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…are there. The girl gives him a wink and a smile then starts to sing Orlando Bloom has got it goin’ on Orlando Bloom has got it goin’ on Orlando…

…to: Cliff. Leela and Orlando edge their way around a rock, facing opposite directions. They bump into each other and are startled.] Orlando: There’s no right way to hit a…

Victory On the Field Slowly the ships pulled towards the harbour. Black sails fluttering in the wind, they smote fear into the defenders’ hearts. Losing the speed it had gained…

…do you want! Telemarketer: How would you like to buy- Legolas: No! *hangs up* The phone rings Legolas: Screw Telemarketers!*slams phone down* The phone rings. Legolas: I hate you morons!…

…Originally the numbers had to be written in the duodecimal number system (based on the number 12 instead of the number 10). That’s why there are digits for 10 and…

The Battle of Pelennor Fields The Rohirrim had arrived. A trumpet sounded in the distance, challenging the might of the Dark Lord and his minions. Shrill and distant it sounded…

…but handed back the stupidly pink cell phone to Arwen. Arwen squealed with delight and immediately made the phone start playing “Every Time” by Brittany Spears. “Stop that confounded music,…

…But now our neighbors are our friends. And we Eredrim have not been idle. We number nearer a hundred thousands now, and we have villages in every bay of the…

The Opening of Battle Nearly 24 hours had passed since the Woses had left, yet the company of the Rohirrim had barely set off on the last stage of their…

…um, I guess it’s probably about three hours behind us. VOICES: Thank you! Line goes dead. Elrond stares at phone. Phone stares at Elrond. Elrond drops phone down onto his…