Welcome Guest 

Register

Forum Home » Entertainment » Games Forum » Dear Diary ..... Tolkienverse Version
<< First34567Last >>
Author Topic:
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: December 24, 2014 06:09
Dear Diary,

Huan mentioned before that we are perhaps too big to fit into the Shire comfortably. But two of the three lizards are just a bit too cocky for their own good! I mean, in relation to Hobbits - some Hobbit tweens with slingshots could send them into a panic (red one with wings seems a little nervous anyway). And the fat one only able to walk could be forced to run faster that he ever did before - which could be too slow for comfort. And even the black one with wings should talk to some Shire birds before he possibly ends up as a camp-fire lighter with a head-ache. Got to discuss this with my BHF before the runts get themselves into serious trouble.

Tevildo
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: December 27, 2014 07:38
Dear Diary,

Well I'm stuffed! Can't say I've eaten this well since I bagged that herd of cattle in Kine. After some hissing and barking, it was decided to take our merry little band off to Finarfin's for a well-deserved dining experience. (Somehow Tevildo got it in his head we were going somewhere in The Shire ..... impossible, of course, as we're currently stuck in "LaLa Land" aka Valinor.)

Anyway, we crashed Finarfin's just as the meat course was being cleared away and taken back to the kitchens. While the serving staff, were preoccupied with the dessert course, we managed to scarf the lot and get away before anyone really noticed; with the exception of Smaug who got swatted with a broom when one of the junior maids spotted him flying over the chicken platter. Fortunately, he landed in a bowl of left-over rice and was uninjured.

When we decided we were ready to leave, we realized we had a problem. The old geezer had eaten far too much and was unable to walk. He was not a happy dragon when Huan picked him up in his mouth and carted him off the premises. The rest of us thought it was particularly hilarious but he hasn't stopped sulking yet.

Ah .... what a memorable evening! Now we're hiding out until New Year's when we'll sally forth again.


Ancalagon the Totally Stuffed



[Edited on 12/30/2014 by Evil~Shieldmaiden]
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: December 29, 2014 01:39
Dear Diary,

if you think pooches are sloppy eaters, you haven't seen three runt lizards gorge themselves! Glaurung basically looked like a pumpkin when he was finished. There is no way I can get my mouth open that wide, so my BHF had the job of carrying him off the premises. And I don't know why the two with wings are snickering about that, they could hardly keep aloft! Balloons with tiny wings attached to them is what they looked like! Lead balloons! (now why do I have some heavy, Angband - suitable music running through my head since then???).
Got to ask BHF if he likes bowling. We would have three balls for a start ...
Image

Tevildo.
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: December 29, 2014 08:23
Dear Diary,

I cannot believe it but the hound and cat have somehow corrupted Smaug and Ancalagon. Yes, I know that's harsh but they were lovely hatchlings when they were just out of the egg. Now they're only interested in partying and feasting.

I gather they're now planning something called a New Year's Eve party crash. Not sure exactly what that is but I suspect it will more of the same shenanigans they got into at Finarfin's place. I sincerely regret participating in that fiasco which left me unable to perambulate due to excessive food intake, and resulted in my having to be carried off the premises by that blasted hound. The cat and the hound are still going on about it ad nauseum.

I guess I'll be forced to go along on whatever hair-brained scheme they cook up, if only to keep them safe from discovery. We almost got caught when Smaug flew in front of a maid on the way to a platter of left over chicken. Fortunately, she was somewhat in her cups and thought he was only a dragonfly .... little did she realize!

Well, I had better go check on them and see what mischief they've cooked up.

Glaurung



[Edited on 12/30/2014 by Evil~Shieldmaiden]
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: January 02, 2015 01:55
Melkor is the Elder King

Dear Diary,

my jaw still hurts from carrying Glaurung in his pumpkin mode after he gorged himself to the gills (do dragonlets have gills?). He can just barely waddle again by now (before that is was more like tobogganing on his belly, pushing himself forwards - barely! - with all four feet!) Now the three runts are putting their heads together and cooking up some more mischief, I bet! Since T brought them along, I'm going to tell him to warn them that if they go pumpkin AGAIN, we're rolling them, no more jaw dislocation! T said something about bowling before? They'd better hope we don't find something looking like pins, or the rolling could become uncomfortably fast!

