Council of Elrond

Welcome Guest
Username: Password: Register

Forum Home » Off Topic » The Prancing Pony » Writers

<< First 31 32 33 34 35 Last >>

Author	Topic:

BlueberryMuffins76

Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message

on: March 06, 2015 03:50

Um, not really any significance to the name Charity that I know of. I wanted to name her Chastity for some reason but decided against that (PM me if you want details, although I can't explain everything). I was trying to go for an older-sounding name to keep in style with the piece.
And thanks for the feedback! I am trying to be more descriptive, although I fear that's something I'll always have to work on.
As for the questions, they apparently just came to me & I went with it, as I usually do when I write. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Now if I only knew the answers to those questions! lol

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13, NIV I'm a fanfiction writer and appreciate reviews! Check me out at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6434280/BlueberryMuffins76

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 06, 2015 04:07

That is the fun part about writing,too, though- some of the questions, you can leave for the reader to fill in.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

BlueberryMuffins76

Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message

on: March 08, 2015 05:19

So, I am once again in need of suggestions on Two Dwarves. I added a plot twist where Esmerelda (my antagonist) follows the travelers to their destination. But she gives up her chase too easily & I need to figure out how to make her following them more exciting & relevant with the plot. I can post excerpts, or PM you, or whatever ya'll want. If someone, anyone, can help that would be most appreciated!

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 09, 2015 01:27

Prompt Number 24:

Write a scene in which your protagonist is cutting a peice of fruit. Use all five senses.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

BlueberryMuffins76

Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message

on: March 11, 2015 06:37

Finally doing a prompt! Here you go (it really has nothing to do with anything).

Misty took four shiny red apples from the bag and rinsed them in the sink. The clear water intensified their brilliant alizarin sheen. After admiring their beauty, she set them on the wooden cutting board and grabbed the knife she'd set out earlier. What a shame to ruin such lovely specimens! However, when she imagined their taste baked into an apple pie, cutting them up didn’t sound quite so bad. As she gripped her first victim, her fingers almost slipped on the slick outside and she quickly tightened her grip as she used her other hand to plunge her weapon into its beautiful flesh. Immediately, the sharp, acidic smell wafted up her nose and she closed her eyes, pausing a minute to inhale the citrusy aroma. Opening her eyes again, she continued her cutting, enjoying the wet, squishy sound of her destruction that was immediately followed by the dull thud of her knife hitting the board beneath her quarry. She made quick work of slicing the apple into small chunks. Then, unable to resist its fruity allure, she popped a bite into her mouth. Not grainy or mealy, the soft flesh almost melted on her tongue, its flavor piquant and quite delicious. Unfortunately, her fingers felt rather sticky from the moist inside and she rinsed them off before moving to the remaining three apples. Yes, this pie would be lovely!

(Ok, so I know this is written rather gruesomely. ~facepalm~ I originally thought the prompt read "antagonist" rather than "protagonist", so I was writing from the former perspective. However, I kind of like how it turned out!)

Eruwestiel_Evensong

Council Member
Posts: 1402
Send Message

on: March 11, 2015 06:58

Maxie asked me to do the Tech Wednesday today so I could tell you guys about a free app called Notebooks.

I was in the Amazon Kindle app store looking for something similar to Open Office and came upon this app. I downloaded it because it was free and looked interesting.

The main page in the app is a bookshelf. There is a "+" button in the corner that you tap to add a new notebook. Each new notebook has several options, including the choice of a title and one of the available cover designs. You can also set how many pages you want the notebook to contain. As far as I know you can create as many notebooks as you want. Each page in the notebook can be titled and found in a index for easy access. I haven't explored all the options fully, but I did see it is possible to convert the pages to PDF format. If you are artistically inclined there is also a basic drawing pad that you can use to add artwork to your notebook. I was a little disappointed that this app doesn't seem to have a word counter. That's not a big deal however, because I was able to find a free app for that too.

