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Lord_Sauron
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on: November 24, 2015 08:56
Dear Diary,

What are these Hobbit creatures?. Did Aule go overboard and shorten his Dwarves? I remember when he showed me them, I told him not very impressive Boss they a just short Men with Beards. He of course wasn't amused. Come to think of it Aule actually created 8 I accidentally broke one bumped him off the workbench. Aule still doesn't know.

Sauron the misunderstood
Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: November 25, 2015 02:39
Dear Diary,

I don't know what that daft apprentice of Melkor's is going on about these days. He seems to be under the impression that I didn't know about the broken Dwarf. Must think I can't count for beans.

I suppose I should ask Melkor for some sort of compensation, but I don't have the energy to deal with him. He can be such a pain in the butt.

Aulë
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Gandolorin
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on: December 01, 2015 05:35
Dear Diary,

my (former) lieutenant is managing to get even on MY nerves. Still hasn't gotten the Hobbits figured out. Not paying attention to what you believe to be peripheral can get you into SO much trouble. Like when I mostly ignored that Earsomethingdil with his sailboat the odd Age ago.

Granted, that sailor did not drop-kick my behind into The Void personally (as the Hobbits did for my Maiar moron minion, adding insult to injury - snicker!) - but the end result differs - how???

Annoyed Melkor.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: December 02, 2015 12:11
Dear Diary,

Melkor is complaining (yet again). Now it's about his apprentice lieutenant partner in crime. Apparently, Sauron has been boasting about his accomplishments, and questioning Melkor about the reasoning behind some of his actions.

Melkor, on the other hand, is berating Sauron for not helping him during the War of Wrath (not that it would have actually changed the outcome).

Eönwë
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Gandolorin
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on: December 04, 2015 04:25
Dear Diary,

now what are these Void vultures complaining about? I mean, I only got involved in the fracas we had with Melkor before the Elves awakened, and put him in his place very quickly and decisively. Second time, I was able to delegate that to Eönwë. And don't even get me started about who kicked Sauron's behind!
I also have the impression those two have become a bit flabby, doing nothing but yakking for quite a while out there. Think I'll ask Manwë to check with Eru if it's OK for me to go to the Void and give them a bit of a fitness training. Need a name for it - hmmmmm - think I'll call it "aerobic" ...

Annoyed Tulkas.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: December 04, 2015 08:28
*bangs head on table and sighs*

Dear Diary,

Tulkas arrived in my office this morning, proposing to set up some sort of fitness programme for the yahoos stuck in the Void. Oh sure. Just what we need. Fit purveyors of misdeeds and mischief.

Frankly if they're getting flabby ...... wait, what am I saying? How are they getting flabby? The wife has them on a strict diet. *bangs head on desk again* I wonder who's been sneaking them food?

Manwë, the increasingly frustrated

"I have been picking out bear-tracks"
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Gandolorin
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on: December 05, 2015 04:49
Dear Diary,

has that muscle-bound moron been told about my last incarnation in Middle-earth??? Fitness training, my macula!!! I am an eye currently, Tulky baby! What am I supposed to do for fitness? Fast blinking with my eylids? Pushups with my eylashes? Get real, late-comer to Arda!

Furiously blinking Sauron.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: December 05, 2015 07:27
Dear Diary,

Apparently, being cast into the Void results in the loss of all reason. Sauron seems to be under the impression that he is currently in the guise of a great eye like he was in Middle-Earth. He doesn't seem to realise that he's returned to the form he had in Valinor.

Melkor, the entertained

"I have been picking out bear-tracks"
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Gandolorin
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on: December 07, 2015 06:35
Dear Diary,

Manwë seems to have some issues in regulating the Void ...
Sauron seems to have some issues with getting his incarnations sorted ...
and Melkor seems to be oblivious to the fact that he is sitting in a wheelchair ...

I think I'll leave this "aerobic" business to a much later Age.

Resigned Tulkas.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: December 08, 2015 04:14
Dear Diary,

That idiot, Tulkas, seems to be under the misguided impression that I'm sitting in a wheelchair because of some sort of disability.

The truth is there are few seats in the Void so you have to grab whatever you can find. You should have seen the fighting over an old beanbag chair.


Melkor, the increasingly bored


"I have been picking out bear-tracks"
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Gandolorin
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on: December 15, 2015 05:50
Dear Diary,

what's all this business about there supposedly being seating arrangements in the Void??? Wheelchairs and beanbags, no less! I always thought the Void would be furnished with the kind of stuff Morgoth had in his dungeons in Utumno and Angband, respectively Sauron in Barad-dur? I have the feeling I must check back with Eru on this issue!

Though, come to think of it, maybe a short chat with Námo would be a better idea; he did pay attention to some parts of The Music more than I did, and before I make a fool of myself ...