Exasperated Huan.

[Edited on 01/02/2015 by Gandolorin]
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: January 02, 2015 03:20
"Morgoth loves Angainor"

Dear Diary,

Just checking the old Palantír I found to see what's happening in Valinor. Thinks have been mighty slow around here. Even the Orcs are behaving themselves in the hope the Valar will transfer them to a medium security facility. Good luck with that!

*looks into Palantír*

What the heck! I see some idiot has shrunk my dragons! They look ridiculous. I wonder what mischief they got into to get themselves into such a predicament.

Mind you, it doesn't seem to have slowed them down much. I see they've crashed Maedhros' New Year's Eve party and eaten all of the leftover meats. By the Valar! Huan and that miscreant Tevildo are involved as well! My brother should be tearing his hair out by now .... which makes me very happy.



Morgoth
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: January 07, 2015 01:37
Dear Diary,

yes, Melko(r) has still just not adjusted to being in the void. Reality check was never one of his strengths, I mean, Lúthien putting both Carcharoth and him in a total snooze mode rang no bells at all!

Why have his lizards not gone to the Shire, just to Elven parties? Exactly because the Elves treadted them as dragonflies. I mean, the very practical Hobbits, being big pipe-weed smokers, would have turned them into lighters by embedding them in any of the large variety of encasements they are able to produce. Yes, they are small lizards by now, and must fear many (unless accompanied grudgingly by Tevildo and Huan).

Amused Manwë
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: January 10, 2015 08:40
Dear Diary,

Not much time to write this as Aragorn insists we keep on moving. I'm so hungry my stomach thinks my throat's been slit. Not only did we not have second breakfast but we didn't stop for dinner either. I guess the best we can hope for is a bedtime snack. That simply won't do for the likes of us.

Gotta go. Aragorn is barking orders again.

Pippin
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: January 20, 2015 12:40
Dear Diary,

Pippin is complaining! We are just a few miles out of Bree! How am I supposed to get this short-legged bunch to Imladris, for Eru's sake!
What was that Elrond said? They can if they must, you just have to get them to the point that they realize it is a must situation. Hmmm. We could go around the Midgewater Marshes, no time difference. But no, I think they need to realize that this is no stroll through the Shire! Marshes, and especially Midges, here we come!

Grumbling Aragorn.
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: January 28, 2015 08:17
Dear Diary,

I wish I could be as happy as Sam is about seeing Elves. It's bad enough having to deal with a human on this Valar-forsaken journey. Between the Nazgûl and the midges, I'm sorry I was talked into this mess. Hopefully, things will pick up over the next few days. Our camp tonight will be at some place called Amon Sul. I hope we can get a decent night's sleep.

Merry


Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: February 05, 2015 11:54
Dear Diary,

after that fracas with what may have been a Maia in disguise which did not really go so well, last night's wasn't anything to brag about either, IMHO. But Number 1 seems quite smugly pleased with himself for some reason. Considering we now appear to be getting closer to this place called Imladris in our venture, I fail to see how things are supposed to have gotten better!

Nazgûl number five.
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: February 12, 2015 06:46
Dear Diary,

I really, really don't like to complain but ..... 9 days of riding around the Shire in the pouring rain looking for one wee Hobbit out of thousands because he has a ring the boss wants ..... well, that pretty much takes the cake as far as I'm concerned.

I'm wet, my horse is wet and I just wanna go home.

Nazgûl #3
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: February 17, 2015 04:45
Dear Diary,

so all nine of us attack this definitely-not-human dude and get fought to a draw, and now No. 1 is sending only FOUR of us after him in a direction that could lead us closer to that place that gave The Boss trouble ages ago??? Sounds like a wonderful idea if our aim is to trot back to The Boss's digs on foot!

