| AerhÃril |
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| Vanalosswen |
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| Raynn |
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| Ireth_elfmaiden |
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| AerhÃril |
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| eireen |
 RE: Overcoming (scripted)
on: January 23, 2005 06:12
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Here goes the post co-written by Aerhíril, Kelly, Narbeleth and myself. Enjoy 
Thearl sighed quietly, so quietly that only his sister could hear it. He was trying to hide his impatience with Dungan's words. Was that man deaf? He hoped that he had explained his opinion and his reasons clearly enough, but it seemed that he had not. Knowing that these questions had been directed to him, and to him only, he knew he had to stand up once again and explain everything.
“As I have already said,” Thearl began slowly, looking at Dugan, his gaze serious but calm, “I do not think this broach is an evidence of anything. So, as a result, I cannot consider it or not, don't you think?“
"But it could be, and you will not see that!" Dugan replied with offense. He had been holding a lot of emotions in since the death of his wife, and he was sure he wouldn't be able to control them any longer.
Thearl looked at Dugan calmly. “I only say what I think is right. I don't claim that I am right. I don't. And as every person who sits here, I have both the right to speak my mind, as well as to have my own opinion. And so do you.“
"No, you may not claim that you are right. But you know all too well that every single man in this hall will always agree with what you say. They always have done and always will," Dugan replied, this time much cooler than he had done before. "If you say it isn't evidence, then every man in this hall shall agree with you and discard it as you have just done, leaving us once again with no one to investigate. What if they are guilty?"
Thearl nodded. “Believe me that I also would like to see someone I could blame for what is happening here. Someone that I could make pay for what is happening to us...but I won't risk ruining our good relations with the elves...not now. We don't need more trouble and grief for this town...“ he said calmly.
"Well then what else are we to do?" Dugan turned away from Thearl with annoyance, but spun back round to meet him with his next words. "Shall we wait here until someone else dies?"
“If we attack those elves without any reason, many men will die. And I won't have it. I don't want any of us to get killed because someone thought that a broach was proof enough...“ Thearl said.
"I'm not suggesting that we charge into a war. I am suggesting that this needs further investigation!" he stamped as his temper began to slip out of hand.
“Calm down, Dugan,” Thearl said in a warning tone. “I won't change my mind until I hear something that will make me reconsider my opinion. So far I hasn't heard anything like that. And as I said, I have the right to my own opinion, be it right or wrong.“
"What will make you change your mind then?" He replied through gritted teeth. Being told to calm down was not the way to calm his nerves, it just made him more irritable. "Because from where I am standing it looks as if you don't want this town to come out of the blight."
Thearl could not help but glare at Dugan. “Then you are terribly wrong, Dugan. I have been working for these four years hard to do everything that I could do to help this town. And I would do everything to end this blight, as long as the solution has any chances of success...“
Dugan stared back at Thearl as he walked around him in a small circle, but even then their hard gaze did not break. "And I think you are staring a solution in the face; but that you also lack the wit to see it."
“I warn you, Dugan,” Thearl said calmly, though inside he could feel his blood boiling. “You have no right to offend me in this way.”
Dwelian was just stood there, and like the rest of the hall was absolutly gripped by the events between Thearl and Dugan. All he could do was watch.
"You warn me?" Dugan scoffed as he stopped circling him to stare him directly in the eyes. "Then perhaps I should warn you too."
“Really? What did I do to deserve a warning?” Thearl asked quietly.
"Nothing," Dugan repiled. "You just have really caused me to have reason to resent you right now." His muscules tensed slightly, for he wanted to say a lot more to him, but had managed to put it as 'politly' as possile.
Andy had been listening quietly at Thearl's side all this time, not planing on joining the conversation. But now it was getting bad. Andy was afraid things would get too out of hand and that someone would get hurt. Before Thearl could respond to Dugan's last comment, Andy put his hand gently on his friend's shoulder. "Thearl," he said softly.
Thearl turned his head slightly, and the hard look in his eyes softened when he saw Andy there. "Yes?" he asked very softly, not wishing for everyone else to hear this.
"Patience," was all Andy said. Then he squeezed Thearl's shoulder gently.
Thearl nodded slightly, and then turned to face Dugan once again. “Well, if you don't have anything else to say, Dugan, let's end this pointless discussion..." he said softly.
"Pointless? You would like that wouldn't you, you would like to end right now, to end the enire council. Wouldn't it be great if we finished with everyone believing you," he paced about almost in the same spot.
“I don't want this Council to end now if anyone has anything else to say. I just think that you should sit down, and try to calm down. Offending me won't help you in any way..." Thearl said softly, trying to control his anger.
Dugan looked hard at him, now unwilling to sit down because he had directly been told to. "You know that no one here would dare speak against you..."
Thearl did not know what els he could say to this man who was annoying him terribly. “Just sit down,” he said, feeling his anger rising.
"Why should I?" he protested. Mistel was doing her very best to hide, and when her father glanced at her she motioned for him to sit down. But he was a very stubborn man by nature, and would not budge.
In the back of the Hall, Enid looked at her husband worriedly, and squeezed his hand lightly. She was afraid that this argument was getting dangerous and could get out of hand. Cai was sleeping soundly in Elden's arms, and even the slightly raised voices did not wake him up. The child looked and must have been exhausted. “Elden?” she whispered softly, looking to her husband for some reassurance.
Elden glanced at Enid, squeezing her hand back. "Shh..." he soothed. He didn't know what was going on, nor how it would turn out. But he would he would stay with his wife and son. He indicated to Enid that they should turn their attention back to the argument.
"You're not exactly helping yourself..." Dugan said as he clenched his fists.
Thearl clenched his fists in anger. But he would not show his anger, or annoyance.
Andy put his hand on Thearl's shoulder again, before the situation got out of control. Then he stepped forward so that Dugan could see him. He kept his face calm, with no expression. "We are in a council, gentlemen," he said softly. "We are all here to discuss our options. Not to argue one-on-one. This is not a singularly personal situation for any of us. True, Dugan, you lost your wife. And every husband here knows what you must be going through right now. But you are not the only one who cares about this situation. It effects all of us. And we are all equally concerned." He glanced at Thearl. "Every man here has a right to his own opinion. And no man should feel obligated to vote for anything if he does not believe it's right. This isn't about arguing, or trying to convince each other. This is about putting forth all the evidence, and then each man making his own, independent decision based on what he thinks is right." Andy turned to face the rest of the room. All eyes were on him. "Thearl's opinion is his own, and none of you are required to agree with him. You have minds of your own. You are all capable of making your own decisions. Take the evidence that has been presented here tonight. Take it and judge for yourself. Do not follow one man's ideas simply because he is more respected than others." He paused, then turned back to Thearl. "I suggest a recess, so we can all go home and think about everything that has been said here today. No decision need be made tonight."
The Mayor had been watching and listening to the discussions, determined not to speak. His son might have been willing to influence the people’s minds, but he didn’t want to do so. He wanted them to think for themselves and then say if they’d agree or disagree… It had been very hard for him not to intervent the discussion when the red-haired woman at the beginning of the council had been speaking. She had been rude towards the men in the Hall and had violated the rules of the community. But just before the situation got out of hand, it had ended and the Mayor found himself relieved not to be forced to kick the woman out.
This situation, however, seemed to be getting really ugly, there was no choice left but standing up and asking the two men to be polite and nice to each other.
But, just before he could rise and speak, another man spoke, and Amman instantly recognised the man as Andy. ‘Andy’, he thought while he gritted his teeth. Of course he should have known that Andy wouldn’t keep himself out of the discussion. Whenever he felt like he had to 'do the right thing’. The meddler, he would throw himself into the discussion even if he was totally out of place.
It was not his duty to end conversations like that, it was a Mayor’s task to do so… If Andy had wanted to have the authority he should have become Mayor…
Amman sighed and shook his head lightly. There would come a day when he would fix his problems with that man, probably soon… But not today…
Thearl did not say anything, only nodded silently. That probably was the best solution to the problem. People would have some time to think everything over, and maybe they would be able to make any decisions next time. Then he looked over at Dugan, hoping that the man would finally sit down.
But Dugan just stood there, unwilling to admit defeat. He was still largely annoyed, and irritated beyond belief. He saw Thearl looking at him, and then himself looked at Andy as if he were assesing his situation. “But—“ he started, unsure to how he would finish.
“Dugan,” a stern voice spoke suddenly. He looked around, unaware that many others did too. The man who now spoke was Dwelian. “Sit down,” he insisted, not leaving his statement open to nagotiations. And to everyone’s surprise, Dugan swallowed his pride and returned sheepishly to his seat, and Dwelian was sure he could feel the tension slowly vanish as he did so.
When everyone had sat themselves down the Mayor rose and walked back to the lectern, a moment later he stood next to Dwelian. “I want to thank you for your suggestions, Mister. And we will keep your ideas in mind. I think everyone would like to sleep on it for another night so they can make up their minds about this important issue. I suggest we hold a new council tomorrow so we can decide what we, as a town, want to do. We will vote then, wheter or not there is going to be an investigation, or maybe even a declaration of war against the elves.” He waited a few seconds to make sure that he had everyone’s attention and then continued. “I think then that we can close this council, unless someone still has something to say...?” Again he paused, but when nobody reacted he cleared his throat and spoke again. “Then I will consider this council closed. Tomorrow at 7pm another council will be held. I hope to see all of you here then, so we can come to a final decision. Have a good night, and I will see you tomorrow.”
After he had spoken the last words, the Mayor climbed off the stage and disappeared through a small door that lead directly to his former study. He needed some time to consider his next steps…
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| Narbeleth |
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| kellymulder |
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| AerhÃril |
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| Raynn |
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| kellymulder |
RE: Overcoming (scripted)
on: January 27, 2005 08:48
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((cowritten by me and eireen  ))
Devin stood up to look for Caelyn as he had promised her to take her and Amanda home. He walked around the Hall; using his length to look over the heads, but he couldn't see red curls between all the others. Maybe she had already gotten outside...
As soon as he left Dwelian, Thearl began to look around to see where Devin was. It was not a very easy task, since small groups of people were scattered all over the place, talking about the night's events. And on his mind, Thearl still had last Dwelian's words. What was that man thinking? Had he already not challenged him enough?
Caelyn had hid herself in a dark corner in which she was able to view the door. Suddenly she saw a long appearance coming through it, and she recognized him as Devin. Quickly she walked towards him, pulling Amanda with her. "Devin, there you are. I've been waiting for you."
Devin saw Caelyn and he smiled. "I've been looking for you, but I couldn't find you. Are you ready to go home?"
Finally Thearl noticed Devin, and walked in his friend's direction, but when he came closer, he realized that Devin was not alone. He was with that woman who had caused trouble during the council. Was it possible that this was the woman his friend had mentioned earlier? “Devin?” Thearl said, placing his hand on Devin's shoulder, as he came to stand beside his friend.
"Yes in a second I…” But that was all she could say as the next moment the man who had told her to shut up and to apology appeared behind Devin. She shot her eyes to the ground and waited for him to leave, she didn't want to talk to this man.
Devin looked around when he felt the hand on his shoulder. "Thearl." he greeted his friend. "May I introduce you to Caelyn? -and Caelyn?" He turned around to the small woman "This is my best friend Thearl."
Thearl looked at Caelyn, and still, his gaze was calm, without any reproach. “Pleasure to meet you,” Thearl answered politely, looking at Caelyn. “I regret that our first meeting, if it could be called so, was so unfortunate. “
Caelyn looked up and confronted Thearl's eyes. "It's my pleasure as well. And yes, I hope that our next meetings will be better then this one has been."
Devin looked from one to the other... it was a really awkward situation, neither his friend, nor the woman who had helped him so great earlier seemed very comfortable.
“I certainly hope so. And please, do not take offence at my words, for they were not spoken or meant to be such an offence. It's just that during a council like this one, we have to stick to some rules...“ Thearl said softly, wishing to tell the woman not to worry too much about what had happened.
Caelyn sighed softly... "My words weren't meant to be an offence all the same. Whether I agree with that rules or not, that's not the case. From now on I will know my place. Forgive me, it was the anger of the moment which made me forget who, or even more… what I was."
"That's already forgiven," Thearl answered softly. "Don't trouble your mind about it any longer."
"I won't" Caelyn said a little sharper then she had meant to. She was just tired and wanted to go home.
Thearl did not answer, instead just looked at Devin. He wanted to talk with his friend, but was it possible now that the woman was with them?
Devin looked back, telling Thearl with his eyes that he couldn't talk when Caelyn was with them.
But that Thearl already knew. He wondered if they would be able to talk tonight at all. He needed to talk.
Caelyn saw the two men exchanging looks and knew that she should be going right now. "I will go over there, I have something to discuss with Cathy's mother. I'll see you later Devin, here at this place, ok?”
Thearl was very glad that she decided to leave them alone for now. They would have a little bit time to talk.
Devin smiled at Caelyn. "Sure... I will see you later." he said as Caelyn left.
Thearl breathed quietly in relief when he saw Caelyn leave. Then he turned to his friend. “I'm sorry I appeared so without a warning...I guess I shouldn't have interrupted your conversation...“
"Oh Thearl that really doesn't matter. I wanted to speak to you as well. I had expected you to come. In fact... I was waiting in the hope to see you before I had to go and the woman home."
“You were?” Thearl said, smiling slightly. “Then I'm glad I didn't interrupt you,” he added, looking at Devin. “I just wanted to talk to you before you had to leave...“
"It's ok Thearl” Devin said as he smiled back
“So...can we go somewhere?” Thearl asked quietly. He did not feel like talking with so many people around.
"Sure" Devin said, looking around for a place private. "Where do you want to go?"
"Anywhere where we can have some peace, I'm tired of people," Thearl said quietly. "Maybe over there?" he said, pointing up the street. 'There aren't many people there..."
"That's a good idea. „Devin said and he started walking to the place Thearl had pointed out.
Caelyn was relieved she could leave the company of the men. Besides, this was an excellent opportunity to talk her neighbour and ask her if Amanda could stay with Cathy in the morning. She turned around to Amanda. “Let’s try to find Cathy, ok? Then you can ask if she’s able to play tomorrow.”
Amanda smiled. “Great!”
Soon enough Caelyn spotted her neighbours. After a short talk they agreed that Amanda and Cathy would be able to play together in the morning and that Amanda would come home again at lunchtime. After she had ended the short conversation, Caelyn and Amanda returned to the place where they had talked to Devin earlier and they sat down to wait for his return.