Puzzled Manwë.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: December 17, 2015 01:53
Dear Diary,

I would like to know how Manwë manages to hold onto his kingship. He seems to have problems with every little thing that comes to his attention.

Honestly, does it really matter whether or not there are an assortment of uncomfortable chairs in the Void? As long as the inmates aren't trying to break out, who cares?

No wonder he's always complaining about how stressed he is. Keeps making mountains out of mole hills.

Námo
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Gandolorin
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on: December 20, 2015 06:00
Dear Diary,

did Námo just insinuate that I was once a molehill? Well, just guess which Vala is going to have an interesting climb in his incarnate form the next time he visits Manwë!

Miffed Taniquetil.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: December 20, 2015 09:39
Dear Diary,

Went to visit Manwë today. What a trip! First I was chased by some sort of slavering beasts, and then there was a huge landslide that I had to avoid by ducking into a small cave. (Thank Eru I can change my size or I never would have fit.)

When I got to the doors of the palace, I was arrested for trespassing, and spent several hours sitting on a hard chair waiting for my interrogation, only to find out it was all a mistake!

Manwë apologised profusely, but it did little to soothe my frazzled nerves.

Námo
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Gandolorin
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on: December 21, 2015 03:13
Dear Diary,

now what was Tani thinking when he started that uproar?!? Some of his blasted rocks have blocked up some of my doorways! Now how does he think he can rectify this mess?

Annoyed Halls of Mandos.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: December 24, 2015 06:07
Dear Diary,

There seems to be a bit of a fracas going on so the boys and I are just going to slip out the doors and .......
FREEDOM!!!

Ancalagon (and Smaug and Glaurung)
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Gandolorin
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on: December 26, 2015 01:22
Dear Diary,

that's what happens when you follow the lead of a dragon that got clobbered by some half-elf wearing some trinket and goofing around in a dingy with a sail! Yes, these may have been exits from the Halls, but just our luck, they are all blocked by rocks and boulders, for whatever annoying and unknown reason.

Frustrated Glaurung.
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Lord_Sauron
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on: December 26, 2015 09:22
Dear Diary,

Did Glaurung call me some Half Elf with a trinket and sailing a dingy. He can't talk in my opinion he is just a fat overgrown slug, compared to him Ancalagon is a vast improvement of their species

Earendil

[Edited on 12/27/2015 by Lord_Sauron]
Gandolorin
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on: December 27, 2015 04:44
Dear Diary,

well, I guess we can dump the idea of freedom in the dustbin. A and G are at it about "half-Elf ... trinket ... dingy" and "fat overgrown slug" and whatnot. When I tried to point out to them that this stupid argument is not getting us out of here, they told me to stuff it. Something about that it was at least a half-Elf, the dingy was flying, and that this guy nicknamed Mormegil was after all one of the greatest heroes of the First Age. So I, having been clobbered some dinky archer of the Third Age with some help from a Halfling runt, should just keep my yap shut when my betters are talking.

That just riles me so much, what do those senile geezers think makes them so special?!? Think I'll ask the Witch-King how he deals with such trash-talk, I've heard rumors his final experience was vaguely similar to mine.

Fuming Smaug.
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Lord_Sauron
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on: December 27, 2015 05:30
Dear Diary

Smaug came over and asked me how I dealt with being killed by a woman. I told him that it was that stupid knife that the Hobbit had which was Elvish that really did the damage. We both agreed that that Gandalf wizard was a total nuisance as he put his nose into everything. Had he minded his business and left the Lonely Mountain alone I may have been riding Smaug during the Battle of Pelennor instead of that Fell Beast.

WitchKing of Angmar
Gandolorin
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on: December 30, 2015 05:50
Dear Diary,

excuses, excuses, excuses! Fact is, both S and WK got offed by a combination of a Halfling and a Human! ... Halflings - Ahhhhh ... I think I'm going to end this entry now ... Image

(Embarrassed) Sauron.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: December 30, 2015 11:38
Dear Diary,

I'm getting sick and tired of listening to King "Cry Baby" and Apprentice "Poor Me" sitting around comparing stories of how they met their demises in Middle-earth. I, at least, didn't meet mine and know that I shall return one day (when I find a weakness in the Walls of Night).

Melkor aka Morgoth aka Magnificent
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Gandolorin
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on: December 31, 2015 11:30
Dear Diary,

boy, it sure seems being stuck in the void make you loose contact with reality. Has M forgotten how pathetic he was when they took him down in Angband at the end of the First Age? No sense of proportion or of limited residual abilities after he totally overextended himself. I mean, if he had to face Fingolfin again today - M would be seriously, and negatively, surprised. And how does he think he's going to get his wheelchair through a weakness in the Walls of Night?.

Annoyed Sauron.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: January 02, 2016 06:29
Dear Diary,

I wish M and S would stop bickering. It's really starting to get on my nerves. The truth is that neither one of them was as successful as they think they were. I, on the other hand, managed quite nicely.

