage as she could muster and pulled herself onto the saddle. The dragon turned his head and gave her a grin. As it flapped its wings and got its feet off the ground, she held on as tight as she could. The dragon slowly got higher and higher, until it was above the trees. Sara’s teeth chattered. It was colder up here than on the ground.
‘Saralynn’ A male voice echoed in her head, ‘Be strong, my dear.’ Sara’s eyes widened. She looked down at Aylice to see she was shivering too.
“I heard a voice from a memory, Aylice! A new voice! Maybe it is Oliver who was speaking…” Sara told her bonora, pulling her sack into her lap and hugging it, trying to get Aylice warm. Aylice looked at Sara almost as if she understood. Sara smiled at her friend.
‘Maybe flying isn’t so bad...’ She thought, feeling content.
They had been traveling several hours when the dragon finally started to descend. Sara looked down and saw a village bigger than hers. The dragon slowed and leaned back, landing gently in front of a building that looked an awful lot like a rundown hotel. The dragon lowered so she could climb off. Sara hopped off, clutching her sack closely, staring in wonder at all the clamber around her. Parents walking with their children, Young boys playing with each other, men doing their jobs. This was way busier than her village.
“Sara! I am so glad you made it!” A voice said from behind her. She turned abruptly and was met with an amazingly handsome young man, who couldn’t have been much older than Sara. He had blonde hair and deep, caring blue eyes. He wore work clothes, but they were not very dirty. She realized that his voice was much different than the one in her flashback.
“You must be O-oliver then…?” Sara asked, amazed that he was related to her. Oliver nodded. He walked towards the dragon and patted its nose. The dragon huffed excitedly.
“This is Champ. He was pleased to be able to fly you here. Why don’t you come inside and get washed up? There is a tenant here who will be glad to give you something clean to wear. I will go speak to her.” Oliver said, motioning to the large building.
“Wait! Um...I was just wondering how I am related to you.” Sara looked at him curiously. He looked surprised and then laughed.
“Related? Oh, no! I am your knight!” Oliver said, still chuckling.
“My knight!?” Sara stared at him in wonder. His eyes held a slight hint of humor.
“Every princess should have one.” He stated matter-of-factly.
“Did you say PRINCESS!?” Sara asked, wondering if this was some huge joke.

Annog nin daf pladan tele ci?
BlueberryMuffins76
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on: May 20, 2015 12:09
I think I like Oliver already! He seems so sweet. Of course, someone tells me about a blonde man and I instantly light up...Anyway, I love the idea of having nice dragons! I'm a How to Train Your Dragon fan. I do have one suggestion: I noticed you start many of your sentences like "He did X" or "She did Y"; it helps readers stay a bit more focused when there's variation. That's something I struggle with too & was noticing earlier when editing one of my own works (well, one I did with Mushu!). Over all, I think it has potential.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76
Elnath
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on: May 20, 2015 12:44
I wish I could find my character sketches, so that you can see Oliver...
Thank you for your suggestion! I did realize I do that a lot, but not quite sure how to go about fixing it... I have actually been working on this a little over three years now... I have it all planned out and I already know the book names and everything.
So far there will be four books, going by the names of:
The Ruby Necklace
The Dreadful Sleep
The Last Spell
The Granddaughter's Journey

Short and to the point, eh?
Annog nin daf pladan tele ci?
PSK
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on: May 20, 2015 08:28
Thanks for reading everyone. I am happy to know that I don't suck at romance, although I doubt I will be writing anymore of it.

Elnath I like it. I think the tone is correct and it reads quite well.
Have you drafted a lot of it, or are you still planning?
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos
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