After just using my email drafts folder to store my writing, I feel that Notebooks is a great way to keep my digital writing organized.

There you have it! If you get the app I would love to hear what you think of it.

"And I dreamed of seas and ships, and of waves crashing on the shore in the twilight of the world..." ~Song, member of the Realm of Ulmo

rhodilwen

Council Member
Posts: 828
Send Message

on: March 11, 2015 08:16

It looks like a day worth of posts got deleted on the site, so I'm going to repost.
You know that prompt I wrote about the girl with wings and the guy who can heal people? Ok, it's an idea that's been floating in my head for years and since I wrote that piece, I've been really thinking on it.

So, the idea is all the people with the "mutant" powers are the kids (characters will pretty much all be 25 and younger) of the people of a failed planetary colony. It failed because the humans thought they kept getting attacked by another race that also inhabited the planet. But in reality, the "aliens" were just trying to help the humans out and make life on the planet easier. The "aliens" have no technology because they figured out how to adapt their genetics to their job. For instance, Luke, who can heal people, his parents were doctors or medics. The girl, name pending, her family has been fighter pilots since WW2. Another idea is a guy who can control flame is also really good with machinery- his parent/s were mechanics. The "mutants" aren't really the next step in human evolution per se, because their parents got injected/exposed with something that got passed on to them. They have a new, non earthen, gene in their genetic sequence.

The bad guy would be one of the head people of the planetary colony who's son/daughter has a "mutation". He will be trying to round up the kids because he thinks they're infected or engineered by the "aliens" to be used in an attack on earth. So he's trying to save earth from a danger that doesn't really exist.. I'm thinking he's super rich and hires private contractors as muscle. I don't really want to make the military the bad guys. The "aliens" aren't going to be bad guys. They might come to earth to help the "mutants" out and develop their powers because the powers might have evolved more than the "aliens" thought they would.
Theoretical title is "Children of two worlds".
So, what do y'all think? Yes? No? Needs work? Scrap it?
If I do continue with it and get a lot written over the summer maybe, I'm thinking about introducing it as a serial story on my blog.
apologies for all the quotations

Song- I like the sound of that app!

The men of the east may spell the stars/ and times and triumphs mark/ But the men signed with the cross of Christ/ go gaily in the dark- G.K. Chesterton ~Member of the Realm of Ulmo~ http://clairembanschbach.wordpress.com/

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 12, 2015 12:20

The app is great.

I use it myself.

Like I said before, rhodil,but for the benefit of everyone else, it is very similar to Maximum Ride by James Patterson. I recommened Googling that story and reading up on it.

Ah, posts are missing...

Site must have updated.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

Mareth_Ravenlock

Council Member
Posts: 6138
Send Message

on: March 12, 2015 03:48

Hello, everyone! Yes, I'm still here...I've been reading along, just not posting much.

A very belated good job on the prompt, PSK. Welcome to the gang, Elfmaiden! Hope you have a good time with us.

And to all the other prompts - great job! Keep up the good work, all of you!

Now, for my update...

Unfortunately, I'm rather behind on the mini NaNo...I've only written 880 words or so. But I should still be able to finish. As I've never completed the real NaNo, I am determined to complete this one. And hopefully all these monthly challenges will help me finish the official NaNo, when it comes around!

Another thing - I really recommend checking out the Insecurity Maps link that Gem posted on the previous page. It can help you learn more about your characters. And also, it's just fun to do. It's a little break from writing, but still keeps you involved in your story.

Happy writing, all!

[Edited on 03/12/2015 by Mareth_Ravenlock]

~Llama Warrior of Nessa~ Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. - Lewis Carrol

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 12, 2015 05:10

I will check that out soon, Mareth.

Blue, I am not sure what to make of your prompt, if you want my honest opinion. It seems very scienc-y, which is not nessesarily a bad thing. But some of the adjectives seem...I don't know how to put it. They are great words,but when they are close with another strong adjective, it seems almost overbearing. That is the best I can explain it. Otherwise, great job!