"So, what do you think of the Council?" Thearl asked his friend quietly as they were walking.
Devin hesitated... "I don't know... I heard so many different opinions..." He sighed. "But I think you are right, Thearl."
"Thank you," Thearl said softly. "I know this all is so confusing...and the council did not go too well either..."
"No... it was quite a mess indeed." Devin said
"Yes it was...“ Thearl agreed. ”And the worst thing is, that this Dwelian can speak really well...whereas our people, they can't...and so, as a result, those speaking the truth don't seem to be speaking it after all...and people believe Dwelian..."
"The way he puts things makes you believe him, even if it's completely ridiculous."
"That's right. For a moment there, I nearly believed him myself..." Thearl admitted.
Devin smiled weakly and looked around, the street was empty. "Where did you want to talk about?"
"Well...first of all, I wanted to talk about something which definitely won't be comfortable to you. But it cannot be avoided..." he looked apologetically at his friend.
"Yes?" Devin asked raising one of his heavy eyebrows.
"Well, we didn't have time to talk about it before the council...but it's about you fainting while we were talking..."Thearl began hesitantly. He knew Devin would not like this topic.
"We did discuss it, didn't we?"
"No, we did not."
Devin sighed heavily. "I don't think I want to discuss it now anyway, I'm tired and I have to bring Caelyn home..."
"But we need to discuss it, Devin," Thearl said seriously, placing his hand to his friend's shoulder. "And you do have some time."
"If it must..." Devin said reluctantly
"Did it happen to you before, Devin? I mean before you fainted then...But tell me the truth..." Thearl prompted. He needed to help his friend somehow; he would not stand by and watch him starving himself to death.
"It did not happen before today, I swear."
"Then you must be careful, because it might happen again..."Thearl said worriedly, not sure if Devin was telling him the truth.
"Who says that it should happen again, I was just a bit dizzy because I didn't eat enough today."
"And probably yesterday...and the day before that...Devin you have to stop with it!" Thearl said.
"There is not enough food..." Devin protested.
"There is enough food, Devin..." Thearl said softly, and patiently. "Enough for you to eat it."
"No there isn't Thearl... I can handle eating a little less, I just have use less energy...and then everything will be just fine. I'm alright Thearl, don't worry for me"
"But you can't stop using less energy, working as you are. You have to eat some more, Devin..."Thearl was trying to make his friend see sense, but he could tell that it was not working.
"I can't Thearl, don't you see?" Devin said his big eyes shot wide open.
"Why?" Thearl asked calmly, keeping his palm on Devin's shoulder. "Why can't you?"
"Because I can't take food when I feel like there are so many others who want to eat it too."
"But Devin, you and your family get your own rations. And it's meant for you..."
"And my family..."
"Yes. And each person gets equally the same ration, Devin..."Thearl explained everything once again, knowing that Devin knew it already anyway.
"I know how the system works Thearl. But I don't need all of it, so why not give that to those who do need it?"
"But Devin... your aunt and Athele get as much as you do. They don't need your food..." It was hard to say so for Thearl, seeing what he was doing himself...
"They do." Devin said softly, "haven't you seen Athele growing thinner and thinner with every day that passes? I fear that something might happen to her..."
"But before something happens to her, you'll get sick first. You need to eat more! Imagine what will happen to your aunt and Athele if you get sick...“
Devin sighed, he didn't know what to answer... maybe Thearl was right but that still wouldn't justify it for himself. How can one change a feeling like this?
"Devin..." Thearl said softly, looking at his friend. "What can I do to help you?"
"I... I don't know Thearl... I appreciate your worries and care but... everything is so hard right now... I do not know what to do...”
"I can only imagine, my friend," Thearl said softly. "I think you'll need some help from all of us...this has to end..."
"Thank you..." Devin said truthfully. He knew Thearl wanted to do anything to help him... He would do the same for Thearl. But Devin wasn't sure if this was something he could solve this matter with the help of others. He had to find a way on his own.
"I really mean it, my friend. Even if it means watching you eating your meals..." Thearl said only half-joking.
"I don't know if that would be such a great idea." Devin said frowning.
"Why?" Thearl asked, looking at Devin.
"I don't like people watching me when I'm eating." Devin said with a grin.
"You'd get used to it. Especially since you were doing quite well just a few hours ago..."
"Well... you didn't know how awful I felt then... you have no idea." Devin said softly, staring at the ground.
"I'm sorry, Devin...but this was necessary...and we both know that it was..."Thearl said quietly.
"Let's change the subject ok? I don't want to talk about it anymore..."
Thearl nodded slightly. It was as he thought, he would have to talk to Athele about it, to have Devin's family's help with it. He hoped that Rethe managed to find her friend.
"Was there something else you wanted to talk about?"
Thearl thought about the answer for a moment. Should he mention what Dwelian had said to him just a few minutes ago? He did not think so, in the end Devin still was not sure what to think, and Thearl did not want to try and help him to make up his mind. And should he try to talk with his best friend about his trouble? About what he felt after everything what had happened on that day? He needed to talk about it, but was it the right time now? When part of Devin was focused on Caelyn, and wondering when he would be able to get her home? His friend was currently too busy to talk, or so it seemed...
"Thearl?" Devin asked
"What?" Thearl asked before realizing what his friend wanted. "Oh I'm sorry. I think that's all..." he said softly.
"Are you sure? You seem troubled, my friend."
"I don't want to take more of your time, you're busy," Thearl said softly. But he knew he needed it. He needed a talk with his friend, maybe even to cry on his shoulder. But how could he do that now? With Devin thinking about taking Caelyn home?
"You are my best friend Thearl... I always have time for you."
"Always, but not now..." Thearl corrected.
"What do you mean by that? Do you think that some small red haired woman is more important to me then you?"
"No, no, of course that's not what I meant," Thearl said quickly. "But you promised to take her home, and right now...I don't think I could...I need much more time than a few minutes, my friend..."
"Shall I come to you after I brought Caelyn home?"
"Won't you be tired?" Thearl asked worriedly. In the end he knew his friend needed some rest much more than he did.
"I will get my rest Thearl... don't you go telling me that I should sleep more too." Devin smiled.
Thearl smiled slightly hearing that. "It's only for your own good, my friend. You should appreciate the care, not scold me for it."
"I appreciate your care, you know that. I was just joking." Devin said dropping his smile.
"I know...I'm just not sure if I want you to stay up all the night to listen to my silly problems..." he said hesitantly.
"Your problems are never silly Thearl. No problems are silly." That was what his father had always told him when he was younger; if something really mattered to you, if it really bothered you then it wasn’t silly and you should be open to talk about it… No problem is silly, no question is stupid. His father had told him a thousand times… Suddenly he wished his father was here; he would probably handle this situations a lot better. Even though 17 years had passed since the fire… Devin still missed both his parents occasionally.
Thearl nodded slightly. "Though this time I feel like they are...you know... in the end I'm a man, not a female...I shouldn't be so weak, and ready to cry any minute...and that's what I'd do if I only could..."
"Every man has the right to cry, especially in times like these. You would only be surprised how often I cried since I became an adult...” Devin said thinking back at how many times he had awoken from a nightmare while tears were running down his face.
Thearl shook his head slightly. "The older we are the softer we seem to become... I guess we men cry even more than women do. We just hide our tears better..."
"I think you are right." Devin said "and women should never know that we cry so much..."
"Yes...otherwise they'd never look to us for support or comfort..." Thearl said softly.
Devin nodded "Very true my friend, very true..."
"Alright...I think I won't keep you here any longer, Caelyn must be eager to come back home by now..."Thearl said softly.
"I think you are right, though I hate to leave you alone right now."
"I'll be alright...I need to find Rethe, so I won't be alone..."
"Are you sure?" Devin asked, he was really worried about his friend. He could read the pain in his eyes, feel the grieve that was taking Thearl. He wished he didn't have to leave.
Thearl nodded. He could not be as egoistic as to keep his friend with him, and to take Devin's time for rest. He could not be so egoistic... even if in his heart he knew he needed it very much. But his friend should sleep at night; he had enough problems on his own to be burdened with Thearl's problems and hurt feelings as well.
"I'll be back as soon as I can." I'll be at your place within 45 minutes... "
"But Devin...you don't have to..." Thearl said softly, his voice wavering slightly.
"Yes I do..."
"Thank you..." Thearl said softly, looking gratefully into Devin's eyes. He had no more strength left to argue with Devin.
"It's nothing Thearl...really."
"It is. You don't even know how much this means to me..." Thearl whispered.
"It's what friends are for." Devin said simply. "Take care Thearl, I really have to go now. I'll see you soon. “
"Thank you. I guess I'll see you then," Thearl answered, clapping his friend on his shoulder.
"Bye..." Devin said, and then he turned around and walked away in the direction of the Town Hall.
"Bye..." Thearl answered softly, still standing in the same spot. He needed just a moment to collect himself before he came back among people, and went to find Rethe.
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| Vanalosswen |
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| Ireth_elfmaiden |
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| AerhÃril |
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| Narbeleth |
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| eireen |
RE: Overcoming (scripted)
on: February 05, 2005 12:34
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((Co-written by Narbeleth and myself))
Rethe put her arm around Thearl's waist and rested her forehead against his chest. "You're tired," she commented.
"A little bit," Thearl said softly. "I guess just like everyone else."
"What's this meeting with Devin about?" Rethe asked. "I thought you would be going home with me." It was clear in her voice that she was disappointed.
"Oh, don't worry, little sister, I'll be going home with you. Devin and I are meeting at home," Thearl said softly.
"What for?" Rethe asked again.
"We just need to talk…so many things happened today…"
"Thearl...you will get some rest tonight, won't you?" Rethe asked, her expression one of worry.
"I will…or at least try to," Thearl said softly, and then began to lead his sister towards their house. They did not have to stay in one place to talk.
Rethe walked with Thearl, but kept her arm around his waist. She wanted to be close to him right then, and she was wishing that Devin was not coming, since most likely she would not be welcome in their conversation, and would have to go to bed. "You did good this evening," she said, even though she had said it once already.
"Do you really think so?" Thearl asked softly, looking at his sister. It was her opinion that mattered to him the most.
"Yes, especially when standing up to Dugan. I would have started yelling at him long before you showed irritation. You kept your cool, and you set a good example for the others. And I could tell Andy was proud of you, too."
"Well…you know I can mostly keep my emotions in check. And Dugan wasn't really aware of what he was doing. He had a lot of emotions that welled up inside of him after his wife's death, and he needed to let them out."
Rethe nodded, and then unconsciously hugged Thearl tighter, as if to keep him with her longer. She was feeling anxiety in the pit of her stomach and she didn't know why. But being with Thearl was always able to help soothe that kind of thing.
Thearl hugged Rethe tighter in return and it was in this way that they reached their home. Thearl knew he would not get much sleep that night, if any, but he knew his sister should. "So, are you going to bed now?"
Rethe sighed and looked hesitant. "I guess I must," she said regretfully.
"Must?" Thearl repeated, not really understanding what she meant.
Rethe just waved it away. As much as she wanted to have Thearl all to herself this evening, she knew she couldn't begrudge him his time with Devin. "Never mind," she said. "I'm just thinking out loud."
"I know you…you're not happy about something…" Thearl said softly.
Rethe sighed. It was impossible to keep secrets from him. "I just...was hoping we would have this evening to ourselves, that's all," she said softly, not looking up at him.
"Oh…" Thearl said softly. "I'm sorry," he apologized. Though right now, after spending all his day with Rethe, and everything that happened then, he needed to talk to someone about it. And this could not be Rethe; because she was the reason of most of his thoughts and pain he was feeling.
Rethe just nodded, swallowing past the lump in her throat. She clenched her teeth and glanced away as they stopped on the front steps of their home so Thearl could unlock the door.
Thearl opened the door and stepped aside so that Rethe could enter. Then he followed her inside. "Are you hungry?"
Rethe thought for a moment, and shook her head. "Not really," she said. When Thearl had his back turned to close the door, Rethe quickly wiped away a tear that left her eye against her will.
"So? Maybe something small?" Thearl asked.
Rethe just nodded, her mood failing rapidly. She couldn't really think about food, because that's not what she wanted. But she wouldn't say anything. Thearl needed to talk to his friend, and she would just have to accept that.
"Come, let's sit in the kitchen," Thearl sad softly. "We still have some time until Devin arrives, so we can talk while you eat."
Rethe nodded again and forced a smile, grateful for this small moment at least. She followed Thearl into the kitchen and plopped down at the table with a sigh, not bothering to look for anything to eat, letting Thearl do it if he wanted to...if not, then she really didn't care.
"What's wrong?" Thearl asked suddenly, now sure that something was wrong. His sister did not react to a few things she normally would.
Rethe shook her head and waved it off. "Thearl, really, I'm just being selfish is all. Don't worry about it."
"Please, just tell me," Thearl said softly, kneeling down in front of his sister and taking one of her hands in his. "Something's very wrong, and I can feel it."
Rethe shook her head. "No, it's nothing. And I already told you really. I'm just being self-centered. You should be able to talk with your friends."
"So this is all about me meeting with Devin?" Thearl asked.
Rethe nodded. "I told you it was nothing," she said. Though, inside it didn't feel like just nothing.
"It's not nothing…please…tell me, if there is something you wanted to talk about."
Rethe shook her head, biting back her tears, though the effort was obvious. "No...nothing like that. I just...want to be with you."
By now Thearl was feeling guilty that he was meeting Devin. It made his sister sad. But surely he could do that, could he not? He needed this meeting to heal some of the wounds Rethe had caused. "If you want to, I will go upstairs with you and stay by your side until you fall asleep, hm?"
Rethe looked up at him. "Would you?" she asked, feeling a bit of relief, but also feeling like a little child that needed to be tucked into bed.
"Of course, I offered," Thearl said softly. "So, do you want to eat something small?"
Rethe shook her head. "I'm not really hungry, Thearl. I'm just tired."
"All right, so let's get you upstairs, and into your bed," Thearl said, smiling slightly. How old was his little sister? Now she was allowing him to tuck her in, and tomorrow she would be trying to convince him she was an adult woman…interesting.
"Come up in a minute, I'd like to change first," Rethe said, standing up.
"Sure, just call me when you're ready. I'll leave a message for Devin," Thearl said.
Rethe nodded, then left the kitchen and went to her room. She changed into her nightgown, draping her dress over the back of the chair near her bed. Then she unbraided her long hair and let it fall around her shoulders. She quickly wiped a few tears from her eyes. What was wrong with her? Why was she so emotional today? She was never this emotional before.