Worried Nazgul #8
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: February 19, 2015 02:13
Dear Diary,

I don't know what all the griping is about. I mean, seriously, so we're getting a little wet! We don't have bodies, so come on, how can this actually affect us?

We don't need to eat, we don't need to sleep, we don't need to ..... (forget about that one.) And we get to ride fell beasts which is a way better than travelling by horse over miles and miles of boring terrain. It's awesome!

Nazgûl #6

[Edited on 02/19/2015 by Evil~Shieldmaiden]
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: February 19, 2015 06:07
Dear Diary,

#6 definitely has a very steep learning curve in zoology ahead of him (city kid, probably). Like fell beasts could fly! Probably Mûmakil are slightly better suited with their big ears. Though #6 is probably highly uninterested about what just got shot away from his invisible behind. It's horse time for you again, bubba - if you're lucky (these flying thingies are single-seaters).

Sneering Nazgul #8
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: March 03, 2015 08:31
Dear Diary,

I really don't understand 8's attitude. He continues to treat me like a total rube. Apparently, I got his favourite horse (not that you can tell the difference between them - they all bite and smell). I suppose I could give it back to him, but I think I'll just keep it to spite him.

He could also use a fashion counselling session. The way his robe drapes off his shoulders is criminal. It could also use a good laundering.

Miffed Nazgûl #6
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: March 05, 2015 01:13
Dear Diary,

oh dear oh dear oh dear, #6's learning curve keeps steepening! Spiting each other is entirely in keeping with our mission (keeps us aggressive - duh!).

And of course my robe should drape off my shoulders criminally - I mean, we are not nice guys! *sigh*

And launder the robe??? Hellooooo! #6 does not seem to realize that our effect on others is not simply some esoteric stuff, our stench has very much to do with them fainting! (And come to think of it, why is #6 still able to smell this? I think he needs several desensitizing sessions in the pits!)

Annoyed-at-rubes Nazgul #8

[Edited on 03/05/2015 by Gandolorin]
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: March 09, 2015 07:36
"Find the Halfling!"

"Find the Halfling!"

Dear Diary,

I've about had it will all the bellyaching and whispering back and forth in the rank and file. One more comment about fashion, food, or Frodo and somebody is going to be a headless horseman. And, I don't care what the Witch-King says.

Khamûl
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: March 10, 2015 02:34
Dear Diary,

Oh great! Now the Easterling chicken dropping pipes up, the one who leads his horse around every puddle. Never mind the thing on the shores of the Baranduin! I guess #3 is a buddy of his, because #3 complained about rain (water from above) so pathetically. How are these wimps ever going to be able to take flying very high up on our next steeds? Pathetic!

Frustrated Witch-King
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: March 11, 2015 03:54
Dear Diary,

I'm having a lot of trouble with my beasts today. For some reason they've gone off their food, and they refuse to leaving their caves. The Boss is going to be really ticked when he finds out, but I don't have any idea what's wrong with them.

Fell Beast Keeper #2
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: March 13, 2015 05:04
Dear Diary,

so far we thought we were the really big critters around, but then these strange people brought some weird, and really huge critters (with very strange, very long noses) to the camp. Insult and injury to our self-esteem aside, the noise these hose-noses make is far worse than that of the Nazgûl, unbelievable as that may seem. Has gotten all of us off our feed, to the puzzlement of our keepers.

Fell Beast #2
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: March 13, 2015 06:08
"Find the Halfling!"

Dear Diary,

I have no idea what those awful smelling creatures are lurking behind the sheds. They look to be some sort of winged beast, but they won't come out of hiding long enough for us to get a decent look at them. Stupid cowards!

Ah, some fresh water and hay is finally arriving. It's about time!

Mûmakil #9
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: March 13, 2015 07:58
Dear Diary,

seems the hose-nose keepers have fed those huge blobs, silencing their insufferable racket. I mean, if we spread our wings, we could encompass six of those blobs within our wingspan. So who is going to make more of an impression on our foes?