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

BlueberryMuffins76

Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message

on: March 12, 2015 06:55

Thanks for the input, Maxie! I guess it sounds like something Eugene in Adventures in Odyssey would write, which wasn't what I was going for. But I'm glad to know about all those strong adjectives; I sometimes get excited with unique words & forget most people don't know them & certainly won't want to have to keep looking the dictionary every five sentences.
Update time! Two Dwarves has been undergoing some reconstruction & is going well, thanks to my beta reader. So now I've written 8,898 more words on it between this week & last week! I have one more death scene I need to write, then the other stuff will just be little technical things & adding more description. Thanks for everyone's support! & just so you know, I figured out how to fix that scene & it works much better now.
I also have a question: is it perfectly normal to fangirl over your own characters? I do this way too often...

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 13, 2015 04:16

No problem, Blue.

I have 15,247 words done.

All set for March!

I have a few characters in particular that I like, but I don't think I have fangirled over them. All of my characters are very flawed, and I am constantly trying to layer them and make them more complex. I have obsessed, though, over all of them at one time or another.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

Nifredil

Council Member
Posts: 864
Send Message

on: March 13, 2015 10:33

Well hello everybody!

I have been around, mostly lurking and following everything being written here, but somehow never coming about to post or say anything, and I'm sorry about it...
BUT, I finally have gathered a tiny bit of courage to reply to the latest prompt. OK, it isn't exactly as asked for, as I wrote down the image that appeared on my mind. I won't be offended if you don't like it, I'm not very confident about posting it anyway. And, English is not my native language, so there might be some mistakes to correct. But here it is

~~~

A heavy sweet scent filled the chamber. That was the first thing Querian realized as consciousness was gradually returning to him. His eyelids were so heavy, and he seemed incapable of drawing a breath deep enough to come fully awake.

The scent was oddly familiar. Disturbingly familiar, he decided, grasping at another tendril of reality. There was something...

His hands were bound. A surge of adrenaline pushed the heavy sleepiness aside as this new realization hit him. He attempted to move his arms, but his muscles refused to obey him properly, and he only managed to twist his right wrist inside the silken bond – only to discover it was tight enough to keep him securely tied down. The next attempt was to try and move his legs – and led to the same result. He was going nowhere.

That scent... I reminded him of a female. Yes, the memory was getting clearer now. A beautifl female drow holding a fruit of a brightly violet shade. A shade too bright to be anything good, or natural. Smiling, she had been smiling at him, a warning in that mirthless smile, and saying....

“I see my pet is awake,” a deep, sensual female voice intruded his worried thoughts. “No, don’t open your eyes, just listen.”

Querian did as he was told. His own irregular breathing filled his ears at first. Gradually, he began making out a feint sound of cutting. Something was being cut, something soft, juicy, it was being cut deliberately slowly.

The scent! As it got stronger, it started creeping up his nostrils, clawing its way into his brain. That fruit was the reason of this damned dizziness, this frustrating inability to think! Querian fought to get himself under control and cracked his eyelids open against the Matron Mother’s instructions.

There she was, standing right next to the bed he was tied to, a vision of beauty, if only slightly blurred at the moment, and cutting in slices one of those wicked fruits. While violet on the outside, it was very white on the inside, its grainy flesh reflecting the gentle light cast by faery fire. Querian knew from experience that the taste of the fruit was just as sweet as its scent, but with such a bitter aftertaste it made his tongue twist just remembering it.

“Now, open your mouth, my sweet... I am not going to tell you twice,” a warning penetrated her sensual murmur. “That’s right,” she purred as he complied, and the cool grainy flesh of the fruit brushed against his parted lips.