Thearl prepared a small note for Devin, telling him to go to his room when he arrived and wait there for him a few minutes, and that he could eat some of the food that was there. Then he placed the note in an easily visible place, and unlocked the door. When he was ready with it, he went upstairs to his room, carrying some food he had saved for an occasion like this. He had not eaten anything but a small potato today, and he was hungry. Then he waited in his room, using the time to change from the clothes he had worn at the Council into his favourite old shirt and trousers.
Rethe sighed and wiped away a few more tears, then pulled back the covers of her bed and climbed underneath them, snuggling down. "Thearl, you can come in!" she called.
Thearl stood up, and was surprised to see how hard it was. He did not think he was this tired. He made his way to Rethe's room slowly, but finally reached it, and entered. He smiled slightly at his sister, seeing her waiting for him in her bed. "You know, this reminds me of the old times…" he said softly, smiling slightly.
Rethe smiled. "Only this time I won't ask you to tell me a story," she said, hoping there were no tears left on her face.
"That makes me feel disappointed," Thearl said, still smiling. "Was I really that bad a storyteller?"
Rethe giggled and shook her head. "No, you were a great storyteller," she said. "But you're tired. And your stories always ended up being rather long—exciting, but long."
"Oh…I see…then I'll tell you a story tomorrow…" Thearl said. "But now, will you finally tell me what is wrong? The real reason? I can see you've been crying…"
Rethe's smile faded and she quickly wiped her fingers across her eyes. She looked down at her blankets. "I don't know," she admitted. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel so emotional...so...I don't know...I feel almost like a lost child lately. Desiring the closeness of loved ones. But I don't know why. It's weird."
"Oh, my little, sweet sister," Thearl said, kissing her on her brow. I am always here for you," he said softly. "And I always will be. It's just that today, I'm feeling so exhausted that I need nothing but rest. I'll probably end up sleeping with Devin in my bed, so, wake me up in the morning if I don't show up, ok?"
Rethe nodded, and then her tears appeared in her eyes again, but she wiped at them furiously. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I'm being so selfish. I know you need rest. I shouldn't expect you to always be at my side. I'm sorry."
"It's alright, my little sister. I have always been at your side, and I always will be, as long as I have any strength left," Thearl said softly. "I promise you, we'll try to spend some more time together tomorrow, how does that sound?"
Rethe nodded. And as a couple more tears fell from her eyes she lifted her arms up towards Thearl, wishing to hug him tight.
Thearl smiled slightly, kissed his sister on her brow, and then just hugged her tightly. "Sleep well, my little sister…. Even though all those years passed, you haven't changed at all…"
Rethe laughed softly, holding onto Thearl tightly. And in that moment she couldn't help but agree with him. Right then she felt like a little girl again whose big brother was tucking her in. She had her face buried in his shoulder and she was holding him as tightly as she could, not wanting to let him go. Tears fell silently down her face, only to be absorbed into the fabric of his shirt.
"Shh…and now sleep, my little sister…sleep…close your eyes, and imagine something funny we did when we were younger…" he whispered softly.
Rethe did as he told her. She closed her eyes, and after a moment she began to chuckle slightly.
"I see it's helping," Thearl said, smiling slightly.
Rethe chuckled some more. "We got a pair of frogs and dressed them up as a bride and groom. Do you remember that?" she asked. "We were trying to give them a wedding, but the bride kept hopping away." Rethe chuckled again, wiping her eyes with one hand, while she still held onto Thearl.
Thearl chuckled. "I do," he said. "That was really funny…"
Rethe sighed, closing her eyes. "Those were the good times..." she said, her voice beginning to sound drowsy. Her grip on Thearl began to loosen a little bit.
But this was nothing compared to what Thearl was going through. He had not slept last night, and now his eyes were closing without any conscious thought on his part, his brain too tired to react.
After another moment, Rethe's head sank back on the pillow and her arms around Thearl loosened all the way as she fell asleep, a slight smile still on her face from the happy memory.
Thearl fell asleep as well, but just when he began to feel too comfortable, he realized what he was doing. "Oh no," he thought, struggling to get up. "Not yet…Devin is waiting…" Thearl remembered, and then left Rethe's room, after tucking her in carefully. He was so tired…
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| kellymulder |
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| kellymulder |
RE: Overcoming (scripted)
on: February 15, 2005 06:09
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(cowritten by me and eireen... sorry it took us so long )Devin walked the distance of his grandfather's house to Thearl’s house. He still referred to it as his grandfather's house; this house wasn't his home and it would never be as long as his grandfather lived there. It was cold outside, Devin could feel that the summer was ending, soon autumn would come... and after that the winter. It was something he did not wish to think about. He quickened his pace and a minute later he stood in front of Thearl's door... one of the few advantages of living with his grandfather, he thought grimly as he knocked on the door.
Nobody answered. 'Strange' Devin thought; 'Thearl had said he would be home....' He pushed the door softly and saw it was open and slipped inside. Thearl would be coming home sometime so he could wait inside... He really wanted to talk to his friend.
The house was deserted and Devin just decided to take a seat at the kitchen table when he found a note. It was addressed to him and it said that he should go upstairs and wait in Thearl's room, he would find some food there... It wouldn't take long before he would return.
Devin frowned as he climbed the stairs, he was wondering where Thearl was and what he should do with the food, he really wasn't hungry at the moment. Not very hungry at least... and he hated the fact that Thearl sacrificed his own food to make sure his friend would eat... that was just insane, and completely unnecessary.
Devin opened the door and sat himself down on Thearl's bed. There was a tray of food on the table but Devin ignored him. He didn't need his friend's food; however nice the gesture was. He pulled his legs under his body and waited patiently for Thearl to arrive.
Thearl appeared in his room just a few minutes later, looking extremely tired. In fact, so tired did he look that it seemed that he might collapse any second now. Falling asleep by Rethe had made him just drowsier, and showed him how tired he really was.
Devin jumped up immediately when he saw his friend's face. He grabbed his arm and guided him to the bed. "What happened Thearl? You look awful..." he said in a worried tone.
"I am just very tired," Thearl said softly, grateful for his friend's support. He did not know he was *this* tired.
"Eat something..."
"Yes, I intend to," Thearl said. "I haven't eaten anything today. Will you join me?" he asked softly, looking at Devin and hoping his friend would not feel offended by his offer.
"No I have eaten enough for today..." Devin said as he walked over to the tray and carried it over to the bed.
"No, you haven't, Devin. We'll eat supper together," Thearl said softly.
"You are the one who hasn't eaten all day..."
"Yes, but that is supper for two people..." Thearl said softly. He knew he had to insist, otherwise Devin would not eat anything.
"I am not hungry..." Devin answered slowly.
"Devin...please..." Thearl said quietly, taking a small piece of bread. He was hungry, but he wanted his friend to eat as well. Especially since he knew he would not be able to eat all of the food himself.
"I have eaten my supper already... I am not lying, you have seen that I ate... And I'm tired, I don't think I will be able to keep the food in once I ate it..."
"Devin...just take something small if you're not really hungry..." Thearl persisted.
Devin sighed and gave in. "Ok then, just one small loaf of bread..."
"Take one," Thearl answered, smiling slightly.
Devin sighed again and took the smallest piece of bread of the tray. He knew if he wouldn't eat something Thearl would continue nagging about it for the entire evening, and Devin was just too tired to endure that.
"I'm sorry I kept you waiting..." Thearl said softly after a moment had passed in silence while they were eating.
"I only just arrived, it's ok." Devin said, pulling up a smile.
"Oh then I'm glad...I had to stay with Rethe until she has fallen asleep..." Thearl said softly.
"Is there anything wrong with her?" Devin asked in a worried tone.
"No, not really...I think she calmed down after everything what happened..." Thearl said softly. "She just wanted me to stay with her is all."
Devin sighed relieved. "Good, I'm happy she's ok." He looked up at his friend. "And what about you Thearl, what has happened to you, what makes you this... sad and worried?"
"Don't you know?" Thearl said softly. He thought the answer to this question was very obvious, was it not? The day’s events, all the emotions, and the council to cap it all… Was it not enough to make him look as he was?
"I think I know..."
Thearl looked at his friend, guessing that Devin finally guessed what he meant. He did not really feel like explaining everything to him, he was just too tired for that.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Devin said, laying himself next to Thearl.
"I don't know..." Thearl said softly. "I'm just...you know, all the time I was forced to listen to Rethe's hurts, and words of disappointment. Her anger...like all of this was my fault and didn't hurt me, only her..." he explained. But he also felt something strange. Earlier, he had had this urge to talk to Devin, to tell him about his feelings. But right then, when he could finally talk to his friend, he did not feel like. He did not know if he was too tired for it…or just…just what? He did not know himself, he just did not feel such a great need to talk anymore.
"Ohw Thearl..." Devin said, putting his arm around his friend's shoulder. "I am sure she didn't mean it like that… she is just... shocked... I think."
“She is shocked, I know,” Thearl agreed. “But she also said how much it hurt her… and then, I felt like she was saying that it was all my fault, what happened. And that I shouldn’t have been hiding this…” he said, partly to Devin, and partly to himself. He just did not feel like Rethe appreciated all his sacrifices over the years…but then, they were sacrifices he himself had imposed on himself…no one asked him to do so…so maybe in the end Rethe was right?
"I don't think she can think very straight right now Thearl.... I know this must hurt a lot... but try not to think about it, however hard that may be..."
“I am trying,” Thearl said softly. “But these things keep reappearing in my head over and over again. And I just can’t help it, no matter how much I would like to stop thinking about it. It’s not easy, you know…”
"I know it's one of the hardest things to do... don't get me wrong…" He sighed as well "I am just trying to help you... in as many ways as possible."
“But this isn’t really helping…” Thearl said softy.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
Thearl was silent for a while. Earlier he felt more like talking, even crying. Now he felt weird. Maybe something was different than it had been some time earlier…Maybe he was more tired?
"Thearl?" Devin asked carefully. He was a little annoyed by the fact that his friend had asked him to come, but now that he was there Thearl seemed to reject all his help...
Thearl turned his head to look at his friend. “I just…you see…now that you are here… I mean, it had been different when we had talked there, in the street…” he said softly, trying to explain to Devin what he felt.
"Do you want me to leave?" Devin asked softly; his voice was without any reproach, it just sounded worried.
“Oh…so you want to leave now?” Thearl asked quietly, clearly hurt. He was trying to find the way of telling Devin what was wrong, and his friend was going to leave him? Probably too annoyed and tired with him?
"No... Of course not. Don't be silly, Thearl. I just thought that maybe you needed some time for your own. I am here for you Thearl..."
“No, I don’t want to stay here alone. I just need someone to be with, other than Rethe,” he said softly. And maybe this was what it all was about. Maybe he just needed to have someone with him, so that he would not feel so lonely right then?
"Then I will, naturally, stay with you," Devin said simply.
“Thank you, my friend,” Thearl said softly. He was silent for a moment, and then finally spoke up again. “And I don’t really know what to do with Bacall…” This was really troubling him. Maybe Devin could give him a good piece of advice.
"I can understand." Devin said "I suggest you should talk to him about it... but you had that in mind, hadn't you?"
“I don’t really know,” Thearl said softly. “When I saw him during the Council, I almost lost my control. I felt as if he was challenging me, laughing at me…”
"He wasn't," Devin said calmly. "He was just making his point… what he believes..."
“Yes, but still…he just came out there, as if to show that he did not really mind, or care about what happened. Or that he was even a little bit sorry for that matter.”
"Don't draw any conclusions before you have talked to him..."
“But then, if he cared, why didn’t he try to talk with me? Or even came closer and just said, ‘I’m sorry…’” Thearl said softly. “Just this much…”
"I can understand if he didn't want to talk to you in a crowded place like that. He would probably want to wait until he could speak with you privately. And besides, do you think you would have had enough with just I'm sorry?"
“I guess I wouldn’t,” Thearl agreed. “But then, I wouldn’t feel ignored at least.” He still could not forget the fresh betrayal, and the fact that Bacall had appeared at the Council, spoken up, and then just left, without even trying to approach him, and at least ask him for a meeting to explain everything…that hurt very much.
"Maybe he's scared to talk to you..." Devin said softy
“He should’ve thought about it before he betrayed me,” Thearl remarked bitterly.
"Yes he should..." Devin agreed, he too couldn't understand why Bacall would've done such a thing. He didn't know the man that well but what he'd heard from Thearl was that they'd been best friends as children...
“And I guess that’s what really hurts. He ignored me completely at the Council, not caring even to talk to me for a shortest of moments, to apologise…this isn’t right…he should be the one to come to me…”
"Maybe he will come to you in the morning... But I do not know Thearl... I don't understand it either..." Devin said with a little sigh.
“Well…this is…just…” Thearl began but did not finish as he had no idea what to say at all. “I just…I don’t know what to do when I meet him…this is…it’s the first time something like that has ever happened to me…” he said softly.
"I am sorry this had to happen to you Thearl...” Devin said softy
“So am I, my friend, but it still doesn’t change anything…anything at all…” Thearl said with a quiet sigh.
"No... and I wish I could help you somehow..." Devin said seriously.
“You’re already helping,” Thearl said softy. “You really are.” And this was true, just the fact alone that Devin was there, was really helping him. He just needed to know that there was someone for hi out there who would listen to him, and help him if need be.
"I wished I could do some more," Devin said quietly.
“Devin, you’re already doing enough, believe me,” Thearl said softly, smiling weakly. He did not know how to show Devin that he was helping him, and he hoped that his friend could see that for himself.
"Well… ok then," Devin said as he smiled back.
“Will you stay with me here?” Thearl asked quietly. “I mean for the night?”
"If you want me to, of course I will, my friend." Devin replied, he was very tired and craved for his own bed but right now his friend needed him. He would get his sleep back some other time. Devin managed to give Thearl a small smile "I will do everything for you."
“Well…if you want to, you could sleep here,” Thearl said as if reading Devin’s mind. He could see that his friend was tired. And so was he.
"Thanks..." Devin said slowly
“No, it’s me who should thank you,” Thearl said.
Devin said nothing and just smiled.
Thearl smiled back slightly, but could not stop a single sigh that escaped him. He was feeling tired, and he was hurt, though even the conversation with his friend was not really helping him as he had hoped it would …Were his wounds to deep? Or maybe he was just too confused?
