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Rilain
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: October 23, 2004 11:28
These have probably been said already, but I'll say it again.

Gimli:That still only counts as one!


Gandalf: Now, listen carefully. Lord Denethor is Boromir's father. To give him news of his beloved son's death would be most unwise. And do not mention Frodo, or the Ring. And say nothing of Aragorn, either. In fact, it's better if you don't speak at all, Peregrin Took.
drogo_baggins
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: July 04, 2005 09:35
frodo-bilbo, have you been in the gaffers old brew again?
bilbo-no, well, yes, but thats not the point.

those lines are just about the funniest in the trilogy in my opinion. it comes in the FotR, after the s.b.'s are looking for bilbo at his party.
i also like the part in farmer maggots field.

merry-I dont what he =s so upset about. its only a couple of carrots.
pippin-and some cabbages. and and those three bags of potatoes we lifted the week before. and the mushromms the week before that.
merry-yes pippin, my point is, hes clearly overreacting.

these are funny.
~Aiwë~
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: July 05, 2005 06:18
I like in FOTR EE when Frodo and Sam are walking out of the bar. I love Sam's face.
Sam: (mumbling) Boy, mind who you're sweet-talkin'.
Frodo: Don't worry, Sam. Rosie knows an idiot when she sees one.
Sam: (stopping short) Does she?

Boromir: They have a cave troll.

Legolas: Shall I describe it to you, or would you like me to find you a box?

Legolas: Final Count, forty-two.
Gimli: Forty-two? That’s not bad for a pointy-eared Elvish princeling. I myself am sitting pretty on forty-three.
(Legolas shoots Uruk that Gimli was sitting on.)
Legolas: Forty-Three.
Gimli: He was already dead.
Legolas: He was twitching.
Gimli: He was twitching because he’s got my ax embedded in his nervous system!

Pippin: What are you doing?
Merry: Nothing. The world’s back to normal, that’s all.
Pippin: No, it isn’t. I’m starving.
Lordjason
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: July 05, 2005 08:27
A line I found not only to be funny but creative is when gandalf says to Frodo:
"A wizard is never late. nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."
fbc
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: July 07, 2005 11:34
I love all of Pippin's lines! He's funny!
KernoBaggins
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 08, 2005 07:45
I like Bilbo's speach.

It goes somethin like this:
"I don't know half of you as much as I would like, and I like half of you more than you deserve.."
or somethin like that.
LadyWoodelf
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 09, 2005 12:00
There are so many things that made me laugh.

Pippin: What about breakfast?
Aragorn: You've already had it.
Pippin: We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast?
Merry: I Don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.
Pippin: What about elvenses, lunchen, afternoon tea, dinner, supper. He's heard about them hasn't he?

Pippin: Great! Where are we going?

Gimli: Not the beard!!!

Legolas: Shall I describe it to you, or would you like me to find you a box?

Gimli: Don't tell the elf.

When Aragorn tries to pour out Eowyn's soup.

Legolas: I feel something. A slight tingling in my fingers. I think it's affecting me.
Gimli: What did I say? He can't hold his liquor. (Then he crosses his eyes and falls over.)
Legolas: Game over.

Gimli: An Elf will go underground, but a Dwarf still not. Oh, I'd never hear the end of it.

Gimli: That still only counts as one.

Gimli: Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?

Legolas: Final count. 42.
Gimli: 42! That's not bad for a pointy-eared Elvish princeling. I myself am sitting pretty on 43.
Legolas: 43
Gimli: He was already dead.
Legolas: He was twitching.
Gimli: He was twitching because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system!
Shadow_fax
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 09, 2005 01:45
Oh so many funny lines in the films.

Merry - What do they eat when they can't get hobbit?

Gimli - I am wasted on cross-county. We Dwarves are natural sprinters. Very dangerous over short distances.

Orc - What about their legs? They don’t need those. Ooh, they look tasty

Pippin - *Whispering* They think we have the Ring.
Merry - *Whispering* Shh! As soon as they find out we don’t, we’re dead.

Pippin - don't talk to it Merry, don't encourage it.

Gimli - This new Gandalf’s more grumpy than the old one

Frodo - Go back Sam, I'm going to Mordor alone.
Sam - Of course you are, and I'm coming with you

Treebeard - We lost the Entwives.
Pippin - Oh, I'm sorry. How did they die?

Gandalf - Be silent. Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crude words with a witless worm.

Theoden - Who am I, Gamling?

Smeagol - What's taters precious, what's taters eh?
Sam - PO-TAY-TOES! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew

Gimli - Bring your pretty face to my axe

Gollum - She's always hungry, she always needs to feed. All she gets is nasty orcses
Smeagol - And they doesn't taste very nice, does they precious?



And so many more, which i'm too tired to think of tonight.


EDIT: Oh and in the cast commentaries,

Sam - Can you see the bottom?
Billy - I can see your bottom! Hilarious



[Edited on 9/9/2005 by Shadow_fax]
asleepingvision
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 10, 2005 06:01
Gimli:
That still counts only as one!


I actually squealed and burst out laughing while i was watching the movie in the theaters. I got a lot of odd looks... I wonder why...
SeenZ
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 11, 2005 06:08
When Frodo and Sam first capture Gollum,
Gollum: We swears to do what master of the precious wants. We swears on... the precious!