It went so against everything he was, everything he had ever wanted to be – this obedient, practically enslaved male he had become. But every time he had the crazy idea of an open rebellion against the Matron Mother’s wishes, all he had to do was remember Sor’deyne – whipped bloody, barely holding on to her senses, but still ready to fight to defend him. He had to do this for her, this was the price he was willingly paying so that the one female he cared for, would live.

The foul juice dripped down his tongue and throat. Querian swallowed, and felt the unnatural heat fill his stomach. One day, he thougt, one day he’d find a way out of this spider net, out of the terrifying power of the Matron Mother. But until an opportunity arose, he had to do her every bidding, and allow himself to get drugged.

We still remember, we who dwell In this far land, beneath the trees The starlight on the Western seas...

In the Realm of Ulmo

BlueberryMuffins76

Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message

on: March 13, 2015 11:23

Way to go, Maxie! You're well on you're way to NaNo (you completed it last year, right?).
And since Maxie doesn't fangirl over her characters, anyone else do it? It's, of course, just male characters for me & only certain ones. Although I keep on getting more & more that I really like! But I'm probably just crazy...
Nif, I really enjoyed your prompt! That's a very unique twist on things! That would make an interesting story. Your descriptions are great!

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 14, 2015 03:20

Yes, I did complete last year.

Nif, I enjoyed your prompt as well, it seems like a post in an RP.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 14, 2015 03:50

I wrote this last night (this morning?) at around three AM. I am not quite sure what I think of it yet, so I would love your reaction.

____________________________________________________

I stare at the dwindling flame of the candle. Thick beads of wax slide down it, clustering at the bottom of the candle holder. The silence between the two of us is so think that it is like I am living beneath the waves. Talking about my dreams doesn't come easily to me. Talking about my dreams with my best friend is even worse.

Jed clears his throat. "So, you've just stopped sleeping?"

"Haven't you?" I ask.

"I have different reasons. Too many people moving. Too many people breathing."

"It's funny you say that," I say sharply, "Because I could say that I have heard too many heartbeats fall still."

"It's not real, for you," Jed says, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He's trying to change the subject.

I catch my breath. It's so hard to see in this dimmed room, this place so different than the land that I- we- rule. An alarm clock glows green in the dark. THe candle flame wavers.

"It is real. It will happen eventually."

"Everybody dies," Jed tells me gently, sitting up. He reaches out his hand, stops. I shrink back. Is he trying to touch me? "Angel's come for all of us."

"I know. I think they come for me every night."

"Darkness." Before I can move, Jed has snatched my hand. I try to draw away, but he forces me to look in his eyes. "Never speak like that, again. If Heaven has ears, then so does Hell. Angel's do not make mistakes, and they do notforget. If your so convinced, then think of it like this: they don't want you right now. They'll float by, look at you, and move on."

"They've grabbed my hands. I've felt them," I say.

"Darkness."

I stare at him. "Have you ever felt yourself falling in your sleep?"

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

BlueberryMuffins76

Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message

on: March 14, 2015 06:15

Wow, I'm not sure what I think of it either, Maxie! Definitely interesting! & I like it. However, and this is really personal, I find present tense reads a bit oddly. There's nothing wrong with it, of course; could that be why you have mixed feelings?

BelleBayard

Prancing Pony Moderator & Elf Laundry Mistress
Posts: 3151
Send Message

on: March 14, 2015 06:23

Have been reading an author on Kindle who writes only in first person, present tense. It's taken me a bit to get used to it, but it can be done. However, it does tend to feel strange because almost all authors use past tense, even those that write in first person. That was very intriguing, Maxie. Try it in past tense and see how it feels.

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 14, 2015 10:11

I usually write in first person, present tense. I find that the most riveting booksthat I have read have been in that tense. The Hunger Games, Divergent, The Chemical Garden Trilogy, etc. However, in my books, I do backtrack to first person, past tense, at certain parts where I am revealing some history. So I guess I do both.