“I…I don’t know,” Thearl said softly. “I guess I’m just so confused that I don’t really know what to say…”
'That's ok my friend... I can understand, I can't really think straight anymore as well."
“Can’t you?” Thearl asked, and smiled slightly despite himself.
"Nope... can't." Devin said too tired to say something more.
“And what about that girl, Caelyn…you failed to mention her…” Thearl remarked, wishing to change the subject of the conversation, not wishing to talk about himself anymore.
"Oh... yes that's true." Devin said softly. "I met her when I was helping Athele with bringing food rations to the farms today and to tell people from outside the town about the council meeting. She really wanted to come but she was not able to walk towards the town... it's too far for her sister. So I promised her to take her with me and to bring her back afterwards. That's all,” Devin said not telling Thearl about the fact that he spend two hours unconscious on her couch.
“Do you like her?” Thearl asked, watching his friend intently.
"What?" Devin looked up at his friend. 'No... where would you get that idea?" he said in a surprised tone.
“Well…I just have my eyes, and I can see….” Thearl said softly. He could notice how the maiden had behaved around Devin after the Council, and he could feel what it might have meant.
"Don't be silly..." Devin said. How could he ever fall in love with somebody else then Rethe... but of course, he couldn't tell Thearl about that.
“Well, maybe I’m silly, but if you don’t like her, I can tell she likes you…but anyway, it’s not my business so…” he paused, grinning slightly.
"She likes me?" Devin said even more surprised. "You're wrong... she just needed a ride to the Town Hall..."
“Oh of course…” Thearl said quietly. Thinking about Caelyn and Devin took his mind from his trouble and he was able to relax a little. For which he was glad…
"Yes indeed of course..." Devin said feeling a little irritated, why couldn't Thearl see that there was nothing going on?
Thearl could see Devin getting irritated. He smiled, and then could not help but think that his friend really had no idea about women, or at least it seemed so…in the end he had never mentioned being in love, or even liking any woman…
Devin saw Thearl smiling and became even more annoyed. "Why are you smiling?" he asked shortly.
”I’m sorry, I can’t help it…” Thearl said, looking apologetically at Devin. But still, he did not stop smiling, he could not stop…
"Yeah... I guess so," Devin said with a sigh, he didn't want to talk about it anymore.
“Devin…we’ve actually never talked about it…but is there a girl you really like?” Thearl asked, looking at his friend curiously.
"Once there was..." Devin said softly. "But not anymore." He hated to lie to his best friend but he just didn't know how to tell him. "I let her down... in a terrible way."
“What did you do?” Thearl asked surprised, before he had a chance to think what he was asking about, and that it might have not been the wisest thing to ask about. He could never imagine his friend hurting anyone…
"It was a long time ago." Devin said slowly... "I was just a kid... she lived in Rohan, on a range next to ours..." At that moment he couldn't speak anymore... the memories were too hard to bear, the fire, Eodwyn.... What he had done to her... he had been so selfish...
“Oh…I’m sorry…I shouldn’t’ve asked…” Thearl said softly, realizing how unwise it had been. It was the past, and he should not force Devin to remember about things he wanted to forget.
"No... it's ok... you couldn't know." Devin swallowed and then continued. "We were great friends, from young age... she was a fabulous girl. But after the fire, I ran away and I never spoke to her again. I just disappeared out of her life, without saying goodbye. I was such a coward, I should have stayed there, I could have married her... but instead I ran away..." Devin said bitterly.
“Oh…have you never wanted to come back? You could ask her to come here with you…” Thearl said quietly, and he could feel his heart aching for his friend.
"She hates me... and with right... I wouldn't dare to go back."
“But how do you know she hates you, Devin? She might still love you! Still miss you…” Thearl said, looking at his friend. To know that his friend might have wasted probably the biggest love of his life, and would give it up without the fight, made Thearl’s heart ache for his friend even more.
"I know her Thearl... And I hate myself for doing this to her; she hates me... there's no doubt about that."
“You will never know, Devin, until she tells you so…” Thearl said softly. “I know what I’m talking about so…”
"But then it doesn't matter... first of all I will never go back to Rohan, I don't want to go back." A tear slid down his cheek. "And I don't love her anymore, I was fifteen then... I have lost my love towards her. Besides, she is probably married right know," Devin was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even hear Thearl's last sentence.
Thearl sighed quietly. What else could he do if his friend would not listen to him anyway?
Devin wiped the tear away from his face. "Let's talk about something happier, shall we?"
“Sure…” Thearl answered. “What do you want to talk about?” he asked, not really sure what was there to talk about after everything that had happened on that day.
"I don't know... you can choose..." Devin said softy
“I don’t really think I have any idea,” Thearl answered. “Unless you want to tell me which woman coming from Esgaroth you like…”
"I am not in love Thearl." Devin said softly though his heart screamed the name 'Rethe' so loudly that he was afraid Thearl might hear it.
“Are you not?” Thearl asked suspiciously. The fact that his friend heard ‘love’ instead of ‘like’ led Thearl to a conclusion that his friend might not be entirely honest with him.
"No... are you?" Devin asked, desperate to change the subject.
“Eh…” Thearl turned his head, closing his eyes. He was not comfortable with that question.
Devin suddenly grinned. "I guess that means yes...”
“Maybe so,” Thearl said. “Good night, Devin.”
"Ahh... come on Thearl... tell me."
Thearl did not say anything and just wrapped himself up in a blanket. He did not feel like telling Devin about the girl he had been in love with for many years now…
"Do you not want to tell me?" Devin said a little bit disappointed.
“Well, you didn’t tell me,” Thearl answered.
"There is nothing I have to tell you about this topic." Devin said calmly.
“And it’s exactly the same way with me, Devin,” Thearl answered calmly. If his friend would not tell him about his secret, then why should he let him in on his own?
"Well I guess we have nothing to say to each other anymore," Devin said in the same calm tone as he turned away from Thearl and lied himself down on the bed.
“I guess so, good night, Devin,” Thearl said softly, and then turned his back on Devin, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep.
"Night..." Devin replied though he knew, he wouldn't get much sleep... he felt so guilty for lying to his best friend but at this moment he just couldn't tell him. Devin closed his eyes and tried to sleep but, though he was very tired, his thoughts kept him awake.
Thearl did not sleep either. He still had too many emotions welled up inside of him, and they would not give him any rest, even though his body was tired. He hoped that at least Devin would get some sleep. Finally he opened his eyes, got out of the bed, and then took another blanket and placed it over his friend.
Devin opened his eyes when he felt someone placing a blanket over his shoulders but he did not react... he just couldn't face Thearl at the moment though he felt really sorry he couldn't be a better friend for him.
Thearl then sat back on his place. He did not even feel like lying down again, maybe he should go and get himself some tea? That was definitely a thought. It seemed like this day was not over for him yet. He needed to think… And so, keeping a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, Thearl left his room and went to the kitchen to have another cup of tea, and to think.
Devin sighed and closed his eyes again, he felt so exhausted... so worn out. He just had to sleep. He turned around and sighed softly and then... he finally fell asleep.
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| eireen |
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| AerhÃril |
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| Ireth_elfmaiden |
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| eireen |
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| Narbeleth |
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| eireen |
RE: Overcoming (scripted)
on: February 22, 2005 07:30
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((Another post co-written by Narbeleth and I. Please, enjoy ))
Thearl had left the kitchen, and was on the way to his room, when he heard voices. They belonged to his little sister and to his father. They were talking about something. Normally, Thearl would just pass his father’s room without paying any attention to the conversation. He would never stoop himself to eavesdropping. But it was different this time. Once he had accidentally heard what they were talking about, he just could not leave…he could not…even though what he heard was breaking his heart…
***
Thearl slammed the door of the Mayor's house, promising himself never to return there again. And then he ran, not caring where his feet were taking him. It did not matter anymore, nothing mattered anymore. Not the stupid Blight, or Bacall...nothing mattered anymore. Thearl could feel his heart breaking into thousands of tiny pieces, and those pieces seemed to be piercing his entire being...they hurt, hurt so much. He had never felt so much pain before.
He did not even realize that he was in front of Andy's door until he almost bumped into it. His entire body was shaking as he hesitantly raised his hand to knock. Here he was, subconsciously choosing the only one person he trusted. He did not even think how it must have looked like—a full grown man, drowning in his tears, with sobs shaking his body...but he did not care at all. He did not care what people would say. And finally his hand knocked on the door, even though he still was not sure if it was the thing he should have done. But now it was done and there was no other choice but to wait...
A moment later the door opened and Andy appeared. But the older man's face suddenly took on a concerned expression when he saw the state Thearl was in. "Thearl! What happened? What's wrong?" He took Thearl by the shoulders, pulling him forward into the house.
But Thearl was not able to do much, or say much more than a few words he was repeating all over again. "It's all over, all over," he kept saying in a weak, broken voice, while tears kept streaming down his face. He had no more strength left, and finally just collapsed to the floor, unable to support himself any longer. Andy still had his hands on Thearl's shoulders, so when the young man went down Andy was able to keep him from hitting the floor too hard. Then he crouched down next to Thearl. By the way the man was acting Andy was sure someone had died...
"Thearl...what's wrong?" he said desperately. "Is anyone hurt? Did someone die?"
“Yes...I did...I did...” Thearl mumbled quietly.
"Alright..." Andy said, realizing a little bit what it might be about. "Come on, let's go into the parlor..." He stood and tried to get Thearl to come with him by putting his hands under his arms and lifting...though it was hard. Thearl was not a small man after all... "Come on, Thearl...help me a bit..."
Thearl obeyed, trying to get up, but his entire body was shaking, making it extremely hard for him to keep his balance, not to mention walking. Why could he not just lie there on the floor? Andy helped Thearl into the parlor and sat him down heavily on a couch. Then he sat next to him, putting a comforting arm around Thearl's shoulders. "When you're ready...tell me what happened..." he said softly.
Tears were streaming down Thearl's cheeks as he said in a faltering voice, “After all these years I have a home no more, and I have just lost my reason to live...I don't wish to live any longer, I'm hurt so much...all I've been doing over the years was wrong, I am wrong, it's all my fault, it's all my fault. Rethe is right, even my father is right...I don't...useless, good for nothing, unwanted...but why?“
Andy shook his head, not able to make any sense from Thearl's rambling. "Wait, slow down, Thearl. What are you talking about? What happened? What makes you say such horrible things?"
“Not horrible but true, they're all true, but I had been stupid hoping that they weren't...but they are, they all are...“
Andy grabbed Thearl by the shoulders and turned him to face him. He shook him gently, looking into his eyes. "Thearl, get a grip...what's true? I don't understand."
“Rethe knows, she knows...he betrayed me...” Thearl managed, shaking wildly. He was feeling so broken now. He could hear that Andy was trying to calm him down, but he could not force himself to calm, even a little bit.
"What do you mean she betrayed you?" Andy said. "She knows? You mean...she knows about your past? You never told her?" Andy was a little shocked by that news alone.
“He...he betrayed...not she...she didn't...or maybe...I don't know..." Thearl murmured softly. "But she knows...she knows now...never...never told..." he continued, though he was not able to concentrate on his words.
Andy sighed and shook his head. "So she found out...but surly, that is not enough by itself to cause all of this...What else happened?"
"One of my best friends...he betrayed me...he...he told her...about it...she was...angry...sweet Eru how stupid I was...how stupid..." the man said softly. He was slowly calming down, since his tears seemed to be spent, and now only silent sobs shook him. But his voice became bitter and pained, and deep pain was marring his face.
"Don't you think she had a good reason to be angry?" Andy asked softly.
“Maybe she did...maybe she did not...what does it matter now...I wanted only to protect her..." Thearl said quietly.
"And this is the reason you are so upset? Because she was angry that you didn't tell her the truth? Are you sure there's nothing else...?"
“I heard...I heard her speaking with that man about it today,“ Thearl said through his painfully clenched throat.
"Your friend is the man?" Andy asked, just getting more and more confused.
“No, I meant that sorry father of mine.” Thearl's voice was hard when he said that, but also deeply hurt.
"Okay...so she spoke with her father..." Andy said, prompting Thearl to continue until he had enough of the story.
“And she...I know...I could...found out...that I had been so stupid all this time...believing..." Thearl stopped because a pained sob escaped his throat. “I was so stupid all this time...”
"Thearl," Andy said evenly, though it pained him to see the young man in such a state. "I assume you came to me for help...but I can't help you unless I see what the problem is. You must speak it clearly to me."
“I...I don't know...why I came here,” Thearl admitted softly. "I guess I had nowhere else to go..."
Andy smiled slightly. "I'm glad you felt you could come to me, I really am. But now you must tell me what's wrong, and to try and tell it clearly so I am not left guessing...Thearl...I want to help you...but you need to help me too...alright?"
Thearl nodded, but found that it was so hard to collect his thoughts, to sort them in any logical way. “I...today I just found out...I found out that all my life I was believing in something which was not true...and I have been too stupid and too blinded by love to see this...the truth is, that I saw what I wanted to see and not what was really there...and therefore the blow I took today was the last one I could take. I cannot take it anymore, I'm spent..."
"What did you find out?" Andy asked softly.
“That Rethe... that I...I have sacrificed so much to shield her from the truth...and I did this because of my love for her...and she did not need it...she just doesn't care for me as much as I care for her..." Thearl said through his clenched throat, swallowing his tears.
Andy furrowed his eyebrows. "She did not need it? What do you mean?"
"I...I thought she would be...that if she found out, that she would be terribly hurt, and her relationship with her father could have been destroyed," the man said in a soft whisper, each single word leaving a fresh wound in what was left of his heart. “And my thinking, my care, was proved to be wrong today..."
"Oh..." Andy said, finally starting to understand. "She wasn't as hurt as you thought she would be? She does not think any less of her father, regardless of what he did?"
Thearl nodded. “But you know...that is not what hurt me so...in the end I didn't want their relationship to be destroyed, did I? But what hurt me beyond words is the way she acted..." he said softly, not bothering to try and control his tears.
"What did she do?" Andy asked.
“She...she just acted...normal...as if nothing happened...as if all...as if that all...was nothing important...I felt so terribly humiliated...so deeply hurt...right then I felt as if she never...cared for me...loved me...I felt as if she was just like him...and that hurt me much more than anything he could have ever done to me..." Thearl said it all in a very quiet voice, his fists were clenched as he was trying not to break down beyond any control.