Sam asking Galadriel: Have you run out of those nice shiny daggers?

Frodo saying: Real Elvish Rope.
and Roast Chicken!
Shadowfax_Pip
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 12, 2005 10:00
Okay, this is a little long, so bear with me.

Merry: He doesn't look too happy, does he?
Pippin: Not too happy at all, Merry.
Merry: Still, I suppose the view would be quite nice.
Pippin: Oh, yes. It's a quality establishment. I hear the staff are very good.

And: Longbottom Leaf! The best pipeweed in all the Southfarthing!
- Merry
And: Oh, I get it. *taps nose* Don't be hasty. *grins*
- Pippin

They don't expect me to do any fighting. Do they?

Shall I describe it to you, or would you like me to find you a box?

Hey, ho to the bottle I go/To heal my heart and drown my woe/ the rain may fall the wind may blow/ and there still be/ many miles to go/ Sweet is the sound of the falling rain/and the brook that leaps from hill to plain/ but better than rain or rippling brook/is a mug of beer inside this Took! :cheers:

et:
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The world was fair in Durin's day
knight_of_gondor
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 14, 2005 09:13
the funnyest line in lord of the rings
Legolas just killed the mumakil and then gimli says "thats still only conts as 1"
when Gandalf says "Be silent. Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crude words with a witless worm."

they some of the funnest lines in lord of the rings
Tyrann
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 14, 2005 05:28
The Classic was in TTT, when the soldiers had lined the ramparts. Cue to Gimli (or just his helmet) and he says "You could have picked a better spot!!"
Gimli was so cool and so funny! Oh yeah, and the hobbits too
pippin_lovin_fool
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 15, 2005 11:05
O.k, the already mentioned like three billion times quote with breakfast (but thats beacause its so darn funny!) I also liked the scene with gandalf and pippin in the EE of Rotk.
Gandalf: *just finished talking about the assured destruction of Minas Tirith*

Pippin: well...Minas tirith.....were are we off to next?

Gandalf: Oh, no , we cant leave now.
And the look on pippin's face.....PRICELESS!!! i think all the movies, theatrical and EE have some of the funniest quotes...mostly from pippin, however. Love him for the funny, really love him for the sexy accent.....
Shadowfax_Pip
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 16, 2005 08:27
When they're in the Mines of Moria, and Gandalf doesn't remember where they are.
Pippin: We're lost, aren't we?
Merry: Shhh! Gandalf's thinking!
Pippin: Merry?
Merry: What?
Pippin: I'm hungry.

Also "final count" in the TT EE:
Gimli: He was already dead.
Legolas: He was twitching.
Gimli: He was twithing because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system!
:cheers:
___________________________
Twitching, tufted tail,
A toasty, tawny tummy,
A tired tiger. An alliterive haiku by me, thank you, thank you.
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Alie
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 16, 2005 04:53
I Love that "They have a cave troll" line too, it is hillarious!!!!

that^^^ and the one were Sam is all
"so what were you up to?"
And gollum replies oh so sauvely:
"sneeking"

tee hee! gets me every time!:love:

(and if this is ok to mention in teh movie forum I love the line in the book where Mery wakes up in the houses of healing adn is all "I'm hungery, whats the time?"... if not, sorry)
Aranel_Elenlin
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: September 17, 2005 04:26
I think yall have already covered most of my faves (giggles)..... but u forgot one... omg... i am trying not to laugh right now... not working!!

gollum: They triked us... nasty hobbitses takes it from us....
Faramir: What did they take from you?
gollum: MY..... PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!
(pause)
gollum: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!


omg.... that face!!! how high pitched that was.... just the way it was done.... im not sure witch dose it, but i start rolling every time i even think about it!!!!
IthilionofMirkwood
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: February 16, 2007 02:44
at the celebratio in meduseld (ROTK?)

L: ... i think it's afecting me!
G: (clearly thoroughly hammered) you she, he can't hold hish liquor! *gimli's eyes cross, he collapses*
L: game over

i DIED laughing here!
Halbarad_Dunedain
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: February 17, 2007 08:18
...and who could forget...

"Mushrooms!"
cirdaneth
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: February 18, 2007 12:56
Gimli (with mail-shirt trailing 6 inches on the floor): It's a little tight across the chest.
prior_illusionist
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: March 20, 2007 04:00
i think the funniest line comes from the TT.

Gimli: Well lad, whatever luck you live by...lets hope it lasts the night
Legolas: Your friends are with you Aragorn
Gimli:Let's hope they last the night
Sunstar
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: March 22, 2007 03:46
And Gimli's comment on the Army of the Dead - that they're handy to have around "despite the fact they're dead."
Thalifëaiel
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: April 07, 2007 05:05
This is not exactly my favourite line, but it is funny, and catches Legolas in one of his random moments. But it really is only funny because it's random.

Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli were chasing the Uruk-hai to save Merry and Pippin, and suddenly Legolas comments: "They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them."
Elvothien45
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Post RE: Funniest Line
on: April 08, 2007 09:59
Almost everything Merry and Pippin say....the whole 'drinking game' (ROTK)....and also Boromir in FOTR in Balin's tomb: 'They have a cave troll.......'
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