I think I posted some book excerpts of mine in here as well, and they were in First person present tense, too. Maybe it's the diolauge bits.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

Nifredil

Council Member
Posts: 864
Send Message

on: March 16, 2015 02:16

@Blue - thank you for your kind words! It could be incorporated in the story I'm slowly writing, yes. I have become very interested in drow, as of late

@maxie - I like this piece! I have no problem with the present tense, nor with first person writing. What I ar a reader would have liked - to have a little more background as to what those people are, and why they're there, etc. I know, if that's mentioned somewhere earlier it being a part of a longer piece, it's different, but if this is the only thing we're getting to read, then I like more information. But that might be just me. LOL

@rhodilwen - your idea sounds very interesting! Especially if there is no real and immediate danger to fight against. However, with so many books out there featuring kids with extraordinary powers, I imagine it could be quite a struggle to come up with a totally original idea.

We still remember, we who dwell In this far land, beneath the trees The starlight on the Western seas...

In the Realm of Ulmo

Cenor

Council Member
Posts: 5267
Send Message

on: March 16, 2015 05:15

Great prompts and pieces everyone!

FYI-I'm changing my Nano to BlueberryMuffins76 and my fanfic.

"Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 16, 2015 05:47

Fine here, Cenor.

Yes, Nif,it is part of a much longer piece.

I would be glad to PM you the first chapter.

Happy Monday!

Prompt 24:

Write a short story about a girl who was offered magical powers. The problem: they were not given to her to save the world. She has to destroy it.

Also,starting this week...ever want to find a writing prompt I've shared previously? Let me know if you have a Pinterest Account,and I would be glad to share the board with you.

I would also like to announce Tip Tuesday! Easy enough- I will post a brief writing tip on this thread...every Tuesday. This, including Prompt Monday, and Tech Wednesday,will also be shared in the Pinterest board, of which I am naming, Writer's Thread.

[Edited on 03/16/2015 by findemaxam48]

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

PSK

Council Member
Posts: 1410
Send Message

on: March 17, 2015 04:44

Here is my response. I don't think it's great personally. I would have liked to write more, but I got tired lol.

“All you have to do is say yes.”
The word rolled through her mind, like a fog, gliding over the sea, but threatening to approach the land at any moment. And if that happened, then the land would crumble, and she wouldn’t be able to think. If she couldn’t think, then she couldn’t decide correctly. If she didn’t decide correctly…
The deep heavy voice resumed.
“Please remember what we ask… and what you as a consequence get.” The voice was deliberate, slow but she wasn’t fooled. Although, she couldn’t see him, she knew him through his voice. His words seemed like velvet, flowing over smooth marble, gliding, impossibly delicately, side stepping hysteria, yet open to emotion.
But she couldn’t listen to him all day. She was surprised to hear herself speak, timid and shaken, sounding nothing at all like the man, and much less confident than she had hoped.
“Give me a minute.”
She waited for his reply, but none came. So she took the time to consider. He had given her the choice. She could have her father released, she could go back to her family. The whole resistance, in fact, would be liberated of the control of her tyrannical husband. When her father ruled the Earth, the people were free and happy. But her husbands’ thirst for power was insatiable, and his intellect could not stand sitting in his throne, overlooking his empty yellow world, where the people were little more than machines. He had to go further. Now the world was dying. He didn’t care for anyone other than himself. His heart was as hard as diamond, his resolve harder still.
But what of the others? There were millions of people on the Earth, good people, and they would die. They would die, as the world crumbled, but then the rest would be free, the Allied planets would be able to breathe easily at last. It would be a triumph, and they were giving her the chance.
But the rest, she loved them. They were innocent.
She saw in her mind the great gathering, the trumpets sounding, she heard the roar of approval at her appearance.
But the Earth, her home for years, the home of her ancestors.