"Have you talked to her about this, Thearl? Asked her if these suspicions of yours are true?" Andy asked. "Because I have a hard time believing that she doesn't love you, that she doesn't care..."
“No, I couldn't stand it any longer...and I don't want to talk to her about it. Because what she did spoke clearly about her intentions...I didn't want her to shout at him, or hit him, or hate him from now on...but after the way she behaved towards me...and what she said...it was unfair for her to behave the way she did towards him...but now I know what they believe to be true...that it's all my fault, that I'm the only one guilty here..."
"What did she do to you?" Andy asked, realizing there was still more to the story.
“I don't want to talk about it... but in a few words, she was just very angry at me for not telling her...she couldn't believe in that all...she was behaving just like a woman in anger would..." Thearl said quietly. "But it hurt me very much to see her so..."
"And she didn't behave that way with your father, is that right?" Andy asked.
Thearl just nodded.
Andy sighed and sat back in the couch, rubbing his hand across his face. "Thearl..." he hesitated. He had to find the right words, and at a time such as this the right words were the difference between life and death for this young man...Andy knew he couldn't just speak randomly. "I have seen you and your sister together...it is plain to see how much she loves you, Thearl. Do you think...do you think that you might be misinterpreting her mood? Misunderstanding her different behaviors? Because my experience with women shows that their moods can change suddenly and without apparent reason. I should know, I have a wife and two grown daughters..."
“If I misunderstood her behaviour, then you may call me a blind fool instead of a fool..." Thearl said quietly. This was no good, he was so tired of everything right now. “I...I guess...I was just very disappointed...by her actions...the way she behaved in the issue that is most painful to me...I didn't want her pity...or, I don't know...anything like that...I just sought understanding...that, that what had happened was and still is very painful to me...that it still hurts...but she doesn't seem to care about it....doesn't seem to understand..."
"Then perhaps you need to explain it to her, Thearl. She has been disconnected from it all these years, whereas it has really been your life and all you think about. Of course she can't understand it as well as you can. And perhaps that's why she behaved the way she did, because she really doesn't understand...but that doesn't mean she doesn't care. Thearl, I do not think you can group those two things together like you did. There is a big difference between caring and understanding. Because you can care for something and still not understand it. And likewise, you can understand something perfectly and still not care about it. But in this case, I think, Rethe cares a great deal...she just doesn't understand...and that is why her reactions weren't what you thought they would be. She just needs to understand. And you must help her to do that, Thearl...she is not going to do it on her own—she can't do it on her own..."
“I won't,” Thearl said softly, but firmly. “I won't beg for her understanding...if she feels all right talking about my past as if she would talk about the milk that had accidentally been spilt, then I'll let her have her way...I'm just too tired for that...this has been slowly killing me for all those years...and the last few days are worse than I could have ever thought any day could be...I just can't go on like that, I have no strength left...nothing...I'm just like an empty shell...there is no me any longer...I have died..."
Andy closed his eyes. "And you cannot tell that to Rethe? Those exact words? You can't tell her how you really feel? Thearl, she deserves to know...how else is she going to understand?"
“Will she ever understand? Will it change anything? I don't think so..." Thearl said quietly. "I have just realized I should look for my own life, away from her and from him...because that family is doing nothing but destroying me...I need to leave...or die here..."
"Thearl," Andy said earnestly, leaning forward and placing his hand firmly on the young man's shoulder. "Thearl, listen to me. What you need to do is get things right with your sister. Because if, like you said to me before, she is the only one in the world that matters, then you better do all you can to keep her close. Don't make the mistake of ignoring something so important as this. Don't repeat what happened between you and your father...don't let it drag on...Thearl, you love your sister. And I know she loves you! You can't just give that up...because love is worth all the pain and heartache...it's worth everything, Thearl. And love forgives...if only it is given a chance..."
Thearl did not say anything for a moment, he just could not. Tears were still streaming down his cheeks, and his throat was so clenched that it hurt. Part of him felt that what Andy was telling was right, but the other part told him that it was not fair that his real family was treating him so. First their father, now Rethe, they hurt him so terribly—so was it worth it to have a family like that? Was it not better to just let go? He loved Rethe so much, even though what he had seen hurt him very deep...could he leave her like that? Could he really do that? “I don't know...” Thearl finally managed to say in a whisper-like voice. “I...I just don't know what to do anymore...I'm so tired..." he admitted.
Andy nodded. "I understand," he said quietly. "Would you like it if I talked to Rethe? Maybe explain things to her. Perhaps if she knew already then it would be easier for you to talk to her yourself..."
Thearl looked at Andy, surprised. “Do you really mean it? Could you really do it?” he asked quietly. “I...I think I need to move out of that house, at least for a while...I must have a place where I can find some peace..."
"Of course I will do it," Andy said. "And you are welcome to stay here for a while if you need to..."
“You cannot even know how much I am grateful to you," Thearl said earnestly, looking at Andy. ”I just don't believe I could do that myself, not right now..." Then he added softly. "And I thank you for your kind offer, but I have already caused much trouble to you...my only friend is moving right now, and his old house will be empty, I believe he'll let me use it for some time..."
Andy nodded. "As you wish...but my door is always open if you change your mind..." He stopped and looked the young man in the eye. "And, Thearl...you are no trouble."
“Am I not?” Thearl said, shaking his head slightly. “I am nothing but trouble lately...I don't really know why everything has to be happening right now..."
"It was bound to happen sometime, Thearl. But it's alright. Everything will be alright. And no, you are no trouble. I am just glad you think me worthy of your trust...that means a lot to me."
“Does it?” Thearl asked in a very soft voice.
"Yes, it does. A man's trust is not easily gained. I feel honored that I have gained yours so quickly."
Thearl looked at Andy and said earnestly, “I have never met another man, other than Devin, that I could consider worthy of such trust. I'm glad I found you..."
Andy smiled, then changed the subject back to the matter at hand. "Now, I will talk to Rethe on one condition..."
“Yes?” Thearl asked, looking at Andy.
"That when I am done, you will come here and also talk to her."
“But when is it going to be?”
"Whenever you want...but the sooner the better. The longer you let this go the harder it will be to fix it."
Thearl thought for a moment. He knew that Andy was right. Besides, he needed to inform Rethe that he was moving out anyway. "I...I need to go and talk to Devin, then to Bacall...and then I can come back..." he said, looking at Andy.
Andy nodded. "Alright...I will go into town later and see if I can talk to Rethe." He stopped, and, on impulse, put his arms around Thearl in an embrace. "This will all work out, Thearl...it's all going to be alright."
Thearl was surprised at first by what Andy did, but then he embraced the man back. "Thank you, for what you did. Thank you..."
Andy smiled, then pulled away and looked at Thearl. "You know...I have no sons of my own, though I have always wanted one...I...it would honor me greatly if...if I could consider you as a son to me..." He glanced away quickly, as if suddenly realizing how that sounded, and thinking that Thearl would not appreciate that.
Thearl was very shocked at Andy's words. But then he smiled, and breathed in relief and then joy. He wanted that so much...slowly regaining his voice, he said softly. “I am very honoured...I had no real father, though I’ve longed for one...I would be so happy if I could think of you as a father..."
Andy looked up, his own face lit with a smile. He was so relieved. "I am glad," he said. Then he embraced Thearl again, this time with more force.
Thearl leaned into that embrace and for a moment he allowed himself to forget about everything that was troubling him. He had been dreaming of a moment like that one since before he could remember, and now it finally happened. “Thank you,” Thearl whispered softly.
Andy held the young man for a moment longer, then finally pulled away. He smiled and wiped away a single tear that had appeared in his eye. "Now...you can stay for as long as you like...don't feel in any kind of hurry to leave."
Thearl looked at Andy with gratitude. “Thank you, but I think I should talk to both Devin and Bacall as soon as I can. But I promise I will come back,“ he said.
Andy nodded and stood up. "Then I wish you luck," he said softly. "When do you think you will return?"
"I think I could be back in two or three hours..."
Andy nodded. "Perhaps I will try to talk to Rethe in that time. Would you like me to bring her back here so the two of you can talk?"
“That was the condition, wasn't it?” he answered in a question.
"Yes. But I just wanted to make sure you were alright with it, that's all."
"I think I am," Thearl answered, standing up.
"Good, I am glad," Andy said with a slight smile, then he walked Thearl to the door. "Think about what I said, Thearl. Think about the consequences of actions, and consider the lasting effects of running away from problems...Think about your love for Rethe, and what that means to you..."
“I will,” Thearl promised, and then, offering a slight smiled, he left the house. “Good bye.”
"Good bye," Andy said softly. Then he sighed as he watched Thearl walk away.
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| kellymulder |
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| Ireth_elfmaiden |
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| Narbeleth |
RE: Overcoming (scripted)
on: February 23, 2005 07:01
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((Co-written between me and Ireth ))
It was late morning, almost noon, and Rethe had been standing outside Bacall's door for several minutes, trying to build up enough courage to knock. She fingered the small clump of heather blossoms she held in her hand. She sighed, taking a deep breath, and finally knocked. It was all she could do to keep her feet from turning her around and running way.
Bacall had just returned from chopping wood out back, and with an armful of logs, refilled the wood crate beside the stove. As he stood upright, he brushed a stray lock of hair that had freed itself from the tie at his neck with the back of his hand and turned to the sound at the door. He was shocked to think of anyone visiting after the events of the past day, and cleaned his hands on a cloth at his waist as he headed for the door. Opening it, he was even more shocked to find Rethe there. He stiffened slightly and could not hide surprise in his voice. "Rethe? I didn't think to see you. Is everything alright?"
Rethe nodded, looking expectantly at him. "May I come in?" she asked, her voice quiet.
He was confused, but could not refuse such a friend. "Why...of course you may." He backed into the house, opening the door wider for her. As she entered, he waited for her to put to rest the questions in his mind as to why she had come this day.
Rethe entered the house and turned to face Bacall. As she thought about how to word what she wanted to say tears began to appear in her eyes. Finally, just deciding to plough ahead, she held out the heather toward him, letting her tears fall. "Bacall...I'm so sorry for how I treated you yesterday...you sure didn't deserve any of it. Will you forgive me?"
Rethe's actions surprised Bacall even more as he had not expected her to burst into tears just inside the door. He wordlessly accepted the offered flowers, searching for words. "Rethe..." he finally breathed, "of course. I can understand why you would want to know the truth behind any secrets being kept from you." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "What happened between you and Thearl after you left?" he asked hesitantly, knowing that his old friend would now be very angry with him.
Rethe looked up at Bacall through her tears, so very thankful that he had accepted her apology. And that made her feel so relived that her tears came harder, and she began to sob quietly, putting her face in her hands. She couldn't answer his question, not yet.
At a loss, Bacall could only pull Rethe into an embrace. "Oh, Rethe, please. It's alright. Come, sit down, it will be alright, Rethe." He led her into the parlor and sat her down on the couch, settling down next to her. He could do nothing else until her tears subsided.
Once she was sitting down Rethe began to wipe away her tears, making a huge effort to stop crying. Finally she glanced up at him and offered a slight smiled. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for understanding. I'm so sorry this had to happen. I'm so nosey, I should have just kept my big mouth shut and let you keep your secret. I am afraid it did more harm than good..."
Bacall sighed and ran his hands over his face and head. "I knew it would." He shook his head. It was over now, his friendship with Thearl would be shattered forever now, and there was nothing he could do about it. The thought pierced him deep, and he sat with head down and his hands clasped tightly in his lap. His urge to lash out was great, but he held himself in check. The last thing he needed to do was put a hole in the wall.
Rethe looked at Bacall and saw his distress. New tears formed in her eyes. "Bacall...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry..." it was all she could say, she was so ashamed and sorry that she could barely think about anything else. She wanted to say everything would be alright, but that wouldn't be the truth would it?
"No," Bacall bit back. "It's not your fault, Rethe." He rose from the couch and turned his attention back to the cleaning had started earlier, anything to divert his energy. "I should not have relented. It was my own fault that my friendship with Thearl is gone now. I knew when I spoke the words that he would never forgive me for saying them." He didn't know what else to say, but he would not allow Rethe to place the whole of the blame upon herself.
Rethe continued to cry, then let herself fall forward onto the couch, burying her face in the soft cushion. "I'm sorry I even persisted, Bacall," she said, her voice muffled. "Can you ever forgive me?"
Bacall's frustration emerged slightly, and he snapped slightly at Rethe. "Yes, I told you. What has happened has happened, and nothing can change it now. Now I would appreciate if you would stop that pointless sobbing." He regretted his words directly after he had said them, and exhaled loudly. Calming himself he looked at her. "Look, if there is nothing else, perhaps you should go now. I don't want to say something else I will live to regret and thus loose another friendship."
Rethe didn't move. She just lay there, forcing back her sobs, trying very had not to cry, even though the harsh words from Bacall had stung quite sharply. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to leave, not like this. She had come to try and fix things, to save their friendship. If she left now she would have accomplished nothing. But she didn't know what to say. His behavior was understandable, she knew that...but it still hurt. Could he not forgive her?
Silence hung between them for a while, no one moved. Bacall finally came back to Rethe and knelt beside the couch. He placed a hand over her's that rested on the couch. "Rethe, I do not want to loose you as a friend. I could not stand coming back after so long and forever losing both you and Thearl. One cannot be helped now, but the other still can. Know this, if I lost you now too, I would have lost the most important ones in my life outside of my family." He sighed. "I just have so many feelings in my mind right now, it is getting hard to deal with them all."
Rethe looked up at him, tears still falling silently from her eyes. "I don't want to lose you either, Bacall," she said softly. "That's why I came here today...to save our friendship. I need you to forgive me...I need to know you don't hate me for what I did. Because I sure don't hate you..."
"No, I don't hate you," he whispered. "I never could...never. I wish I could take back the events of yesterday, but I can't. But I will hold tightly to what I still have left." He gave a half smile and wiped away a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "Come on now, no more tears. There is no need for them."
Rethe wiped the rest of her tears away and sat up slightly. Then she threw her arms around Bacall's neck, so relieved. "I'll always be your friend, Bacall...nothing could chase me away from you, nothing."
Rethe's reaction caught Bacall off guard, and he almost fell back as she threw her arms around his neck. He laughed. "Well, glad to see you are over that so quickly. It's good to know I still have one friend here." He changed the topic. "What else have you planned for this day, Rethe? Other people to go visit? Or hunting perhaps?"
Rethe pulled away and looked at him, smiling slightly. "Don't you remember?" she asked. "I promised I would help you clean your house today. I don't intend to break that promise."