Saruman
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Gandolorin
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on: January 02, 2016 11:13
Dear Diary,

now that one even made M laugh. "Managed quite nicely", my macula! At the end, even those Halflings pitied S, now how low can you get. Just totally shriveled up when that last servant of his offed him with a dinky knife. But that may prove to be the reason for his last possible usefulness. Being so shriveled, he may fit through a very small crack in the Walls of Night ... ahhhhh ... I think the concept needs some polishing; shrink one of the dragons so he fits in S's pocket? Hmmmmm. Maybe M has some ideas.

Pondering Sauron.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: January 05, 2016 06:29
Dear Diary,

The "I" has some hair-brained scheme to sent S through the Walls of Night due to his particularly emaciated appearance. Seriously, if that's what passed for planning in the Third Age, no wonder they lost everything.

And, the dragons still insist that Celegorm's hound, and that useless cat of mine will free them.

Perplexed Morgoth
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Lord_Sauron
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on: January 05, 2016 06:41
Dear Diary

What is this Void place that I have been hearing about. Perhaps its a place that needs cheering up maybe it should have a nice garden. I am going off to find someone who can tell me about the Two Trees. I don't know if I should ask Yavanna about it as it may upset her, Maybe I should go and ask Galadriel

Samwise.
Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: January 07, 2016 04:45
Dear Diary,

That darling little Hobbit creature asked me about the Void this morning. I told him that it was where Melkor and his minions resided.

He was very afraid they would get out, but I assured him it was impossible. Manwë and Námo keep a close eye on it.

Yavanna
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Gandolorin
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on: January 10, 2016 07:30
Dear Diary,

I still don't quite understand what this Void is about. Nothing to do with gardening, so it can't be interesting.

But I have found this mound outside of Valimar, with what might be the remains of some enormously big trees - I mean, they must have been much larger than the Mallorns of Lórien. Maybe this is something I can occupy myself with - like with the Party Tree in Hobbiton?

Samwise.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: January 10, 2016 11:24
Dear Diary,

The little Hobbit, Sam, has been exploring and has come upon the remains of the Two Trees. He asked me what they were and, when I told him, burst into copious tears. "Just like in the tales," he said. I was at a loss as to what I should do but his little friend, Frodo, arrived and took him home.

Yavanna
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Gandolorin
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on: January 12, 2016 04:19
Dear Diary,

something awful must have happened to what is left of these two enormous trees on this huge mound - Ezellohar is what they call it, if I remember right. At least this awe-inspiring Valië Yavanna burst into tears so bad she soaked everything for yards around. Now I hate to second-guess these stupefying beings, but just before Mr. Frodo led me away from the mound I had the impression that those tree remains looked just a tad healthier. I also seem to remember (I forget if Mr. Bilbo or Mr. Frodo told me this) that tears had a lot to do with these trees during their existence. So maybe reviving these trees just needs some more special rain consisting of the tears of the Valar?
(Ouch! Where did I get all of these highbrow words??? I've got a headache!)

Samwise with a headache.
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: January 21, 2016 05:20
Dear Diary,

We finally managed to track down our wee Hobbit friend and have him designing a typical Hobbit-style country garden for us.

Irmo and Estë
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Gandolorin
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on: January 24, 2016 04:09
Dear Diary,

these Valar keep surprising me. Now this Irmo is more often named after his garden, and what do you suppose that is named? Lórien! Now begging the Lady Galadriel's pardon, but this garden is the original of which her Lórien in Middle-earth is only the copy. But what did Irmo and his wife Estë ask me to create for them? What they call "a typical Hobbit-style country garden"! Taters 'n' turnips 'n' tomatoes, is what my old Gaffer would have called it. Ah well, maybe they get bored with all their high-faluting stuff and like something more rustic at times.

Now if I could just get a question in edgewise with Lady Estë; seems she has something to do with fountains and pools. She might just be able to help me with my idea of watering those tree remains on Ezellohar - if I can just get her to end her gushing overs taters and stuff long enough ...

Samwise the vaguely mystified.

[Edited on 01/24/2016 by Gandolorin]
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Evil~Shieldmaiden
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on: January 25, 2016 03:40
Dear Diary,

I don't know why that Aragorn fellow insisted I had to return to Bree all by myself. It was really scary to be on my own. Then I had to make sure that awful man didn't find me and sell me again.

Now I'm waiting for that nice Hobbit fellow to come and get me. I really want to go home with him. He's so nice.

Bill the pony
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Lord_Sauron
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on: January 26, 2016 10:05
Dear Diary,

I have been thinking about Bill the pony a lot lately, now he was a good pony I wonder if I could get the Valar to bring him here or if not could they send him to live with either Old Tom Bombadil or that Radagast the Brown fellow.

Samwise Gamgee
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