He would destroy it anyway, but was it better him than her?
“You have had your minute,” he said. His voice was even, but she could sense that he was unsure of what she would decide. She looked out of the tower, at the green forests below her. Her mind was made.

"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos

PSK

Council Member
Posts: 1410
Send Message

on: March 17, 2015 04:45

Also I am not sure whether to submit my fruit one. It's more like him cutting a throat... so yeah.

"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos

BlueberryMuffins76

Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message

on: March 17, 2015 04:54

Interesting, PSK! My only suggestion for the prompt response is to tell your readers what your MC decided; it could just be me, but I wasn't sure on that. However, I love how you present the battle in her mind over which choice to make, weighing the options!

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 17, 2015 07:00

Here is our first Tip Tuesday tip!

Aim for 30 chapters of your story. Think of the first five as your opening. Chapters 6 through fifteen should be the set up for your endgame. Chapters sixteen through 27 should be your endgame. And chapters 28 through 30 are your end.

I will post that tip to the Pinterest board!

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 18, 2015 04:31

Happy Tech Wdnesday!

I recently found an app and a website called Evernote. Evernote allows you to create digital notebooks, just like the one Song talked to us about last week, as well as access editing tools and tips right from the site/app. The downside is, some of the features it has cost money. If you have money, then great! If your like me and you don't, it is still a really nice tool to have in your arsenal.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

Cenor

Council Member
Posts: 5267
Send Message

on: March 18, 2015 08:04

Thanks for the tip and tech updates Maxie!

Here is my prompt:

I sat on my throne in my favorite black robes surveying the crowd gathered below to see the new fresco of their illustrious ruler; me. The smooth black staff in my hand feels cold and smooth against my gloved hands and I glare at the peasants murmuring about the artist’s work. A slave holding a little girl moved towards the painting, slowly admiring my angular features depicted well in the flesh colored paint.
“Is that the woman who killed mama?” the little one asked innocently.
The man shushed the child hastily glancing guiltily up at me to see if I had heard; I remained impassive.
“Not now Rebecca,” he hissed.
The man quickly left dragging the girl; I made a note to investigate them later, to see if they were loyal subjects. The little girl was half Earthling; I could see that clearly despite the disguise, her features were soft and lamb-like. Earthlings were now a rare species; the girl would be apprehended soon for the Temple. Memories like dark waves flooded back to me as I settled down in my sable throne.
=======================================
“If you press that button Udine you will destroy Earth.” Yaroth warned.
“But you will gain powers enough to save the galaxy. The sacrifice of that one planet for the galaxy is not evil.” Grood tempted.
“I don’t know…” a young girl stammered. “I was born on that planet…it’s my home.”
Yaroth’s red cloak swooshed across the floor as he drew nearer the girl, his boots clicking on the stone floor. He was tall with a soldier’s bearing and a battle worn face; a Commander of 1,000 though he was still a young man. His blond hair was straight and cut close to the chin and his blue eyes were stern and piercing; an imposing man in the black and red uniform.
“There are other ways to save the galaxy.” He assured.
“But at the cost of many lives and planets!” Grood snapped.
Grood was a thin man clad in black robes with bony fingers and a whiney voice. He was only taller than Udine by a few inches and his narrow beady eyes beamed greed.
“Destroying Earth will take many lives and a planet will be destroyed!” Yaroth retorted. “Udine, do not give up Earth for these powers, large and many though they be. There are people there that would follow a good commander and help defeat the Darkness. They are your people.”
Udine hesitated; her mind was debating between Yaroth, her brother’s closest friend, and Grood, her father’s most trusted advisor. The three moons cast their eerie light into the Temple; the button on the large map on the wall pulsed a bright red light. Earth was one of the few planets on the map that had the choice of taking the magical powers and destroying that planet, or denying them and making it impossible for others in the future to obtain the powers and destroy the planet. All the other planets had been denied, all of them except Earth. Today, she had to decide whether Earth would be destroyed or not.