"Truly? That is right, I do recall that from yesterday." He rose to his feet and looked about in thought, "Well then..." he left for a moment and returned shortly with Anneis' apron in hand. Extending it to Rethe, he said, "Here, you can wear this. I would not want you to ruin your dress." After she took it, he looked around the room and tossed up his hands. "Where would you like to begin?" The house was not too bad, but Bacall was thankful for some help as he had been expecting to work all day to clean the house.
Rethe smiled as she tied on the apron. "I think I'll start with the kitchen. If it's anything like it was yesterday, it needs done very badly."
Bacall nodded. "And I will finish up in here. I am almost finished, and will join you in the kitchen shortly." He then turned his attention back to the parlor and the task he had been at in the first place, while Rethe headed to the kitchen. Shortly after, Bacall had finished and went into the kitchen to see how Rethe fared.
Rethe had her arms elbow deep in dishwater, but she was nearly finished. She turned around when she heard Bacall come into the kitchen. She smiled at him, not realizing she had a clump of suds on her cheek. "There you are," she said. "I was beginning to wonder if the dirt hadn't swallowed you up."
"Hey, give me some credit, it wasn't that bad now," he said, moving toward her. He scooped up a finger of suds and placed them on the opposite cheek. She gave him a strange look and he chuckled. "I'm only trying to even it out, Rethe," he jested, wiping his wet fingers on his dirty shirt. He clapped his hands together. "Alright, what now? I know I should do some washing. We are running out of clean clothes seeing as I have not had time to do that in over a week. But what else do you feel needs some attention?"
Rethe was busy wiping the suds off both cheeks, blushing slightly. "Well, I could do the laundry I guess. I'll let you scrub this floor...it looks like someone plucked and dressed a turkey in here and didn't clean up after themselves. What is this?"
Bacall chuckled. "Barius told me he wanted to cook dinner last night. I guess it's not difficult to see what we had? A couple of scrawny chickens." He shook his head. "My brother is not the best cook."
Rethe shook her head, trying to hide a smile. Then she became suddenly serious and she looked up at him. "Bacall, I didn't even ask how Anneis was today...oh, I feel awful, how could I forget her like that?"
Bacall's face turned grim. "Well, last night, when I returned home, she had a burning fever. Barius was so afraid, being alone. Thankfully, one of my medicines worked for that and got her fever down by this morning. She’s looking a little better, but is pretty much the same. I’m not even sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but at least she’s not getting much worse. And I have run out of ideas. I suppose I will just have to keep up with what I am doing and hope that she at least remains as she is now." He shrugged. "I will be back in a moment." He left Rethe and took a quick peek into Anneis' room where she slept soundly, just as he knew she would be. He then collected all the dirty clothes into a large bag and returned to the kitchen. "Are you sure you want to wash the clothes? Remember, we are three hard working men. Some of these clothes are quite the mess. You might be better off wanting to wash the floor instead."
Rethe laughed. "I am used to washing men's clothes, Bacall, I do not mind at all."
"Well, if you are sure." He offered over the bag. "I wash them in the trough out back. There is a pump back there. I think I will be done with the floor before you finish the clothes, so I will be out to help once I finish."
Rethe smiled and took the heavy bag. "Alright, I'm sure I'll be fine. I'll see you in a bit then." Rethe lugged the bag of laundry out of the house and to the trough. Then she began to get to work. It definitely was a lot of cloths, more than she had ever done at one time before, but she didn't mind. She was just glad she could help a friend.
After Rethe left, Bacall quickly took on the task of washing the floor. It took him longer to finish then he had first thought, but Rethe still had not appeared by the time he was done, and he headed out back to see how she was getting along with the clothes. Without a word, he joined her and began washing clothes himself. After a few minutes of silence, he felt compelled to ask, "Rethe, what do you think of Dwelian's claims to the elves being the cause of the Blight? Everything that happened last night?"
Rethe shrugged. "I don't know...I guess it makes some sense...I mean, who else could have caused the Blight if not the elves?" She sopped scrubbing a shirt and looked up at him. "What do you think?" she asked. She had of course heard everything he said the night before. But right now she was just trying to make conversation without treading on dangerous ground.
Bacall hesitated, Dwelian had put on a convincing performance last night, and it seemed his points had won sway with many. Bacall still didn't think they were the cause. He carefully thought about what he was going to say. "It all just doesn't make sense to me. I don't really see any motive. Anything is possible, but there are a lot of things that just don't seem to add up to me."
Rethe frowned. "Like what? I mean, sure, I can see that a motive is lacking...but how could we really know the reason behind it? How could we know what the elves would consider a motive? I mean, we may have done something to them that we aren't even aware of...they could be mad at us just for living in this land...it used to belong to them, you know..." Rethe didn't really have an opinion herself. She hadn't any time to think about it since the council. She was only repeating what made sense to her in that moment.
"Mmmmm," was the only reply Bacall offered. He did not feel it was a good idea to openly declare that he felt the claims were wrong, and that nothing would change his mind about that, after all he had no proof that the elves were not behind it beyond his own personal encounters with the race. He knew that going against the common belief was a danger to himself, and he did not wish to risk the concequences of those actions. All he knew was that few in the village had ever seen any elves, and thus were not familiar with their nature, and dark magic was not part of it.
"Mmmm, what?" Rethe asked, pausing again in her work. "You don't want to tell me what you think?"
"I'm just not fully sure of what I think, Rethe." Bacall lied, rising to hang some now clean shirts on the line to dry. The stress of the morning was getting to him and he pressed his hands to the sides of his head in hopes of reducing the pounding he felt there.
"Never mind, Bacall," Rethe said. "You don't have to tell me. I understand that if you disagree with the ideas, it can cause you trouble. I've already caused you enough trouble this week. And I have learned my lesson about sticking my nose where it doesn't belong."
Bacall simply inclined his head in response, almost regretting that he had raised the topic. The rest of the clothes were finished shortly with little conversation. After hanging the last articles on the line, Bacall sighed. "I believe that is about it then." He looked up at the sun, it was around noon now. He then remembered he was supposed to take food to his father and brother in the fields and he cursed under his breath. He turned to Rethe. "Thank you so much for your help. I would have been all day by myself. Forgive me, Rethe, but I have to take some food to fields now."
Rethe stood up and stretched her aching back. "Do you need any help?" she asked.
Bacall smiled. "No, Rethe, I can manage. You have done too much for me already today. I will just take the bit of meat we have and some bread and water, it's not much, but all we have until dinner rations." The two went back into the clean house and Bacall suddenly remembered, "Oh, Rethe, your pot. The one you brought the broth in, you left it." He brought it from the corner of the kitchen where he had placed it yesterday and handed it to her as she handed him the borrowed apron. "I want to thank you, Rethe, for all you did today. I will see you soon, alright?"
Rethe nodded, then embraced him warmly. "Thank you for letting me," she said softly. "May I return tomorrow to visit Anneis? I would like to visit her as often as I can."
Bacall's hands lingered on her shoulders. "Of course you may. You are welcome here any time. She would love to see you I'm sure." They made slowly toward the door. "Tomorrow then," Bacall smiled.
Rethe smiled also. "Tomorrow. I'll see you then." With that she walked down the steps of the porch and down the street, feeling much better than when she had first come there earlier.
Bacall closed the door behind her and looked around the now spotless house. In the midst of all his feelings, he most strongly felt relief now, knowing that at least all was well between him and Rethe. He moved to the table in the parlor where the flowers lay that she had brought. He took them into the kitchen and found a small vase to put them in. Setting the vase on the kitchen table, he grinned again as he set to gathering food to take to the fields.
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| AerhÃril |
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| eireen |
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| kellymulder |
RE: Overcoming (scripted)
on: March 24, 2005 11:19
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(written by eireen and me )
Devin had gone to his own fields immediately after he had left Thearl's house. He had been working there for probably an hour, watering and feeding the plants...
Thearl breathed in relief when he spotted his friend working in the fields. He had luck, he hoped that Devin would be there, he did not want to go look for him with his still tear stained face, and reddened eyes.
"Devin..." Thearl said softly, trying to appear as composed as he only could.
Devin looked up and Thearl and was shocked by what he saw... His friend seemed so lost and broken, he looked terrible. "Thearl, my friend... what has happened to you?"
“Hello Devin,” Thearl said softly. “Do you have a minute?” he asked, instead of answering the question.
"Sure..." Devin said with a worried look in his eyes as he wiped the dirt of his hands.
“Thanks,” Thearl said quietly, looking at his friend.
"Let's sit over there, shall we?" Devin said pointing at the end of the field where a lonely tree stood by the edge of the river.
“Alright, that suits me fine,” Thearl said, nodding. Suddenly he felt so worn out, that he could not imagine standing any longer, and was glad for Devin’s offer to sit.
A minute later the two of them sat themselves down under the tree. Devin folded his legs under his body and looked at Thearl "What did you want to talk about?" He asked on a soft tone, he was worried about his friend and curious to know what had happened to him.
“I…I wanted to ask you to do me a favour…” Thearl said quietly. The sooner he asked, the better, and there was really no point for him to beat around the bush with Devin.
"A favour?" Devin said a little bit surprised, he had not expected that… "Sure Thearl... go ahead..."
“I…I need somewhere to stay…for a couple of days, and your old house is empty…and so I thought…” Thearl began. Now that the words had finally been spoken, with some difficulty, he felt quite uncomfortable as if he had a mistake asking at all.
"Yes it is empty...." Devin said, he frowned "but why do you need a place to stay? What happened that you cannot stay at home...?"
“I just…I just cannot…” Thearl said quietly, trying to fight off his emotions, that threatened to spill again. He did not need to make a show for one more person, he should wait until he was alone.
"Well.. if you can't tell we will talk about it later." Devin said wrapping his arm around Thearl's shoulder "my old house is always open for you, as long as you need it..."
“I just…I just need some help, that’s all,” Thearl said quietly. He was relieved and grateful when he heard that Devin had agreed.
"I want to help you Thearl.. I only don't know how if you won't tell me what happened..."
“I’m…I heard…” Thearl said quietly. “I just…well…I have a small breakdown…” he explained as if it was no big deal, even if it was the worst one he had ever had in his life.
"I see that..." Devin said softly, though he thought ‘small’ was not actually the right word for what was happening with his friend right now.
“And so, I just need some peace…” he continued quietly. Because that was exactly what he needed. Some peace and someone who would sit with him and would not allow him to think.
"Are you sure you will make it by yourself Thearl, you seem so upset.."
“I hope so…my friend…I do…” Thearl said quietly, trying to calm down. He did not want to cry in front of his friend, that was simply impossible.
"I could stay with you if you wanted to..." Devin offered, he was really worried about his friend and he didn't like the idea of Thearl being alone in this state of mind.
“But I need to go to Bacall…and to Andy…” he said quietly, looking down at his hands so that Devin could not see his tears threatening to spill. Just what was wrong? He did not want to cry, did he? So why was he acting like that?
"So... are you trying to get things right with Bacall again?"
“I think so…” Thearl said quietly. “I don’t know…” How could he know what would happen when he would be faced with Bacall? What emotions would be stronger? What the man would say to his defense?
"Well.. promise me you won't be alone, ok?" Devin said
“I can’t…I will be alone later…” Thearl said. And that was true. He would be all alone, in Devin’s old house, thinking over and over about the events of the day…
"I will come by and visit you... I don't want you to be alone right now Thearl..."
“Would you? Really? Could you come in the evening?” Thearl asked, truly surprised, but also visibly glad for the possible visit, and there was hope clear in his voice and his eyes. This was exactly what he needed. Someone to be there with him to distract him from his thoughts.
Devin smiled "Sure I could, we could spend the night together in my old house... Drink beer like we used to do when we were younger."
“Oh…” Thearl said, looking up at his friend, and tears were clear in his eyes. He was so grateful. So happy that he could count on his best friend in such difficult times.
Devin embraced his friend without saying anything.
Thearl hugged his friend, resting his forehead against Devin’s shoulder. He needed that knowledge that someone was there for him. More than anything.
"It's ok Thearl....."
“It’s not…”Thearl said quietly. “How can it be?” he asked, his hurts clear in his voice.
"I know..." Devin said softly "but it will be... somehow, someday.."
“Are you sure?” Thearl asked quietly. How could it ever be? Especially if he lost his little sister…how could it ever be?
"Very sure... one day, life will go back to the way it was. And it will become better than that... that is what I have to believe."
“But it won’t go back…it will never be the same…” Thearl remarked. How would he be able to forget all the pain even if with Andy’s help he could have his sister back?
"No... I know, it won't; none of us will be the same. But this will make you stronger... somehow. But maybe it's a little too early to talk about that." Devin said as he stared over the water.
“I guess you’re right…I still need to calm down to talk to Rethe… though I don’t know how…” he admitted softly. He felt so helpless…
"Talk to Rethe?" Devin asked, he was very curious to know what happened to his friend… if it had something to do with Rethe…
“Yes, she’ll be waiting for me at Andy’s…” Thearl explained, not noticing Devin’s sudden interest when he mentioned his sister.
"Why, did you have a fight with her?"
“No, I didn’t…but…I…something she did hurt me terribly…” It was so hard to say this words, since the pain in his heart was so fresh… Actually, how would he be able to face Rethe when the time came? He could not imagine it, other than drowning in his own tears in front of her anyway.
"Are you feeling like talking about it, now?" Devin asked eyeing Thearl
Thearl just shook his head slightly. “Not yet…maybe in the evening, alright?” he said softly.
"Alright... I will be at my old home when you need me, ok? I have to look for some stuff..."
“Oh that’s great, so you’ll be there from now on?” Thearl asked. It would be perfect, since he did not know how much time it would take him to talk to Rethe and Bacall, and this way he would not have to be worried about coming too early and finding the house locked.
"Yes... until dinner, I have some work left here on the fields and then I will go to the house."
“Alright, so I think I’ll meet you there in a few hours if that were alright..." Thearl said softly, feeling like he should be going right then.
"Of course Thearl.."
“Thank you…” he said, and his gratitude was clear in his voice.
"No thanks, my friend." Devin said as he smiled slightly as a plan was already unfolding in his mind...
"Alright..." Thearl answered slowly, watching Devin a bit suspiciously. He could see his friend acting like he was up to something, in the end he knew Devin quite well…
Devin stopped smiling, determined not to let Thearl know anything of his plan.
"Are you alright?" Thearl asked after a moment of prolonged silence.