Fell Beast #2
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: March 18, 2015 05:17
Dear Diary,

Those dreadful, uncouth animals expected us to carry supplies to the troops getting ready for battle, as though we were lowly beasts of burden. They were very annoyed when they got the orders to take the supplies. *snickers*

We, of course, are being fitted with our riding platforms so we can carry troops into battle. What do they not understand about us being great and feared animals of war? Supplies indeed!

Mûmakil #15
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: March 19, 2015 05:53
Dear Diary,

the hose-noses seem not to be able to get {something} beasts sorted out. The supply luggers are, of course the Great Beasts.

Fitted with riding platforms to carry troops into battle. Woo-hoo! Blubber-lumps, we carry the generals, and one of us even the field marshal! These important commanders do not in the remotest have the time it would take you to stump anywhere!

Sarcastic Fell Beast #1
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: March 19, 2015 07:09
"Thranduil is Awesome!"

Der Dyaree,

Don't care bout non of dem mummykills, or fal beesties, jest wants te em all outta my stble.

Mukraker #2
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: March 29, 2015 03:37
"Sauron needs a monocle."

Image
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: March 30, 2015 05:57
"Tevildo is the Prince of Cats"

Mu-kraker, Muk-raker, Mukr-aker, Mukra-ker, Mukrak-er -
what the *BLEEEEEP* is it?????

Image Image Image Image Image
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 23, 2015 07:44
Image

Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: April 27, 2015 04:29
Dear Diary,

no, I don't want any mu-krakers. I do not belong to the Artiodactyla of the bovine sort. Look at my nose, silly! If the fodder doesn't get any better very quickly, we are not attacking anything anytime soon. And no, anything too close to birdseed like what you feed the wing-flappers carrying those nine ear-splitters will NOT do!

Annoyed Mûmakil spokes-animal.
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 28, 2015 05:03
Dear Diary,

Dang and blast! Now the long-noses have stopped eating. We've given them all our hay and now I have no idea what to feed them. Not to mention that their riders are drinking in the pub and are too inebriated to answer any questions about feeding options. If I thought I could find another job, I would quit!

Mûmakil Stable Hand
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: April 30, 2015 03:20
Dear Diary,

bird-seed? BIRD-SEED??? What does that enormous blob of a hose-nose know about the diet we elegant avians need??? I mean, for him to be able to fly, his wing-span would need to be about ten times that of Thorondor!!! Ignorant lump!!!

Very annoyed Fell Beast # 6
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: April 30, 2015 08:29
Dear Diary,

Well we finally got rid of the oliphaunts so now we're just stuck with the dragon-thingys. They don't seem to want the bird seed we gave them so we're going to try some salad type things. I wish people would leave instructions before the toddle off to the taverns so we know what we're doing.

Fell-beast Stable Hand
Image
Gandolorin
Council Member
Posts: 24040
Send Message
Post
on: May 04, 2015 05:51
Dear Diary,

this is so depressing! FB#6 very definitely voiced disapproval of bird-seed! But then so did the lumpy hose-nose blobs. Can it be this pathetic stabling enterprise has nothing but birdseed??? Maybe the lumpy hose-nose blobs have it right about going on strike. We must squawk about this!

Annoyed Fell Beast # 4
Image
Evil~Shieldmaiden
Games Moderator, and Chief Corrupted Weaver of Vairë
Posts: 36021
Send Message
Avatar
Post
on: May 06, 2015 11:45
"Where's Thranduil when you need him?"

Dear Diary,

We finally got some proper food for the great ugly flying things. Apparently it was on the wagon train nobody bothered to tell us was arriving today.

Would be nice if them black dressed fools took more interest in the beasties. They need some exercise and I ain't getting on one of them! I'm thinking we should report them to the GSPCA.

Fell Beast Cleaner Upper #4
Image
<< First34567Last >>
Members Online
Print Friendly, PDF & Email