“Think,” Grood lured, “you could free your father and brother from the Darkness’ dungeons. You could free the galaxy from the Darkness altogether. Think of all the lives you could save. You could be one of the greatest rulers in the entire Galaxy.”
“Udine we are working on freeing your family.” Yaroth assured. “You can save many live by denying.”
The young girl nodded; she walked hesitantly towards the map; one button flashing, the other a dull black. Grood handed her a large black staff to push her choice of buttons. Yes, she would do it, she must! Straightening she raised the staff and pressed the red, blinking button. An overwhelming wave of power came over her and she barely heard Grood laughing and Yaroth shouting, “No, don’t Udine!”
A few minutes later Earth exploded causing a great shock wave that rocked even the Temple’s foundations. Udine woke; she was taller and she could feel the magic coursing through her veins. Grood was gone but the ever faithful Yaroth was helping her up. His eyes betrayed his feelings of loss and betrayal and Udine could hardly look at him.
She did rescue her father and brother. She did defeat the Darkness. She did become the most powerful ruler in the galaxy; even greater and more evil, some said, than the Darkness and she ruled with an iron fist. She had won.
========================
I shook my head as several people bowed before me. Taking it as a sign of disproval they left quickly bowing continuously as they went. I fingered the black staff in my hand reminiscing. I had killed Grood; he had become a threat to my wellbeing. Nevertheless, Yaroth had survived, somehow. He had stayed with me until I turned for what he called “the worse” and then abandoned me and started a Resistance. I don’t know why I let him go, or why he was still alive; I could crush him and his puny band without even lifting a finger, but I didn’t. Scoffing at myself, I rose sweeping a red gloved hand at the guards signaling that I was done for the day. I had won; and you my dear reader must never forget that.

Constructive comments will be helpful.

[Edited on 03/18/2015 by Cenor]

"Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."

BlueberryMuffins76

Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message

on: March 18, 2015 11:02

I really enjoyed it, Mushu! You certainly make Udine an understandable antagonist. I love how you picture her sitting on the throne (although the first image I got was of Thranduil, for some reason...), & your flashback is very effective. Did she have any motivation to destroy earth other than save her father & brother? It seems to me like she's the more independent type, but that could be because I didn't know her before she chose to destroy earth & became a dark ruler. Anyway, great job!
(Just so ya'll know, I got nothing on this prompt & don't expect anything either!)

rhodilwen

Council Member
Posts: 828
Send Message

on: March 19, 2015 02:10

That was really good, Cenor!

And, I love Evernote! I have it on my phone and I use it all the time. I have so many different notebooks for different story ideas. It's greatness.

PSK

Council Member
Posts: 1410
Send Message

on: March 19, 2015 03:44

Cenor, that was fantastic! A proper fantasy writer

If there is anything I would change, it is that I don't like the name Grood, but that's just me.

"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains." ~ The Doom of Mandos

Cenor

Council Member
Posts: 5267
Send Message

on: March 19, 2015 04:15

@Blue- Her other goal was to destroy the Darkness (that I have no clue who or what it is

)

@Rhodi-Thanks!

@PSK-Thank you! Well does not liking the name make you not like the person?

Update: I am working on the history of my countries (example: beliefs, culture, background, people). I don't know how many words I am into my mini Nano. Also, my second chapter in my Fili fanfic is close to completion.

"Every good pirate has an alias" Felix glanced down, looking at contraption around the stump of his wrist. "Hook," he answered. "My name will be Hook."

BlueberryMuffins76

Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message

on: March 19, 2015 04:54