"Yes I am... I am just a bit tired." Devin answered
"Are you sure that I'm not imposing on you then? Maybe you should stay at home and take some rest?" Thearl said softly.
"No... not at all.. I could use a night with just a bit of drinking... To lighten my mind..."
"You want to get us drunk?" Thearl asked incredulously. Though this time, it did not really sound this bad…maybe even a bit inviting…
"I didn't say that." Devin said, suppressing a smile.
"But you meant that.. didn't you?" Thearl asked, nearly certain of what the answer would be.
"Well... if you would like it..."
"I'm not sure...but might actually do some good...” Thearl said, appearing to be slightly hesitant about it all.
"That's what I thought..." Devin said with a little smile.
Thearl just shook his head slightly. “You’ll never change…” he said softly.
Devin flushed a little "I guess not." But then he looked up at Thearl and smiled broadly, "I am actually quite looking forward to it. It will be just like in the old times... just you, me... and some beer."
“Yes, that’s true,” Thearl said. “I think I might’ve missed it…”
"We both missed a lot... we've become old my friend... we never make fun anymore. But I guess that has something to due with the circumstances as well..."
“I guess you’re right…” Thearl said softly. “Alright, I should be going now…though I’m looking forward to the evening together.” It was good to have something to look forward to, especially when facing so many difficult things to be done before.
Devin smiled. "So am I my friend... take care... and good luck."
“Thank you…I’ll really need it,’ Thearl said. So just wait for me later, alright?”
Devin stood up. "Sure I will... and Thearl.. I am sure everything will work out somehow...:"
“Thanks, you’re a real friend,” Thearl said softly.
"There is no need to thank me; now go.. the quicker you've talked to both to them the sooner things will be solved.”
“Thank you, and until later then,” Thearl said. “Bye.”
"Bye.." Devin said as he stood up and went back to work, thinking of the plan that had popped into his head; he was sure Thearl was going to like it.
Without another word, or looking back, Thearl left Devin’s fields, and began to walk towards Bacall’s house, bracing himself for the hard conversation that he knew would come.
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| Narbeleth |
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| eireen |
RE: Overcoming (scripted)
on: April 02, 2005 04:09
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((Now a little switch to Rivendell and Arthion leaving for Mirkwood. Enjoy ))
It was a very late evening in the valley of Imladris, and darkness was embracing the elven realm, lit up only by the gentle light of the stars, and the fading light of the waning moon. On the delicate breeze, the soft sounds of elven singing were drifting, bringing peaceful dreams to all the inhabitants of the valley who were soundly asleep, seeking for their rest in the paths of elven dreams. Everything seemed to be so peaceful and quiet right then, that one could easily forget about trouble and dangers of the outside world, drinking into the ethereal atmosphere of this place, and finding solace to whatever hurts and worries they carried in their hearts.
It might have seemed that all the elves were soundly asleep, though a small candlelight was to be seen in one of the windows, and in the darkness around it seemed to be shining as brightly as if it were a beacon. In its light, as well as the faint light of the stars, one could see an elf sitting on the window sill with his back against the wall. One of the elf’s legs was dangling freely outside of the window, while the other one was pulled up to his chest. The elf’s golden hair, usually braided to keep it from falling into his eyes, was now falling free around his shoulders and down his back, making the elf look very young and innocent. To a passer by, he could seem a very young and merry soul, an elf just waking up to the adult life and adventures of the world, from which he had been so far shielded in the blissful atmosphere of Imladris. But one could not reach a more erroneous conclusion, for this was Arthion, the son of Lord Golion, and as much as the description of being a young elf might have fitted him well, he was definitely not cheerful or shielded from the pain in Imladris, and his young spirit had been much harmed, and was still healing, if healed indeed it could ever be.
Arthion breathed in deeply the fresh air, as his gaze wandered idly around the familiar shapes in the valley. He knew all of them, he could describe every tree and thing that was out there, in the fortress of Imladris and in the woods around. He knew these places very well, he had grown up exploring their secrets and hidden paths. This was his home. Imladris was his real home, the one he knew and loved, and in his heart it was still more wonderful than Lorien with its unique beauty. And this home he was going to leave tomorrow at dawn, to head for Mirkwood, the dark and dangerous woods. Why was he going there? In his heart Arthion doubted he knew the answer. He was going there due to a few coincidents, but still he felt he wanted to go there. But then, the closer it was to the dawn, the more reluctant he was to leave. He had not mentioned this to anyone, but somewhere deep in his heart he could feel some kind of worry, uncertainty… as if he could feel some sort of threat waiting for him in the clouded future that was not to distant…
The elf closed his eyes for a moment, trying to banish the dark thoughts that had appeared in his mind. He forced himself to focus on the soft elven song, letting it embrace his heart and fill it with ethereal calmness it was bringing. Soon he could feel the song’s magic working, it was like rays of the bright sun falling straight into his heart, enslaved by darkness. But no darkness could endure such a bright light, could it? He knew it could not…
Arthion breathed softly in relief, when he felt his heart losing its burden. For the time being he was free of his worries, though they never disappeared, pushed into the furthest corner of his mind. The elf looked up, and gazed at the starlit sky. He sought out Eärendil, the Star of High Hope as the elves used to call it. But for him, this star had a far greater meaning. It was this start that had guided him through the darkest of his hours and back into the life. In Eärendil he had placed all his hopes, and he knew that as long as this star would shine, he would live, never giving up on his hope and life, even if the situation seemed hopeless and fight useless…
Without any conscious thought, Arthion began to sing softly what his heart was feeling. It always helped him to express his feelings when he sang about them, even if very softly and only to himself.
“Eärendil, the star of High Hope,
The Star of Last Hope I name you,
For your light is the only thing
That keeps my spirit free.
In the darkness I was lost,
Bound to die of grief.
But your light came,
And set me free.
Now I turn my eyes on you,
The brightest of all the stars,
Envelop me in your light…
Fill me in with hope
When doubt appears in my heart.
Don’t let me go of life,
As long as there is a chance for me
To live in peace…
May your light guide me
Through the darkness of the world.
I will stay true to you,
Eärendil, the Star of High Hope,
The star of Last Hope to me…”
Arthion let the last tune of the song hang in the air while he was taking in the atmosphere it created. It was a healing song, he decided, able to soothe the hurts he had in his heart.
“Thank you, Eärendil,” Arthion whispered gratefully, looking up at the star, and then smiled slightly. Now that he was feeling a little calmer, he could not hide the excitement he had in his heart. He was going out into the wilderness again! On his own! How had his heart lingered for that freedom for a long time already… And now it was coming true, tomorrow at dawn he would be able to leave the safe boundaries of Imladris to go to Mirkwood.
He was happy, because that meant that he would be able to meet all his friends, and to stay with Aerhíril. And that brought to him also a thought about another person he would be able to meet there. Raniean, the proud Captain of Mirkwood Royal Family Guard…His gwador... Arthion smiled slightly when he started to think about his gwador. He could still remember how they had met and become friends almost instantly, only to realise soon after that the bonds that bound them were that of brothers. And he could still remember that Ran had promised to show him all the most beautiful places in his homeland, and Arthion was really looking forward to seeing them. He had never had an opportunity to explore Mirkwood, since it was too dangerous for an elf that was foreign to that land to do so; in fact it was even dangerous for the elves native to Mirkwood. But he also knew that he would be safe in Raniean’s company, after the adventure they had had together here in Imladris, and him being wounded and well taken-care of by Ran, Arthion trusted the Mirkwood elf with his life. And he was also extremely glad that he would be able to spend some more time with his gwador, maybe even stay at his place...
Arthion was so lost in his thoughts that he did not hear the door of his bedroom open softly, and then another elf entering the room. This elf was wearing the long flowing robes of the court in the deep violet colour, with some blue additions. His hair was dark, so unlike the golden strands of the younger elf. His expression was serious, and his eyes were betraying that this elf was ancient and had seen many things, and the light of wisdom residing in their depths only confirmed his high position. This elf was Lord Golion, highly respected elf in Imladris, and a friend and advisor to Lord Elrond.
The older elf made his way through the bedroom, looking around, since he wanted to find his son, who at that time should have long been sound asleep, but as the empty bed told him, was still not. It might seem weird that the old elf would go into his son’s bedroom in the middle of the night, but this was what Lord Golion always did. Every night, after finishing his work, he would go to Arthion’s bedroom to tuck the young elf in, if only to check if his sleep was not troubled by nightmares of the past events. And yes, he knew full well he was overprotective, but honestly, he did not care. Not after he had almost lost his only child to darkness and despair, not after watching Arthion nearly die of grief. He had waited for this elfling to be born for a little over three thousand years, he had every right to act like he did, he thought.
Finally, the elf Lord’s eyes rested on the window sill, one of Arthion’s favourite places in his room, or every room for that matter, and it was there where he finally found his son. Lord Golion headed in that direction soundlessly, and when he finally approached the elf, he placed his hand gently to his shoulder, standing behind his son.
“Why aren’t you asleep yet, ion nín?” the elf Lord asked softly.
Arthion was startled slightly when he felt someone touching him, but then he looked up and smiled slightly when he saw his ada standing beside him.
“I could not sleep, ada…” the younger elf admitted.
“Were you troubled by your nightmares? Or quite the contrary, excited by the prospect of your journey?” the elf lord asked softly, sitting beside his son, and pulling the younger elf into his embrace.
“I guess it was a mixture of both,” the younger elf said softly, relaxing in his ada’s arms. He was surprised, however, to feel his father running his hand through his hair. His ada had not done that for ages…
The older elf noticed his son’s surprise, and smiled slightly, kissing the elf on his brow. “Ion nín, do not begrudge this little joy to your father,” he said softly. “In the end, you will be gone for a few years, and I shall miss you greatly…”
A small shadow appeared on Arthion’s face. This was the worst part about him leaving. He did not want to make his parents sad, though he knew that it was unavoidable. Either this, or he would have to stay in Imladris until his parents would decide that it was time for the entire family to sail into the West. And he really wanted to see some world before that happened, he wanted to see it before he would have to leave it.
“Ada…I’ll be back in a few years, it’s really not a very long visit…” the younger elf said softly, looking up into his adar’s eyes. “And besides, you could come and visit me there, in Mirkwood, could you not?” Arthion asked hopefully. “You could come and visit us, I'm sure Ran would also be happy to see you again...”
“Of course I will come and visit you, Arthion,” the elf Lord said softly. “I could not bear to be parted with you for so long, ion, and my heart also misses my second child. I'd like to see how is he... Maybe I will come for a visit, and maybe stay for some time in Mirkwood myself,” the older elf said.
“Are you really considering this?” Arthion asked surprised. He thought his adar would never leave Rivendell, unless something very important forced him to do so.
Lord Golion smiled slightly, noticing his son’s surprise. “Yes, I’m really thinking about it, Arthion. In fact, so is Aerhíril’s father… I think both of us might come for a visit to Mirkwood, and then stay there for a while, maybe at the court as the representatives of Imladris…I still haven’t made any plans, but I have some ideas…” the elf lord said softly.
Arthion was quiet for a while, feeling too surprised to say anything. He was glad that his ada would come to visit him and Raniean in Mirkwood, but if he really stayed longer, then would he try and do everything so that he and Aerhíril become a couple? Arthion was slowly getting tired of that…
“Aren’t you happy about it, Arthion?” the elf Lord enquired, noticing that his son was rather very quiet. And he also did not miss the fact that he did not show any excitement or happiness about the prospect of his father staying longer in Mirkwood.
“No, of course I’m happy, ada,” Arthion said quietly. And he was really happy about it, he just had small worries that were making him react that way. “I just never thought you would leave Imladris…” the young elf remarked.
“Oh Arthion,” Lord Golion laughed softly. “Of course I would, silly one. Before you were born, I had travelled to many places, I am not bound to stay in Imladris all the time. And I think I could use a small change, especially if that means that I will be able to be close to you, my child, and to your brother.”
“Then I’m truly glad, ada, that you’ll be able to come,” Arthion said, smiling.
“I’m glad to hear that,” the elf lord answered, and then watched his son for a moment, in quite comfortable silence that fell. But finally, he decided to interrupt it, since he wanted to talk to Arthion for a moment, and it was getting very late, and his son should be able to get at least a little rest before he left for Mirkwood.
“Arthion, ion nín,” the older elf said softly, looking at the younger one. “How do you feel about going into the wilderness again?” he asked softly.
Arthion sighed quietly. His father always knew what question to ask to touch the problem. He seemed to be able to read his thoughts and sense his feelings, especially fears and doubts.
“You can tell me, Arthion…” the older elf said softly. “I know that you are afraid, I know that you have some doubts. You can be honest with me, and I’ll try to help you as best as I can…”
“Ada…” Arthion said softly, looking up at the older elf. He knew that his father would understand him, there was no other person in that world who knew him as well as his father did. He had no secrets from the older elf.
“It's just that...I'm a little afraid to go to Mirkwood on my own...” Arthion admitted softly. “I might've asked Ran if he had some time, and we could go together...”
Lord Golion looked at Arthion. “Ion nin, if you want to, then I'll send a message to your gwador and ask if he could come...” he began softly, but was interrupted by the younger elf.
“Ada, no,” Arthion said softly. “This is something I'd like very much, and it's so tempting... but I can't agree to this. I must learn to overcome my fear...”
Lord Golion did not say anything to this, instead he just pulled his son closer, so that the younger elf rested in his arms.
“But you know, ada, I still remember how you told me that inside I'm still strong and that what happened to me made me even stronger. And I think that it's true,” he said. “And I believe I have enough courage to face my fears, even if I'm afraid to take the plunge right now...”
Lord Golion smiled, and then kissed his son on the golden head. “You make me so proud, Arthion,” the older elf whispered. “And I love you so much...” he added, overwhelmed by his feelings. “But no, ion, it's well past bed time for the elflings, so...” he said, and then gently pulled his son to his feet, then guided over to the bed, and tucked the younger elf in. “Sleep well, ion nin,” he whispered and then rested his hand over his son's eyes.
Arthion smiled slightly and then allowed his body to relax. Whenever his father did that, and stayed with him when he went to sleep, he never was troubled by his nightmares.
“Sleep well, ion nin,” the older elf repeated after a moment as he withdrew his hand only to notice that his son was sound asleep. Then he placed one more kiss to his son's brow and crept out of the room noiselessly.