Ok, I'm totally thrilled to have completed the mini-NaNo I think on Sunday & haven't done much to Two Dwarves since then, but I did get 11,053 words total! Which makes a grand total of 45,551 words in 22 chapters (I've excluded all the notes & chapter titles I have within the text or else my count would be 45,751). I do need to go back & probably lengthen the beginning; I have a romance that happens a bit too quickly, which was probably part of my problem all along. Thanks, everyone, for your support! Even if people don't give me ideas, I've found it helps me to just express my concerns & issues to other people.
As for my other writing, I haven't been working on many stories excepting the one Mushu & I are writing together (& I really want to fangirl over the male MC!) & still have many unfinished works...& I apparently have gotten gruesome in my work because I had a NC-17 chapter in something, which surprised me as much as it did everyone I told!

findemaxam48

Council Member
Posts: 9188
Send Message

on: March 19, 2015 05:22

Here is my prompt! Still same characters, as I think I will put this maybe into my second or third book, but different character perspective than the previous one I have used.

--------------------

I dig my fingertips into the bark of the tree in order to maintain my balance. It makes my whole body hurt, and the pain doubles when the tree begins to react, too.

I lower myself onto my stomach, lounging in my tree branch. This position is moderately more comfortable, but my blood still sends sharp waves through my veins.

Below me, caves torrent darkness out onto the Earth. A river knifes it's way through the mountain pass. In the distance, the ground expands out, and then falls short, plummeting back towards a valley. We are nearly there.

Life tugs me, makes my eyes look upward. I lift my gaze to look South, Southeast. There. We will need to weave through the trees,according to my acute senses, but it will be safe. Difficult, but safe.

I look down at my companions. Darkness is pacing, and I give it about fifteen more senses before she starts to scream at me to come down.

I sit up, slowly. A stunning ache starts in my back and spreads out through my whole body. I quickly decend from my perch, trusting my senses to guide me to a handhold.

So beautiful. It's a pity that I will need to destroy this world.

I hit the ground, and Darkness starts asking questions immedietely. "How far off do you think we are from getting to the end?"

"You know,I didn't need to climb up there to see that," I say, agitated, taking my backpack from my twin. "I did it to get some peace and quiet for a few minutes."

"No kidding," Darkness says.

Her younger brother clears his throat. "Can I be the next one to climb up?"

"Randy," Darkness snaps, and I can't help but grin. Before a sibling fight can ensue, I say, "To answer your question, elevan miles. If you want to continue all night, we can get there before the sun rises."

"Is the way safe?"

"Yes, the best path is-"

Darkness cuts me off. "I'll lead," She says, starting off.

I roll my eyes. "Wrong way."

She about-faces quickly without losing stride. "Like I said, I'll lead. Jed, you guard the back."

I wait for the others to start walking before I do. "So demanding," I mutter under my breath as we walk.

Tree branches droop down and seem to touch the top of my head, my shoulders, as I pass. The energy the plants give off renews me, and simply for personal amusement, I focus my stare on a broken limb. It right's itself immedietely, and, just to stay on top of things, I wave my hand dismissively at a tangle of ivy as I pass it by.

The sound of tearing reaches my ears, and the lifeless plants crumple and die.

A bit more practice. A bit more practice until it works on a human.

I stare ahead of me. Light filters down in near perfect columns, lighting our path. It's incredible. How nature can be so stunning and so deadly.

Deadly. I repeat it to myself over and over. Deadly. I will need to use the Earth around me to a stunning affect, in order to fend of Outside. And, if I don't die...

I settle my gaze on Darkness.

...I'll get what I want.

------------------------------------------

So, there's that. Excellent job on finishing the NaNo, Blue! And Cenor, that was good. It reminded me somewhat of Guardians of the Galaxy.

We were one in the same, running like moths to the flame. You'd hang on every word I'd say, but now they only ricochet.

BlueberryMuffins76

Council Member
Posts: 403
Send Message

on: March 19, 2015 07:40

Thanks, Maxie!
And I enjoyed your prompt! The first-person present tense still throws me for a loop, but I think it's just where I'm not used to it & I'm a consistent kind of person, if that makes sense. However, it worked really well for this piece & I don't have any suggestions that I know of.

<< First 31 32 33 34 35 Last >>

Members Online

UserOnline

Messages

Forum

Welcome Guest