*****
The sky was still grey when a lone dark haired elf was gazing into the distance. He had been standing like this for a few hours already, staring into the place where he had last seen his son. Hard was this parting for the old elf, but great was also his hope that everything would be alright, and he was sure that Raniean would take good care of his gwador. That was why he had sent the letter that by know should have reached the borders of Mirkwood, and the hands of his older son.
“No i Melain na le, ion nin,*” Lord Golion whispered softly. “Sílo Anor bo men lín...**”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* May the Valar be with you.
** May the sun shine on your road.
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| AerhÃril |
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| kellymulder |
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| Ireth_elfmaiden |
RE: Overcoming (scripted)
on: April 03, 2005 09:38
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(Copost by myself and eireen)
Thearl walked for some time totally lost in his thoughts, and was very surprised to see that he was almost in front of Bacall's house now. He had been too busy thinking about what Andy had said, and trying to calm himself down at least a little bit to notice how fast he went. “Alright, Thearl,” he muttered under his breath. “Just stay strong and in control. Stay strong...” he reminded himself as he began to walk straight to the door.
And so, finally he was there, right in front of Bacall's door. A few deep breaths helped him to calm down almost entirely, though his tear-stained face and reddened eyes betrayed his emotional condition anyway. But Thearl decided that it was right then or never. He had to face Bacall right then, and he had to explain and finish all the things connected with his past on that day, in one way or another. And so, with a heavy sigh he knocked at the door, and then waited for someone to open it.
Bacall had just come from delivering food to his family in the fields. After a quick check on his slumbering sister, he was surprised at the knock on the door. He went to see who was there now and was quite taken aback when he saw Thearl there in a somewhat distressed condition. "Thearl? Are you alright?" he asked, not trying to hide the questioning tone in his voice. A look from the man caused him to step back and open the door further to admit him inside.
“And how do you think, my friend? Thearl asked quietly, entering the house. He doubted he looked like he was alright.
Bacall was at a loss, especially at the word 'friend'. After the events of yesterday, Bacall had thought he would never again hear Thearl call him that again. He had been expecting Thearl to come sooner or later, but not in this state. Bacall gestured to the parlor, "Please, come in and sit. Talk to me. What seems to have you so troubled?" he asked with genuine concern.
“Oh, now you don't know? You don't remember?” Thearl asked quietly, trying to keep himself focused on what he had earlier decided. It was not a very easy thing, however, since the way Bacall acted was really annoying him. How could Bacall pretend he had no idea why he had come and what was wrong?
"If this is about yesterday with Rethe, I can explain." he started, "But I know you, there is more on your mind then that. What is it you wish to speak about?"
“If there's more on my mind than this, it's no longer your problem. But everything...everything happened because of you... you told Rethe about everything,” Thearl said quietly. “I'd expect everyone else to betray me, but not you. I trusted you, and after all these years...how could you, Bacall? How?” Thearl asked bitterly, forming fists that were a sign of helplessness. He just needed to ask this question and hear the answer to it.
Bacall sighed, he knew there was no way to make up for what he had done, but he would try none the less. "Thearl, it wasn't what I wanted to do. If you don't believe anything else, believe that I never wanted to hurt you." he began speaking faster, "It was just that Rethe kept insisting on knowing if I was hiding a secret from her about you. She wouldn't let me be. I begged her not to make me tell her, what was I to do?"
“But you did tell her...how could you? Couldn't you send her back to me if it was so inevitable? Couldn't you?” Thearl asked quietly. The bitter sense of betrayal and pain in his heart suddenly became stronger, as if strengthened by the conversation he was having.
"I tried to." Bacall stated calmly, "I told her that if she wanted to know then she should speak to you. I told her that I should not be the one to tell her anything, I begged her to go to you, but she refused. Nothing I said would change her mind. Please Thearl, you have to believe me. I would never want to do something to hurt you so."
“So, couldn't you just bring her to me? Or even tell her to leave?” Thearl asked quietly. “I'm sorry but it's not possible to make someone speak unless they decide to do so...isn't it so?” he asked.
"She was in hysterics, I was not about to let her go anywhere until she had calmed down. I didn't know what to do." Bacall sighed, "I wish with all my being that I was able to take back what happened, but I can't. And I am honestly not looking for forgiveness because the injury I have done you is beyond such. I don't know what else I can say."
“Then why didn't you at least act like a man? Why didn't you come to face me? Why is it I who has to seek you out? Why did you ignore me during yesterday's council and before? And even after? Why were you hiding? And when finally were you going to come to see me? Or maybe you were just waiting for me to come find you?” Thearl said in a fast stream of bitter words. It was plain that the entire thing hurt him terribly, and he was trying really hard to keep his emotions in check, but the tears welling up in his eyes made it clear that it was too hard. “Why?”
"I would have come to you to speak about this, but I thought that with all that would happen between you and your sister, I would give some time for that to be settled before you had to deal with another. I know you have been troubled lately, and I can't imagine the many sleepless nights you must have had worrying over all that has happened around here. I didn't want to add to it right away." Bacall could see the upset state that Thearl was in, and chose his words carefully, "As for the council, I hid because I didn't want your thoughts or Rethe's to be on things other then the council and the important issues there."
“Do you honestly think I was able to focus on the Council? I felt like I was going mad right then. And all I wanted was just a simple explanation. A small apology. Anything, but constant ignoring me. And ignore me you did!” Thearl said quietly. He was dangerously close to losing his control, but could not help it.
"I am sorry. I did not know that it would bother you so. It was not my intention, and had I known I would have surely spoken with you then."
“You didn't know it would bother me so? Can you hear yourself?” Thearl asked for a second losing his control. “You shattered my whole life into pieces and had no clue it would bother me?” Tears were streaming by now down his cheeks, but Thearl was too upset to actually wipe them away right then. Bacall's words hurt, since they showed clearly how little his friend actually cared for him.
Bacall didn't know what to say, nothing he could say would even come close to undoing the wrong he had done and he knew that. He also could see that Thearl had much more on his mind then this one issue, many troubles that were weighing heavily on his mind and making him very upset. Bacall made to speak again, but snapped his mouth shut, what could he say? There was nothing, nothing at all. He lowered his head, not being able to look at Thearl in such a state, it was not like him at all, and it hurt Bacall to see him so.
Thearl was trying hard to collect himself, but for a moment there he had just no idea how to accomplish that. All he was able to do was to try and stop his sobs from becoming audible, though they shook his body violently, and finally Thearl was no longer able to support himself. He just collapsed to the floor, feeling totally spent. So many tears...he had never thought he had so many tears left...
Bacall rose and moved toward the man before him, "Thearl, what else is it? There is more to your sorrow, I can tell. You need to rest and take your mind from these things. You will hurt yourself if you continue as you currently are." He knelt beside him wanting desperately to be a comfort to the troubled mind, but he knew that Thearl would not allow such. All he could do was extend a hand down, "Come, let me help you to the couch."
It took a moment before Thearl finally looked up at Bacall. “I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I didn't...mean to do that...” he said quietly through his sobs. How could he show his weakness so openly again? He was being pathetic...
"It's alright Thearl." He pulled him from the ground and led him over to the couch helping him settle there. "Just rest a while. Calm yourself."
Thearl nodded slightly, and tried to calm himself as best as he could, taking slow deep breaths. But inside he felt so helpless, and so lost. He had failed even himself...he had hoped he was strong enough to talk to Bacall and then leave, but it was clear that he was not in the end. What a shame...
Bacall took leave of the room for a short time and returned with a cup of water and a small chalace that was nearly empty, but had a small amount of golden liquid in the bottom. Bacall poured the ale into two glasses, offering one to Thearl and intending the other for himself, "Drink this, it will help calm your nerves." Bacall directed, knowing that Thearl would only accept so much help from the one who had betrayed his trust just the day before. But Bacall didn't care, and he intended to do all that Thearl would allow him to do.
Thearl looked up when he heard Bacall's voice, and he was considerably calmer right then. “What is it?” he asked absently as he took the glass Bacall handed to him. With his other hand he wiped his tears away from his face, feeling even worse for losing his control like that.
"It's ale, what bit we still have left. Drink it." Bacall then waited a while, saying no more, but watching Thearl making sure that he calmed himself before anything more was spoken about.
Thearl drank obediently, not being able to stop himself from noticing that the two of his friends were thinking the best way of overcoming his pain would be to drink or to get drunk...
Bacall looked in his glass, swirling the liquid about but not caring if he drank it or not. Finally he looked back to Thearl, "What now?" he inquired calmly.
“A good question...” Thearl said quietly, finally looking at Bacall. “What do you think? What do you expect?” he asked.
"I don't expect forgiveness now, if ever. I know full well my wrong does not deserve it. But I hope that you will believe me when I tell you I am deeply sorry and I do wish I could have avoided this. I never wanted to hurt you." Bacall spoke honestly. "Beyond that, I do not know."
”If I hadn't spoken to Andy this morning, and I would've come to you instead, we'd probably no longer be friends, and I highly doubt if we'd be in shape we're now in...so...you can thank Andy, since it's he who saved you from my wrath...” Thearl said quietly, smiling slightly as the image of the possible outcome of the fight that might have taken place appeared in front of his eyes.
Bacall allowed himself a small grin at this comment. And for the first time, he had hope that maybe all was not to be forever lost between him and Thearl, though it would, no doubt, take a long time to mend.
Thearl, seeing that Bacall was not going to say anything, just continued. “My first reaction when I found out what you did, was to end our friendship, and maybe to take some more hostile actions...but something what Andy said helped me to change my mind. He said that I should think about the consequences of my actions. And I did. I've lost my family, but I still have a chance of saving our friendship at least...” Thearl said quietly. And when he actually said those words, they made him feel a bit better. He could feel it was the right thing to do.
"I would have felt the same way in your place. I would not have put anything beyond you, you had all the right. And I hope that I may one day regain even a shred of the trust you had in me before, though I don't deserve such. If you need to talk Thearl, I will be here. All is not lost, and it will all work itself out in the end. Have faith in that if you have nothing else." Bacall felt sorrow for Thearl's current state, and wished there was more he could do, but all that could be done was keep hope that all would be well by the end.
Thearl nodded. “I...I'm afraid to even hope that there's still a chance of not losing Rethe as my sister...though some things will never be the same for sure...” he said softly. “And I moved out of the house too...”
"You will never loose Rethe, never. She loves you Thearl, never doubt that, ever. And sure, things will not be the same, but that doesn't mean they can't still be." Bacall sighed realizing now just how bad things seemed to be for Thearl. He ran his hand through his hair, "Where will you go now? Where will you live?" he asked in a quiet voice.
“Devin moved into the town, and so I can stay at his old house for a while,” Thearl said quietly. “And as to Rethe...I'm not sure of anything anymore... not after what I heard this morning...” he added.
Bacall looked questioningly at him, urging him wordlessly to continue if he so wished, and Bacall could tell that he did deep down. So he would not do anything to hinder what Thearl needed to speak in the open to someone.
“I...it's just...she blames me for everything what happened in the past...she didn't think he did anything wrong...she's not even angry with him...but she's angry with me. I spent all the day yesterday comforting her and her hurts, but not even once did she stop and think how much it all must have been hurting me...and today she went to talk to him about it. And she was so nice, and calm...I didn't want her to hate him, no...but it's so unfair that she should take out everything on me, and go and talk calmly to him. What have I done to deserve this? I've been suffering all my life because of what happened to me in my childhood...and even now it hurts so terribly...”
"It cannot be that she blames you. She was hurt yesterday by realizing that in your closeness there was still some things she did not know. She felt betrayed just as you did by me. That could be what she blames you for, but not for what happened in the past. It was something that happened and should not have. Maybe we are all to blame, maybe none of us are. Speak to her Thearl, it cannot be as you believe it to be. She loves you, she always have and always will. You just need to allow time for the shock and hurt of the reveal to heal. You will not loose her; and maybe you could even use this to start patching some things up with your father. I'm sure he cares for you too. We are all under a lot of stress right now, emotions are high for everyone, but love does not ever fade, especially the love among family."
“He never loved me,” Thearl said quietly. “And as to Rethe, I'm just on my way to talk to her. Which reminds me I should be going...” he added.
"Are you sure you are in a state to speak to her now?" Bacall asked gently. He would not push the comment about father love. "I will always be here if you should need to speak. Don't suffer alone Thearl. It is the unspoken pain that weighs heaviest on the heart."
“I...I'm trying to hold my grip on my emotions...but I'm failing as yo can see...after talking to Rethe, I'm going to get drunk...I'm in no state to attend the Council tonight...” Thearl said quietly, finally remembering the thing he wanted to talk to Bacall before he left.
"Thearl.." Bacall sighed, "just...do be careful." He could not tell Thearl what to do, he would do what he wished regardless, all he could do was show his concern.
Thearl smiled slightly. “Don't worry, Devin expressed his wish of getting us both drunk, so I won't be alone...but what I wanted to ask you about...will you go to the Council tonight?” he asked quietly.
"I was planning on it." Bacall told him, "It all depends on how Anneis is this evening. If I can leave her under my brother's inexperienced care."
“Well..if you can then go and be there at least. I can't. I won't appear in the open for a few days at least, since I don't want anyone to see me like this,” Thearl said softly. The last thing he needed right then was to have people talking about him and his condition.
"Alright. Would you like me to tell you what happens there? I'm sure you will be curious to know." Bacall offered.
“Would you?” Thearl asked, finally showing a little more interest about something. Focusing on other things made him forget his trouble for a moment. “Could I come and see you sometime tomorrow?”
"Of course. I will always be here keeping an eye on my sister's condition. You may come by when you like, it doesn't matter the time." Bacall assured him, "I only hope that this one will end better then last night."
“I hope so too. I hope that people had some time to think over everything and realized that Dwelian can't be trusted...” Thearl said softly.
"Aye," Bacall stated firmly, "I will do all in my power to help them see that, only I do not hold such sway over them like you do."
“I won't be able to attend the council...” Thearl said quietly. “And I hope they'll listen to you...”
"As do I." Bacall shook his head. The two men rose and made slowly for the door. "I will expect your coming tomorrow then." Bacall said, "Until then Thearl, do take care of yourself." he said this last sentence with complete seriousness.
“I will,” Thearl said quietly. “Thank you...”
Bacall bid him farewell and watched as he left down the road. He felt great relief and hope that he and Thearl were on their way to long reconciliation.
And Thearl, as he walked towards Andy's house, could not help but feel proud of himself. Even though he had broken down in front of his friend, he still had a friend. And that was all what mattered right then...
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